Husband getting ready to move out.

31 posts / 0 new
Last post
motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
Husband getting ready to move out.

Hello all.

My husband has been addicted to online games for over 9 years now. He played different games in the past, lately he has been playing WoW non-stop whenever he is at home. He is going to work during the day because I wake him up in the morning and tell him to go to bed when he's up playing late. It has been such a long battle I want to share the details of our past story later, when I have more time on my hands. I've been reading posts on OLGA, for emotional support. Right now I just wanted to quickly ask for your advice about my current situation.

So I recently told him to move out (as I did so many times in the past but this time I really meant it). He found a small apartment not too far. He's getting ready to move out. He's acting all happy about it, like he's going on a trip or something, I guess because he will be able to play the game whenever he wants to without me nagging, shouting, and pulling him all the time. But me, I'm just so sad, angry, helpless, lonely, uncertain about what's going to happen to my family's future. He's agreed to contribute some amount of his salary to support our living costs. The thing is it is very likely that he will get fired because of his game. This summer I took the kids to my parents, and found out that he didn't go to work during that period and stayed in playing 24/7. Things really worsened after that, now he's playing more than he used to. Before he at least played with the kids when I told him to shut down the PC. Now he's acting like he doesn't care, he's moving out anyway.

I have a feeling if I let him go he is going down, I mean really down. If he gets fired from his job there will be no money from him. I'm working part time right now, and going to start working full time soon so we will get by somehow. If he comes back with no money, no job it will be hard to take him back unless he promises he will never touch the game again. I mean the only reason he is living by a normal person's schedule is because I'm making him. My question is, anybody who has kicked out his/her spouse who's a game addict, did you have any doubts, how did you overcome them? I'm so scared and worried, but he is not. I know that this is for the best for me and my two children. Another thing, we are living abroad, I really have no family or friends to help me over here. So it's gonna be a challenge as a single mom. Maybe I'll have to move back to my parents' hometown. I don't have the energy to think about divorce at the moment. That's phase 2 I guess. A few months ago when I was trying to make him quit playing and pushed him, he hit my head real hard it really hurt. Can I ever forgive him? He's talking and acting as if everything is my fault. Sometimes I second-guess myself, what did I do wrong, how was I a bad wife, is the real reason he plays is me? What did I miss? ... Oooh I hate him for making me feel this way. I'm scared now to get physical with him to make him stop, so just using words which are really weak. He says he's moving out in a week, I'm going crazy here, which I'm trying to hide the best I can because I have two kids (1 just a baby) to take care of. I hope I will be more clear-minded after some time. Anyone who went through a similar situation, please give me some advice, comments...

Thank you so much.

fmbassett
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:07am
I feel your pain. This is my

I feel your pain. This is my 2nd marriage and my husband is addicted to DeadFrontier and won't admit it. I have asked him to stop to save our marriage but it is he life and that is that! We drive tractor trailer over the road together so it is very hard. I will be doing some reading on this site to see how I can save our marriage first! Best of luck and sorry to hear it is ending this way!

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
I also feel your pain. My

I also feel your pain. My husband is addicted to Second Life, he knows he has to leave it but tells me he needs time. Your question is a difficult one, cause it's not a decision that you can make, it boils down to him wanting to stop his gaming and taking back control of his life. No matter what you do, if he is not ready then nothing will happen. If you let him stay, it is most likely that he will not stop gaming as soon as you would like him to and he may still loose his job, cause the possibility of him not going to work to game is great, even when you make him go, one day he will not listen to you. If you let him move out, even if the worse happens, that he looses his job, he will not have you there to lift him back up, and he will not have all of your attention to get him to do the things he needs to do to survive, he will have to do it all by himself, and then he may hit rock bottom and hopefully realize how severe his gaming is. It's a chance you take, but the only way he can change is for him to see he has to change.

Good luck to you and I wish there was an easy way out.

