&: I lost everything in my life, because of this game...

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drevin
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If I did not become aware, I

If I did not become aware, I could of been down the same path. I have 4 kids, young and a wife and I was playing 6 hours of College Football every day on line. From when I got home until 2 to 3 in the morning. At work the game is all I wld think about. I would browse internet sites on how I could find out better plays, join forums, check my stats on the EA website, made an excel sheet of the stats of my games, etc. It was ridiculous. I read an article one day while at waiting in the waiting room at the dr. office and it must of been left there for me, because thereafter, I quit. I had an awakening experience and quit. This was 3 to 4 years ago. Nowadays, I have complete self control of my gaming desires and I choose when I play. You have to become aware, Awareness is the key to everything. It is the seed. Think of what Goethe once said and maybe that can help any who are struggling become aware.. "Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least." GOETHE. I read this everyday along with this. " Continuous effort-- not strength or intelligence--is the key to unlocking our potential" WINSTON CHURCHILL

Red
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HOLY CRUD... Well, I read

HOLY CRUD... Well, I read your story 2 days ago and it really really spoke into my life. It was as if it just grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and said WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? Anyway, I have been playing an MMORPG called RS (I know I know its lame) for about 3 hours each day for the last 1.5 years. I always thought I had an addiction problem but looking at yours and the other people on this forum I now believe I was pretty lucky actually. That being: I never lost sleep over this game (never played later then 10:30pm and always got at least 8 hours sleep), always showered/brushed teeth (I like keeping a clean image :P), have a 9-5 job which I'm doing really well at, I got my license as soon as I could (like a month after my 17th birthday so almost a year ago), I go to a youth group at my church every friday night and have been since I was 15 and I play sport each week. So yes RS wasn't affecting my real life a whole deal. The thing that I was getting annoyed at though is being at university I noticed that it was taking up a lot of my study time and I would become very stressed trying to get assignments in on due date. So sorry for saying so much but I want to thank you because your story really inspired me to give up this game for good.

Xandtar
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Good for you, Red. Good

Good for you, Red. Good luck. :|

Leveling in Real Life

futuregary
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EQKirzan wrote: Ok... first
EQKirzan wrote:

Ok... first i would like to say that i don't wanna be mean here or anything. I'm a EQ Player. been playing for 2 years now. I'm somewhat "addicted" the game itself is really fun, *important notice*: Just like any game!. I see people addicted to WC3, MOHAA, CS, etc... I'm a gamer, and I know that I have a life too. Right when you started to bring a pee pot in the room was the moment when you should've realized that it was too much... I didn't read the whole story, but I saw some words about court and things, it got pretty bad as i see... but I still don't see how someone can break up a life... for a game?! Anyway, as long as i understand myself i'm ok. I just don't understand.... oh and by the way, this is not addiction, this is obsession.

Go ahead and spin it anyway you want it. This story is what really hooked me into ending my "obsession" (addiction). Technically (if you read the main OLGA page), playing videos games compulsively and obsessively is classified as addiction. The first step to ending this addiction is admitting it exists. If you want to end it, admit you have it. If you don't, why are you even here anyway?

futuregary
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Red, I've played RuneScape,

Red, I've played RuneScape, too. Frankly, most people frown on it. I think it's one of the best MMOs out there. I started to realize there are much better games to be played, but whatever floats your boat. I don't consider 3 hours a day much of an addiction. You obviously like it a lot (I never played it QUITE that much), but we all have out Achilles heels. Mine, for example, is the Total War strategy series. On some weekends, I'd play from about... oh, 9am to about... (this is the sad part) actually about 4pm. I'd stop for lunch and few other things, but those take up about 30 mins apiece. That's 7 hours. And then when I got back from church at 8 or 9pm, I'd play until about... 11pm. That's 9-10 hours. On Saturday. Sunday I didn't go to church. I'd play then from about 8am till 10pm. Take away about an hour or two for meals. That's about 12 fricking hours. Lately, I don't play as much. I still play a lot. Similar to the same time frame, only a lot more breaks (going to movies, doing yard work, watching movies with the family) or even using the computer for non-gaming activities (IMing and surfing the Web). Anyway, enough with the life story. The point is your fondness of this game is overcomable and even controllable. Try and unplug your computer or leave it off until all your studying is done. Then you can go ahead and do whatever you want. Go to movies, take walks, ride your bike, or even take a drive. Maybe even just sit on your bed and just talk to God. I find that helps me a lot.

misterbooks
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These games are part of the

These games are part of the emerging and ever-changing occult, or "hidden" ways, that open the door to spiritual forces of evil. They are as enticing as cheese to a mouse that is placed on the trap. There is no addiction or obsession that that does not have at its root core the malevolent spiritual power that seeks to manipulate, intimidate, and finally dominate our lives. It is only is name and power of Jesus Christ that these things can be overcome and we can be set free.

lizwool
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Thank you for your reply.

Thank you for your reply. We are here to support each other through this. Liz

What you do may seem insignificant, but it's important that you do it. - Mahatma Gandhi

sandi64
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'So true Meridious....

