I'd like to start a thread for those who have made progress away from the games and back into their real lives to share just one thing that was part of your healing process that helped you along the way. I'll start.
For me, I have to say it was reconnecting with friends I had 'forgotten' while in the midst of my playing. They served as helpers, helping me transition from my 'online' life back into my real life. It was a little hard at first approaching them, but when I shared my story, it really helped my healing process alot. Each time I told about how I was playing online games so much I healed a little more.
So what has worked for you?
Ron
Edited by: lizwool at: 10/1/06 13:05
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Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
I am really interested in what everyone has to say, but I can't view their responses, any suggestions? I am the girlfriend of a XBOXlive addict who is in denile. I am hoping to find some helpful tips to bring him back!
By the way, I think it's great that you give up the games! congrats!
What is working for me so far is to appreciate the feeling of "connectedness" I now have to the actual world. I noticed after several months of playing that I had become quite disassociated from anything but my online game. I felt numb and spacey much of the time and I hated it. I felt like I wasn't really there, even when I was with my family or friends, and really trying to pay attention to them. Whenever I am tempted to go back I think about how wonderful it is to be fully engaged and "in" the world.
One thing that works for me, is coming to these boards several times a day, to be reassured that I am not the only one feeling "effects" as a result of these games.
This was an excellent post, before the disaster in May happened.
I hope our "old timers" will respond to it, again.
Liz
Liz Woolley
Music, nature, sex, jokes, "heavy work", talking talking, writing about my feelings, experiences and actions, visiting OLGA every day helps a lot
I went back to school. Granted, I was never deep into WoW, but returning to college and setting my sights back where they belong absolutely changed everything. I still play on weekends in small doses, but I've found a focus for all of that energy - my future, not just the present.
And it's not half bad.
Obviously not your average response, but it was a budding relationship that pulled me out. I knew that I would never respect myself playing a game obsessively while trying to truly love a girl. It started the process.
I then kicked into high gear when I began to recover my faith. I'll never go back to MMO's again.
- Jordan
Love & Yoga works for me
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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.
Seeing the smile on my best friends face return, the love of my life, my dear wife! :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
As Liz said, coming to this site and knowing I am not alone! I do feel so very alone sometimes even in a crowded room. Also Riding my motorcycle.
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
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Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
A day at a time is what works for me.
Well my parents kinda pushed me into quiting...they took everything away from me including my door. But i joined tech and started hanging with my friends more. it's amazing how much i missed over the 1.5yrs i played...i've looked at pics of my friends thinking i was playing games while they were playing life
A combination of being with people who care and getting out (bike, walk, whatever) and getting some exercise!
I found a girl and began to really like her, than told her to leave me if she ever gets word that I've been playing an MMO. I guess you can say I blackmailed myself.
What worked for me was moderation 2-3 hours 2 or 3 days a week. So far its been good and i've been commited to it.
what worked for me was the love of my life for the last 13 years saying "I want a divorce" It was much easier to picture my life without gaming than without her...
I have been "deinstalled" for a bit more than a week now ... I found that physical movement takes the edge of my gaming urge. Whenever I start to think about strategies, units and so on (Im an RTS addict) I drive my bike to the river and swim for 10-15 minutes. Afterwards my body feels good and that reminds me that gaming makes my body feel bad.
What worked for me was the feeling that I am in control of my own life, to decide that I will not play video games and actually not do it no matter how tempted I may be.
- John O.
[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)
For me, is to take the leap and get involved in my community. I tend to have a very quiet phone. I can spend a whole weekend in the house and talk to absoulutely no one (except my cats). Why is my phone silent? I don't call people and they don't call me. I make excuses and it works--I play instead of get out of my stuff. The phone. A neglected tool for isolation and gaming. Use it and have no time to feel bad and game. Distract by games or phone.....ummm...Phone? ;) I'll be back, D
I Have now put my wife and I as priorities in my life. The family as a whole will and does follow. I learned that I have made better and stronger decisions by making my wife and I a priority. Also the respect level has greatly increased. You know the drill when you are on an airplane and the steward says" If the mask fall from above, take care of yourself first then the children". Well it is working for my family.
When I was playing World of Warcraft so much I never felt really good and at peace, always slightly tired. On my third morning of eating healthy and getting out to exercise I woke up and felt some of that peace and restedness. I'm not tired. I feel really good and it encourages me to continue not playing. Reading the stories here is going to come in so handy when I forget the suffering and discomfort of too much Wow, and it has really encouraged me so far.
1. My doctor said I was killing myself. I ate Doritoes and Coke, pizza delivery, and never slept.
2. So I tried abandoning on line games for single player, that was really hard. I wanted to go back.
3. I gave my PS2 and all the games to my son and started seeing my friends again, Making music, and Riding my motorcyle.
4. Then I found OLGA. Now I come here every day, to read and learn.
Do you really want your son to be playing--even if it is just the PS2? By the way did anyone notice we haven't heard from Joshan for a while?