Hugs xoxo

John of the Roses
John of the Roses's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 weeks 2 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/23/2007 - 5:12pm
Hi!  & welcome to Olganon,

Hi! & welcome to Olganon, where you will find support and advice from other spouses, parents & significant others. Also, be ready to hear from the exgamers here as they have a knack of explaining the other side of the addiction.

We Anons ( thats you, me, Mrs KC etc ) try and meet up in the chat room every Friday evening at 7 PM EDT. Hope your schedule permits, its really theraputic to share with other Anons!

Just remember the three C's: You didnt Cause it, You cant Control it & You cant Cure it. Like Mrs_KC said he will have to learn for himself how unmanagable his life is, how poweerless he is to the gaming and hit his bottom. The disease of online gaming is really baffling , cunning & insideous. Hang in there, you are in the right place now!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
Hello fmbassett, Mrs_KC and

Hello fmbassett, Mrs_KC and John of the Roses, thank you all so much for posting replies to my story.

I know how it is to continuously struggle with your addicted spouse, it's an ongoing pain. Some nights I have good dreams and when I wake up, my real life seems like a nightmare. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? My heart goes out to everybody, families of gamers AND the gamers.

I think I know how it is to be addicted to something. When I was a student I was addicted to movies and tv series, would rent 5-10 dvds and watch'em one after another. But that was only during the holidays, and it never interrupted my student life. I don't understand why someone would put this cyber world above your real life and loved ones. I guess this point is the most hurtful because it makes me and my children feel so unimportant.

Anyway, I am trying to stay rational, planning out my future as a single mother.Thank you for introducing me to the chat session, I will try to participate these meetings, maybe this friday.

I will hold on to the three Cs, I am going to print it out and put it on my wall :)

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
Stay strong, you can do

Stay strong, you can do anything and keep going forward!! Hopefully he will realize what he is loosing and make all the right changes.

Hope to see you in the Friday meeting.

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
Terrible place to be, m2,

Terrible place to be, m2, really lousy. I considered leaving many times, not because I was addicted, but because she didn't understand, of course. I hope your husband figures out who understands and who doesn't.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
Hey exazzy, thanx for your

Hey exazzy, thanx for your comments.
You are right, I don't understand him.
But what would you want your spouse/girlfriend to understand?
That you are helplessly addicted to games? or how fun it is to play?

I mean I am willing to understand and help, if my husband would admit he is an addict and it's a problem. It seems to me that while he's playing he's having such a good time, so much fun.
When he stops and sees me upset, he doesn't understand.
While he is playing for 10 hours maybe 20, so many things happen, first I stay calm
hoping he will finish playing soon, then I try to do something else to take my mind of him,
we go out take a walk, come back, he is still playing...
clean the house, watch TV, he is still playing... after so many activities of course I get upset.
And I guess I look like a b**** (as he calls me when he's angry) for yelling at him for no reason.
It's like being frozen for a couple of years, and when you wake up
you would expect everyone, everything to be as they were.

The more victories in his fake life, the more failures and losses in his real one.

Personally I tried too long and too hard to make it work,
And I am so tired.

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
I guess when he sees me

I guess when he sees me upset and angry all the time he wants to play more and more,
this I admit might be my fault. His real life is not as much fun as his fake one. It's a downward spiral for him.

Kate1song
Kate1song's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 months 4 weeks ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/15/2010 - 10:19am
motheroftwo wrote: I guess
motheroftwo wrote:

I guess when he sees me upset and angry all the time he wants to play more and more,
this I admit might be my fault. His real life is not as much fun as his fake one. It's a downward spiral for him.

I don't think that's true, Real life is good. But if he's a gaming addict, he is wired to believe that nothing is as important as that game.

What he is looking for is reasons to justify his excessive playing. I am sure that somewhere, deep inside, he knows what he's doing is wrong, but he is rationalizing it however he can.

My point being that, he is looking for excuses. And seeing your anger is one he can use in his own brain to make his rediculous behavior somehow.. ok.

