Me: single mother of 3 full time college student.
I play everquest. Been playing roughly 3 years. I enjoy playing and have developed a community of everquest "friends" at whom most of I have had the opportunity of socializing out of game with. I play just about everyday for aprox 2 hours. My highest character is 65 and in my 3 years have played 3 characters to above 50.
I am in a guild that is very low demand. We dont raid and just kinda have a social bond. I am also in a RPguild that i enjoy alot there again is low demand.
My day consists of taking kids to school going to school various extra activities swimming lessons dance lessons ect. I spend alot of time with my kids during the afternoons and until bedtime. I have no outside nightlife because I am a single mother and do not trust people to care for my children. It is hard tofind a worthy babysitter.
Once bedtime story is told and lights are out it is my time. I immediately go online and check the webpages to see if anything fun is going on for the evening. After about half hour of surfing i log into EQ.
I am very pleased with the latest expansion cause I actually get to group regularly now. before since i only had 2 to 3 hours grouping was difficult.
I chat with my friends and explore quest raid or whatever i decide and promptly at 12am I say farewells. Whether im tired or not. I often log on with an everquest friend on yahooIM after i play and chat about RL and such. EQ is hard to REALLY talk about RL cause you get interrupted with gaming issues. So we log off to talk important stuff.
My mother thinks im crazy for playing. She reads al these articles about it and thinks i should seek some help.
There have been times in mylife where gaming just wasnt going to fit in my schedule. So i post my leave and dont come back for a few months. Mostly this happens when i am working second shift. I do not spend daylight hours playing comp games cause i would much rather be with my kids. When I am on leave from playing I generally dont think much about EQ until i chat with friends fromthe game outside the game when they mention it to me. But i dont gothru withdrawls and i dont increase myplaytime or dream about eq.
So now what do you think? I have taking the screenings and such and havent come up with an adiction from my analysis. So now i want to hear if you do and why?
Thanks
Crystie
Dear Crystie,
We leave it up to the individual to decide if they have a problem.
Look at your life. If you weren't playing the game, what would you do? Read, watch tv, quilt, do scrapbooking, take a hot bath, visit your family, clean the house, etc. It is really up to you, to get to know yourself, and make goals for yourself.
In my opinion, gaming can be a social event - much like having a drink in a bar. Nothing concrete is accomplished, yet a social need is being met.
As I grow older, I find that social activitities became less important, to me, and I decided I wanted to actually see concrete evidence in my life, of what I had done. But I know, that in my "younger years" the social aspect of my life was very important.
The easiest question I found, was to ask myself, is this causing a problem in my life, OR in my family and friends lives. A lot of times, we don't see something that others see, that is why it is very importand to also ask you family and friends what they see happening.
I think it is very caring of your Mother to be concerned for you. I know she only wants the best for you. You may want to talk to her about it, and ask her what exactly she sees you are missing in real life, by playing the games. Listen to what she has to say. And she could just afraid that you might get addicted to it --- which can happen slowly, and without our even realizing it.
Thanks for coming and taking the tests.
I wish the best for you.
Feel free to keep coming back, and share ifyou would like!
Liz
Liz Woolley
Crystie, on one hand it is very simple. Just be honest with yourself when doing some self-analysis.
It often is very hard to be honest with even ourselves with regard to this topic. Many of us were not honest with ourselves concerning our gameplay.
Just do an honest self-assessment and you'll have your answer!
Considering she's a college student- drugs, sex, crime.... she's better off playing EQ.
Right - college student - I forgot. They have a different mentality. She could actually be doing her school work, and God forbid, pass her class!
Liz Woolley
EQ is horrible for college students, Seeing as how I am one it takes up so much time that I began to not go to class or to sleep very much. No one is better off playing a game if they are addicted to it and playign compulsivley than if they were compulsivley drinking beer or having sex.
Aaron Blair
EQ isn't "horrible for college students."
EQ is horrible for anybody who begins to lose sight of their own personal goals or health needs for ANY type of addiction because of ANY game's addictive nature.
As a full time college student with a 3.13 GPA in Computer and Systems Engineering, I admit to playing many hours of EQ. I don't skip class or lose sleep more than any other normal college student.
Don't blame a game for your own addictive nature... because if a game isn't entertaining enough to be somewhat addictive, it kind of loses the whole point of being a form of entertainment.
Here's a thing.
People often say " You should stop playing XXX game , and go get a " real life hobby " - make a trainset, build little soldiers, go train spotting ( ok maybe not the last ) "
Surely then, spending 2 hours at night doing one of these is exactly the same as spending 2 hours at night playing a game?
Aslong as you dont let ANY hobby interrupt real life, in that, your children are being looked after, your looking after yourself and your needs. Then i would say everythings fine. Aslong as your not putting off any important real life events to play the game " Job interview? Hah! No chance! " etc theres no problem.
The one thing you didn't see in that first post was the mention of a job. She didn't mention it so she probably lives at home. If her mom/parents are ok with that, then fine. But unless she wants to live with her/them until she is 40+ and her kids move out on their own, she will need to get a job/career/partner at some point.
Whether 2 hours a day is a problem or not depends upon the individual and her situation. If her kids and family and friends aren't bothered by her 2 hours a night and she isn't neglecting anything, then she's probably fine.
Just an observation
Ron
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002