I did IT, I took back My life the hard way!

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mystica312
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I did IT, I took back My life the hard way!

Well, I got tired of my husband telling me we had "time" to file for divorce even though he has his online lover and his game and friends who are more important than his family. I have been seperated for six weeks now with little to no contact to me or the kids, and he began the process of divorce but never finished or has he helped or seen the children at all since, not monetarily or otherwise. So I filed, and he will be served soon. This is not what I wanted, but I got tired of sitting around letting him control how my life was going to go and letting him think I was going to wait for him to see if his affair was really going to pan out or whatever was going on in his warped mind. He wanted her and his gaming, now he has her and no family due to his choices, and now my own. This is not to say it is going to be easy on any of us, but the freedom in the end is going to be so worth it. He told me a while back he had a friend in game who has a wife and a girlfriend, he is in love with them both but lives with the girlfriend, never filed papers with the wife so they are still legally married, if he thinks that is how we are doing this, NO WAY! I am not nuts, but I am starting to believe he is. Good luck to all of the recovering gamers and to all of the spouses and families out there, I wish all of you the best with this addiction. It has a way of destruction that no one can truly understand unless you live it, trust me I know.

so very tired

LaurelS9
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Congratulations on taking

Congratulations on taking your life back, Mystica. I'm praying that your husband can at least step up to the plate and be a better father, but if not, I'm so proud of you as a woman stopping this nowhere marriage. You get my vote.

ElizabethA
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I'm so glad you shared your

I'm so glad you shared your story here, Mystica. Its so important for both families of gamers and gamers themselves to see how things can "end". Our serenity prayer calls for the "courage to change the things I can"...and that is just what you have done with your life. Nope, its not easy, but I think when the wounds heal up, you will know you did the right thing for yourself and your children.

I wish you much peace from here on out and the start of new joy,

ElizA

.Left the games behind Tuesday, March 28, 2011...I have a new left knee and a lot more appreciation for the word "recovery"....blessings come in the darndest forms!

.

mystica312
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This is the hardest thing I

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life so far. I have a child with a chronic illness who needs a lot of attention and medication. This is going to be a new journey for all of us, but I know we can do it and must. He made his choices and I do mean all of them. He is truly delusional and lives in a world all his own. No one can help him we can only help ourselves and each other, and that is what we are concerning ourselves with. We are in pain no doubt, but we will get better, the fact is he will not. We all love him, his only emotional ties are to World of Warcraft and those in and from the game. That is what he wanted and that is what he shall have, we now have our freedom from it though, the hardest way possible. Don't worry, I am not going anywhere, people will still need support and I would love to offer it in anyway I can. And I thank all of you for your support as well, all though my story may not have had the ending I wanted, it may bring happiness I need in the end.

so very tired

Andrew_Doan
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Thanks for sharing. I hope

Thanks for sharing. I hope you'll find peace in your life.

Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD

My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.

Patria
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I am so sorry you are having

I am so sorry you are having to go through what you are going through, but you are doing the right thing for yourself and your children.

Your husband is in total denial and delusion, he'd rather have fantasy than a real life.

We definitely need you here on the site, not just for the families of gamers, but for gamers like me.

WOW was my game of choice, and I had NO IDEA how insidious it was; how my real life was not even real to me, and any thoughts of my husband was thoughts of "why can't he just leave me alone."

Thank God I found OLGA and could actually see that this is an addiction, and I really don't want to be addicted. I don't want to have my entire life wrapped up in pixels.

My heart goes out to you. My husband now has a real wife and partner to interact with. And I am so grateful.

mystica312
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I honestly would have loved

I honestly would have loved to have stayed married and remained a true family, but not under these conditions. I deserve better and so do my children, I deserve better than to be used, abused, and cheated on, and they deserve better than to be neglected and abused as well. I wish this epidemic was more widely known and could be as openly talked about as other addictions without people thinking you are nuts. I applaud everyone who has chosen to face their addictions and overcome them. I also applaud everyone who is in the situation and have chosen to either live their life in spite of it or stick it out and hope. I did that for a while, but it eventually became too much. And to you Patria, your views on how it used to be for you, is how he is now, and why no one wants anything to do with him except those either in or from the game world itself. He created his own bed, he now has to lie in it. Unfortunately, the innocent ones are the ones who suffer the greatest, the ones who truly had no choices. For that, I am the sorriest of all. Good luck everyone and my heart goes out to everyone on this site, and everyone who has and will continue to suffer from this, it will continue to grow. And I do plan on sticking around, my kids will continue to be affected without a father in their lives because of something no one can even begin to really comprehend.

so very tired

chopsticks
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Hugs!   You are brave and

Hugs! You are brave and doing the right thing. I will pray for you. Hugs.

wrkinprogrss
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I applaud your strength,

I applaud your strength, mystica! Best wishes for your free future!

wrkinprogrss

[img=200x150]http://www.public-domain-photos.com/free-stock-photos-4/ocean/wave-3.jpg[/img]

Aiming for eventual mastery in reality-surfing.

Twiggs
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I am so sorry this happened

I am so sorry this happened to you and your children. Being a wife and mother my heart aches for you. You know maybe people don't see it as the huge problem it is but if you were to tell someone that your husband spends x amount of hours a week on a game and ignores and avoids his family and responsibilities...the world would just simply classify him as a freeloader or loser. But the truth is he is an addict...but the flesh rises up in me and I tend to see my husband as the way the world would view him.

It is so pathetic that it has to come down to divorce.

I mean you know my husband got mad at me one night because I was talking to a friend on the phone...one night, one hour...he plays that MMA fighter game for 42 hours last week....but you can only take the rejection so much. You can only take all the roles for so long, before you are as you put it "so tired." I think this addiction has more to do with fantasy than the game. It seems that people involved in these games have problems often with pornography....so the are in a fantasy world in general.

But your're not crazy...and that is a good thing to know in this safe place. Here we are normal but to our addicted husbands we are nags, we are trying to control them, insecure, immature, irrational, and causing the problems in the relationship. Typical gaslighting ....

I hope your road is clear, easy and happy for you and your children. I am so sorry this happened.

mystica312
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Thank you everyone for the

Thank you everyone for the love and support. It is nice to be around people who truly understand what it is like to be in this situation. My road is uncertain at best, but it is mine now and I must do what is best for me and my kids and let him do whatever it is he feels is best for him. I do hope someday he finds his bottom and that he can begin to mend his relationship with his children, but for now they have made their decision and plan on sticking to it. I support whatever they decide to do, and they know that. We deserve freedom from this, and we deserve our own brand of happiness, not the oppression that comes from addiction. And this is what we will find in our way and time. One day at a time is all we can do right now, and that is what we are doing. Hugs to everyone.

so very tired

fer
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Hugs, mystica. I can only

Hugs, mystica. I can only imagine how difficult it's being to you right now.

You didn't walk out of this marriage; your husband did, by moving into this fantasy land and cheating on you.

You're taking your life in your own hands and looking after your child. I pray that you may have all the strength and wisdom that's necessary.

Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.

mystica312
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I have none and having more

I have none and having more issues with my child than you will ever know or understand. Seems she learned some tricks from dad that I wish she would never have learned and I feel I am at my breaking point yet again. Her therapist says she is an addict too, though a different sort, and I should not give up on her because she is in treatment, but one thing I learned is if they do not truly want help they will not receive it even if they are in treatment. how much does one person have to take before they lose their mind completely?

so very tired

Kyana
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Hello Mystica, Your story

Hello Mystica,

Your story touched me very much as you can understand.

Just wanted to send my support and hugs.

Take care

Kyana

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