I'm OVER IT!!!

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
Fmcd
Offline
Last seen: 8 months 6 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/27/2014 - 3:29pm
I'm OVER IT!!!

For 3 years I have invested time and love including starting a business w my boyfriend. He is addicted to gaming and plays Destiny all the time. I'm ****ed angry and over it. We don't have fun anymore and usually when I have to ASK for sex I am rushed. I feel so much resentment that I have smashed controllers and broken doors over this. I was married for 10 years prior to this relationship and never once broke anything. It has made me crazy and left me feeling rejected. He plays nightly and never can take a night off from it. Unless we are out of town. I keep reading everyone's posts and it's all the same story. Why do any of us feel we should put up with this? I have spent so much of my energy that I have sucked the life out of myself! I go to bed angry and wake up in the middle of the night angry because he's still playing. Now w other women too. I asked for a tiny compromise and was told no. Done????

Andrew_Doan
Andrew_Doan's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 weeks 16 hours ago
Board MemberOLG-Anon memberOLGA memberOutreach
Joined: 06/13/2011 - 9:37am
I am glad you found OLGA. I

I am glad you found OLGA. I am sorry for your situation. Many are in the same boat!

Does your boyfriend recognize he has a problem with gaming?

Does your boyfriend want help?

If the answers are NO, then you need to focus on you and your health.

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

Fmcd
Offline
Last seen: 8 months 6 days ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/27/2014 - 3:29pm
Hi Andrew, No he does NOT

Hi Andrew, No he does NOT feel he is in the wrong at all, or that it's excessive. We argue about it daily. It's ruined what I thought was a great relationship. It's only gotten worse as time has passed. Here are quotes you have maybe said and heard a million times : "if you didn't nag me so much I wouldn't play so much". "It's my release after working long hours". "You knew this when I met you, Im not going to change". "Sorry, I can't take one night off for you a week, that is asking too much".

I want to free myself and walk away. But I love him and have a business and life with him. I have lost so much respect for myself and for him. He is Unwilling to even cut back a LITTLE bit. I asked for one night on the weekend where we spend all day and the night together and he said "no". The ultimate rejection from a man.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Polga
Polga's picture
Offline
Last seen: 10 hours 41 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome Fmcd If your BF is

Welcome Fmcd

If your BF is an addict then he will not be able to moderate and be happy, in the same way a drug addict would use drugs if they were available to him even though you begged him to maybe delay a couple of hours. He is just going crazy waiting for his next fix and you are the person in the way of him getting that fix. Like drug addicts, the addiction changes their personality and makes them into selfish, manipulative and uncaring people. It also dupes themselves into thinking that they are being reasonable in their attitude. I look on it as an illness that has them in it's grip. They did not chose to be addicted. It just happened.

It's good that you know your boundaries; that you do not want to live this way. Hold on to that. Respect your own feelings about it and do not be swayed by those who do not understand.

We cannot change the choices of the gamer, their recovery is up to them. We can only support them if they want to change. They have to do the work. But we can look after ourselves and detach from the gaming behaviour so that we are no longer worrying and nagging at them. We can find support and friendship elsewhere. We can go out and start new interests on our own. This can be done in or out of the relationship.

If he doesn't think its a problem and nothing changes, he is unlikely to want or need to change.

I found it really helpful to read other members posts. The Blue sticky area at the top of the forum is a good place to start.

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author Unknown

juliet
Offline
Last seen: 7 months 3 weeks ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/09/2015 - 8:13pm
Sounds familiar... me too.

Sounds familiar... me too. We used to have a date night but now I feel like he's dating his gamer buddy.

Log in or register to post comments