Step 3

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Diggo McDiggity
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Step 3

Step 3:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Spiritual Principle - Faith

We choose to let go of self-will.

What does this mean?  It simply asks that we make a decision that involves giving up control of our lives and to hand it over to the God of our understanding.  That's a scary concept -- to submit our lives over to some entity that we don't even know?  But that's why the phrase "God as we understood Him" is included.  This implies that our understanding of God is an evolving matter.  It continues to grow, provided that we work on our spirituality.  Therefore our ability to trust in this Higher Power is related to our current understanding of Him (or whatever you wish to call your Higher Power).

This step is not limited to online game addiction.  In fact, all these steps are applicable to all aspects of our lives.  But as a concrete example specific to online gaming, one can apply this step by making a decision to give up control of gaming and to trust that there is a higher being that is able to empower you to stop your addictive behavior and to remove your obssessive thoughts, as wellA  Taking this step basically calls you to give up your decision making with regard to whatever it is and to be willing to accept and carry out your understanding of God's will with regard to the matter at hand.

A prayer we can say is: God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

Liz W.

Yeah, this step is a freebee in a sense. But it has a hidden trap. While there is nothing physical to do, it requires the most important part of undertaking a healing process such as this...the leap of faith.

I remember in Indiana Jones, he had to cross over an "invisible" bridge to get to a platform where the Holy Grail was that he had been searching. He nervously thought about it as the ground rumbled around him, until he finally literally took a leap of faith and was able to cross the bridge. Those who tried to cross but who did NOT have the faith, fell to their death in the dark abyss below.

I think this step can manifest itself in many ways. Often it can be accomplished merely by praying, because prayer in a sense is a leap of faith which infers turning over one's life to God or his higher power, or whatever he wishes to call it.

This step can also be terrifying...especially for someone who has never before made a 'leap' such as this. But wow, how it can change lives once someone does it sincerely. While my faith is not Christian, my spirituality is filled with faith of various levels. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard to trust, but the more one does it, the easier it becomes. 

Ron

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Tosha (not verified)
This is a hard step for me.

This is a hard step for me. I was raised in a very conservative religious household. When I left home, I rebelled and didn't want anything to do with religion. When I got married, my mother-in-law was the first person I met that had a healthy view of religion. She had so much faith and I always wished I was more like her. She never worried about anything because she knew God would take care of her. I miss her very much since my divorce.

I have been at odds with religion most of my life. So when it says give up my life and hand it over to Him or a greater power, it is very difficult for me. Something that I need to work through in my mind. Tosha

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Step 3

Aryianna, how long does someone stay at the particular steps? I know it's different for each one. Some probably go through them quickly while others spend a lifetime. It would seem that step 3 would be a spot where people could spend years before they make that jump.
And what about people who want so desperately to make a change but who cannot just grasp the idea of a higher power? Not necessarily athiests or agnostics, but those people who feel that 'something' is there, but they cannot reconcile what it is, in terms of a higher power. It seems to me that if someone cannot focus on what that higher power means to her, then she might not be able to actually reach that point where she can put her trust in it.

Ron

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Re: Step 3

Diggo wrote:Quote:Aryianna, how long does someone stay at the particular steps? I know it's different for each one. Some probably go through them quickly while others spend a lifetime. It would seem that step 3 would be a spot where people could spend years before they make that jump.

And what about people who want so desperately to make a change but who cannot just grasp the idea of a higher power? Not necessarily athiests or agnostics, but those people who feel that 'something' is there, but they cannot reconcile what it is, in terms of a higher power. It seems to me that if someone cannot focus on what that higher power means to her, then she might not be able to actually reach that point where she can put her trust in it.

Ron, you're right. The 12 steps is a very personal journey and how long it takes for someone to stay on a particular step depends on the individual's spiritual, emotional, mental and physical states. So, there is no recipe or requirement for how long a person should remain on a particular step.

For those who cannot grasp the idea of a higher power, it is suggested that they use an idea, a group, or anything that they believe in as their higher power, as long as this belief involves something that is outside of the person. For example, a newcomer may temporarily substitute the OLGA organization as a higher power, until their understanding of a higher power changes and grows.

