Hello all,
I have been playing video-games most of my life, since when I'm 6. I always liked strategy games, like Starcraft and such, because of they allowed me to compete with other people on another dimension (always been rater awkward, never been much competitive in sports)
Now I'm 27 and the thing the thought that hit me today like a truck was all the time I wasted. If I take all the matches played so far, we are above five thousands. Five thousands for an average of 30 minutes per match makes something like 2500 hours. That's an enormous amount of time. I could have used that time to learn a new job, a new sport, a new discipline, or make new friends.. and instead it's just wasted. All that time has just been subtracted from my life.
Now I want to change that, and quit for good. However, what at the beginning I thought was an easy thing, now seems much more difficult than expected. In fact only now I'm realizing that mine has always been a real addiction, and not just some time-consuming pastime. The weight of this discovery is unbelievable.
I am writing this post to remember (mostly to myself) the date in which I finally faced my problem without negating or minimizing it. Now I want to realize my full potential, and I want to use my life wisely, as it's the only one I have.
JD
Forever Free
Hey JD,
Congratulations on starting the journey. At first, a lot of us experience feelings of boredom and depression when we can't game. I used the gaming to cover up my feelings of fear and inadequacy. I could be powerful in the game, which "compensated" for my struggles in real life. The problem was that the more I tried to escape my struggles in real life by focusing on the game, the bigger my real life problems got, and the more I needed to escape into the fantasy of the game. That vicious cycle spiralled really out of control for me. Fortunately I did not have to fix that all at once. The feelings of boredom fade as I find pleasure in the simple joys of life.
I've heard a number of people talk about picking up a hobby, especially something physical. It's good to work up a sweat. Meanwhile, spending a lot of time here is a good idea. Keep coming back, it works.
Game free since 11/24/2011 (Thanksgiving Day). One Day at a Time.
Available by phone (904)437-0761.
hi JD welcome to olga
statecraft and other strategy games were my favorites
especially when i started playing online
(i got clobbered a lot....)
gl finding a way of life that doesn't include spending hours a day "competing" at something that doesn't have real meaning
hf and keep coming back:)
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
Hi JD and welcome!
Getting a new hobby is a good idea. So is using the 12 steps for recovery. I recommend the steps because recovery, for me, is easier with them (and a sponsor or recovery buddy to help us) and gets to the root of the problems.
What I am afraid of is going back to gaming again when life gets rough..and life does get rough sometimes.
The way I used gaming was when:
1. I was sad
2. happy
3. tired
4. lonely
5. irritated, or
6. sick
Anytime I had a significant mood swing, out came the game.
Anyway, I do have new hobbies: growing a vegetable garden, cleaning out boxes of stored stuff, and music.
jax couldn't have hit it more squarely. Let yourself get into a sweat and pour it into exercise. Knacker yourself until you can barely stand, and that should stave it off. Come here to get rid of the mental side of things.
J
I quit gaming on 16 May 2011. Thank you Online Gamers Anonymous for setting me on the right path to conquering my addiction.
Glad you are here, JD, and glad you "woke up" to the time lost to games. All the best in finding what you need here on OLGA...you aren't alone. And know this: Even though you started as a young child, you CAN be something besides a "gamer".
Best,
ElizA
.Left the games behind Tuesday, March 28, 2011...I have a new left knee and a lot more appreciation for the word "recovery"....blessings come in the darndest forms!
.
Thanks to everybody for the support.. it's really appreciated.
However, I'd like to point out that my main issue will not be boredom: I have always a lot of stuff to do, and paradoxically I resorted to gaming as a way to procrastinate my RL responsibilities.
Any hint about this? I don't know if the two thigs are related, but my biggest problem beyond gaming has always been procrastination.
JD
Hi JD,
I can relate to your comments about having a lot to do. For me gaming was a way to shut down all the chaos and responsibility - the overwhelming sense of obligation. I was/am a perfectionist and extremely self-critical. Procrastination was the result. I also tended to take on too much responsibility for problems that weren't mine to solve, which increased the sense of obligation, etc etc etc.
So I have to learn to accept my imperfections, trust others, and do the next right thing. I can really only do one thing at a time, so I spend a little more time trying to figure out what that thing is. I try to focus on recovery as a priority - when I'm peaceful and centered I generally make better decisions and create less bad karma.
And it takes time to adjust things. Be patient. It will happen.
cjl
Oh me, too. Me, too. Join the club!
And it will all sort out eventually, especially if you and I aren't gaming.
Report Day 3
Everything seems still fine, with very mild withdrawal symptoms.
My decision to burn all the bridges by giving away the account proved to be the right one.
Also, the procrastination issue seems to get better, as there is no longer a default procrastination activity.