'So true Meridious....

roofio007
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Hey Ive been playin games

Hey Ive been playin games for most of my life when i was 5, i got the ps1, then ps2 and now ps3 i m currently addicted to killzone2, fifa, and LBP i keep revolving around them 3 games and dont do anytihng in life i stopped play for HSC, and SC, but now at uni, i cant seem to do it whilst "doin assignemnts" at uni i am cruising the killzone website and other sites, ive even entered tornaments to start to play competatively, which consumes more time. 2day i ve noticed i have an addiction and found this site. please help. I dont want to fail uni

ax2099
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I have had similar

I have had similar experiences to many people on these forums. I started playing video games during the Super Nintendo era and begged my dad to get me a Playstation. For Christmas when I was 13 he did, knowing then that it was likely to become a problem due to my high level of ADHD. At first it wasn't an issue, however when I got into high school I would use the 45 minutes after school to play games when I wasn't supposed to, then when dad got home I would lie about it if he asked. I started to ignore my dog's needs, causing a lot of friction between my dad and I. It got to the point where my dad had found another home for him because I wasn't taking care of him. I cried, pleaded, and begged him to reconsider. After extensive assurances that I would repeat the same choices we kept the dog. Fast forward 6 years: I am a 22 year old student at a local university. My tuition is completely covered by the state and I am on my way to becoming an elementary school teacher. I have not stopped playing video games, and my insistence that I can control my urges has brought me much pain. It cost me the most stable and balanced relationship I have ever had, it lowered my grades, and for all purposes has stunted my emotional and metal growth. A week and a half ago I received word that the state was going to pull my aid due to my poor performance in school this past year. It hit me at that moment that the reason I had done so poorly was that I had spent the time playing video games instead of focusing on things that really mattered. I was addicted, have been addicted ever since I moved out and free reign over my actions. After talking about this with my family I decided that no matter how I rationalized it video games and school could not exist in the same sphere. That I could not play video games and achieve my goal of graduating and traveling abroad to teach. As a result I sold my Xbox 360, Gamecube, Gaming Computer, Playstation, and all of my games, putting the money from those items into my savings and bills. I haven't played in 8 days now. All I have to do now is log into my World of Warcraft account and give all my things to my (former) guildmates. I am waiting for my best friend to come over so he can be there when I do it and hold me accountable. After that I will (in front of him) cancel my account. I know there are other things that get in my way when it comes to school however removing video games from my life removed the largest distraction. I Hope this message finds you all well

ax2099
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I know how that can feel

I know how that can feel roofio. I was in a similar situation except I played WoW, Left 4 Dead, and Killing Floor. It got to the point where it hit me that I could not have the two things; in this case uni and video games, coexist in my life at the same time. Something that may help is if you try and do homework where there is no computer access. That has helped me a lot because even when I don't play I can search for technology news to no end. Hope this helps and this message finds you well.

Znome
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Tommy I doubt that you will

Tommy I doubt that you will ever see this message. I have a few things on my mind about what you said.

First off ,all do respect to you,I'm going to say your wife really wasn't worth it to begin with. She left you behind in your time of need. Seems to me everything was OK as long as you made life for her the way she saw fit. Once it was bad she left and found someone new. To me that's low. That's lower than low. I have seem many things far worst than you coming home and playing games all night. Women get the crap kicked out of them and stay with their mates threw something as terrible as that, but she leaves because you ignored her to play video games. This may sound mean ,but there are to many women out there for you to feel like that towards someone like that. Understand I'm not saying you shouldn't feel bad about the babies. To be honest I'm not totally convinced that gaming the way you did is all that bad. I'm thinking to each is his own. That's my 2 cents.

Desire to Stop
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Znome, if you aren't kidding

Znome, if you aren't kidding (and I hope you are), I would say that perhaps you may want to evaluate your own game play. I would say that perhaps you lack a sense of proportion, and may have an inability to think straight.

So I decided to set up a little pot in my computer room so I wouldn't have to get up when I needed to go pee.

"Casual" gamers do not do this. I have a bathroom next to my computer office so I never had to resort to this, but I knew other addicts like myself who literally kept containers, soda bottles, etc handy so they wouldn't have to leave their computers to attend to the most basic of bodily functions.

We used to have a joke in one of my guilds, "L2Catheter!" whenever someone suggest they needed to use a toilet.

What I quoted is just one aspect of indicators that someone has long since left the ability to choose if they play or not, and is in the realm of being under control of something far more powerful than they are. The wife is not at fault for leaving, far from it.

Again, I'm hoping you are kidding, but it's hard to see it as a joke in good taste.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

gsingjane
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Actually, Desire, I'm almost

Actually, Desire, I'm almost sure that Znome's post was sincerely meant. Let me give you an example of the kind of disordered thinking we are dealing with:

A dear friend of mine also has a gaming-addicted son - a big, 17 year old boy. He's a friend (sorta) of my own gamer son. For reasons I won't go into, my friend feels powerless to interfere with her son's gaming, so the boy games, literally, 24/7 - no school, no job, no chores, no nothin'.

Well, one day last spring he came downstairs for breakfast and something just set him off, he was acting out to an extreme degree and, in a fit of annoyance, my friend severed the house internet connection. Her son physically attacked her - beat her up! - and she had to call the police. They came and took him away for a psych evaluation (among other things) because he was acting so strange.