It's perfectly reasonable for you to be upset by what he's doing, but he turns it around and uses it to try to control the situation. :(

It's not right, and it's not fair, but it's the reality of addiction.

There are nightly open chat meetings (9 p.m. EST) in the Olga chatroom.

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
M2, I was being sarcastic

M2, I was being sarcastic about that, and not clear. I thought I had it all figured out, I had needs, I was deserving, blah blah blah.

Its not your responsibility to provide a warm loving, safe atmosphere for his addiction.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
  motheroftwo wrote:  

motheroftwo wrote:

It's like being frozen for a couple of years, and when you wake up
you would expect everyone, everything to be as they were.

This is so true, great comparison!!! Stay strong and keep going forward, your feelings are not wrong and it is not your fault.

COwife
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 09/28/2012 - 4:13am
I agree with everyone's

I agree with everyone's comments. His gaming is defintely not your fault. My story and thread is in the family and friends section. I posted it their by accident. I also have experience with physical alteracations with my husband. If I tried to get him to stop he would push me and shove at me. I'd get nervous cleaning around the desk because he gets annoyed about how I mess with his wires. I read in the Gamers section a list of symptoms seen in video game addicts. This is definetely one of them. I put up with a handful of these incidents and it was one of the reasons I separated from him in the last 3 weeks.

I had to accept that I can't make him change. He may fail without me being there but he needs to hit rock bottom for him to realize how serious his addiction is. The fact that I was always there to pick up the pieces and manage our home made him lazier and play more games. He would complain I was controlling and wanted everything done my way. This was an excuse to deflect his own issues. The main issue that even if I am controlling (I can be bossy and I like having my way with certain things) he made the choice to let me do things my way because he doesn't want to be present or participate in many aspects of our marriage and life. When I wanted him to make mutual decisions with me he would rather game than participate. I felt exhuasted and resentful for having to do it all these things by myself.

I would like to share with you what my therapist told me. My husband is responsible for his gaming addiction and behaviors. I am responsible for the choices I made to help him manage his life while he gamed. You talked about how you wake your husband up and let him know when its too late to game. I've done all those things too and I felt like I was taking care of a child at times and I really didn't have a husband. I resented this but now I realize I made a choice to those things. I had the choice help him suceed or let him fail. Both of these choices sound very crappy and in the moment its hard to make the choice to let him fail and figure it out on his own. Its very scary because you love your spouse and you dont want to see them hit rock bottom or drown. I always felt like I saw my husband drowing in the water and I was pulling him up to save him. In the last few months I felt like I was so exhausted that I was drowing with him as well. When I realized this I knew I had to let go. I still feel this need to help him, give him advice, and make him see what his addiction really is. I have to try to stop myself. I am still having a hard time accepting that I can't make him see gaming as an addiction.

There is no easy way in these matters. I pray for you and your loved ones. Stay strong!

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
Wow, it is truly amazing to

Wow, it is truly amazing to read from someone else all the same feelings as mine, to realize that i am not the only one with these feelings and concerns just makes me understand how I am not alone in this nightmare of a gaming addiction. How can people get so lost in games, fantasy worlds and isolate themselves from their real life, still shocks me to disbelief that it can happen, even after living it first hand.

I can only pray that we can all get help and be able to recover our husband and our selves, sooner than later.

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
You have a good therapist

You have a good therapist and very good insight, COwife.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
@exazzy, now I see you were

@exazzy, now I see you were being sarcastic. I kinda understand the logic behind that. Anyone would want his/her partner to understand and support, for the better or worse. Nobody is perfect, for example i can never give up coke, coffee, sugar eventhough I know these are all bad for my health. But these games, these games are destroying lives, and the world around us.

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
Hello COwife, Thank you so

Hello COwife,

Thank you so much for your comments. Your story is very similar to mine, in fact if I changed the main characters it could be my story :-( Except that I never seeked therapy, maybe I should when all this nightmare is over.

