Actually I have a few questions. First of all I was wondering if anyone else was having a problem with low sex drive in a gaming addict. My husband has none whatsoever and says that the idea that it is game related is stupid. He also says that its not me, he just has no desire for anyone anymore. Does anyone have any advice or ideas on whether the two are related. Lastly I wanted to ask bout something that is mentioned often in previous posts. Everyone is often saying How you have to stop enabling them (as a spouse) to be a game addict and stop doing things for them. I agree with this in theory and would like to put something like this into effect however I often find that doing this hurts me more than it hurts him. Some good examples would be... I work first shift and he works second so daytime appointments have always been his responsibility and ones in the evening have always been mine do to the other having to work. Lately he refuses to attend daytime appointments leaving me with having to take off work, get in trouble and lose pay, he says that I am just being lazy and I need to learn to take care of things myself, these are things that he has only had a problem with since his gaming problem. anyway if I dont take the kids/dog to the doctor their ailment keeps progressively getting worse yet I feel as if I am allowing him to keep playing, also he has my daughters watch their two year old brother and clean the house all day while he plays which isnt a great summer vacation for them but I cant afford a sitter... I guess I need a little realistic advice to put this plan into action
Thanks
any advice would be appreciated
Holly
Quote:Actually I have a few questions. First of all I was wondering if anyone else was having a problem with low sex drive in a gaming addict. My husband has none whatsoever and says that the idea that it is game related is stupid. He also says that its not me, he just has no desire for anyone anymore. Does anyone have any advice or ideas on whether the two are related.
They are definitely related - from my own experience, and from what I understand about it by listening to others.
In my case, I have had a very very highly variable one when I was an addict, while my normal one is very very healthily high
If we look at addiction as a spiritual problem, problems with sex are too. Sex is a very spiritual thing and when one is addicted and misses out on divine intercourse, the ability to have intercourse with others - sexual or otherwise - is diminished too.
Quote:anyway if I dont take the kids/dog to the doctor their ailment keeps progressively getting worse yet I feel as if I am allowing him to keep playing
Thats a bad situation to be in as he has more leverage on you than you do on him. Stopping doing his laundry / food would be an interesting idea. Same thing with cleaning his gaming room - if he has one.
The best thing would be to pray for another thunderbolt ... I heard that they can be arranged by appointment *hint hint, nudge nudge* (sorry, but sometimes one has to face sadness and absurdity with humour, or it becomes difficult to take it, when exposed to it at long stretches and from various angles)
Ok, back to our sad sad man ... problem is he does not realize how sad a situation he really is in. No sex drive, sitting at the PC for countless hours, neglecting his wife and children...
Maybe he needs to take a good read at our website. Reading other peoplesA' stories has proven beneficial to many an addict.
Take care of yourself Holly, sounds like it is a tough job to do when he is around, but other woman have managed and you will manage too. Treat him for what he is ... ill. Treat him with compassion and love, but also with a deep realization of his insane condition. As it is definitely not sane, and he will realize it when he some day comes out of it.
Take care
Maxim
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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.
Hello Hollyshelle,
Yes, low sex drive is related to gaming. My choices were to increase my workouts to 5 days a week, or cheat on my boyfriend. And I refuse to cheat, so I'd have to break up with him first for a one-night stand...which wouldn't be worth it in the long run. So I chose to workout 5 times a week. It made me feel better, healther, and more confident, so there is no loss in doing that.
As for enabling...you have a complicated situation with kids. So I'm not sure. I would try to enlist the help of friends and family and be honest and open about what a loser he is right now so you can get more sympathy and help with running a household and taking care of your kids.
If he is just going to have conversations with you about how lazy you are and place blame, I wouldn't have conversations with him. I'd give him the silent treatment, just ignore him. No point in having a conversation about nothing, you don't have time for that, you have a household to run and kids to take care of.
Good Luck.
Hello Holly,
All I can say is this. For some people who get involved in these games, it is like they have passed through to the other side of the looking glass (from Alice and Wonderland) and cannot get back. They seem to be in a trance and total denial of what is happening to them. There is a point where they cannot or will not see it. All they want is to be left alone and to be allowed to continue this activity. It is like they are hypnotized and in a trance - like they are under mind-control from within the games.
We are finding that for some people, they need to be de-programmed when they come off of these games - much like as if they were in a cult.
By the way, this is how many of these games have been designed, so the game companies make more money.
Liz
Liz Woolley