I told my son about this - thinking that perhaps because he knew the people involved, it would make an impression - and do you know, he told me that it was my friend's own fault! That she never should have severed the connection and that she deserved it! He also suggested that the proper thing for her to have done, rather than call the cops, was to hit her son back - to get into a brawl with her 17 year old son!

I just sat there with my mouth open. How could somebody be so disconnected from reality, from any sense of what was really the right thing to do?

It seems to me that many gamers are really living in a kind of alternate reality, that the imperatives of the game and the addiction itself make all sorts of attitudes and behaviors permissible or acceptable, whereas in real life they'd be looked at as strange and deviant. So, I am not at all surprised that a gamer would say it is the neglected wife's "own fault" for leaving after years of neglect and abuse.

Jane in CT

Znome
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To Desire to Stop Znome, if

To Desire to Stop

Znome, if you aren't kidding (and I hope you are), I would say that perhaps you may want to evaluate your own game play. I would say that perhaps you lack a sense of proportion, and may have an inability to think straight.

I don't understand. How is that not thinking straight? From what I can tell she didn't work. He paid all the bills. As soon as that wasn't happening she left. Did he not say this? I sure the vow she read said something along the lines of for richer or poorer....If this is true why did she leave? Why didn't she work harder to fight for a person that paid all the bills. That gave her the option to not work. These are the questions I asked myself. What I came up with is what I posted the first time.

So I decided to set up a little pot in my computer room so I wouldn't have to get up when I needed to go pee.

"Casual" gamers do not do this. I have a bathroom next to my computer office so I never had to resort to this, but I knew other addicts like myself who literally kept containers, soda bottles, etc handy so they wouldn't have to leave their computers to attend to the most basic of bodily functions.

I tend to agree this is a bit much.

What I quoted is just one aspect of indicators that someone has long since left the ability to choose if they play or not, and is in the realm of being under control of something far more powerful than they are.

I agree

The wife is not at fault for leaving, far from it.

I believe I'm the only one left in the world that took my marriage vows to heart. The fact is Tommy was in trouble. His wife left him in that state. I just don't feel sorry for the wife only the kids.

Again, I'm hoping you are kidding, but it's hard to see it as a joke in good taste.

It's not a joke. I call them as I see them.

Znome
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  To gsingjane Actually,

To gsingjane

Actually, Desire, I'm almost sure that Znome's post was sincerely meant.

Yes I meant every word. The problem the wife couldn't see her own imperfection. So selfishly she left. If people were able to realize just how messed there really are...they wouldn't be so quick to judge.

Let me give you an example of the kind of disordered thinking we are dealing with:

A dear friend of mine also has a gaming-addicted son - a big, 17 year old boy. He's a friend (sorta) of my own gamer son. For reasons I won't go into, my friend feels powerless to interfere with her son's gaming, so the boy games, literally, 24/7 - no school, no job, no chores, no nothin'.

This was the beginning of the end.

Well, one day last spring he came downstairs for breakfast and something just set him off, he was acting out to an extreme degree and, in a fit of annoyance, my friend severed the house internet connection. Her son physically attacked her - beat her up! - and she had to call the police. They came and took him away for a psych evaluation (among other things) because he was acting so strange.

Without knowing the full truth. I'm guessing something was already eating at her son way before this happened. Again without knowing the full truth sounds like she is a single mom. The boy is ****ed about that. I know the feeling.

I told my son about this - thinking that perhaps because he knew the people involved, it would make an impression - and do you know, he told me that it was my friend's own fault! That she never should have severed the connection and that she deserved it! He also suggested that the proper thing for her to have done, rather than call the cops, was to hit her son back - to get into a brawl with her 17 year old son!

Again with knowing everything I'm guessing your son was closer to the situation than you know. He only responded out of an immature mind.

I just sat there with my mouth open. How could somebody be so disconnected from reality, from any sense of what was really the right thing to do?

I need to know if you are talking about your son or the friend?

It seems to me that many gamers are really living in a kind of alternate reality, that the imperatives of the game and the addiction itself make all sorts of attitudes and behaviors permissible or acceptable, whereas in real life they'd be looked at as strange and deviant.

I have learned a long time ago that all people are messed up one way or another. I really don't care enough about what people think. Then again I never have been a people pleaser. What is your definition of real life? The thing about that is it only applies to the people that have or want the same definition of "REAL LIFE". This to me is a major failure of man.

So, I am not at all surprised that a gamer would say it is the neglected wife's "own fault" for leaving after years of neglect and abuse.

I mean come on hardly anything Tommy did was life threatening to the wife. My mother was beat within a inch of her life by the father because he like to drink. Yet she stayed with him till he died. I'm sorry but what Tommy did to me I just can't understand why his wife wouldn't have stayed and fought for what they had if he did the things he did.

Gaming has nothing to do with it for me. I make no excuses for who I am. I know who I am as a gamer. I just don't get why Tommy's wife left when my mother stayed. So what I posted before for me has meaning.

I guess need to understand why your version of real life is something that's worth not missing.

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'It seems to me that many

'It seems to me that many gamers are really living in a kind of alternate reality, that the imperatives of the game and the addiction itself make all sorts of attitudes and behaviors permissible or acceptable, whereas in real life they'd be looked at as strange and deviant...'

