Welcome Sadface! Also congratulations on your first day of being game free! It is hard at first, so be kind to yourself and don't expect to do amazing tasks in the first few weeks. Focus on staying game free hour by hour, day by day, and don't be tempted to look too far ahead. Going to bed early and surprising your husband is a very good thing to do too. If you are like many of us, our sleeping patterns take a while to get sorted out again, and lots of sleep in the early days is healthy and good. Make sure you read up on what withdrawals you might expect so that you are not suddenly surprised if they hit you. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. Hugs
Well I am back. I relapsed on SC2 and Mass Effect 2 recently. But, as it says in my NA book about relapse, it can bring about a more rigorous recovery program.
How it happened was basically I had some free time on my hands because work was slowing down. Then one night I watched some more Husky StarCraft videos, and then it progressed to wanting to play sc2, which I did. I did play WoW as well, figuring I should use up the time I had left on my account, but I got bored quick. I wanted something different so I downloaded Mass Effect 2 on my PC because I really enjoyed it on Xbox and surprisingly it ran better on my PC. I started to play that a good amount per day. It wasn't until I realized when my parents walked in and gave me that strange look that they gave me when I was using drugs. I realized then that I might still have a problem. I kept playing and lied to some of my friends about being busy so I continue to play Mass Effect. That made me feel like I had lost some serenity because lying is something I have been trying to stop for my other recovery. Also the want to use drugs again arose. Finally I decided to hit a NA meeting and we read a powerful story in our book about a father's struggle with his kids following in his footsteps of using. His son relapsed after he had gone to Afghanistan. When his son was going take a train back to see him get into recovery, his son overdosed and died in the train station. It made me think about how fine a line it is between high and overdose when using drugs. This scared me, and I also realized that I must change what and whom I associate with to truly stay away from active addiction. I definitely considered video games to be my friend when I was on drugs. They still have that association with me so I must change it or else I am doomed.
I can gladly say today I actually uninstalled all my games, AND removed all the iso's and installer files to ALL games I had once played of my pc. Freed up around 80GB in all I think =). I am certainly nervous about what I am gona fill up my time with, although I do have some things I can do, sometimes I do get distracted and I start to think about gaming. One thing I will have to remember, (usually) as long as I am around a PC, I will have instant access to Olga while the games will take time because I will have to re download and install them. And even with a beastly internet speed, it will still take longer than simply logging onto here =).
Great job, Ry. I do support you 100% and know everything you just said to the nth degree...cept I never played some of those games...it's all the same overall, anyway.
What I do now with the thought...and I think someone rightly named them ANTS on here recently...I forget what the letters mean...but when hit with a thought of gaming, I actively turn my attention away within 3 seconds...well, sometimes I am squirrelly, but 99% of the time I turn away from those thoughts.
It works and it helps with other addiction imagery as well...like the other day I walked into Winn Dixie and was immediately hit with bank after bank of booze. My knees got weak, but i walked on by...don't go to Winn dixie any more because of this.
You're doing a great job and show great insight into your malady...keep on keeping on!
Here I am back again - been evony free since 26th June. After I gave all my cities and HHs away on age2 I reset my accounts - I cried on and off for 2 days. Then went through a couple of weeks of moodiness and depression and not knowing what to do with myself. But yesterday I woke up and felt quite optimistic and I'm actually getting RL stuff done!
But I think the hardest part is yet to come.... Because I still get that feeling of emptiness when I walk past the computer - or sit down and try to remember what I used to do before evony. I used to write wikipedia articles - I should get back into that.
Found out some interesting things since then about friendships. Chatting in alliance chat while farming or waiting for an attack to hit is not really friendship - when you take the evony out there is no substance. It's like talking to the person standing next to you at the bustop... It was a rather depressing realization... But makes staying "clean" easier when you realise that even the friendships aren't as real as you thought they were...
Thanks for all the support here - reading the experiences of others really does help a lot.
Hang in there SadFace, a lot of people have reported that after about 30 days game free they start to feel like they are coming out of the worst of the withdrawal issues. I know it worked that way for me.
