I'm so glad I found Olga, it makes me feel less lonely as I'm going through something similar as many of you here.
I have been dating this man for a few months, when I met him, he didn't have internet connection in his flat so we would hang, watch films, go for a walk, go to the pub. He is a very quiet person, so it would be hard to get him talk much, still I found him adorable and with a very good and kind heart. After a few months, he got internet back, he had mentioned this game he had been playing for over a year called Evony, I got interested in it because he didn't talk much so I thought it would be a good way to share some of his interests and get him to talk more.
He opened an account for me and started teaching me how to play it. I started in this alliance he had founded, while he didn't have internet connection, he had given his account details to another player to look after his cities. He immediately introduced me as his girlfriend so people knew who I was. I didn't find the game too interesting to be honest and found it a chore sometimes. When I went over to his flat, we would still hang a bit, watch a film and then he would say: "come on baby, it's time to farm". We would play for a couple of hours, I was bored to dead to be honest, but saw he was happy so I played along.
I had to travel overseas which meant we had to be apart for 4 months, on our last night together he was playing Evony, I told him we should try to spend our last night in a different way instead of having a screen between us, he said only 30 minutes more. I went to bed and he followed me 30 minutes later.
We have been apart now for a month and we have been chatting and texting every single day. Unfortunately, his internet connection is very bad so the chat room we have been using is the Evony whisper. I find our dynamic quite unusual though, I am 6 ours behind so when I log in in the morning, he has been there for a while, we say hello a bit of a chat and then we go silent, I know he's working on his cities, so I go and do the same, it's a funny feeling as it feels like we are there together even if we don't speak, we feel our company. Eventually, he had a problem with the vice host of his alliance and he decided to quit he left that server and the alliance he had work on for over a year and spent a fortune on. I thought it was good to see he wasn't too attached to that, and he could leave it just like that, he started a new alliance with me in a new server though, which means I have been online for several hours trying to learn and build. I know I'm not addicted because I don't feel any passion for it, I do it as a job and because I know I will get to talk to him.
He has been talking about marriage and our lives together and our children's names etc. What worries me is that I'm going to end up like many wives here who have lost their husbands. I know he has an addictive behaviour, he smokes and drinks a lot. I love him very much and don't know what to do. Yesterday he told me I was everything he had ever wanted, he is everything I ever wanted except for his vices. Are they red flags? I had a couple of proposals in the past and declined because I felt it wasn't the right man, now it feels like this is the right man, but I'm not sure about his Evony playing, I'm afraid it could get worse. He is on holidays now and is in his flat all day so sometimes he plays for 10 hours straight. Some of his actions tell me he isn't that addicted, other times I feel he is. Any advice?
Thank you so much for opening this site to be able to express ourselves and show each other support.
Ann35