Jane, this is so true, and took me a while to understand. At one stage, I was actually questioning my own standards/beliefs of what is acceptable behaviour for an adult male heading toward 40.

For Anons, the task is: Keep in mind Desire to Stop's line about addicts, moving lips and lies; understand the contortions in logic the addict indulges in to justify their behaviour, and stand by your knowledge of what behaviour is acceptable to you.

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Hello, Let me start with

Hello,

Let me start with first saying who I am, I am a 23 year old ex-pro-gamer.. yes not an avid gamer. Pro-gamer, I used to play a game called Starcraft Brood War (The same company that makes WOW - another very addictive game, thankfully I never played). StarCraft is an online RTS game.

I first started playing the game in 1999 online, casually. I would play 8-10 hours a week. As the years progressed I started taking the game very serious in about 2003ish (Grade 11/12 in higschool). I would play 100+ hours a week, easily, I would play with Koreans, every night - who were the best at the game. And because of the time difference I would be up playing until 5am on the regular. I learned to speak "Konglish" which is slang for broken Korean. I became emancipated I would play non stop. I would play in money tournaments, play with a Canadian team that would send players to Korea to play professionally. I lived and breathed this game, I would train as an Olympian would train for the olympics.

During this time I was missing out on so much, but i wouldnt accept it. I know I was very irratible, easily fustratable. I think my biggest problem was my inability for patience, it was like crack, all I wanted was the rush of the game. The excitement of playing in big games.

Eventually, after realizing so much time past and I missed so much adventures with my friends I became aware that I had an addiction... but I couldnt stop! Finally - and thankfully my parents couldn't tolerate me anymore and took the power cord (which connects the PC to the plug) and would give it to me only on weekends and monitor my usage. Although I tried to sneak the cord, buy it, try to cheat and swindle to get that cord... I nonetheless had my gaming time reduced to half of it was before. In the beginning it was really hard, I was a really miserable guy. Then after a time I was able to slowly accept that I have the control... and one random friday- I ejected the CD, looked at it and I said outloud (yes... I did). "Best-friend, this is our last weekend together then we are finished".. I Played the whole weekend, and on Sunday, I broke the disk. It was pure adrenaline and impulse. The addiction that made me impulsive actually worked for me.

I did go back several times and rebuy the game.... one point buying the game... bringing it home and breaking it. It was a constant internal struggle. I didnt even trust myself to return it. I felt like a really addict, after buying the game and breaking it, I started feeling really nauseated and sick. It was instant withdrawl. I probably bought the game 7-8 times within the first year of not playing.

I wish I really knew the severity of the addiction, but at that time, there was no help. I dont think there was ever a belief that games are addicting... I used to play all the games, Diablo etc. With such a ferocity that it would make the casual gamer sick... and I was one of thousands.

I didnt play the game for 3 years after, but during the first year I mustve thought of the game at least once a day, the second year a little less and by the 3rd year I was able to really realize the severity of my addiction. The countless hours and games accumulated (over 10,000 games easily)...

I decided at that point, I have to watch myself, almost like a recovering alcoholic. That it wasn't that game specifically, but my personality... it's myself that I have to watch. And never let myself be lost in that game again. So thankfully when Blizzard annouced WOW (which I knew would be as addicting, even more so than Diablo) I couldnt play it. I couldnt get near it.

Now 5 years not playing, I still think about it... it's hard to believe, but I still do. I have played other games, and I will probably always play video games. But I watch myself very carefully, I have to.

I want to add lastly, that what makes games so addictive, in my oinion, is the stimulation it causes... when you first play a game, it's 100% cognitive, learning the game, developing fluidity-as you become more serious you transfer that to your instinctual side ... and as you progress (developing hotkeys, memorizing instinctively parts about the game and certain reactions) you end up using both; instinctual and cognitive, progressively using more instint. This is shown in a national geographic show about pro-starcraft gamers, even featuring one of the guys I used to paly with from Montreal... I think it's called "National geographic starcraft documentary" or something.

So my advice is, if you have a child that's addicted... treat it as a drug addiction, because it is... you need to take steps, yes it will be hard in the beginning but it's the only way.
If my parents didnt do what they did, I would still be playing...

Now I have a great career job, a wonderful girlfriend - great real friends, and no longer the insane mood swings I did when I played...

It's an addiction that you have to always remember, never forget and always keep in check.
You are never fully cured, and you have to remember that.

There's an old Japanese saying, "a man isn't judged on who he was, or what he did. But he is judged in the room he is in"

Desire to Stop
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Znome, speaking frankly, the

Znome, speaking frankly, the more you post, the clearer I am that you don't yet realize the problem may center in your mind. You can call that "rational" all you like, and maybe in time we will see where your best thinking gets you. Maybe not. Maybe all is well; more gaming is in order for sure.

I would also say there may be some tremendous thinking errors going on if you think women who are not being beaten have nothing to complain about and therefore should stay in their marriages no matter what other intolerable behavior is going on. That is the self-serving rationale of the active malady.