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Step 3

I would imagine that substituting organizations like OLGA and EQ Widows is probably a common thing. But how can you, as the individual, be careful not to get stuck just sucking the life out the organization instead of getting the courage to move on? And as the organization, how can we provide help to that person without becoming an enabler?
Ron

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Re: Step 3

Ron,

I don't have an answer for your first question with regard to preventing oneself from getting stuck on using the organization as a Higher Power. I have seen people get by for years using the 12 step organization as their Higher Power.

As an organization, the best way to provide help is by having each of us members share our experience, strength and hope with newcomers. I think the best way to help newcomers is to point them to the steps, and the most effective way we can teach them the steps is to share from our own experience. By pointing them to the steps, we encourage them to focus on the program of recovery, instead of placing dependence on OLGA members.

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Re: Step 3

I guess to reword my question, when someone becomes too 'comfortable' just being in an environment like OLGA or AA or some other group, feeding off the energy there, how do you give someone a polite kick in the arse to get moving, or is that inappropriate?
Ron

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Re: Step 3

I just love the analogy with Indiana Jones and the leap of faith. I am in high spirits since I found my "higher power".

I was a natural thing once I relaxed and did not force myself. The Sun

Creator and life giver to all existence in the solar system. A higher power that I can trust. I shunned the sun while gaming and I shunned life and lived on the dark side of the moon (whoa getting deeply poetical here lol).

Just happy!

and please kick me in the arse if I am found feeding off any other energy

Shiva (not verified)
hear my praying and let me

hear my praying and let me pray in you
hear my praying and pray yourself in me
hear my praying and fill me up

and give me not what I wish or desire
but what you consider right for me to give
for my life is yours to live

John of the Roses
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Re: Step 3

Some of us have said................ "Take my will & my life, Guide me in my recovery, Show me how to live." This is the third step prayer.A From Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text Fifth Edition, Page 25 Prayer is maybe not exactly introduced to us in the third step, but the possibility of a Higher Power is. Some of us have never prayed for anything more than a very good drop on a quest, or that we could enjoy life as other people did, or maybe that thing we wanted but didn't have: i.e. a relationship, a new car, a house or a job.A The third step prayer does not include the word God, because we are only beginning to grasp the concept of a Higher Power.A The word God is commonplace, especially for Anglo's.A We will sometimes utilize God as the name of our Higher Power, but this is not a requirement.A We have complete freedom in choosing our own personal concept of a Power greater than ourselves.

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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Re: Step 3

God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt
Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always! Third Step Prayer, Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63. Today I am in step with my Higher Power and have chosen to follow his will. Although I am scared and very often full of self-will, I can choose another path today.

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My own prayer- if it works

My own prayer- if it works for you, all the better :) Lord, I kneel before You, humbled in Your light, begging shelter in Your mercy. I am broken- only Your love, Your will, can remake me as You intended me to be. I offer my life to you, Lord, to do with as You will. I submit to You. Please, Lord, if it is Your will, make me whole again. .....Man, my entire walk in this recovery is all about being broken... *giggle* forgive the pun, but I'm starting to sound like a broken record..... :D

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Basically, I thought that if

Basically, I thought that if even if there was a God, he surely wouldn't want to have anything to do with the likes of me. My guilt (what I did to others) and shame (how i felt about myself) was "one" of the reasons why I kept using...to kill the pain. However, very early on in recovery, around my 90th day, they told me that I only had to be willing to believe in a power greater than myself. NOT EVEN that I had to actually believe in a power greater than myself---to just be willing to believe. This is much different than having faith. We do not have faith until we have seen changes in our life because of our willingness to believe. I was so sick of gaming, and it's effects, that I was willing to do just about anything. I was willing to go to any length and if that meant swallowing my pride and turning over my Self-Will-Run-Riot, then so be it. But what does it really mean to "turn our will and our life over?" I struggled with understanding this concept for some time. This is where my sponsor and close friends came in handy. For me, this means to become "God conscious." It means to constantly ask ourselves when making any decision--"What would God want me to do?" or "What would God do if He were me?" (Remember, we mean God as you understand Him not necessarily the God you learned about in church or school.) Notice that step 3 says, "turn our will and our life over." Not "turn our game over to God." God doesn't want our game (at least I dont think so)---God probably doesn't even have any games! We have to let the will of the higher power into our whole life. So, when it comes down to a decision to cheat, carry resentments, self pity or steal we are just as God conscious about it as if it was a decision to game. We have to let God's will in on every decision. I hard leap of faith...but seems to work today.

