SELF-APPROVAL - Author known to our Higher Powers - Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others. ** Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we're lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves. ** In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves. ** We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that's the only approval that counts...today, I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. I will replace them with a need to like and approve of myself. I will enjoy the surprise I find when I do this. The people who count, including myself, will respect me when I am true to myself...I love me :) loves :--)x
So true! I've spent a lifetime seeking others' approval, and in the end I can't form meaningful relationships because I'm scattered all over the place and not being true to myself....whatever that is! I'm seeking that out now and trying to respond with my very own feelings. I've noticed I've been catching myself more and more these days. This is definitely one of the great things about recovery and not succombing to addiction. Finally I can be myself!
"Even when you think it's about you, it's not about you." Dr. Bill
Objectively, everyone has experienced self aproval problem in their lives at some point, basically regardless what personality we are and what we've been through, we are always sensitive about ourselves much more than about others, in either good or bad way. People with self approval problems are more prone to become addicted, although we all know that modern drugs, alcohol and computer games can ruin completely healthy person from the inside. We are sensitive to what others think or say about us, the difference between people is how much we can handle these things and when it will start to hurt our confidence. However addictions are the worst thing the one can do in order to cope with self approval.
I can totally relate to this. One thing ive learned from my recovery is i try to hard to get others approval. It is a issue i need to work on as do most addicts i believe.
As Russell Brand says in the article Dan posted elsewhere,"The gutter is within" for whatever reason. I bought a lie early on that I wasn't and would never measure up. Today I practice using every tool available to me to reinforce the truth - that I am enough, as Joyah's shared.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!