I completely understand how you feel like you do everything by yourself. Me too. I used to try to make his time spent with us more enjoyable, so that he would slowly find the game less enjoyable. I would reserve nice restaurants, cook and plan picniks, plan a family vacation on holidays, make us go to community events. After all that he just told me you like to do things your way anyways. Lately after reading other posts on Olga, I am realizing that I was letting him have the best of both worlds. He spent most of his free time playing in order to be some kind of a hero, and still have a warm loving family with no effort, no price!

I know if I didn't plan anything for the holidays, he definitely wouldn't and we would end up staying at home. I look at my children and feel sorry for them, other children are living in homes filled with love, whereas in our home there is a dark tunnel space, where their daddy crawls and disappears to every night. That's why I always tried to fill up the whole he has created in our family life, by doing 2 parents' job all by myself. So I 100% understand what you are going through.

I have to admit my husband did participate in family activities, and sometimes cleaned, cooked, played with the kids. But the problem for me was, when he did those things he was always in a hurry, you could tell he just wanted to get it over with and go to his cyber heaven.

I sometimes look at the WoW screen while he plays, and I always wonder what's so interesting about this gaming world, I don't get it. The 3D graphics aren't really that perfect. The other day some monster came up to him and there was a big red sign flashing "revenge!" I couldn't help but laugh, and told him "oh so NOW you know he wants revenge, how predictable!" It's like games children play. Maybe if I spent some time playing on it I would understand, but I don't really want to waste my time. And heaven forbid what if I get addicted myself.

Anyway, sorry for the long msg. This forum is really helping me take my mind of his gaming. He's in the other room playing now. He is supposed to be moving out tomorrow, but no packing no preparing god knows how he's gonna do it? I certainly won't pack his things for him. I am not gonna think about that. I am thinking about all my new friends here, going through this same living hell situation.

Good luck to you, and I pray for you as well.

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
@Mrs_KC, I also have been

@Mrs_KC, I also have been reading other posts and understanding more and more that this population addicted to video games is really expanding. And families, friends around them are all experiencing similar pain.

If I didn't experience this first hand, and someone told me my husband plays computer games, I think I would just say "really, what kinda games?" or "so what? " and not pay that much attention.

But now I really take very it seriously, my biggest worries are that my children might become addicted to these games some day. Is it genetic? How can I raise them so that they stay away from these addicting stuff like games, alcohol, drugs, porn... all the things that could destroy their lives.

I pray for you as well! Hope your we find our happiness back!

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
You all are definitely

You all are definitely getting it. :)

Addiction consumes, like a wildfire, it will use everything around itself as fuel. Everything. And anything coming between addiction and its fuel is a threat that gets burned too.

When I was gaming, I thought I could have it all - good home life and vibrant online life. In reality I was doing the 'hurry and be a family' thing too. As I shirked my responsibilities to game more my wife had to pick them up, and I felt guilty and embarrassed about that -- feelings which required More Game to cover and soothe. That's always the answer, to everything, More Game. That's diseased, insane thinking.

All you can do really is starve it.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
Thank you motheroftwo. I

Thank you motheroftwo. I wish there was an easy answer to your question, but all we can do is set ground rules for our children, explain why we set them and give them good values to live by, so that they can make good choices as they are growing up. We need to continue learning, so that we can educate them, cause they will have questions, so we must be prepared. Stay strong in your values and teach them why it is so important to follow them, that is all we can do, besides loving them as much as possible, but sticking to the boundaries.

My prayers go out to all of us.

COwife
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 09/28/2012 - 4:13am
I wanted to answer the

I wanted to answer the question about genetics. There are some people who have family history for addicitions such as alcohol and drugs. They say there is a genetic marker that can get passed down to children. However genetics doesn't determine 100% if a person will beocme an addict. What kind of environment they are raised in and the environment they create for themselves as they grow up influences their choices. So if you set limits for children and helps them socialize outside the home through activities, provide love, and stability ---> it will go a long way. Some of the reasons people turn to gaming is because of depression, unstability in their lives, feeling so lack of control. They find that in the game.