Be Good to yourself! Rule #62: "Don't take yourself too **** seriously! " 12x12 Book And dont forget to donate... Donate

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Great input guys and

Great input guys and gals...I'm struggling a bit with this step..as I through the years have stuggled on and off with my views on a higher power. I'm not an athiest but I'm also not sure I have grasped yet a full understanding of what a higher power is to me. I have theories or thoughts that it is impossible for us to exist in thea absence of some higher power which we are not capable of understanding at this point in time. Perhaps this uncertainty is my higher power? The feeling inside me that there has to be something more beyond this life..some greater power that designed it all. Where I struggle is I tend to be more scientific in my view of it and I have a hard time forming an image of a single being or entity that has control over all things. Anyhow, this step will trouble me a bit I can tell already...perhaps I'll talk about with my sponsor. Dignified Dude

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NOTE: To the forum

NOTE: To the forum moderator..something is wrong in the code of this page..it's making everyone's posts bold even if they did not intened to bold them..I'd imagine it has something to do with the missing image at the end of of Medea's post. Perhaps there is an opening bold container that was not closed? I wanted to add to my last post about 'Higher Power'. As I mentioned above, IaEU(tm)ve been struggling with this one. I have finally come to peace with calling it 'God' , however i wanted to try to explain my point of view to possibly help others that are on the fence between being religious God and non religious God people. I struggle with organized religion and church specifically...another story for another time. Point is I have come up with my understanding of church and what it means to many people. The concept of a higher power can be seperate from church and from religion. Higher Power doesn't imply being above usaEU|as in High in the sky or being a Power that can smite us. To me... Higher Power is the energy that is in all things,. the unknown, unexplained magic that is inherent in all things, it's all around us in everything we see, touch, hear, feelaEU|you name it. It's the 'stuff' that makes it all possible, that makes it all work. The Higher Power is the creation of it all; the glue of it all, the binding force that allows everything to happen. We can't explain it, we can't put our finger on it...many of us have different views of it..some call it God some call it Nature...some called it spirituality, it doesn't matter...except to you. What matters is that you find the ability within yourself to admit you cannot defeat your addictions alone...you must call on the power of this 'stuff', whether that be God a Higher Power, Mother Nature, whatever. You have to be able to let go, admit that you cannot alone think yourself out of this addiction nor do you have the strength alone to control it. What the 12 steps ask of us is to be able to let go and let this 'stuff' do the work through us. We must open our minds and hearts to its direction for us. NowaEU|how this power communicates with us may be through our gut, through messages in our lives that we aEU~receiveaEU(tm)..and I mean really receive. We get messages all the time, but sometimes we choose to ignore them. Admitting we are powerless and need the help of a Higher Power of our understanding means to let go..and listen..to feel..to let the power of this source direct us and guide us to a path that is healthy for us. I don't know if that helps anyone..but it's helped me understand this step and I think now I can move on to the next step with peace of mind. Dignified Dude

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So today I was able to do

So today I was able to do Steps 1 & 2. I contacted my AA sponsor and confessed my WoW addiction--she knew I was playing compulsively and had suggested this would be something to look at, however she also knows that until someone has the *desire* to quit (whatever it is they want to quit), there isn't much that can effect a change. Step 3, I used the 3rd step prayer from page 63 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Prior to this I read pages 60-63 (which is something my sponsor had me do before doing the 3rd step prayer for my drinking). I'd like to report that I saw a burning bush, bells and whistles, etc but that wasn't the case. I did feel some relief. You can all prepare to laugh at me: what I really felt was dread that now that I have done step 3 I have to start my 4th step! I guess to reword my question, when someone becomes too 'comfortable' just being in an environment like OLGA or AA or some other group, feeding off the energy there, how do you give someone a polite kick in the arse to get moving, or is that inappropriate? I saw this old post from Diggity, and I'm sure he likely long ago answered this question for himself. From the experiences I've had with other 12 step programs there is a sort of "ok, now get to work" that is encouraged. Some people do this "kick in the arse" with more or less vigor. When AA was initially formed there was no "wait until you have a year of sobriety before you do your 4th step". People were moved through the steps in a matter of days (and repeated in the future as needed), and in some cases those with a bad case of DTs had others do the writing they dictated to finish that 4th step. One thing I was told about taking the 3rd step is that if I was really going to make a decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God as I understood him that meant taking the next step, which is step 4. It would also mean taking step 5 after that, 6 after that, and so on. The Big Book high lights this by writing the 3rd step prayer and almost immediately following up with (p63-64) "This was only a beginning...Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action..." So from that I'm assuming that now I have to do some stuff. *Ugh!* Off to look for a notebook and pen (sigh). I can't believe how exhausted I am.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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Desire to Stop - Big Book

Desire to Stop - Big Book page #83-84. No pain no gain. God can move mountains, he created shovals.

Be Good to yourself! Rule #62: "Don't take yourself too **** seriously! " 12x12 Book And dont forget to donate... Donate

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I am happy to see other

I am happy to see other people here taking the steps because the elevator is broken. As you know the fourth step is a searching and fearless moral inventory and when done from the pages of instruction in the BB, there is no doubting that the work is simple and straightforward, not dismissing the force it takes to do it. Thing to remember most about doing the step four work is to list all your resentments, in the first column first, then and only then do we start on the causes. This goes the same for the fears list and the list of sexual misconduct. I hesitated five or six years before doing a thorough fourth step, so dont wait if you are reading this and thinking of your procrastination...do it already and move on.

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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OK going to bookend here: I

OK going to bookend here: I don't have notebook/pad of paper yet, will get one by end of day.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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List the good, bad and

List the good, bad and ugly....then tell someone about them, then ask HP to take them...seemed to work for me -4th,5th and 6th...done -move on, simple for complicated peeps. The ugly will need to change asap -might even have to insert in step 1 at times...or thier heads will arise and a lapse / relapses will follow - or even other addicitons .

Be Good to yourself! Rule #62: "Don't take yourself too **** seriously! " 12x12 Book And dont forget to donate... Donate

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Actually 6 is being willing

Actually 6 is being willing that HP remove them and 7 is asking for them to be removed. so after listing them and spouting them out to a friend, HP & yourself, 6 & 7 are like a sliding board Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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Got the notebook yesterday,

Got the notebook yesterday, started writing.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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 now I will most definitely

now I will most definitely need a sponsor to get through step 4! my HP got me this far..

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Step 3:  Made a decision to

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

We choose to let go of self-will.

I realized I didnt have the resources to do it by myself. I had tried, over and over. Failed. Now I needed and accepted the help of my HP. I was led here. And away from the virtual world...for good this time. My HP is guiding me now.. my eyes and ears are open. *I have a feeling of calm now...sad but also calm finally**

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Dignified_dude wrote: Higher
Dignified_dude wrote:

Higher Power is the energy that is in all things,. the unknown, unexplained magic that is inherent in all things, it's all around us in everything we see, touch, hear, feelaEU|you name it. It's the 'stuff' that makes it all possible, that makes it all work. The Higher Power is the creation of it all; the glue of it all, the binding force that allows everything to happen. We can't explain it, we can't put our finger on it...many of us have different views of it..some call it God some call it Nature...some called it spirituality, it doesn't matter...except to you.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

I don't like using the word "God". As I have posted in Step 2, I have a more Eastern view of spirituality. I believe that chi/ki is the energy that exists in all things, living and non-living. Everything and everyone is connected by this energy.

Interpreting this step is difficult. Perhaps it means to trust this energy that resides in all things, which links us to one another, cares about us, cares for us. Like yin and yang, there is good and bad in all things; we must learn to believe that everything and everyone sees the good in us, despite our bad habits or addictions.

I have accepted that I can't do it alone. I know this, because even when I've been with other people, being alone is what I have felt like for a long time. Perhaps my ki doesn't have a strong connection with the world at the moment, because I have invested and wasted so much time and energy into my addiction. If we "turn our will and our lives and over" to the love and energy of other people and the world, we can strengthen our bond to reality.

This is a difficult step to interpret if you don't believe in a conventional God. Maybe the point is to believe in something outside yourself for a source of support. It is a sad thought to think that some people believe they are completely alone in their struggle; this is not the case. Whether you believe in God or not, there will always be people who care about you, be they family, friends, or people who can personally sympathise.

Either way, I think I'll be pondering this step for a while.

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As long as it not you,

As long as it not you, you'll be ok...(self will run riot).

Try to read the 12 and 12 Step book of AA< it had helped me understand this step which for me took months -and changes its meaning throughout the years. A power greater than oursleves (step two) can restore US to sanity (need a book on that too)!

Be Good to yourself! Rule #62: "Don't take yourself too **** seriously! " 12x12 Book And dont forget to donate... Donate

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I am buddhist and i am

I am buddhist and i am worried about this step because i dont believe in god. what should i do?

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Do you believe in a Higher

Do you believe in a Higher Power? You can define your own Higher Power.

Liz Woolley

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Rawrrawr maybe Brahman would

Rawrrawr maybe Brahman would fit this description?

I think the people here that are more Agnostic, not really believing in anything in particular, lean toward something more akin to AEUtman.

Like Liz says, you can define it as you like. Doesn't have to be a grey-bearded guy sitting on a throne somewhere. :-p (Not that all Christians believe that literally anyway, of course.)

The only winning move is not to play.

dark (not verified)
I think the real point is

I think the real point is 'Power Greater than Yourself'. The reason it is so effective IMO is that gaming addiction (and most other addictions) are an extreme form of selfishness.

The first step on the road to recovery is to step outside of that inward focus and to accept powerlessness and the idea that all of our best thinking got us to this point, so we reach out for help.

That this Higher Power may be God, or the Universal Consciousness or the Little Man from Binxie, matters not. So long as it is 'outside of ourselves'.

- dark

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This step is very intuitive

This step is very intuitive to me. Obviously, our notion of "doing" is often so superficial... at the end of the day, the divine puts 99.999999% of things to make things happen. So I am very happy to fully surrender to the divine energy and act by it's will from this moment onwards till the day I take my last breath

It is true that despite this knowledge of the divine, I have been pretending to be the doer and am ruining my life - this precious human life that I have been given.

Now I surrender 100% to HIS will.. I will do this with the principles from Chapter 2 of Ashtavakra Geeta

1. Forgiveness: in all that has happened to date

2. Sincerety: in sticking to my commitment and in my desire to maximize my abilities

3. Contentment: with what I have

4. Compassion: for myself and those around me

5. Knowledge that everything is changing anyway

Love,

Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

Cheers,

- Freedom Seeker

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This step is going to be

This step is going to be hard. I have pushed God away for a long time. I have tried to control my addiction. I am still trying to controll my addiction. I don't even know how to begin this step. I can pray all the time, but to actually act upon it and change my life, the way I've been living for so long, I don't know how. I can't get off my computer. I get physically ill if I'm not at my computer. In fact I am ill, which is probably why I am at my computer all the time.

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Well, I see that it the

Well, I see that it the computer is also making you hyperactive just by the way you are typing. Also, try doing pisitive reinforcements during the day. Like, "I am sane" and "I have a real connection with a higher power." By reminding yourself that you ARE rational, you can easily become so. Stop telling yourself "I can't do it", and you might find you acually can.

Mario

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How do we know His will? 

How do we know His will? How do we know:

"What would God want me to do?" or "What would God do if He were me?"

hirshthg
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oneminusbeta wrote: How do
oneminusbeta wrote:

How do we know His will? How do we know:

"What would God want me to do?" or "What would God do if He were me?"

well, i think that would be a out come of step 2,

seems like you are not addressing step 2, and have no problem with it, and only at step 3 do you seem to have a problem.

is sounds like you know G-d, you know he wants to restore you to sanity, you know He has the power and interest to do so, but still have no idea that He wants you to lead a healthy life style?

my view, (my opinion only) is that the "g-d of the 12 steps" is what i can see in my life, and that g-d wants me to lead the best life possible.

Is g-d more complex than my small life? does He have big plans for the world? as far as i am concerned until he tells me, it isn't any of my business, what is my business in step 3 is to make a commitment to Him and myself, along with to my sponsor and the fellowship, to stop the unhealthy behaviors, and start filling my life up with the best stuff i can find. without making do with half oks and second class thrills.

that is what g-d made me to be and do, and to me step 3 is making a commitment to like life on those terms.

oh, knowing my assets and defects (step 4) being open with someone (step 5) improving on my assets and overcoming my defects (steps 6 and 7) living a upright life (8 9 and 10) and improving my mind and heart (11) and helping others (12) are things i think are some of "the good life". but you can make the observation yourself

gl hf

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

oneminusbeta
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Hi gl hf, Thank you for the

Hi gl hf,

Thank you for the insight. I'm still working on step 1 (I am powerless....powerless), but as is my wont, I can't help looking ahead for those glimpses of what is to come. Is being addicted to someone who is addicted, in and of itself, an addiction? I think so. I need to memorize all 12 steps, so I can follow this and other conversations intelligently. I'm sorry that I am so ignorant (that is not tongue in cheek), but I plan to improve myself from here forward. Until then, I can only be who I am, and my instinct is to question rather than to have faith. Lots of changes forthcoming....

omb

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lol omb, i would sugest

lol

omb,

i would sugest trying having a sponsor to "walk" you through it.

gl hf:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

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gl hf, Thank you, that

gl hf,

Thank you, that *would* be the obvious answer, wouldn't it? :-)

I don't think I could get a sponsor here, as I've only played an MMO once, under my husband's instruction. AA, maybe?

I *did* have a scary thought this morning, though. Isn't the tendency to move from one addiction to another? To replace an old addiction with a new one? Is this really what the 12 steps are all about? Being able to kick "addiction as a whole" while recovering from one specifically? I'm sure this is obvious to all of you past step 1, but it came as sort of an epiphany to me....

:/

omb

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oneminusbeta wrote: gl
oneminusbeta wrote:

gl hf, Is this really what the 12 steps are all about? Being able to kick "addiction as a whole" while recovering from one specifically?

as i see it, all 12 steps are the same except for the first half of the first step,

to be honest, you have a post where you talk about your story, and i didn't read it yet:/

I just like the recovery talk,

most of the steps are about living the "good life", not fighting the addiction.

the only thing that is needing the way of addiction is to do the first half of the first step, and then you are on your way. no need to think about that addiction. (according to some)

i am looking forward to reading your story when i get a chance, (work in 7 min here, and i still need to get changed and out the door:)

ps. gl hf = good luck have fun.

it is one of the good things i took away from gaming

hershel:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

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Hey hershel, So this is how

Hey hershel,

So this is how naieve (ignorant, uh is the internet term n00b or something???) I am. I thought your *name* was gl hf. Wow.

Read it or not, I'm here as much for myself as my gamer-hubby. I know I can't get a sponsor here, but I want to learn about recovery and everyone here makes me feel so comfortable, moreso than other 12 step sites I've visited. The first half of the first step - realizing powerlessness. I'm pretty much there. I've been thinking about HP and that's what's got me stumped - raised Catholic, been agnostic for a *long* time. But I think I'm making a little progress. Saw said hubby today and he was so surprised that I was thinking about HP. Thinking about a lot these days and need to continue *writing it down.*

Another (probably silly) question: is sponcys "sponsor?"

Hmmm. Good luck, have fun. I like it, even if it is gamespeak. I could use some luck, and I could use some fun. Thank you for the sentiment.

omb

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oneminusbeta wrote: Hey
oneminusbeta wrote:

Hey hershel,

Another (probably silly) question: is sponcys "sponsor?"

no sponcys, is probably misspelled, but it means the people i sponsor

i don't understand why you can't get a sponsor here, there could be anon sponsor on this site?

i think so

both sides do the steps, and i don't see any reason why not to if it could help....

gl hf hugs

hershel:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

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hey hershel, Good luck, have

hey hershel,

Good luck, have fun, and hugs back atcha! I'm going to to try to stay up late enough one night this weekend to attend an 11:00 mtg. I think the steps would definitely help. Just trying to figure out how to think about an HP that I can come to believe in. I also want to talk all of this over with my therapist, who I won't see until next Tuesday :-( Thanks so much for your kindness and patience with my fumbling and ignorance. I think that with the help of this board, and HP once I find him (her???), I will get better. Eventually.

omb

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oneminusbeta wrote:  I
oneminusbeta wrote:

I think that with the help of this board, and HP once I find him (her???),

she is black you know....

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

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really? I saw her more as

really? I saw her more as tan. Beautiful of course.

Mario

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Aryianna wrote: Ron, I don't
Aryianna wrote:

Ron,

I don't have an answer for your first question with regard to preventing oneself from getting stuck on using the organization as a Higher Power. I have seen people get by for years using the 12 step organization as their Higher Power.

As an organization, the best way to provide help is by having each of us members share our experience, strength and hope with newcomers. I think the best way to help newcomers is to point them to the steps, and the most effective way we can teach them the steps is to share from our own experience. By pointing them to the steps, we encourage them to focus on the program of recovery, instead of placing dependence on OLGA members.

Ron i would like to offer that the reason we should not place our faith in something tangible is because that tangible something including any organization of people is finite. Meaning it can end. A higher power as i understand the steps of recovery and from reading lots of literature on the subject should be something benevolent and loving that does not have any end or vulnerability. Non religious non dogmatic examples of this or powers greater than ourselves such as the ocean, The universe, The sun (though one would have to wonder how to deal with the sun not always being around, but then again i could make it work) The earth itself, nature, The great spirit (bordeline dogmatic but not really, One could always pick up a less dogmatic religion such as bhuddism or tao. I myself practice native american traditions and i believe in them. Other forces greater than us that will most likely be there when we are long gone: The mountains , The wind or sky, The collective human spirit itself, water, a river, the great lakes. It can even be a boulder or a volcano. There are many beautiful things that will outlast us for eons after we are dead and gone. One addict (thats really what we are) said thier higher power was this great tree. While again i do not suggest something easily destructable but that is merely a suggestion. There are always the stars, one sponsor i had called it "The big banger" or the big bang, constellations, the moon, venus. There are the greek gods too. I came real close one time to nameing athena as my goddess, however i know now that my higher power has no gender. I personally call my higher power the great mystery or universe. I also call my higher power god simply because it is easier to say and my neo christian family stays off my back and instead relates to my belief. Again this is one of the few things in life were we cant go wrong the only thing we can do wrong here is simply not do it. Not have faith that something cares for us, and can take care of us for as long as we live. More importantly has been taking care of us. I will leave it at that, thanks for letting me share.

Live Without Limits
-Jacob S.

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As these steps are vastly

As these steps are vastly open to interpretation, and I need to be honest about the steps, here are my interpretations and my vow.

Short answer:

To believe in and have guidance from a power beyond your control.

Long answer: (I'll try to make it simple)

We all have an individual belief. Be it a Deity, patron (deity or saint) or slightly more agnostic belief (like The Universe, Collective Unconscious or Prana - life essence in us all)

With so many personalities we all have a vast array of interpretations.. but this step as general as it is, is also acute to a point. Let this energy or power and or being guide you, more than take on your burden alone let your belief give you strength.

Allow it to surpass your feeling 'out of control'. Trust in this. (giving over sounds like a relay race, at least in my opinion.)

Once you are ready to not obsess about your addiction you can begin recovering;

Like mentioned before replacing an addiction with another is not the point, but dealing with the psychology of addiction is!

I've approached the idea from a very Zen place, my head is fast and my heart is slow. Peace is a perfect medium for me, timeless and infinite. I feel the space to breath, think and ultimately wrestle with my ideas till those boulders are grains of sand.

Boulders scare me, but sand is relaxing to me like waves on.. sand, like a beach.

My vow; (how ever personal, my belief and poetic nature come out)

Lend me your graces Mother nature,

surmount the insurmountable, for me, with me

for I am out of balance and in need of your centring

that I may flourish, by your guidance and with love

till all I am at peace, take of me, make of me

by your will and my heart I'll feel your touch in deed.

~ Lessons learned are experience earned.

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cannot get the paragraphs to

cannot get the paragraphs to behave.. sorry for the double posty.

~ Lessons learned are experience earned.

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"Like all the remaining

"Like all the remaining Steps, Step Three calls for affirmative action, for it is only by action that we can cut away the self-will which has always blocked the entry of God - or, if you like a Higher Power - into our lives. Faith, to be sure, is necessary, but faith alone can avail nothing. We can have faith, yet keep God out of our lives. Therefore our problem now becomes just how and by what specific means shall we be able to let Him in? Step Three represents our first attempt to do this," reads a quote from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions."

"It is the entry of the infinite oneness and higher source that seems to pull addicts back from the edge of the darkness of addiction. Actually its the realization that the infinite oneness has always been there, which is the true, underlying message of Step 3."

Quoted 12steps.comI was reading this today and it struck a chord in me. "We can have faith, but keep our HP out of our lives". So true! Im only at my best when I'm working the program and following my HP. This requires me to let him in all aspects of my life, not just cherry picking the ones I choose to let him into....

"Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant." ~Paul Coelho

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being a non demoninational i

being a non demoninational i beleave in a HP and i beleave that i can't do this without him i sit around and when times are bad i talk to him as if he was on the phone with me or right next to me. goodness today i tried it again after almost a year of not talking to him and it felt so good. i thanked him for sending me a message to wake up and get back to work on my real life and get away from my multiple lives in games. im so happy now that i got more done in a day then i would have gotten done in 2 weeks at home. im finally able to funtion as a better person and my own self again. and i will thank him till the day i die.

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Hello everyone. It's my

Hello everyone. It's my first time here. I've just read all the 12 steps, they all appear to be great to me, but there's something I can't manage to accept: the constant presence of the "Higher Power", to which people usually address with the term "God". I'm a materialist and an atheist, I do not believe in the existence of any divine entity or superior consciousness. So it is hard for me to accept that I need the help of a superior being to overcome my gaming addiction. I know I can't do it alone, I can't put limits to myself when it comes to stop or reduce the amount of time wasted on games, I can't fight alone, but I thought of "help" as coming from another person or a group of persons like you. The 12 steps say we can't live without thinking of the existence of a superior being, a Higher Power, God. I can't accept this view of life. So is there no hope for me? Can't I walk through the path of recovery with my atheistic vision?

Thank you for giving your time to read.

"Fear is the first of many foes". "Perseverance wins".
Definitely stopped playing on May 22, 2014.
My "higher power" is the fellowship.

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Hi OGALloyd! The 12 steps

Hi OGALloyd!

The 12 steps are not a religious program. We are free to choose whatever we want to define as our Higher Power/God. Many people in not only Olga but in other 12 step programs choose the group of recovering addicts/fellowship as there Higher Power. My personal Higher Power/God has evolved and changed over time. Many people are either aetheists or have a really bad view of the whole God word because of bad experiences with that word being attached to their experiences with their religions. The important thing for me is to recognize there is a power greater than myself and that to continue to live relying on only my own thinking and self-will will continue to get me the results I've gotten. I am free to call that power whatever I choose to as long as I don't call it Lisa.

Hugs, Lisa Video game free since 4/17/2014

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