Sibling gamers

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Last seen: 9 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/13/2015 - 7:34am
Sibling gamers

Hi everyone, you can call me KK. i don't require any help with my addictive siblings because i really hate them. i just need to share my feeling because of some reason my parents neglected my feeling, and friends don't really understand my feeling. my english is pretty bad, since english is not my native language but i'll try my best. i'm 24 years old, female, unemployed and just finished my study. i'm once addicted to online game,especially mmorpg game. i played this game from 2 years ago and decided to stop 3-4 month ago. it's hard. but my life is harder when i'm still active in the game. there was many times when i'm about to wake up from sleep, at that moment i'm thinking which character i want to log for that day. at first it was funny thinking that i'm having confusion between reality and game world,but later it is not when i can't get the game out of my head. my study drop really bad and i'm not proud at all about my final result. i spend most of my time playing game and sometime skip sleep for it. this continue for more that a year.

during my first month stop playing the game, it was hard. i feel like my life become empty. i got no direction and motivation. i end up filling all the free time with sleeping. my life at that time was either study, eating or sleeping. i admit it was a sudden decision. i cry about my result( i end up repeating another 2 semester) and decided to uninstall and remove all my game. i have spend lots of real money on game. but i admit here that i'm not regret all the resource i spend on game. i have good time with game and i accept that all the bad things happen to me is because of myself-because i'm unable to control myself. not because of game. although the bad final result of my study, i still can smile when remembering my time playing game and all the people i met. but, all those sweet memory still wont get me back to game ever.

i'm stiil recovering and i'm now i'm still looking for things to fill up my schedule. there was this moment that i want to install back the game, thinking that i got better self-control now. but, to overcome this addiction, i understand that i need to delays this intention and keep myself busy with other things. i hope i will forget about my addiction in time.

my sibling is onto game too. and knowing game at such young ages do serious damage to them, to my parents and to me as the oldest sibling. my brothers are addicted to online shooting game. this game solely on pvp mechanic. the problems are they steal my parents money to go cybercafe. sometime they sneak out at 1 am just to go cybercafe that open 24 hours. they have become more aggresive especially when my father tried to stop them from playing game. since they are older now (16-17 years old), they often talk back to my parents in a very rude manner and since they are bigger and stronger they sometime threat to hit my parent. they are not doing their study and got very bad result for importance exams. when i tried to advised them, they humiliate me saying that i play game too and is worse than they are and i'm not fit to tell them what is right and wrong. they become very rude with me. this end up bad relationship between me and my sibling. we are like enemies. there was this one time, while i'm using the internet my brother threat to beat me because he got lag while playing game. out of anger, i break his computer keyboard. next morning, he threat me with knife to get him new keyboard. he look insane crying while holding the broken keyboard in his arm. he looks like he lost his child. i'm not joking when i said he became somehow very stupid too. i got my own temper too and i got snapped when he threat to hit my mom for new keyboard. t go to the kitchen and grab a knife and using that knife i broke the computer and i forced him to get out of the house while i'm still being considerate to not kill him. i was very angry at that time that i went histeric and my hand trembled while holding the knife. there is this problem with spiritual side too. my parents is religious. they send my brother to religious scholl. to tell the truth, we're muslim. and there is this prayer that we are need to perform five times a day. i realised that they often skip prayer because of game. this is really bad. because when god hate you, you are doomed. i tried to help them but they refused my advised, and they disrespect me saying that i'm worse than them. worse is, because they are schooled at a religious school, they even think that i'm worse than them in term of spiritual. even when i'm still addicted to game, i never left any prayer intentionally because of game. they refuse me because thay have planted in their head that i am in any aspects are worse than them. i feel really sad. i have tired of crying and replaces my sadness with anger. i never talk to them until now, because i hate them really bad. i hate them.

and here is some extras: my parents really proud with their son and simply neglected their daughter. to tell the truth,i'm not a very good child. i'm rebellious. i've made my parents cried very bad few times, they got tired with me and decided not to care anymore about me. i was 9 when i yelled to my mother to go died and she never care about me until i went to further my study at 18 years old. since then, distance really got us and we become more like mother and daughter should be. and because of these sins, my father always talk bad about me, about my attitude and about my education of not going to religious school. i never really talked with my father till now. they always biased with me and are so into their son. eventhough their son threat to hit them, 10 minutes later they can still talk nice and smile to them. it tooks me 9 years to get back to my mother! they are blinded by their 'good' son. when they feel remorse or in a bad mood, they will let it go on me. talking in a rude and bad manner to me. when they feel good or in good mood, they will took the sons to eat together, buy things for them. i feel very sad.

Last seen: 1 week 2 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/21/2013 - 1:42pm
I  am so sorry to hear

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through. (By the way - what is your native language? Just wondering if it's one I'm familiar with.) Although I am an atheist, I can tell you honestly that there are many people out here who believe in God and have found a lot of strength from their belief and improved their lives a lot. There is so much anger and suffering in what you described. Even in my family I know I have said horrible things to my family members because of my gaming.

I can also understand how it would feel when the family is partial towards boys and gives them that kind of importance.

The one thing I wanted to say after reading this is to ask you - what do you want to do with your life? Do you have goals or dreams for yourself? If you start working towards that, then there is a good chance that others around you will try to learn good things from you. That's what I found for myself - that trying to help other people who aren't really listening is just frustrating. But when I started taking care of myself, then people would respect me and come and ask me sometimes about what they should do.

Polga's picture
Last seen: 2 hours 41 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Hi KK I'm sorry to hear that


I'm sorry to hear that you have had some bad breaks in your early life and their have been problems with your relationships. Your parents have been brought up to believe in certain cultural ideas as being right or wrong. Some of these ideas, habits and and feeling are strong. No parent is perfect either. I'm sorry that you havn't had the understanding you needed.

Now you are growing up you have a mind of your own. We cannot control other peoples thoughts and actions. All you can do is to control your own thoughts and actions and understand your own feelings and decide what kind of person you want to be. You may find it helps you to feel more peaceful to think about your parents and sibblings in a way where you can understand why they are the way they are and not take it personally that they are hurting you. You can decide that you will be a person who lives by their own principles and not react to what they say that hurts you.

I cannot stop my son being an addict because he denies all the evidence that is so obvious to me. I've told him what I think but now I let it go. Fighting things we cannot change gets us nowhere, even if people are not fair to us and we are trying to make them see the error of their ways. It just brings us down and makes us feel bad. We can chose to detach from their bad behaviour and look after ourself. We learn that we cannot control anyone elses choices but our own. You can chose to love the person, but hate the addiciton or behaviour they have. And accept the way they behave is how it is but it doesn't have to ruin your happiness because you can look after your needs without needing to dwell on their problems and get support elsewhere.

If they see your response changing, that may also have a positive effect on the realtionship and the way they see their problems.

There is a lot about detachment on this fourm (search box at the bottom of the page) and the web. Books by Melody Beatie are also a good read.


God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author Unknown

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