[size=14] Uh Oh, Another biker has joined !!! Be careful they will call us a "biker gang" soon 8) I like getting out on my bike as much as I can. It is a good way for me to get out, enjoy the weather and it keeps me from thinking about games. [/size]
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
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Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
Keep the rubber side down. ;)
Same as many others have said... -Coming here daily, reading, writing, sharing -Trusting my game's account to a friend who changed the password
-Finally realizing how much un-fun it is to play, too much work not enough fun
-Mountain bike rides, as much as possible
-Sitting on the roof of my house, staring at the city lights at night
-Talking to friends, family, sharing, comminucating
Do you need a sponsor? I can help.
Whenever I was playing games I would stand back and say to myself, "WOW I played for 84 hours this week!" I did not even know that was possible. Then I thought, I wondered what my life would be if I spent 84 hours a week on say something positive? Well now I do that and that is what keeps me from going back. I work on my real life character and not something fake because in the end the last and only thing you can do is hit "delete character" Then you ask what was all that time used for? It was all wasted. What a shame.
For me, the first show-stopper and ultimate beginning of the end of my gaming days was my girlfriend telefaxing me (I had not been picking up the phone for days) "If you love someone, you want them to love you too ... if you donA't love me, I wonA't love you too" My world broke down when I received that message.
This is the only thing that could have worked for me as well. But, in addition to my girlfriend, it was my other friends, parents, scholarships... knowing, really trusting and knowing that all these would vanish from my life.
I've had addictions to games before - mainly Diablo II LOD and i lost my life to it. So for WoW i try my best to not let it happen. What helps me most is that if i have something to do i rip myself away from the game. If a friend calls i rip myself away and go do something with them. I make sure that i am only playing in my FREE time! I never pass up anything real for the game, and i remind myself that it's pretty creepy if i do.
Among other things, physical training. I've lost 25 pounds... 188 to 163 (I'm 40 years old, 5' 5") and four inches off my waist, while gaining 1.5 pounds lean body mass. Moreover, I'm sleeping better, looking really hot (lol) needing fewer meds for depression and taking up running. Wait for an update after my first 10 K race on June 22. -Brad
The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Unfortunately what finally convinced me to cut gaming time WAYYYYYYYYYYYY down was an extreme shock and disappointment, i managed to fail every single one of my final exams, when i should have been studying i was in fact just sitting playing world of warcraft. If you really wanna try get especially kids who are doing major exams in there year at school tell them about my experience, opening the exam envelope thinking 3 C's and 2 B's and its off to university with me for be greeted by 5 F's. It is probably THE most devastating thing in my life so far.
That sounds so very familiar! I came close to being kicked out of college at the end of the 2006/07 academic year due to bad grades caused by constant WoW playing, but barely made it through the exams. There is no way of balancing studies with an MMO, it just doesn't work and all it brings is heartbreak. And in answer to the original topic? Same as bgh - physical training. I've been running since I quit WoW and I ran my first 5k race last weekend (finished in 30.24) and I'm running another race this weekend (5 miles this time - hoping to finish in about 55 minutes, yeah I'm slow). I've also lost 22lbs since I stopped playing - went from 207 to 185 @ 5'7". The other thing I do is get very wrapped up in my studies! I'm back at college too, and I've a lot of work to do at the moment. 400-level CS courses tend to be like that!
When temptation brings me to my knees, And I lay here drained of strength
Show me kindness, Show me beauty, Show me truth
(Dream Theater - Learning To Live, 1992)
WoW-free since July 11, 2008.
a sponsor has been a tremendous help to me. getting up and getting away from the computer to walk my dogs or go to they gym helps. prayer helps. asking for a hug from my husband helps. getting back into my favorite hobby of quilting helps. gardening helps. a good book helps. reading wow detox helps. i have even taken an extra shower to get my mind refocused.all the "little things" in life save me day in day out from wow.
Take the first step in faith. You donaEU(tm)t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
~Bob Newhart
The minute you alter your perception of yourself and your future, both you and your future begin to change. ~Marilee Zdenek
I think that is what I need, I have been playing machines for a while and winning and loosing, lossing a lot more, but we always have the hope of the next hit and not giving up until all the pennies are gone, maybe if I start participating on on-line chats with this program, will help me overcome the need to be in front of the slots. i would like to hear some more about your recovers and adictions.
Reading has been great for me. Reading about on-line addiction has helped me, mainly as I started to recognise the symptoms on myself. I knew it was time to stop WOW when it was becoming my main preoccupation and had started affecting other aspects of my life. Of course it was not only WoW, I had similar experiences playing other games (both on-line and off-line), but WoW was the game that brought the realization that my grades and my work were being affected. So I am glad I was able to stop, by simply not renewing the subscription.
yeah, my problem is when i start playing games it is hard for me to stop. i just get sucked in, and don't know how to stop after a certain amount of time. It's mainly when I am at home with nobody around that I start playing games, except my mom. She thinks it gets a little excessive, and I don't really think much of it. I really want to be able to moderate myself down to only a couple hours but it's hard for me, and I don't know what to do to stop playing once, i started. I have a girlfriend and a bunch of friends that help, when I am not at home and hanging out with them I don't think about video games, but when I am at home I start playing and then have trouble stopping on my own, until my mom starts yapping at me. I know it's a problem, and I want to show that I can moderate myself but I don't know how. Any suggestions? I play lots of online games, mostly Halo.
It sounds like you've already made a good first step, you know you have a slight problem and you're doing something about it sooner rather than later. I suggest you trust your mother to keep track of time for you, and leave when she wants rather than when you want, she won't lose track of time like you can. Good luck to you. :|
Leveling in Real Life
I'm into cars now. It's really great; whatever memory and data bank system I have in my brain, I can use to learn more about cars and stuff.
Hi, I would suggest you to search about this on internet. There is lots of information available on net. You can also visit to drug rehabilitation center. CSK
I want to thank all the people who have made this website possible. I had no idea help existed. I thought I had to weather it alone. I know this doesn't work for most people but I have to go cold turkey. I quit smoking cold turkey, quit eating meat cold turkey. This morning I quit Second Life cold turkey. I am feeling the effects of it now but I am sure in the long run I will feel the effects of STOPPING the insanity. Right now its hard.
Congrats on walking away from Second Life. Personally, I don't think I could ever quit eating cold turkey cold turkey. ;) Seriously though, welcome back to your first life. -Brad
The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Well, I havn't played Call of Duty WaW for like 8 days now. For me I was the #1 hq kills leader in the world and I was 5th in the world for total kills out of millions! I also had the best K/D in the world too up to a certain amount of kills. I find even though I'm trying to re-connect with people and see my girlfriend and friends more that I'm still having extreme troubles concentrating and my depression is terrible without the game. My daily schedule would usually be me waking up at like 5pm then play videogames till 7am then sleep till 5pm again and sometimes not even sleep... All I find myself wanting to do now is sleep ALL DAY LONG to avoid life and people. I mean I don't get it I used to love people and activities until I got injured for running and got abused at college. Then the game just took everything away cause I was the BEST EVER at playing it. I guess the game took so much concentation to be the best it took what happened to me at colege off if my mind!! I honestly think I may have developed a mental disorder from playing too much and concentratiing too hard, because I've ad-hd anyways
Addicted to Call of Duty
I use to run a 16:53 5k in high school and a 10:16 twomile and that was actually how I got into college. I was a captain for Cross Country and spring track. Then my flat feet started some SERIOUS PROBLEMS up that stopped my running career the summer before college and thats when I started smoking ciggs and playing videogames! I even stopped partying with friends and hanging out just to play Call of Duty 2 on xbox. I am extremely competitive and Call OF DUTY JUST HIT THE SPOT. It gave me the best high over and over again! It had only took me 2 months to get to the skill level that players who were playing for over 2 year had!!!! Then at my college I couldn't hook it up or run and that got me depressed.... I just stopped going to classes and drinking
Addicted to Call of Duty
Day one of no Second Life. I got the ultimatum from my partner yesterday after seeing that I had married, bought homes, and even mailed my online wife gifts. I knew after the second day that I would become addicted to Second Life...just as I had once been addicted to Dark Age of Camelot. Knew it and let it happen. It nearly ruined my relationship, yet she gave me a second chance, and allowed me to play again, but I turned around and did the exact same thing. AM I really in love with these SL people? No. Do I want to meet them in RL? No. Does that make this any less of an addiction or threat? Nope. I am addicted. We all are, and for a million different reasons. I am a successful professional with 9 published novels, a wonderful partner, and a great real life. For me, the addiction isn't abut escapism (I do that enough when writing) or needing to feel better (I play opposite gender avatar). Problem is, I don't really know WHY I am addicted. My characters live quiet, peaceful lives of boring married couples. No drama, no clubbing. It's weird. And...it was destroying my life. I couldn't go on for an hour or two. I teach online, so it was always running in the background...I was always connected. I even left my avatars in bed with their wives all night, waking up in the morning to have coffee together and chat about our day. Could I BE any more boring? But I am in trouble here. Day one away and I am already thinking about how ad when I can get back on...I don't have the courage to delete my guys. I know that I will no longer be prisoner of this game once they are gone, but right now, I can't do that. I am here because I need help. Lots of help. I loved the game. Loved the characters. Loved all it had to offer. I cannot do this alone. I am seeking traditional therapy as well because something must be wrong with me. I just don't know what it is. Thank you for being here.
And you are in the right place, if you want to recover from the SL tragedy. There are many current SL addicts who meet regularly here in our online meetings and also who post. Welcome to Recovery!
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
This is the place to be... Already I'M seeing results, although I'm still in contact with certain things about my game, I'm not actually playing it
Addicted to Call of Duty
There is so much in these posts I don't get. How a person can let a single activity take over their entire life mystifies me. That may be the source of my somewhat irascible attitude toward some of the things Olganon stands for.
It's called addiction, Spackle. Scientists everywhere are still trying to understand it. We support those who suffer from its effects.
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
Irascible = Angry = Fear
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
im new this forum. i've looked high and low for a chat room that had others like myself. a compulsive gambler. i liked what i saw and what i've read. i hope i'm not disappointed. i've come for advise on ways to cope with the terrible urge to go to the casinos. my family i have let down. i have one daughter who will talk to me and another whos turned her back on me but not for good reason. im tired of hurting the ones i love so much. :(