Member's experiences and attitudes to video game addict's cheating, online affairs and porn

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Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Member's experiences and attitudes to video game addict's cheating, online affairs and porn

This is a resource to link to threads regarding online affairs and use of porn by the addict; whether they are male or female they can have relationships with others online.

Please also feel free post your own experience or views.

The  introduction below is taken from this thread, and is a response to a new member whose husband is an addict : https://www.olganon.org/comment/209587#comment-209587

"Welcome to our site. You are not alone. You are not the first - you are FAR from the first - spouse to be hurt and depressed and devastated by a partner's cheating on the internet.

I'll be straight up with you: on this site, we believe that cyber-cheating is... cheating. If you read the stories of gamers who became caught up in online "affairs," they will, to a person, tell you that the feelings and the blowback were identical to what would have ensued from a physical relationship. Your husband says it isn't "really" cheating because it isn't physical? Well, good for him, but too bad because he isn't the one who gets the sole authority to define the terms here. Suppose he were kissing another woman passionately... would he be able to claim it wasn't cheating because they didn't have sex? How would your husband feel if it were YOU having this relationship, and he was the one sitting on the couch? Would he be peachy with the idea that because you didn't think it was cheating, it wasn't?

Cybering is a great outlet for folks who are experiencing the urge to stray, but don't want to go through all that messy business of no-tell motels and lipstick on the collar. They can fool themselves into thinking that they're not doing harm, because it's all in cyberspace. Then, too, the "other person" can take any form, present any set of desirable characteristics, because it's all ultimately a fantasy. Your husband can project any vision that he has of the ideal woman onto this woman, because he doesn't ever have to see her brushing her teeth or when she has the flu or even ever in person.

We cannot tell you what to do about your marriage or about the fact that your husband is expecting you to tolerate his adultery. That is only between the two of you. What we can affirm is that, yes, he's cheating, and you have the right to be angry about it. Some cheated-on spouses will deliver an ultimatum... others will give the spouse time to "work it out"... some will confront the "other person"... some will just give up and settle for what they can get or come to some kind of an accommodation where both spouses are allowed to stray. It all depends on so many factors that we can't know, such as whether you have children, whether you can support yourself, the history between you - and we would be being extremely presumptuous to tell you which path to take here.

It is possible to salvage a relationship that has been harmed by adultery. It is possible to heal, I've seen it happen. But it takes a gigantic amount of work on both sides, and has to be initiated by a commitment on the part of the straying spouse to rigorous honesty, not nebulous promises of "things working out." "

 

MORE LINKS

A spouse's experience of discovering an online affair and offer of support to others:

http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/here-help-lost-marriage-video-games-and

A member asks is erotic 'role play 'cheating ?

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/online-marriagesrelationships

A member challenges his wife about her male online friends

http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/wife-addicted-and-getting-perosnal-online

A member explores her attitude to her husbands erotic online games

http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others/husband-neglecting-marriage-computer-games-including

 

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Polga
Polga's picture
Offline
Last seen: 5 days 17 hours ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
This website has more

This website has more information and links to resources around cyber - cheating

https://cyberwidows.tripod.com/

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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