Jane, so sorry to hear about your friend's son, and your son. Yup, after a time our addict life seems the only normal one. This is the place where gaming addiction ceases to be the butt of jokes--the behavior of the teenage son upon having his "source" interrupted is not so different from how people respond when their drugs are cut off.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

gsingjane
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What made me so sad about my

What made me so sad about my friend's story was - first, that such a thing could happen to her and, second, my own son's response to it. To add a little bit of detail to the story, he has been homeschooled for a number of years. The area in which they live doesn't have terrific or safe schools, and my friend felt that it would be better for him and his siblings to receive a home education. She and her husband have a disagreement about the amount of time their son spends on games, and her husband feels the son has to "get it out of his system." She defers to her husband (who is also a gamer, BTW) so that's why their son gets to play non-stop to the exclusion of all else. One thing I know is that, whether she made mistakes or not (and we all have as parents!) she has her son's best interests always first in mind, and in fact has sacrificed a great deal to do what's best for him.

I was shocked and frankly a bit scared by my son's response to the story. It shows me how deep in denial an addicted gamer can be... that he felt that someone's physically attacking his own mother might be a rational or understandable response to being cut off from the game. Nobody else that has heard this story has had a response anything like that, that's for sure! But it's at least partly about altered perceptions and, really, morality.

I guess someone who sincerely believes that "it's all relative" and there's "no such thing as good and bad" might have trouble with a story like this. Most people, in fact I'd say the vast majority of human beings, do believe that assaulting a parent is a "wrong" thing to do, certainly if self defense or some other compelling circumstance isn't involved. We do tend to live by a shared moral code, a shared sense of what is right and wrong, whether that springs from religion, or ethics, or just trying to avoid doing things they'll send you to jail for. But I find that, the more I get into this, the true addict basically figures out a way to justify any behavior at all. I steal money from grandma's pocketbook? I lie repeatedly to the folks who love me? I neglect the people who depend on me? Hey, no problem... gaming comes first and there's just no getting through that shell of denial - not until the addict is ready.

Jane in CT

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I would appreciate it if

I would appreciate it if people would ignore Znome's posts in this thread.

Thank you.

Leveling in Real Life

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dude, really appreciate your

dude, really appreciate your sharing ur exp... i felt sad for myself as well, when you reminisced the warmth you had with your loved ones... as a sucker i am, i haven't got any girlfriend at all, still have family issues, still feeling really lost... at 24, i searching recovery for the past when i've left out a big part of my social life in exchange of these virtual community w/c just didn't really help at all... ur story, brings a tug away from this struggle vs. my "gaming" addictions... wish u the best in claiming back ur real life..

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Wow. I'm speechless. Tommy's

Wow. I'm speechless. Tommy's story is more gripping than best seller books these days. I was completely attached to the story throughout. It didn't even cross my mind that it might be faked. Upon further reflection, I highly doubt that the story is faked because of all the realistic details and the way he describes the sequence of events that only a real person or a rediculously good writer could write.

I don't really care about its authenticity anyways since the real importance of the post is the power to provoke thought and drum up so much discussion even after 6 years. I'm guessing what i've said has probably been addressed by various people already, but I can't really read through 6 years of posts.

Anyways, the whole reason I am taking this addiction thing seriously and getting involved deeper with a community is because of that story I just read. So tommy, if you're out there, I hope you well and if you're a grandmaster fiction writer, then thanks for intentionally creating the spark of change for so many of us.

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Wow man......I am so sorry

Wow man......I am so sorry to hear of your losses man....I was and sorta still am in the same situation as you were. Me and my wife separated after 11 years of marriage due to growing apart which I relate to me playing World of Warcrack till 4am every day. Thank god I got my head screwed on straight and we are back together today and working on stuff. I am new here so I am gonna post my story now. I hope things are better today for you and continue to get better Tommy!

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I started playing wow in

I started playing wow in 2005 very casually...a few hours here and there, nothing serious. Quit for a while at a mid level. Girlfriend moved away for work and hours spent in the game exploded from 10 a week or so to 25 a week or so.

Had some success at work but hated the job. The long distance thing with the girlfriend wasn't working. I hit 70 and tried to get into raiding...I failed miserably, people made fun of me, and I think that's really where it became dysfunctional for me. I needed to prove to these people that I was smart, capable, etc, not really sure why.

Hours in the game exploded again from 25 or so to probably 60. Leaving work early and staying up until 3am to perfect my characters. Stopped returning my girlfriends phone calls with consistency. Ate fast food and stopped exercising. Gained a solid 70 pounds.

Somehow managed to address the career change and apply to a few PhD programs in economics. Got into 1 program after a prolonged waitlist period in June. Went to move there and girlfriend pitched a fit because of distance. I caved which, in hindsight, was a huge mistake, and moved to her city (which was very expensive and where I had no job) which was another huge mistake. Sort of half looked for a job and got several decent offers, which I found stupid excuses to reject.

Time in game moved up again, this time from 60 to about 100. I couldn't take breaks unless it was actively doing something. Couldn't even take breaks for sex a lot of the time, much less eating or exercising or anything of interest.

A few months later, girlfriend dumps me. I was filled with rage...I gave up my biggest life's dream to be with her, and she threw it away because of a few months of excessive gaming. I can see why she did it from a purely materialistic perspective, but I thought we had so much more than that.