However even long after the 30 day mark I had to work on re-training my mind to enjoy things outside of gaming. Gaming had conditioned me so strongly that for a while I felt that nothing in real life was measuring up any more...
—
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
Two weeks of being game free. This is my third shot at this. What's different this time is that I have a sponsor. I feel good, and was free of the compulsion to game today. Which was good, because I was stressed by a difficult work situation.
I thought it would be good for me to count days once again. The last time I relapsed was on Nov 11, so today I am 23 days game-free, and I'm workng on no more relapses. How I'm working on this is by reading through a book about the 12 steps called "The Little Red Book" with my co-sponsor and also working on my spiritual life, as well as seeing a counselor to help me sort out all the "stuff" in my life.
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Hi I did have 1/2 hour relapse on the first, no relapse is a small thing and I forgot. it was horrible. I am starting to count my days from then, so 4 days gamefree.
My addict really lets me know how much he/she hates me .....its tuff and pain ful. I have tolook at my life....
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
day 6 I am sick at home, so I have a lot of time, so I spent it here on Olga.
Thanks for you all being here adn helping with your posts
Mumukshu
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
day 7 still sick, is being the whole day on Olga addiction too?
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Its Friday, day 8, no intention of gaming, thinking of food though but wil stay within my fod paln today too...... still sick can't go to OA face to face. Time on hand, so I wrote my history, to my new Olga sponsor, actually just have the idea to posting it here. I might do that, getting it out to all of you, is risky, but freeing too.
Thanks all
Mumu
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Hi Monday day11 for me, I am feeling 100 % better from my cold, and I am at work which is very riskeeee, because all my old habits of not wanting to deal with my office are right here in my office.
And the Computer is always ready.... but I am not going to game instead I saw there is a meeting?/???? great I'll be there.
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
mumu - glad to hear you're feeling better and congratz on day 11! And good job for going to a meeting instead of a game.
Hirsh - "the grind" sounds like "white knuckling it". I'm not doing that. I think my whole attitude towards relapse has changed. Before I wasn't taking it seriously. To me a little relapse now and again was no big thing. But not anymore. Since DTS's post I understand, now, the seriousness of it and there will be no more. I'm willing to do what it takes.
Day 29 - no gaming, no thoughts of gaming, making Christmas cards and painting a sign for a friend.
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
today I am game free for 18 days, its pretty cool, my food is more or less in check too. So I am grateful
—
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Yay Marshmellow and Mumukshu! Thanks for letting us know you're doing well.
—
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Welcome Sadface! Also congratulations on your first day of being game free! It is hard at first, so be kind to yourself and don't expect to do amazing tasks in the first few weeks. Focus on staying game free hour by hour, day by day, and don't be tempted to look too far ahead. Going to bed early and surprising your husband is a very good thing to do too. If you are like many of us, our sleeping patterns take a while to get sorted out again, and lots of sleep in the early days is healthy and good. Make sure you read up on what withdrawals you might expect so that you are not suddenly surprised if they hit you. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing. Hugs
Well I am back. I relapsed on SC2 and Mass Effect 2 recently. But, as it says in my NA book about relapse, it can bring about a more rigorous recovery program.
How it happened was basically I had some free time on my hands because work was slowing down. Then one night I watched some more Husky StarCraft videos, and then it progressed to wanting to play sc2, which I did. I did play WoW as well, figuring I should use up the time I had left on my account, but I got bored quick. I wanted something different so I downloaded Mass Effect 2 on my PC because I really enjoyed it on Xbox and surprisingly it ran better on my PC. I started to play that a good amount per day. It wasn't until I realized when my parents walked in and gave me that strange look that they gave me when I was using drugs. I realized then that I might still have a problem. I kept playing and lied to some of my friends about being busy so I continue to play Mass Effect. That made me feel like I had lost some serenity because lying is something I have been trying to stop for my other recovery. Also the want to use drugs again arose. Finally I decided to hit a NA meeting and we read a powerful story in our book about a father's struggle with his kids following in his footsteps of using. His son relapsed after he had gone to Afghanistan. When his son was going take a train back to see him get into recovery, his son overdosed and died in the train station. It made me think about how fine a line it is between high and overdose when using drugs. This scared me, and I also realized that I must change what and whom I associate with to truly stay away from active addiction. I definitely considered video games to be my friend when I was on drugs. They still have that association with me so I must change it or else I am doomed.
