What does it mean to be 'Powerless' over Games

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Chris-L
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What does it mean to be 'Powerless' over Games

Hi all, new to forums, seems exaclty what i need :)

 

i always used to play PC games (historical/stratagy) a little too much, but it was managable.

however, last few years it has gotten out of hand. with the onset of depression, followed by frequent cannabis use, my PC gaming has gotten WAY out of control (every night up until 4am, sleeping through the day).

 

its having big consequences on my health.

 

about 5 months ago i dived into the Narcotics Annonomous community and got a sponsor, got clean, which imporved my mental heath a lot. we been working through step one in regards to drugs. but i still been burning through PC gaming with less and less control as the months go by.

my sponsor has suggested that gaming is probably my 'primary' addiction and that i should seek out gaming addiction support groups.

I have tried uninstalling all games, but after a week i install JUST ONE... which turns into 2, then 3, and im back where i started... up all night gaming.

so my question to you, is, What does it mean to be powerless over (pc/online/console) games?

 

thanks

Chris

Thought i might have a go at Warhammer!? (AoS)

Rhumor
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What does it mean to be 'Powerless' over Games

I think the answer to your question will be different for everyone. I can tell you for me it is the tremendous desire to go back to the game that was basically your life for so long. I have been addicted for almost 9 years and leaving has been very hard.  Not just the game itself but the people we feel we develope relationships with.  However, I have come to the realization it is those feelings that have made me powerless over my addiciton.  I just left a meeting regarding love and acceptance and it really hit it home for me.  I would suggest you take a look at the meeting schedule and join one.  It is very helpful to talk to other people who are or who have experienced the same thing we are.  You can find the schedule here: 

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

I have been clean so to speak for only 36 hours and for you and I at this point it is 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day etc at a time.  Whatever it takes.  I wish you all the best.

 

lipton
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Being here on this forum is a

Being here on this forum is a great step.  If you read through these forums you will see all sorts of descriptions of how people are powerless over games and how that has affected their lives.  

You said:  "I have tried uninstalling all games, but after a week i install JUST ONE... which turns into 2, then 3, and im back where i started... up all night gaming."  That sounds like you are beginning to describe how you are powerless over games.   Have there been other times you've tried to control or limit your gaming and found it difficult?  Do you see any similarities in the power of games to pull you and the power substances had over you?    Just questions to help you think about the concept of gaming as an addiction. 

Thanks for sharing. 

Ritchy
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great topic

Welcome Chris, great topic.  I've found that all my attempts at moderation have eventually failed, usually right away.  A few times I was able to slow down for a while, but it was not too long before my gaming picked up again.  Sooner or later I would think, "I'm doing good, I deserve a break..." and then I was bingeing my brains out again.  I tried every possible strategy I could think of.  I am powerless to stick to moderation.

I also tried stopping on my own a bunch of times.  I thought if I stopped for a month or three or six, that I would break my bad habits and be able to game responsibly when I returned.  I could never stick to these decisions.  Many times, I was reinstalling on the same day that I quit and uninstalled.  I'm powerless to stay stopped on my own.

Even though I had the power to occasionally moderate, or stick to certain games, or shut off the games when I wanted to, or take a week off, those times were rare compared to all the times that I tried to control myself and could not.  In the larger picture, over the longer term, I was completely powerless to halt the downward spiral of gaming addiction.

The sick thing is that I would have continued on that way endlessly, trying the same failed strategies again and again and again, sinking lower and lower, if it were not for hearing the stories of other people like me in the meetings.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

They cracked through my denial with their honesty about their own gaming.  I am so grateful to have stopped gaming with the help of other people who had been where I had been.  Hope to see you at a meeting.

Chris-L
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lovely responses, thankyou.

lovely responses, thankyou.

its helpful to hear about other people's struggles, how even 24 hours can be such a struggle. i often beat myself up for not managing even 24 hours. it seems such a simple task on paper :)

some good-ish news though. im taking up warhammer again, just did my first session (since 7 years) of sitting down at 'hobby desk' and putting models together. its like meditation for me. the precise concentration required makes for a quiet mind. followed by a lovely sense of achievement that i can look at every day :)

however, last 3 days i went a bit nuts buying models of ebay (money i dont have). iv heard quite a bit about exchanging one addiction for another. but at least this one was quicker/easier to identify.

thanks for links for meetings, will try to attend one in next few days.

Thought i might have a go at Warhammer!? (AoS)

Allerseelen
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Fantastic question, and as

Fantastic question, and as others have mentioned, I think the response you'll get depends on who you ask. For me, being powerless over gaming feels like being unable to leave my seat during a gaming session, even if I've got commitments or places I know I should be. Powerless feels like gaming is crowding out my friends, family, hobbies, and work. Powerless feels like waking up every morning with gaming on my mind and going to sleep planning my next session. Powerless feels like starting to lie or planning to take my laptop to unusual places to game.

It's a whole web of bad stuff. If you take that fearless and searching self-inventory, I'm sure you'll start to be able to define for yourself what "powerless" means in your addiction.

Thanks, and keep coming back,

Allerseelen

Taking Steps toward recovery since November 2, 2012. The difficulty of the path makes it worth the walking.

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