Got back together with her promised to cut back on gaming and did so. She treated me terribly once we were back togehter, didn't even get me a christmas gift. I broke it off. I was at a complete low point in my life - no job, no girlfriend, no real life friends, savings draining fast all for what amounted to male dolls in a video game. I sold the account and applied to some graduate schools for the following years. Got into a bad one. Lost about 70 pounds.

A few more months of on again off again with the ex. Then after one split she hooks up with a random guy. Total self loathing at this point. Cut her off completely, started playing the game again, obsessively leveled 1-80 over the course of about 10 days.

Graduate school started. Was too busy with school to play much, just did dailies here and there. Then stress of finals set in and playtime interfered a bit with finals but I made it through with a strong GPA somehow.

However, over break my playtime has been absurd. Found a good guild, and I played every day from noon to 4am...stopping only to get fast food once per day. Feeling a ton of self loathing and knowing how dysfunctional this is. Still raging over the breakup a year after the fact. Got into the guild, the top on realm, that had previously rejected and made fun of me, and was their main tank - arguably the most important position in a raid, felt confident, capable, and generally potent.

Then I checked out my guild's website where they talked about their personal lives. All but 1 were obese (two of them morbidly so), only 3/14 adults had full time jobs (and they were crappy jobs at that), most were single or marginally attached, and most of them were going nowhere in life. I looked at personal info on other guild's websites and pretty much found the same things...guys in their 20s, 30s and 40s with no jobs, few relationships, obese, and generally a lot of failures in life. I put 2 and 2 together.

I haven't been back since and I want to stop completely and develop a new life.

In hindsight, I dind't really lose that much to the game, but could have. I lost a shallow, materialistic girlfriend who I wanted to ditch anyways, and I could have worked for the 9 months of downtime between when I applied to graduate school and when I got in. Still, I could have learned a new language, gotten super fit, made money, re-established romantic relationships with new people, read a book, hell written a book, or done a thousand other constructive things with my time. I feel rage at myself and my ex, self loathing for all the wasted time, helplessness, and regret. I don't want to go back.

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Wonderful share.  You're

Wonderful share. You're story will be found inspirational to others on the site, Bored.

Be very proud of yourself. :)

-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-

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Nice share, Bo!  Gratz on

Nice share, Bo! Gratz on the insights you gained. I hope you can work the steps and put your huge gifts to the tasks of this world. Keep coming back!

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Hey Tommy, can you give

Hey Tommy, can you give inform us on how your doing now :D?

I red ur story it touched me man... I really hope it's better now, do you see your kids more these days??

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Tommy's not here

Tommy's not here anymore.

But his story remains important.

Leveling in Real Life

firemagnet
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hello all, firemagnet again.

This comment has been moved here.

Needtobreak
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Wow, that has helped me open

Wow, that has helped me open my eyes to the addiction that I have..I am removing my game program at once! I cried when I read your story, I am so sorry that had happened to you. I lost my mom and father now trying to build from what is left in my life. That story, is so touching and opened my eyes to whats really going on. I now know why I play my game so much, I miss having a family. I want to thank you from the deepest part of my heart, your helping people by sharing that story and I want you to know that people are still reading it!

Thank you

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I believe Tommy's story. I

I believe Tommy's story.

I know I can't play RPG/MMORPG games and yet I did anyway. The first one was MajorMUD, a text-based BBS game. My new roommate was playing it and I used to make fun of him for all the time and emotion he spent on it. Out of boredome one day, I went in and started up a character for s***s and giggles. Next thing I know, I'm hooked. I ran scripts for the game on my company's Server to level my character. I'd check in on its progress when I should have been doing other things. It caused me to become so distracted that I got laid off of the best job I ever had. The only thing that stopped me was the loss of my computer.

I swore off RP games after that. that was 1997-2000. 2005 I saw a free trial for WoW. And I had the hardware to run it. 3 years later I had lost my career and most of my friends/girlfriends. 3 level 80 toons, one decked out in the best Raid gear at the time. Pretty hardcore. I stopped taking care of my dog so my house smelt like pee and crap. I stayed in my office with the door closed, ate pizza, drank a 2-liter of soda everyday and about 2-3 packs of cigarettes. I lost my job and rightfully wasn't able to get unemployment because of my poor work habits.(not showing up, not following up, neglecting clients..etc.)

I went back to live at home with my Mom, at age 41. Fun stuff. I got there and stopped playing the game primarily because the game, in my addicts mind, had become too soft and "casual".

In June of last year I started my own company, got it up and running and moved out in September. I picked up another MMORPG called Aion. A korean grind version of WoW. Well, this is March and I just got out of a crisis unit for attempted suicide. My business is done, my business relationships are in disrepair and again I haven't seen my friends in months. Admitting this to anyone other than my psychiatrist and professionals is just too embarassing for words.

How do I explain to someone that I get addicted to 3-D avatars like some people get addicted to substances?

Now I'm doing better. I spent 6 days in the unit, got started on happy pills and start counseling next Monday. I deleted WoW off my Hard drive this past Sunday and uninstalled Aion today. I'm thoroughly disgusted with myself with how I've let these types of games ruin my life.

thanks for reading.