I can gladly say today I actually uninstalled all my games, AND removed all the iso's and installer files to ALL games I had once played of my pc. Freed up around 80GB in all I think =). I am certainly nervous about what I am gona fill up my time with, although I do have some things I can do, sometimes I do get distracted and I start to think about gaming. One thing I will have to remember, (usually) as long as I am around a PC, I will have instant access to Olga while the games will take time because I will have to re download and install them. And even with a beastly internet speed, it will still take longer than simply logging onto here =).
'8/14/2012'
Great job, Ry. I do support you 100% and know everything you just said to the nth degree...cept I never played some of those games...it's all the same overall, anyway.
What I do now with the thought...and I think someone rightly named them ANTS on here recently...I forget what the letters mean...but when hit with a thought of gaming, I actively turn my attention away within 3 seconds...well, sometimes I am squirrelly, but 99% of the time I turn away from those thoughts.
It works and it helps with other addiction imagery as well...like the other day I walked into Winn Dixie and was immediately hit with bank after bank of booze. My knees got weak, but i walked on by...don't go to Winn dixie any more because of this.
You're doing a great job and show great insight into your malady...keep on keeping on!
Your new friend, Laurel in Louisiana
Here I am back again - been evony free since 26th June. After I gave all my cities and HHs away on age2 I reset my accounts - I cried on and off for 2 days. Then went through a couple of weeks of moodiness and depression and not knowing what to do with myself. But yesterday I woke up and felt quite optimistic and I'm actually getting RL stuff done!
But I think the hardest part is yet to come.... Because I still get that feeling of emptiness when I walk past the computer - or sit down and try to remember what I used to do before evony. I used to write wikipedia articles - I should get back into that.
Found out some interesting things since then about friendships. Chatting in alliance chat while farming or waiting for an attack to hit is not really friendship - when you take the evony out there is no substance. It's like talking to the person standing next to you at the bustop... It was a rather depressing realization... But makes staying "clean" easier when you realise that even the friendships aren't as real as you thought they were...
Thanks for all the support here - reading the experiences of others really does help a lot.
Hang in there SadFace, a lot of people have reported that after about 30 days game free they start to feel like they are coming out of the worst of the withdrawal issues. I know it worked that way for me.
However even long after the 30 day mark I had to work on re-training my mind to enjoy things outside of gaming. Gaming had conditioned me so strongly that for a while I felt that nothing in real life was measuring up any more...
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
202 days today, last 6 months have been awesome, won back my wife and kids and have been a participating family member.
Two weeks of being game free. This is my third shot at this. What's different this time is that I have a sponsor. I feel good, and was free of the compulsion to game today. Which was good, because I was stressed by a difficult work situation.
One day at a time.
Congrats Jamaneval for 202 days!!!! that's awesome.
Congrats Cjl, two weeks is wonderful!! Don't worry it's your third shot, it takes what it takes. Glad you have a sponsor, it's much easier that way :)
Nov. 1st the last time I played. Getting a lot done-still want to play, but simply don't. The worst is over...depression mostly.
Real life connections are hard work, but worth it.
I thought it would be good for me to count days once again. The last time I relapsed was on Nov 11, so today I am 23 days game-free, and I'm workng on no more relapses. How I'm working on this is by reading through a book about the 12 steps called "The Little Red Book" with my co-sponsor and also working on my spiritual life, as well as seeing a counselor to help me sort out all the "stuff" in my life.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
YAY Silvertabby!!!!!
I remember the Little Red Book. I have it on Kindle.
Good for you; I'm very proud of you.