Extremely weird dreams though. Never had this kind of dreams before. A lot of satanic/bizarre images that I'm not able to explain in any way.
I had bizarre dreams, too.
Report Day 5
Well, not much to report.. the bad dreams period seems gone, and now i am also able to procrastinate much less than before.
There is however one single thing that bothers me: in the past I have been able to quit drugs and cigarettes, and I learned that the effective way to stop an addiction is not telling yourself how bad you are with it, but telling yourself how good you are without it.
However, when it comes to gaming, I'm still not able to shift completely this paradigm. I'm still telling myself that I am missing something, rather than appreciating its absence.
I know that I'm not completely over it unless I find a way to shift this thought.
Any advice?
Hi JD,
glad you're here. "Me too" about all the procrastination issues described in posts #6, #7, and #8. Looks to me like procrastination and gaming often occur together. (Well, they're both about wasting time.) In my case, when/if I want to focus on how I'm better off without gaming, that's clearly what I look at: All the additional time I have now, and how I use it, and how all the stuff I do now instead of gaming makes my life better.
My life, job situation, home, paperwork (taxes, insurances, finances, ...), etc., etc. - wherever I look, it seems chaotic and messy, with a to-do list from here to Tokyo. It makes me feel very uncomfortable, I want out of that situation, and I'm trying to work myself out of there. Whenever there's progress (and there has been some since I stopped gaming), I feel a little better, and I can attribute that to not gaming. (The downside is that it is a slow process - for me at least - and may take some time until improvements become visible.) I don't know if any of that is applicable for you - I can only hope your life is less chaotic and messy than mine.
And, of course, there are the enjoyable activities and experiences, too, which you can have in all that time. Things that leave good memories.
Good luck, best wishes, for 2012 and beyond.
Hi JD,
Gaming took me away from my family, friendships, and career. Best way for me to see the negatives in gaming is to look at how it impacted other parts of my life. What would my life have been like if I had spent my time elsewhere?
I have to look at whether I'm really happy right now. Gaming makes it possible for me to avoid the reality of my unhappiness, but it's only temporary.
cjl
hi JD.
Dont feel too sad about the time wasted. In stead look ahead to the great things you become. I mean , how could you know, how could your parents know. I am 40. I played hours on end on the computer. I completed study though, I maried, I have kids,,,but I could have done more. But I dont think about that. I think. In my new life I will do more. I will be a person.
We are in a difficult era of new addictions and when people warned against games, we all used to laugh. Now our numbers grow and we will support and spread the message. I was in the train to Amsterdam reading a book some time ago. And everyone I could see had a blackberry or droid or other device. and was Whatsapping- mailing etc etc...the whole time. these people will be here some day too.
If you have children or get them one day , you know what to do, and what computergames will mean to them, and they wil get your support and that day be blessed you can prevent them or teach then what the game does.
pre- diagnosed with Autism.
Report Day 450 (more or less)
So far so good.. got a new job, new responsibilities, new friends, new hobbies. During this year I was able to achieve so many things. The future is full of challenges but overall very bright. Quitting my gaming addiction was indeed the right thing to do.
Only one thing is bothering me. I forced myself out of my addiction and that's ok. However, I did not destroy it. I feel it's still there, ready to resurface as soon as I let my guard down.
I know this because once in a while I have some relapses. They never last more thant 1-2 days (and then I got again in control), but everytime it happens the urge to play is stronger than ever.
I am wondering if I will ever be able to forget it completely, or if it will always be a willpower battle.
JD
and here we are.. after 10 years I'm here again to add another post to this thread.
Many things changed in the meantime.. got married, had a kid, got a good job, new friends, got in good physical shape, clean from cigarettes and drugs for a very long time.. and STILL, I'm struggling to tame the beast. A few years ago I started playing on mobile. Then the next step was installing steam on home pc. And now I'm playing around 5~6 hours per week. By the standard of a hardcore gamer it's not that much, but it bothers me to no end that despite all my efforts, the cravings are still there. Should I resign to an endless cycle of cleanup-relapse-cleanup-relapse??
Does " resign" mean give up trying or kicking the games into touch for good ?
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here
by "resign" I don't mean giving up trying, but giving up on the hope to conquer the beast once and for all. Honestly, quitting cigarettes and drugs was in comparison much easier.
Sounds like you are wondering if finally accepting that moderation is not an option for you and staying quit is the only hope to end the madness; which also means just accepting that cravings may always pop up their ugly head and learning how to not act on them.
My best advice is to follow the link about meetings for addicts in my signature below.
Glad you are here !
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here
just coming back here to tell everyone that in the past week I found a lot of success with this software called cold turkey, which is able to block all sensitive programs and is extremely difficult to bypass/override. Its not for free, but I would say that the return on investment is great, for people like us.
Thanks for the tip !
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here