Desire to Stop
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Troll--what are you 12 or

Troll--what are you 12 or 13? Sorry, we've seen better names.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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Tommy, Thank you so much for

Tommy,

Thank you so much for sharing your painful story. My husband has been addicted to many online games. Final Fantasy 11, Everquest and most recently Evony. I shared your story and that of others from this site. He has agreed within the week to walk away from gaming completely. He has asked for my help as he will have a hard time with quiting. That I understand but to hear that he doesn't want your situation to happen to him and that he will change to keep me and our 2 year old son. Made me happy. I don't want to leave him, but it hurts to stay. He looked at me with hurt in his eyes and said that he would be shocked if we could have made it to the end of the year. He knew the pain he was causing me, but the game just seemed to pull him in.

I'm not 100% convinced that he will quit, but at least he's taken the step of admitting he has a problem and wants to quit. I will stand by his side and support him though the tough time he's going to have in quitting, but I'd rather put the effort into him quitting the game and keeping my family than the effort of starting over without him.

I will keep you posted on his progress.

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Tommy, No offense....and I

Tommy,

No offense....and I admit I don't know all the details, but honestly...I think your ex-wife is weak, inconsiderate, and insensitive. We live in a society where women are the "mainstream," the "social click," and empowered with this sense of "princess" fever that leaves them blindsighted to the reality of how to really stand by their man and try to support him through his own trying times and failures. Furthermore, w/ our society so wedding then divorce crazy, it only ends up adding fuel to the flames and likely pushed her on to take such extreme measures.

Look, some men beat their wives. Some men "only" verbally abuse. Some cheat, lie, and the list goes on. But ya know something? So do women. Their no better than, and if she was truly in love with you and your relationship , won't she of fought harder to seek you the help that you needed?

Sounds like you ultimately got your act together, found help, and tried to reconcile, but so typical ....she jumped ship (as many MEN AND WOMEN do today) at the 1st sign of real trouble. So much for those wedding vows that were oh so sacred. Such a shame. I admire you sharing your story, and I'm sorry it ended up as it did. I hope it all happended for ultimately a better cause/reason, and that you've remarried.

Best Wishes,
"Syric"

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Welcome Syric. Is there some

Welcome Syric.

Is there some way that OLGA can help you? Are you someone with a gaming issue, or someone who loves a person with a gaming issue?

Just FYI, we are primarily a recovery community. Social commentary is interesting but tends to become disputatious and does not really promote our mission.

If you need something from our community, whether that is empathy, support, or practical advice on how to deal with the impact of compulsive gaming, feel free to ask. Otherwise...

Jane in CT

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Meridious,    I have read

Meridious,

I have read through your comments they perturb me greatly, furthermore indirectly portray a cry for attention, sorry if this offends, you seem to be throwing a rock in a glass house my friend.

All the best with your own endeavours, however reconsider your approuch when giving advice.

Regards

Tomo

Regards
Tomo

Mario
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Anyone can give advice here.

Anyone can give advice here. But, realize that really all that advice is is a suggestion. I don't have to follow anybodies suggestions if I don't feel like I can use them in anyway. Generally, if your advice is going to hurt someone emotional, please reconsider posting it on the web board. Also, if you have something negative to say, please keep it to yourself. Also, be aware that we are all a little touchy on the website because we haven't been played games in months or years. We are all very sensitive and everyone needs to respect that and no be overly emotional with anyone on the site. Also, please be considerate of your other OGLA friends... nobody needs to be told what to do, but you can suggest anything you like.

Mario

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satchvai wrote: Admitting
satchvai wrote:

Admitting this to anyone other than my psychiatrist and professionals is just too embarassing for words.

How do I explain to someone that I get addicted to 3-D avatars like some people get addicted to substances?

i know what you are talking about satchvai,

the shame of doing something no one can understand has been hard for me.

i have not gone as far down the line as you have (i am 23), but i started at 10, so i feel i have done my "share" of suffering.

nope, this addiction is "ok" in our society as long as we "moderate", and when we don't moderate everyone just looks at us like "why are you doing that?".

good to hear you are getting a grip on your life,

i hope i make it, and i hope you make it:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

Mario
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"normal" people may not

"normal" people may not understand you. However, I understand you. An addiction is something we can't control... can't stop when we want to. It is very easy toi not be able to shut down the computer at a predetermined time. People will slowly give more respect to this illness as time goes on. You have to remember that AA and NA are about drugs, and drugs have been happening for a long long time. Computer were literally just invented. We still don't know the long term effects of gaming on the brain. We have just invented these industries. Be patient, and if nobody said they love you today let me say I love you.

Mario

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Hi well heres my story its

Hi

well heres my story its not as bad as others out there but its caused me alot of problems with my family and relationships.

I play Arcade Games e.g Spin Fever 2, Monopoly Medals, Fantastic Fever 2. The problem is sometimes I can spend a whole day playing them from 9:00 am till 3:00 am is my longest day these games are alot different to MMORPG games they are for winning coins to play Free games at the arcade.

This story is true and I have no reason to lie about this I have gone without lunch,dinner because of my obsession that I will get the Jackpot and yes I believe im lucky and a Jackpot player who always wins sometimes I can lose alot I have alot of credit at the arcades a few grand which keeps me playing I dont spend money there only my time I Have been playing free for over one year and havent spend any money.

