Step 1, Thread 5. We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

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Aryianna
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Step 1, Thread 5. We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Post about Step 1 here. To read what others have shared about Step 1, go here:  Step 1 - Thread 1 and  Step 1 - Thread 2, and Step 1 - Thread 3 and Step 1 - Thread 4

Posted on: Sun, 11/03/2002 - 8:37pm
Posted by Aryianna
Posts: 248
Joined: 2002-10-21
[OLGA Member]

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable

Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

Admission Step

Membership Requirement 

This step states the membership requirement of O.L.G.A.

We use gaming to avoid our pain.
We live in a fantasy world.
We cannot cope with our real life.
Our denial kept us from seeing how powerless and unmanageable our lives had become.
We must admit that our lives are disturbed.
We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of gaming.
We must admit that we are licked as far as gaming is concerned and that we need help.
We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot game like other people.
And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop gaming.

Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from "social" gamers?

There are two parts to this step:  Powerlessness and Unmanageability.

Powerless over our separation from our spiritual base, we use gaming to fill the void caused by that separation

Have you found yourself unable to control your online gaming? 
Did you feel that you had no power to put limitations on the amount of time you spent playing? 
Do you find yourself spending time in the game, even though you don't want to? 
Do you find you don't have the willpower to stop playing?

Unmanageability

Has your life become unmanageable as a result of online game addiction? 
Is your life out of control? 
Are there areas of responsibilities that you've been neglecting as a result of playing online games?

Recovery starts by surrendering and by admitting that there is something wrong.

Not everyone who plays on-line games are addicts, but those who are addicts are the ones who have lost control -- have experienced powerlessness and unmanageability. We had to stop fighting a Higher Power, ourselves and others.

The solution: Honesty Open-mindedness Willingness 

Members, feel free to share your experience, strength and hope on this subject by replying to this thread.

Some of you have asked that I start off the discussion, since you really don't know how to go about sharing or what to share, so here goes. 
Powerlessness as it related to my gaming meant that I was unable to log off at times that I had set for myself.  Often I would end up playing past 4:00 a.m. and had to get up around 8:30 a.m. to be at work. Now I can't tell you whether it was the game or the guy who's part of my story (some of you know my drama story) that kept me logged on that long, but the point I'm trying to make is that at times I had no control over how long I would stay in the game. As a result of my powerlessness (to control how long I would stay logged), my life had become unmanageable. To this day, I still have a stack of mail that I need to get through and sort.  I had neglected bills, returning phone calls, going out with friends, appointments with friends for the game. It's important for me to see my lack of control and the resulting unmanageability that followed in my life.  By admitting both, I am able to do something about my problem. 

Okay, your turn!

Bannock Diva
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Step 1

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

I do admit that I am powerless over my chess game

How my live has become unmanageable! 

Not doing house work

not being focused on my work

not being there for my family (son and granddaughter) when they say I am not listening to them. Which it's true..I am always thinking about my next move. 

playing every second, while waiting for appointments, staying late at work "saying I am working late" going on Sunday's not 100% work related. 

Neglecting my love, neglecting my animals

smoking and gaming Is like cocaine and alcohol

Honesty & Acceptance 

being honest with myself... I want to be my best with my family... I've messed up 29 years ago with alcohol and drugs... I can be focused, loveable and funny. I can be here and now... Like I used to be

acceptance of facing my fear and  abstain from neglecting my duties and a soulful human being!

 

BD

Dre
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STEP 1: I admit that I am

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I surrender to the harsh reality of me being an addict and I admit that something is wrong.

