Ok, so don't exactly know how this works, but I have checked this site out a couple of times and can relate with so many. My b/f has been addicted to this game for over 5 months. Work was slow and he played so "he wasn't out spending money". We have argued over this obsessive behavior for months now, me crying, throwing ultimatums, threats and refusing to cook and clean (he was home playing while I worked). This is definatley an outlet for him to escape his fianancial situation. When confronted I was a nag and control freak. He was playing all day and night. For months I slept in the spare room so I could get some sleep w/o hearing him yelling at his online buddies. Now we have an agreement a couple nights a week after I go to bed and he is back to work. But when he plays till the wee hours of the morning and hits snooze and doesn't get up it is all my fault. Mind you I still sleep in the spare room on nights he plays. I thought that once he was back to work like an adult he would stop acting like a teenager.I really have a hard time understanind this obsession, the same game, same scenes, same people hours and days w/o stopping! Any thoughts or anyone with the same issue about this stupid game?
Anna Beth, we have had so many posts recently from those who have a gaming partner. The behaviors of the gamers are similar, as are the measures taken by the partners. I know that there was nothing we could do to stop our son from gaming. Had he been an adult, we would have cut him off entirely. So many here have tried and failed at any attempt to get their gamer parnter to quit. The bottom line is, the gamer has to recognize the addiction for him/herself and make the decision to change. If you are not married, I would strongly consider moving out. There is definitely someone better out there for you!
If you stay with him, do not expect him to change. You will be living this way the rest of your life. Your boyfriend IS a gamer. Liz
Liz Woolley
Hi Anna, I'll echo what the others have said. I'd strongly advise against getting any further committed to this man, whether that would be getting married, intertwining your finances, or having a child. It sounds like his games are much more important to him than you are. You are correct in that he's acting like a teenager... unfortunately many addicted gamers seem stuck at that age level and amount of emotional maturity. It's sad, but what would be sadder would be for you to throw away any more time on someone who is clearly uninterested in changing or treating you properly. Nobody is saying you have to walk out the door tonight, but I'd say definitely start making some plans. It is not your fate or penance or destiny to live this way, and nobody deserves to put up with it. Jane in CT
thank you
If i may shed light on something... I have played L4D before with some friends. Its not really my type of game, but let me explain something. Some games like L4D, CounterStrike, and others have few maps but almost endless possibilities. What it turns out to is like an action game of chess. Guys principally enjoy having this feeling that they are beating some other guy somewhere else, because he is being smarter, more cunning and better. Guys in general are very competitive (I am), and when presented with a game where everyone has equal chances of success, and what determines your victory or loss is only yourself, we tend to enjoy the feeling of victory a lot. Also to loath the feeling of defeat, but that usually just fires us up to try to improve on our skills, to come up with new strategies. I hope that explains why he seems to enjoy it so much. I have a similar problem, not as serious as his, but still I know i have a problem with gaming. Neway... just hope that might explain a thing or two... You know when he will wake up? When he realises that in the end no one in his real life circle gives a **** about the game besides himself. And that it in the end is just gonna ruin the things he has that he values the most. Family, career, friendships , etc. That's what is happening to me right now, I realize playing DotA (a strategy game) for the past 6 years while lots of fun, really helped me accomplish nothing, and instead almost made me jeopardize my future. I made my parents angry and disappointed, and lowered my grades in university, all because instead of studying i was having too much fun in a game. Well good luck with your future plans. I would advise as well for you to take some time from him, if you walk away he might wake up. If it has only been 5 months maybe he hasn't built a lot of connection to the game yet, and it might not be too hard for him to let go. For him to get a shock like that might make him realize he is being stupid. If he doesn't within a reasonably short period, expect that he wont change for a long while, because when you get caught up in a gaming atmosphere, it takes time to realize how damaging it is to your life.
thanks again