The reason im writing this is because I have a lovely girlfriend coming from Japan to live with me in my unit and im scared that I cant stop playing them and she wants me to quit even now im looking at videos on youtube how people have won Jackpots that is how obsessed i am with these games

my question is what should I do if im not spending money only wasting my life away at this place you see I was also doing my business studies course which I shouldve passed but because of these games I stopped attending the course and didn't study I used my job as an excuse so I wouldn't have to go

I am 26 years of age and don't see things changing please let me know what I Should do im scared about having a stable relationship and living in my own place without my family assistance.

Paul

Mario
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Do not fear. Fear is what

Do not fear. Fear is what will eat you alive and end up bringing pain along with it. Have courage. You have found OLGA, and OLGA works for me. Here is how it works: I come to meetings and I post here on the site. Do the 12 steps as listed on the site. Work with a sponsor and contact this Sponsor. Be of service and pay for these services using the Paypal in the donation page. Welcome to OLGA.

If you really like this girl and want to be with her, you will lose the addiction. I had to do this also for another women whom I love. This is a good time to show that you really love this person. Do it and quit. If you cannot, you can at least say to yourself that you tried. Remember, if you don't give it a go, you can never win. You should know that, your a gambling manic right? lol.

Do it because you never know, you might just stop playing games and start playing the game of love with your lovely girlfriend. Prove it to her and more importantly, to yourself, that you can stop. Believe that you will and you will. Believe that you will fail and prepare to fail.

Mario, Video game addict.

Mario

slaber
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Hello everyone! I have a

Hello everyone!

I have a problem... I'm addicted to almost every game there is... For example if i start playing a new game i won't rest until I finish it!Now imagine that playing straight forward 12 hours until i start literally crying because of the "dry eye" effect computer games.

My life is going nowhere, I'm in college for 6 years now and i'm still in the 2nd year of studies...that's right... I lost 4 years of my life on games...I've lost all my old collegues and nowadays it's a constant struggle to get up alone to go to class (wich is 74km away).

My parents despise me all the time... my girlfriend left me... I feel like everyone is judging me all the time so i simply don't feel confortable on talking to someone new...

I can't concentrate long enough to do my work because i have to use my computer very often to acomplish some lab work.I feel desperate and lonely... i gained 10 kg since this "thing" occured.

I simply don't know where to look or what to do!Another strange thing is when i go to sleep i have serious dificulties on falling asleep.and when i do i often get up in the midle of the night with insomnias.Speaking of inmsonias i'm having one right now it's almost 3:00 AM and i have to wake up tomorrow at 6am. I'm tired of feeling only pleasure on PC games! it's a ****ed life!

BUt i took a step when i checked out this website... i've uninstalled all the games i had and made a commitment to myself to never try to play another game again.Either way i feel the urge to start playing again... and i need a replacement... something that cuts this thing off for good!

Regards to all

Video game addict Lucas

I'm addicted but i don't want to!

fellasmom
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Welcome, slaber.  You've

Welcome, slaber. You've come to the right place. People here understand. We have a meeting every night at 10:00pm Eastern time. Hope to see you there.

Colleen

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Hi slaber and welcome to

Hi slaber and welcome to OLGA. We all know exactly how you feel. We've gone through the same thing. Gaming was ruining our lives. It's hard to quit but sooooo worth it. Just keep coming to this website and reading posts and posting. We all support one another in quitting and staying game free. You can do it and you'll be glad you did!

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

Mario
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Yes, join us in keeping free

Yes, join us in keeping free from games one day at a time. I too was a obsessive and compulsive gamer, but life without games is so much more freeing and I find that I can develop hobbies like I never had before! Welcome to OLGA.

Mario

slaber
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Thanks everyone for the

Thanks everyone for the support!

This website really works! knowing that i'm not alone in this world ,helps a lot!

Regards

Slaber

I'm addicted but i don't want to!

Mario
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Yes, many are here with

Yes, many are here with similar issues and problems...

Mario

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thanks everyone

thanks everyone

cnjayjay
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blue_calm85, there is much

blue_calm85, there is much you can do.

You need to try and wake him up. If you can't wake him up and make him realise the error of his ways, then you need to move on - you deserve better, as does your son, than to be treated like this.

You haven't gone wrong anywhere - only those who create (I'm sorry, but this is where I stand. Sue me, who cares?) these games, who develop them with their skinner box technology and keep people playing as long as possible can be blamed. You are not demanding of his time - you simply want to spend time with the man you love, and miss how you used to interact. As an addict, he is blind to all of these things, as an inversion has now taken place - online games are his real life. You and your son are treated how virtual life should be - with moderation and small time allocations. This is, fundamentally wrong.

Tell him, flat out, that you think he has an addiction - an obsession even. Direct him to this site, let him read, let him make a decision. Tell him that you are worried about him and miss the time that you used to spend together. You need to be straight and tell him that you are willing to help him do what it takes, but that if he doesn't quit, things are over. "It's me or the game" so to speak.

I hope you find some peace and that the best possible result comes about

Silent One

I quit gaming on 16 May 2011. Thank you Online Gamers Anonymous for setting me on the right path to conquering my addiction.

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