I use gaming to avoid pain
I cannot cope with intense emotions healthily and instead escape into a fantasy world
I cannot healthily cope with real life and all it throws at me
My denial--me thinking that I’m in control--has kept me from realizing how powerless I am and how unmanageable my life became
I admit that my life has been severely disturbed by video games
I accept that I am helpless before the power of gaming
I admit that I need help and cannot do it on my own
I accept the fact that I cannot game like other people
I accept the fact that I must stop gaming (phew that’s the hardest statement I had to make)

 

POWERLESSNES

I am not able to control my gaming sessions
I have no power to put limitations on how much time I am playing
I play games on and on, even though I don’t want to. I want to stop but can’t
I don’t have the willpower to stop playing

 

UNMANAGIBILITY

I my life and my time becomes unmanageable when I start gaming
I neglect all the areas (SOCIAL, MUSIC, SELF GROWTH) that are important to me.
I neglect all high vibration responsibilities and only do the bare minimum of what’s required of me

 

To move to the next step I declare that:

HONESTY: I am honest about my addiction. I admit that I am addict and that I have a problem
OPEN MINDEDNESS: I am open minded about trying new things, meeting people who are also struggling, and get outside of my comfort zone
WILLINGNESS: I am ready to end this addiction

Adeline
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I want to overcome gaming addiction

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.
I've lost many years of my life to gaming addiction
I want to quit gaming
I admit that I need help to overcome this addiction and lead a productive life

santiagoezeq
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Paso 1

Admito que uso la computadora para esconder el dolor

Que vivo en un mundo de fantasias

No ppuedo afrontar la vida real

La negacion no me deja ver como mi vida perdio manejo y poder.

Tengo que admitir que mi vida esta perturbada

Tengo que admitir que estoy indefenso ante el poder que causan los juegos y las redes sociales

Hay que admitir el pequeno factor de que no puedo jugar y usar redes sociales como las otras personas

Y me tengo que rendir al inevitable factor de que tengo que dejar la computadora

Im powerless becouse i cant control the time im in the pc

Im powerless becouse i dont want to play games or see videos and i cannot stop

Im powerless becouse im cant stop when i want it

 

Im ummanegeable because i cant study normaly because of my adiccion

Im unmanegeable because in my real life im dont have friends and y dont have any job

 

Im admit that my life is out of control, and im and addict

the solucion is: honestidad, mente abierta y complacencia

thanks a lot! one step complet

 

 

 

 

Matt65
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Unmanageablity

I'm self employed, so not only does the game cost me money up front, it also costs me big time in lost productivity.  

typo
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I admit that I'm powerless

I admit that I'm powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable because of my game addiction. I usually start playing late at night and go on up until 3 or 4 in the morning. This has cost me, above all, lots of time that I could have spent with my family and friends. I often find myself thinking that I can control how long I would keep playing but in fact this denial keep me from seeing how powerless and unmanageable my life has become. I accept that I'm helpless before the power of gaming, that I cannot game like other people and that I must make surrender to the inevitable fact that I must stop gaming. I've neglected my studies, my family and friends too long and I'm wiling to sacrifice gaming to slowly but firmly take this all back.

MrM
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Step 1

I've been involved with mmo fantasy games since they were text based.  I've quit for years at a time, but I keep getting sucked back in, most recently by a phone game called Celtic Heroes. It starts off casually, then it takes over your life and you're neglecting everything to play a stupid game. I know I can't play casually and have to just stop. I haven't deleted my characters yet, but know it's what I need to do. 

thatoneguyfromCO
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Step 1

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

I do admit that I am powerless over my addiction to spending and this video game

How my live has become unmanageable! 

Not doing house work

not being focused on my work

not being there for my family (son and granddaughter) when they say I am not listening to them. Which it's true..I am always thinking about my next move. 

playing every second, while waiting for appointments, staying late at work "saying I am working late" going on Sunday's not 100% work related. 

Neglecting my love, neglecting my animals

smoking and gaming Is like cocaine and alcohol

Honesty & Acceptance 

being honest with myself... I want to be my best with my family...I have messed up and i realized this.

acceptance of facing my fear and  abstain from neglecting my duties and a soulful human being!

glittergal
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ADDICTED TO ONLINE SLOT MACHINES

i am addicted to online slot machines, and Im so ashamed to admit this,but I am going to face this addiction with prayers and a willingness to stop. My addiction has put us into bankrupcy. I have hidden my addiction from my husband and family. Whether I can ever admit this to my husband I dont know..I am just now admitting my addiction to myself after finding this forum.

 

glittergirl

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Step 1

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I have used gaming to avoid fear, vulnerability, and intimacy.

I have used it so I could escape from being social.  It has prevented me from meeting people, from developing relationships, from experiencing new things.

I accept that I cannot game like other people.

 

POWERLESSNES

 

I have repeatedly failed in controlling and limiting the time I’ve spent on the gaming.  “One more quest”.  “2 hours a day”. 

I tried hiding games from myself for a few weeks to slow down.  “Out of sight, out of mind, I thought”.  Just a few days later I went straight back to it.

I tried getting rid of my console.  I left my PS3 and all the games by a dumpster.  I thought I was done.  But the gaming continued.  I started gaming on my PC.

I have spent over 1,000 hours in Civilization 5, over 500  hours in Oblivion.  There was no reason for me to play the games that much, I had experienced the full game much sooner than that.  Re-playing games when the luster was gone.

Seeking out gamers/streamers online, games that I would want to play.  Watching them for hours.  “One more episode”, “30 more minutes”.  Going right back to them when I have any sort of free time

Having roommates and sneaking into the living rooms late at night so I could isolate and enjoy the games by myself, and not worry about judgment from them.

UNMANAGIBILITY

I have missed out on connections with family and friends.  I’ve told my brothers and Mom that I was “sick” so I could indulge in more gaming by myself.

I have missed work due to wanting an entire day to my self to game.

I have deprived myself of sleep due to gaming, sometimes flip-flopping my sleep schedule to where I was waking up around 1-2 p.m. and playing until 6-7 a.m.  When I was bingeing on Oblivion, I remember experiencing redness and a sharp pain in one of my eyes.  I believe it was due to the continuous staring at the screen.

I lost my ex-girlfriend.  Not directly related to gaming, but I used it as a coping mechanism when we broke up and binged a lot.  Within a few days of breaking up I was gaming.

Either prolonged gaming or frustration from gaming has led to me acting out sexually, often to porn and masturbation.  The immediate gratification of gaming has led to an unrealistic aspect of it in other parts of life.  I lack patience.

BOUNDARIES

No gaming.  No Steam.  No Civ 6, no Banished.

No watching gamers.  Be conscious when going to Youtube or accessing the internet.

No internet past 10 p.m.

Plan my off days and weekends.  I need to connect with people.

Steele
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thank you!

That is a nice one Dwalk77.

You sound exactly like how I was not so long ago. Exactly. I was so out of control back then, it felt horrible, I felt desperate back then. But over time, slowly I was getting control back, step by step. Thank you for sharing this. 

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

CPAtacular
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Step 1

I use gaming to avoid my pain, my feeling of helplessness, my feeling of being lost in this world, the feeling of having no meaning.

I was in denial that I could "control" it, or that I could be a "functional" addict

It affected my work performance, my relationships, my ability to do the "basics" of life.

I am helpless and need help. I can't do this by myself.

I can't game "just a little bit" like others.

I have to stop.

 

 

 

My "poison" the last few years has been iphone games. I'd constantly play, uninstall, swear off, then re-install games. You can never "beat" the games, or feel any sense of completion or satisfaction. I'd literally feel so terrible while playing, but at the same time it was such a physically manifesting high. I thought i could play 5 minutes every hour just to "manage" my feelings and life, but that became more and more. Rinse and repeat the cycle over and over. I thought I had it solved by having my fiancee have a restriction code on the App Store, but I would lie and manipulate to get her to unlock it, and then secretly install a game when she wasn't looking. I accept that I can't "self-control" this away.

When I don't have the games available, I reach into other things that make my life unmangeable just as much - obsessive compulsive behavior around politics, eating junk food, porn, etc. But I always come back to the games. I've used it to "manage" my emotions since I was 12, and I'm now 35. Enough is enough.

 

Justin

 

 

 

Justin

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STEP 1: I admit that I am

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I can't help myself when I play. I get sucked into it, whether that means I spend money without thinking of consequences, ignore everything going on around me when I'm playing, or some mix of those two. Like many others, I normally start playing late at night and finally stop when its 4 AM. I know I'm different when playing socially, but I don't want my relationship with games to be the awful coping mechanism it has become. There are times I go a while without playing at night, but if anything stressful happens, I can go on a spiral that goes on for a few days. It led to me dropping out of college.

I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

GamesOnlyMasked...
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I am an Addict. I have a problem, and I am not strong enough to

I admit that as far back as I can remember, even in the early years of my childhood, I have been addicted to video games.

I admit that I am powerless to control my addiction. Sometimes I think I am able to control it. I can take days, weeks, sometimes even months off, or manage to limit my time, but I am in denial.

I admit that I do not presently have the strength to battle this addiction alone, and that I will never have the strength to battle this addiction alone.

My marriage of 6.5 years, relationship of 8, where I took on a wonderful woman and two small children, who were abandoned for a while by their father, who had physically and verbally abused the woman who would become my wife and these amazing children.

I tried to hide my pain over my own abusive childhood with video games, and I tried to hide my addiction from her as long as I could. I was coping with the loss of my first serious relationship, a girl who loved me, but I never really loved back. She got pregnant a few months before we broke up. My gaming addiction pushed her away, anx when she forced me to turn it off, I abused her for it, verbally and physically. Less than 2 weeks after the breakup, my dad, my main abuser, died, suddenly. I was lost, wallowing in pain. Drinking helped a little, drugs helped a little, but nothing helped as much as gaming.

My wife tried to help me through these difficult times...

She gave me love. She gave me respect. She gave me understanding. She told herself that the games was a phase as I healed. And we would fight. And I'd get better for a time. Then I would fall back. And the cycle of violence and abuse would begin all over again. I would blame what I did on her, and twist it until we both believed it and she forgave me.

This went on for years. It was only her. Even when she was pregnant with our son, I abused her physically, verbally, and emotionally. When he was born it got better for a while. But as time went on it fell back into the cycle.

I started abusing our children. Physically, verbally, emotionally. I intimidated and manipulated them into letting me do what I wanted, to game. To leave me alone to game. My wife had 3 surgeries during our relationship. C-Section with our son, Breast Implants after she was done breast feeding to help her confidence and I now realize to hopefully entice me away from the computers and consoles, and removal of Endometriosis. And I was too busy gaming to take care of the house or the children.

I got in an argument with my 14 year old stepson and physically forced him to his room. And when he left I tried again, but he fought me, we fell, and I crashed into and put a hole in the wall.

I told my now 12 year old stepson that his opinion didn't matter so many times that he actually believed it. He believed it was worthless and felt suicidal.

Through my actions I taught my now 6 year old son that the only way to spend time with dad is to play games with him, but be sure not to want to play a different game or do something other than what dad wants to do.

I destroyed 4 beautiful people and countless beautiful friendships over 8 years due to my addiction, and another one before that.

I don't think I'm truly a bad person. But I made many bad choices to protect and further my addiction.

I am an addict. I have a problem. And I am powerless against it.

I'm not ok. And that's ok. I just need to get a little bit better every day.

Ritchy
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Welcome GOMTP

Welcome GOMTP, glad you found us here.  My sponsor always told me, We're not bad people trying to get good, we're sick people needing to get well.  I made many horrible choices when I was in active addiction.  They affected my family and caused pain and regret.  It's so good to be free of that insanity.  Sometimes some of my choices are still poorly made, but mostly my life is vastly improved.  I'd be glad to talk some time.

Rich_101
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Hi - I hope to find some

Hi - I hope to find some support here as my second marriage begins to break apart for the same reasons as the first- my need to game excessively and to dedicate all my free time to it. I am a 36 year old man. I have one son from my first marriage who I see every weekend. 

I admit i am powerless to stop this- again and again I fall into the cycle. 

My habit is unmanagible, out of control and crazy. I am scared of my brain. If i go cold turkey after two weeks or so I start to feel so irritable and I wont admit it but my subconscious pushes me to do anything to break up/ make any excuse to find a place to play non stop. Blizzard;s hearthstone is my drug of choice and I cannot abandon it- no matter what i try! 

 

I am willing and openminded to try to stop. 

Habits maketh man.

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