Thanks Pat! I got it on Kindle too....I'm loving my Kindle. The book was only 89 cents...can't beat a deal like that (unless it was free, of course).
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
89cents????????
OMG!!!
good for you!!
Hi I did have 1/2 hour relapse on the first, no relapse is a small thing and I forgot. it was horrible. I am starting to count my days from then, so 4 days gamefree.
My addict really lets me know how much he/she hates me .....its tuff and pain ful. I have tolook at my life....
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Contratz on 4 days game-free, Mumu! *hugs* We can stay game-free!
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
I am starting over again -- 8 days clear of my habit. One day at a time is the only way to count.
8 days!!! good for you!
Congratz Marshmellow on 8 days game-free!
I am now on 24 days of game-freeness.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
conrats everyone, me 5 days gamefree hurrah
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
you are brave mumukahu
you can rebuild your time and your sanity
but even today is a good day, b/c you are centered on recovery
gl hf
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
day 6 I am sick at home, so I have a lot of time, so I spent it here on Olga.
Thanks for you all being here adn helping with your posts
Mumukshu
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
day 7 still sick, is being the whole day on Olga addiction too?
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Neh, you will get bored with it anyway :-). Hope you get better soon Mumu. Day 7 is great! Thanks for the chat the other day, too. Was good.
"I want to see people and I want to see life."
Congrats Mumukshu! Staying all day on OLGA is a good thing.
Congrats to Marshmellow and Silvertabby....big hugs!
Congratz mumu on one week game free!!!
Day 26 for me and thank you Pat! Been too busy lately to game.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
is staying all day in the real world healthy?
yes:)
but don't take my word for it.
thinking of some cheesy end to this response, but not finding one
gl hf mumu
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
Its Friday, day 8, no intention of gaming, thinking of food though but wil stay within my fod paln today too...... still sick can't go to OA face to face. Time on hand, so I wrote my history, to my new Olga sponsor, actually just have the idea to posting it here. I might do that, getting it out to all of you, is risky, but freeing too.
Thanks all
Mumu
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
I am so glad you posted your history Mumukshu. It helps me a lot.
Today is 4 weeks game-free for me - 28 days.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
YAY Silvertabby!!! you should have mentioned that in our Skype meeting today!
I'm so proud of you!!!! BIG HUGS!
and now the grind kicks in,
let me know how it goes,
i am feeling it myself the last (3?) months
thinking about the joy of gaming tonight
i hope i won't though
gl hf gn
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
Hi Monday day11 for me, I am feeling 100 % better from my cold, and I am at work which is very riskeeee, because all my old habits of not wanting to deal with my office are right here in my office.
And the Computer is always ready.... but I am not going to game instead I saw there is a meeting?/???? great I'll be there.
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
mumu - glad to hear you're feeling better and congratz on day 11! And good job for going to a meeting instead of a game.
Hirsh - "the grind" sounds like "white knuckling it". I'm not doing that. I think my whole attitude towards relapse has changed. Before I wasn't taking it seriously. To me a little relapse now and again was no big thing. But not anymore. Since DTS's post I understand, now, the seriousness of it and there will be no more. I'm willing to do what it takes.
Day 29 - no gaming, no thoughts of gaming, making Christmas cards and painting a sign for a friend.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Great Mumu and Silver!!! doing a good job, both of you.
good to hear:)
gl hf
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
Today is 30 days for me without gaming.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Congrats on the 30 days, Silvertabby!
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Day 20 - Trying not to think about it... doing other stuff... The game was just that...
GRATS to Tabby for 30 days!!!
GRATS to Marshmellow for 20 days!!!!
today I am game free for 18 days, its pretty cool, my food is more or less in check too. So I am grateful
first stopped, end of December 2010, a few short relapses. Then I got it, NO more relapses....... never again......, game free since December 1st, 2011. Thanks Olga.... one more relapse on phone, one week of hell in 2014
Yay Marshmellow and Mumukshu! Thanks for letting us know you're doing well.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Congratz mumu on 18 days game-free!
36 days for me today.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson