I need one that automatically controls the amount of time the internet is turned on for during the day. I really wish Comcast did this. :(
I don't want software because it's his computer and I don't want to mess with all that. It's our cords from the outlets in the garage...I'd much rather fight that battle.
If there is a lock and key, that's a pain. It would be cheaper just take the cords away and to do that everyday is exhausting.
What have you tried?
8675309, have you heard of iBoss? I haven't tried it but it is a router I believe and some parents tried it here as far as I know. Perhaps you can google it. Good luck!
"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia
Hi 8675309,
you wrote:
I don't want software because it's his computer and I don't want to mess with all that. It's our cords from the outlets in the garage...I'd much rather fight that battle.
If there is a lock and key, that's a pain. It would be cheaper just take the cords away and to do that everyday is exhausting.
I am a recovering gamer and I've been in recovery for several years. When I was actively gaming my husband tried to take the cords away from the computer and I used the ones from the kettle instead. An active gamer in addiction will weasel around any preventatives that you put in place. Please be loving and supportive to your son, but also assertive. If you respect his computer and don't want to add software there it leaves the window open for him to game. If your son is younger then as a parent you can take authority and put the software on. If he is older then talk to him about it. Even if he doesn't listen at first persist. And come back here to get support from other Moms and family members.
I really wish you and your son a hopeful future.
Tam
"It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity"
Albert Einstein.
The cords won't help because the addiction is to gaming. It may seem like it's only one game but if you take his access to that away, he will substitute. I went cold turkey on my favorite game and a few days later I realized my head was buried in my phone for 3-4 hours at a time playing games on there.
Ahh, I'm going batty! I am at the beginning stages of what to do. I'm not ready to eliminate all gaming from the house yet...I know, I know....it will probably fail, but I want us as a family to try these different things out and bang our heads around to figure it all out.
I got locked out of the other topic for advocating moderation or "functioning". I just want to try it is all, if it doesn't work.... I'll keep hammering away.
I have this idea that if my stepson experiences only being allowed 5 hours or what not, he'll be able to understand how, for lack of a better word, powerless he is, how obsessive, and he can get closer to understanding this addiction. And he can actually make it to work!
He'll be 18 in a week.
I might try that iboss. Thank you all for your comments, I carefully consider what everyone writes...that's why I'm going batty. :)
Just an idea I had that might help him see how powerless he feels to his addiction. Give him a challenge with a nice reward at the end. Has there been something (Non-gaming related) he's been wanting for a while? Money is always a nice motivator as well. Have him abstain for 2-4 weeks, whichever you prefer or deem reasonable with the promise of the reward at the end but tell him he needs to write down a paragraph each day of how he feels in a journal. Make sure he's abstaining from all games, mobile as well. This might require having him delete all games off his phone and putting a program log onto his pc to ensure he's sticking to it (the details require some more thought) but I would think that's a pretty good way to recognize the cravings you have to game, the irritability when you don't and how strong the urges to play are.
Oh what an idea! I love it! I'm gonna sit on it and think it out, but you captured what I want as far as him delving into himself and thinking about what is going on. He is constantly distracting himself and I want him to feel things and think things out. Journaling it too! Nice! And a reward at the end so it's not too negative is a nice touch. Then we would have to take the next step from there.
Thank-you JB!
Glad you like it. Please come back and update as it progresses and let us know how it works. It'd be great to know if it's effective as I'm sure there are others in your predicament and would love an idea that works. I'd propose it as a challenge rather than a mandate. If he refuses the challenge, you can always try augmenting the reward to make it seem more desirable and if he still doesn't go for it, you can try to mandate it but I think it would be most effective it was something he did willingly (hence the reward). Best of luck to you and your family with this.
My son is 8 months into serious marathon gaming on Grand Theft Auto. He started playing it on the PC, but managed to get the GTA V program and a Play Station 3, plus microphone & headphones from Ebay . This allows him to now play the newest Multi Player Online Role-Playing (MMORPG) version of the game of what was formerly an Action-only game. Now he complains from backaches which yesterday got him out of school ( after an all-night marathon play session, no doubt) and actually got his mom to take him to the ER with his complaints, which were diagnosed with a variable Hypochondria.
He has all but quit 10th grade ( he is 15 ) by flunking all of his subjects in the past 1st semester ( avg 25 to 30% of his work done), and unwittingly got himself ( due to his expertise on the PC) sucked into a Facebook cyber bullying ring which got him suspended from school for 5 days. The NYPD got involved. I do not have custody of the child. When he came over to my house for a weekend's visitation he brings over the PS3, and last week when I tried to turn off the TV, he started to slug me. His mother is afraid of him.
Being the stranded dad of divorce without custody of the child, I can't think of anything to do but just watch from the outside looking in. He got out of his first day for the second semester thereby missing the day he was scheduled to get his report card. His mother and I are pretty much on the same page about his lack of studies and acceptance of this as a real addiction, but she is such a push over when it comes down to his lack of desire to go to school, or doing anything at all.
I'm so glad OLGAnon exists, I just joined. What am I supposed to do, wait for a big violent confrontation to occur , landing him behind bars?
Welcome dadayo. If you could start a new thread with your post I am sure you will get more notice and a quick response.
In the meantime, know that you are not alone and that many of us have had similar experiences, me included. The first time we tried removing our son's computer and game was the first time we ever saw an explosive temper (he was 15.) What I can tell you is that enabling is the worst thing you can do for an addict and it sounds like your ex-wife has that tendency. Is there any way you can direct her to this site? It may open her eyes a bit to know that there really is such a thing as an addiction to a game.