I have a brother who turns to gaming on play station and online games at times. My parents struggle as well. I am going to have a talk with him soon when he gets home from college to help him learn from my experiences. Wish me luck!

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for answering my question.

I will do my best raising my children away from gaming, and every other poison that exists in this world. I would never give up on my children and after dealing with their husband's addiction for almost a decade, I know how powerful this monster becomes when it's fed more and more. So I will say no from the start, and never let even a cell of this monster enter into our home. Hopefully some day I will see my children leading happy lives with full of real accomplishments in the real world.

I pray for all of us as well Mrs_KC, and I wish you luck COwife with your brother!

motheroftwo
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 6 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/08/2012 - 9:14am
It's been a week since my

It's been a week since my husband left. It was the calmest, quietest and the sanest week in the past decade of my life, (maybe not the happiest but being calm, knowing what will happen tomorrow is so much better than being happy today, then the next day the whole world turns upside down - basically walking on eggshells all the time).

I think I am starting to find my self again, I look in the mirror at my face everyday now, which I never did when my husband was here (maybe just a glance). I don't know why but my whole mind was obsessed with him, wasting his time and energy.

I decided to spend as little time as possible in front of my notebook, and spend more time with my children. I am the only parent they have now, and the last thing I want to do is turn into their father. I am reading posts on Olga to receive strength, in order to stop myself from thinking I made a mistake. And I will post from time to time.

My husband keeps texting me everyday, but only about money or other business. He thinks that all this is my fault. Before he moved out, I told him you can do just one thing - quit your game so that you can live with your family, why can't you do that? He told me YOU can do one thing - let me play, and we can all stay together. He thought of me before, the b**** who won't let me play. Now he probably thinks, the b**** who took my children away from me. But the problem is he didn't really want to be a full time father/husband. He just wanted us to be here, so that he can be a father whenever he is in queue to play or whenever his gaming schedule allows. He wanted to use us the kids as some accessory, while making me take care of housework all by myself. I think he will never understand what he has put us through, that what he was doing was wrong. I really don't understand how his mind works.

The "hitting rock bottom" so many people write about on Olga, when gamers really hit rock bottom, do they go back and realize the love from their family? Right now, my husband sees me as the monster, and he's the victim. I can't see how it will ever change. I can't understand him and he sure doesn't understand me, probably never will. Well he doesn't have internet access yet, that's why he's texting me otherwise he won't even answer his phone, I know it.

When I was living with my husband, playing in the other room. I always felt lonely. But now that I am all alone, I don't feel lonely, I am actually starting to feel whole again. Maybe this is same with all divorces. Thank you all for listening.

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
motheroftwo wrote: The
motheroftwo wrote:

The "hitting rock bottom" so many people write about on Olga, when gamers really hit rock bottom, do they go back and realize the love from their family? Right now, my husband sees me as the monster, and he's the victim. I can't see how it will ever change. I can't understand him and he sure doesn't understand me, probably never will. Well he doesn't have internet access yet, that's why he's texting me otherwise he won't even answer his phone, I know it.

I can't speak for gamers generically, but for me, I was in your husband's exact shoes, it was her fault, she didn't understand, it was so hard for me, the escape was so vital to my very existance, and then came an unmistakable AH-HA moment, the true eye-opening, which showed in fact I could NOT have everything, and while I was pretending I had everything, I was about to have nothing. And from there, there is no going back.

