I have just recently come to the realization that I was addicted to gaming. I had played WoW and other MMOs on and off for nearly a decade but I always thought I was just finding an outlet to spend my spare time. Well, it took a life changing event for me to realize what I was really doing. My girlfriend of about 4 years, who I am still madly in love with, told me almost two weeks ago that this relationship was no longer feasible. She said we were fundamentally different and we just couldn't be together anymore. Believe it or not, I agreed with her even though I knew it wasn't true. She thought we were different because I had spent the last 8 months pushing her away so that I could invest more time in Star Wars, the Old Republic. I pushed everything out my life to play that game and I tricked myself into thinking it was what I wanted. Well, it wasn't. About an hour after this conversation I was playing SWTOR happily thinking about all the free time I had when I realized what had just happened. I broke down and sobbed for days and days. Hell, I'm still sobbing pretty frequently. I loved her and still do, but when I played SWTOR the world just slipped away and it all seemed completely unimportant.
The only upside is that from losing her I finally came to see that I was addicted and it was out of control. I have been doing everything since then to beat this addiction and start my life over. I lost contact with nearly all my friends while I was gaming so I honestly don't have anyone to help me get through all the stuff I'm going through. I've also just recently moved to a new town where I feel very out of place and lost. I'm living alone and I'm just struggling through everyday trying to feel happy and at peace, but the truth is I'm lonely and extremely fragile. I'm either going through withdrawal from games, crying my eyes out over my lost love, or desperately trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B in my new city. I was watching the documentary Second Skin and found out about Gamers Anonymous. At that moment I paused the video and signed up. I hope to share my experience as I work through my recovery and I hope I'll be able to share the joy of watching and helping others succeed in leaving gaming behind. Here's to new beginnings