One week in

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Tand
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Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
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Joined: 09/15/2012 - 10:34am
One week in

Hello all

I have just recently come to the realization that I was addicted to gaming. I had played WoW and other MMOs on and off for nearly a decade but I always thought I was just finding an outlet to spend my spare time. Well, it took a life changing event for me to realize what I was really doing. My girlfriend of about 4 years, who I am still madly in love with, told me almost two weeks ago that this relationship was no longer feasible. She said we were fundamentally different and we just couldn't be together anymore. Believe it or not, I agreed with her even though I knew it wasn't true. She thought we were different because I had spent the last 8 months pushing her away so that I could invest more time in Star Wars, the Old Republic. I pushed everything out my life to play that game and I tricked myself into thinking it was what I wanted. Well, it wasn't. About an hour after this conversation I was playing SWTOR happily thinking about all the free time I had when I realized what had just happened. I broke down and sobbed for days and days. Hell, I'm still sobbing pretty frequently. I loved her and still do, but when I played SWTOR the world just slipped away and it all seemed completely unimportant.

The only upside is that from losing her I finally came to see that I was addicted and it was out of control. I have been doing everything since then to beat this addiction and start my life over. I lost contact with nearly all my friends while I was gaming so I honestly don't have anyone to help me get through all the stuff I'm going through. I've also just recently moved to a new town where I feel very out of place and lost. I'm living alone and I'm just struggling through everyday trying to feel happy and at peace, but the truth is I'm lonely and extremely fragile. I'm either going through withdrawal from games, crying my eyes out over my lost love, or desperately trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B in my new city. I was watching the documentary Second Skin and found out about Gamers Anonymous. At that moment I paused the video and signed up. I hope to share my experience as I work through my recovery and I hope I'll be able to share the joy of watching and helping others succeed in leaving gaming behind. Here's to new beginnings

Kate1song
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Joined: 10/15/2010 - 10:19am
Good to hear from you Tand.

Good to hear from you Tand. There is a lot of support here. I suggest you come to some of the chat meetings. It feels good to talk to others who are/have gone through what you are going through.

I suggest you take it easy, one step in front of the other and keep heart. You can beat this.

Hugs

There are nightly open chat meetings (9 p.m. EST) in the Olga chatroom.

Tand
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Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
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Joined: 09/15/2012 - 10:34am
Thank you Kate! I will try

Thank you Kate! I will try to be in the meetings whenever I can. :)

Clouds
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Joined: 08/28/2012 - 10:41pm
Hi Tand, Like you, I'm new

Hi Tand,

Like you, I'm new to Olga. I've not been here long but I know you've come to a good place. I'd encourage you to read the posts here and to post yourself--writing things out seems to help a lot. There's a wealth of information here to help.

All the best with your recovery,

Clouds

exazzy
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Joined: 05/27/2012 - 6:36pm
I'm sorry that it took such

I'm sorry that it took such a traumatic experience to open your eyes, but for a lot of us (myself included) that's what it takes to show us how bad its gotten. How bad we've gotten. I'm sure I had the thought that my life would be simpler (meaning, more time for gaming) if my wife decided to leave me, and hrmmm, I guess she would have taken the kids, either way, not like I'd watch them. Then I'd have LOTS of 'empty time' ... to play games more ... man, I sure would have. Sheesh. Addiction is insanity indeed.

Anyway, welcome Tand, hope to see you at a meeting soon.

Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.

dan1
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Joined: 05/04/2012 - 6:42pm
Tand: Welcome.  It was good

Tand:

Welcome. It was good to see you at the meeting tonight. You have a good head on your shoulders, it just that it's an addicted one. And you realized that and took action, which is huge. As things get better for you (and they will), your ability to see things clearly will improve even more. You actually have an awesome start. I look forward to seeing you around.

I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.

Rainmaker_9 (not verified)
Tand- Welcome to Olga ;)

Tand-

Welcome to Olga ;) you're off to a great start! Admiting there's a problem and sharing it with others is a big step. Keep reading posts and coming back it works!!?

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