I hope your husband gets there, and soon.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

COwife
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 09/28/2012 - 4:13am
motheroftwo, I know how your

motheroftwo,

I know how your feeling. My husband thinks I'm the monster as well. Yesterday he told me its my fault for telling my parents and his parents the truth about what's going on. His "secrets" are out on what he's been donig on the game and I'm the one whose caused him damage. I was the controlling wife who wanted him off the game and away from his online friends. I felt lonely when I as with him and toward the end he was making some efforts to spend time with me. However the games came first and the amount of time he spent with his friends online was more than he ever spent with me. I'm with my parents and sister now and I feel less alone. I dont think I could do it without them. My mom wories about that I'll get very lonely if I move on to live by myself again and not go back to my husband. I do too. :(

When I spoke to him yesterday on gchat he was missing me and all the things I use to do for him. He says he's in so much pain for screwing up. I told him we both are in pain but he has to work through his issues. I asked him how his therapy session went and he said they made a plan. However that plan does not include stop gaming. He isn't ready to let go of gaming. He says I dont understand why he games. I told him I do understand why but it just makes me feel sorry that this is how he deals with his issues. My "understanding" doesn't make it ok.

I think your very strong to move forward and take a stance on what you want. I haven't had the courage to tell my husband I want a divorce. I ask myself what am I waiting for? I know I miss him even though he was so unstable and I was always waiting for something bad to happen. I was hoping that he'd "hit rock bottom" when I left but he hasn't.

Even though its scary to move forward I also look forward to being whole again.... I am glad you feel that way.

Mrs_KC
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/30/2012 - 5:48am
ugh....all this is so wrong,

ugh....all this is so wrong, why are the games more important?.....It just makes no sense, I can read all about it, but it still makes no sense. So sad to see / read that so many of us are suffering like this.

exazzy
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
It's not the game itself,

It's not the game itself, IMO, it's the escape mechanism.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 10 months 1 week ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
It's not the game that is so

It's not the game that is so important here, that's just the substance, it could be cocaine or heroin or alcohol...it's the addiction we are talking about.

Not all players end up addicted to the point that their families are thrashed by taking last place in the addicts lives.

It's the addiction that's at fault.

I'm the addict. My husband isn't when it comes to gaming, but he's an addict with alcohol (sober now though). Everything you all went through I went through with my still drinking husband. And he went through when I discovered games.

It's not the alcohol or the games. It's the addiction. I blame that.

The only diference with games that I can see, is that our society doesn't recognize it yet, so most people--when told about it--raise their eyebrow..oh really? well really. That won't be true 10 or 20 years from now.

starryeyed
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 12 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/23/2010 - 7:18pm
I can't imagine the pain and

I can't imagine the pain and confusion that must go on with spouses of gamers. Everyone wants their marriage to last forever but when is it enough!! Enough abuse, neglect and tears etc.

I started watching that program called Intervention where they actually give the addict an ultimatum. Basically shape up or ship out I guess. I think they go on the premise that if an addict chooses not to get help the families must hold to their hard line. Perhaps when the addicted ones stand to lose everything they will wake up, and if not, at least the rest of the family can pick up the pieces and go on.

I suppose if a spouse is still working and helping support the family and if occasionally joins in family activities - that might be a more liveable situation but then the non gaming partners must find a life of their own to enjoy as well.

All of us need wake up calls at some point or another in life and if things get so bad, the strength to move on and the courage to live life to the fulllest.

COwife
Offline
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 09/28/2012 - 4:13am
Omg thats what I told an old

Omg thats what I told an old friend of mine today.

So the DSM-5 (official list of recognized psychological disorders) will have computer/internet addiction in it but not--- videogame. Sigh but I know 10-20 years down the road things will be different.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 10 months 1 week ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Well, it's not surprising. 

Well, it's not surprising. We've had alcohol on this planet for thousands of years, smoking has been around a long time...and if you read any old books (written in the 1800s) laudenum was mentioned a lot.

I guess what we need to do, is remember what videogaming actually does to all of us (gamer and families and friends of..) and not count on the medical community "getting it" for awhile.

When I first got sober from AA there was a lot of flack then about whether alcoholism was a disease or not...I didn't really care if it was or not...I just wanted to quit drinking and couldn't.

Log in or register to post comments