Hopelessly addicted

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mswalls2007
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Joined: 12/28/2008 - 10:10am
Hopelessly addicted

Hi, my husband and I have been married for three years. I have a six year old daughter from a previous marriage. In the beginning, it was great. He is wonderful with my daughter. Well, he was. He has been playing Everquest 2 on the computer since September. His addiction has gotten steadily worse. He plays for an average of 10 hours a day, sometimes more. He completely ignores the family, and takes his meals at the computer. He only breaks to smoke,sleep for about 4 hours, and go to the bathroom. I have tried seducing him, no response. I have to tried to create a family night, no luck. I am at the end of my rope. What should I do? I feel neglected and unappreciated.

Solei
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Hello MsWalls, Welcome to

Hello MsWalls, Welcome to OLGA! I am a recovering gamer who is VERY lucky that my spouse endured all of the pain I put him through. You mentioned asking him for "family nights," etc... how would he react if you say him down (away from his game!) and told him how much the game is hurting you, your relationship and your entire life!! You may even try getting him to log onto this site ~ it might provide him with some insight and help if he read the story of other ex-gamers who managed to either drastically limit their game play, or like me, have had to quit entirely. Best wishes, Love, Solei

-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-

dawn
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welcome ms i am so glad u

welcome ms i am so glad u are here among friends. Solei is offering wise suggestions. if he can come here read a bit maybe attend a meeting? sitting him down making it clean how his actions are affecting your family is an honest thing to do for yourself. please know you are not alone there is education and support here. :grouphug: Dawn

Take the first step in faith. You donaEU(tm)t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
~Bob Newhart
The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future, both you and your future begin to change. ~Marilee Zdenek

jsm0807
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Joined: 10/08/2007 - 2:41am
Sweetie, you don't have a

Sweetie, you don't have a marriage. You live with a gamer. That is your life. Once you accept that as your reality, you can move forward. Of course you should try to save the marriage and try to help him. But remember he is a grown man who has a stronger desire to play with pixels than his desire to be a husband and step-father. You cannot change him, he has to change himself. How long will you put up with it? You also have to determine your breaking point. How much does the relationship have to deteriorate in order for yo u to leave it? Only you can decide that. Lead your own life the best you can. Leave him behind if that is the best for you and your child.

Janet

birdhousesp
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Joined: 12/19/2008 - 6:17pm
The previous poster is

The previous poster is right. He must want to change first. I was stubborn for close to a year and I was totally oblivious to it. My Fiancee always dropped subtle hints of the game being a problem by trying to talk about, try to make me fix my cpu, try to seduce me and I couldn't understand it. I thought she was out of her mind to try to take me away from something so harmless like a little game! Hindsight is twenty-twenty when you realize the one you love is trying to save you. The person that loves you so much is trying so hard to save a life worth saving. It wasn't until I almost lost her...and maybe still could...that my eyes were opened that I really did have a problem. She stood up for herself and is sticking to her guns and at times reminds me how long she put up with me. I know she still loves me a lot and cares for me, but it is tough love. Its especially tough because she is still so distant from me. Since our "space" between each other began, it has given me a lot of focal clarity on our relationship. It has allowed me to step away from the game and realize the things around me are by far, still an understatment, so much more important. That's what worked for her. As for your situation I know you have children involved. I pray for you and your family. I hope he has his life changing event that allows him to step away from the game and embrace something real he has loved for so long.

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