I've been working on moving on from my WoW addicted husband. I've grown tired of hearing how it's all my fault, how much of an evil **** I am, blah blah blah. I'm sick of our young children suffering. I'm tired of his abuse.
We are starting counseling soon, but I don't expect much as he is a chronic liar.
I don't want to destroy our family, but I don't want to live like this anymore. I need more than I am getting from this nightmare.
For those of you that have succeeded, please share what has helped you move on. I am working on strengthening my relationship with God, but it has not helped in months of prayers and bible studies.
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Hi DWD,
I only popped in to answer some PMs, but saw your post. As it is a holiday weekend, I suspect there will not be too may of us around for any substantial period of time.
My tip: Read the board and the stories of others in your situation. I am certain some of the others will pop in and say hi at some stage.
YOU are not destroying your family. This is NOT your doing. The WOW addicted husband is the guilty party here.
As for "Chronic Liar" yes it is a common trait- in my case, he was a chronic liar long before the games- I am not sure if yours became a liar to protect his gaming addiction- but this is known to happen as well.
Take care of yourself and the children.
HI, after many seperations, my gamer is finally gone, Thanksgiving was hard, but easier than if he had been here. I remembered how he ruined my birthday, the bottles of urine he left in that room,the never knowing what he would do next, and of course the verbal abuse. I draw on my friends and family, I've been writing my feelings in a journal. We went to counseling as well, but it really didn't help, good luck to you, but be prepared. You may want to consider counseling for yourself. Do something for yourself and your kids, plan a daily activity, it can be as simple as painting a birdhouse. Hang in there, we know what you are going through.
Good morning DWD,
I'm so sorry that you, and especially your children, find yourselves in this situation. Your family certainly isn't the first to suffer, and perhaps ultimately implode, over WoW.
As you probably see from looking around the site, if your husband isn't anywhere near admitting, to himself or anyone else, that he has a serious problem with WoW, he isn't going to start to heal. You are right that many of his unpleasant character traits may have grown up to protect his addiction, I am sure you didn't intentionally marry a chronic liar. Since you cannot force or coerce or threaten your husband into recovery, the only person you can influence is yourself.
There is no reason that you, and your kids, have to spend the rest of your lives staring at the back of your husband's head, waiting for him to "snap out of it"... which he may never do. There will be some great years of your life, and the precious years of your children's childhood, gone. What you can do is have fun and make friends and do interesting stuff, without him.
Yes, I know finances are tight these days. Nobody is saying you have to take the kids to Disney World or on a shopping spree. But, there are literally thousands of interesting things you can do together that cost little or nothing. Explore your community - take a hike or a long walk together. Volunteer together, there are so many programs that need your help these days. Start a little garden. Do an art project. I know logistically it can be hard but it is SO worth it to get out there and experience life and your time together. The point is to get out, to enjoy yourselves and to stop letting your husband's illness define your family. A great side benefit will be that your kids will get to experience real life, and hopefully this will make them less likely to follow their dad into addiction (and believe me, we see this all the time).
Another thought is to consider, perhaps through your church, exposing your kids to positive male role models. If your husband isn't going to fill the bill, then you'll need to do double-duty, and you'll need help and support with that.
I know it's sad and lonely. And, how ridiculous, that your husband would rather spend time with his imaginary friends than his real life wife and children. But, that's the choice he's made, at least for now, and your job is to figure out how to salvage as much happiness and positivity as you can.
Jane in CT