My Husband is addicted to Clash of Clans

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autumbeth
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My Husband is addicted to Clash of Clans

HELP!!! My husband is on his phone ALL the time playing clash of clans. We have been married 7 years and have 3 wonderful children together. A little over a year ago, we decided to cave and get smart phones. Shortly after we got our new phones, he downloaded clash of clans and was playing it quit a bit. Wasn't too concerned at first. Well, now things have changed. I am VERY Concerned, aggrivated, sad, not happy at all.

He get's on it first thing in the morning, while I get our kids ready for school. Then once he is done checking it or whatever, he will finally make his own lunch for work. Not sure how much he is on it at work, since he is a driver, I would hope not much at all. Once he walks in the door from work he is on his phone playing. Barely says "hi" to me and the kids. And he will put it down, just long enough to eat, then he is back on it. He will stay on it till midnight. Give or Take.

It's frustrating because I do ALL the house chores, laundry, dishes, cook meals, clean house, grocery shop, everything. But now, I am doing outside chores as well. Cuz he is on his **** phone. I used to mow the yard once a year, if he needed me too. Well, this year I mow most of the time. He has maybe mowed twice this year. I pulled all the weeds out the grass. I usually don't do yard work unless it's landscaping. But I feel like our yard is not looking as good because of clash of clans.

Our kids, ask for help for something, and he tells them "just a minute" then totally forgets about them. Or they will be playing outside with neighbors and I'm out front watching. And he will be in the backyard on his phone. Not awhare of anything going on. It's to the point that I cry myself to sleep at night. Once in awhile I will fight with him about it, and he snaps back at me saying that I am always on my phone. Which is not true, I will get on it and browse a little if I'm bored cuz he is on his phone, and it's a commercial on t.v. He will laugh at me and say it's only a game!!!!! Ya, it is and it's taking over his life.

My biggest eye opener was when we were on vacation, we went out to eat and we were all done eating. Kids and I left the restaurant while he was still sitting at our table playing clash of clans. Another customer sitting at a table by ours, saw me stare at my husband and get ****y and storm out with the kids. My kids and I are vying for attention. Anything from him. Help, conversation, laughter, anything would be nice. But instead we see his face glued to his phone.

cdgoldilocks
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Welcome advice for spouses of video game addicts is here

Welcome advice for spouses of video game addicts is here

http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/help-my-spousesignificant-other-addicted

Your husband is forsaking his marital vows. For a game. And sadly, you are not alone.

But you cannot change him. There is literally NOTHING you can do to get him to see he is being a giant, selfish, asshole. After reading your post and guessing you are pretty freaking smart, my guess is you have done just about everything to reason with him. It seems you understand he needs time to decompress, but that's not what we are talking about and we spouses of gamers all totally get that.

It is so easy to be consumed by gaming in this day and age. After a stressful day where a person doesn't feel that "special", a gamer can literally log on to a super awesome fantasy where they ARE special and DO matter. They have friends in that realm of pixels. They create an avatar and achieve great things, not like a "simple driver". Outside of the game, there are dishes to do, kids whining, spouses nagging, boring stuff. Gamers don't fully grasp, or in total denial about how their literal checking out of their "real life" or rl in gamer speak, devastates their families. When they DO come out of the game, it is to the full wrath of their spouse, guilt about neglecting the kids, the home, bills and money spent on pixels. They cannot handle it and run back to the game. It is a vicious cycle.

12 step programs in general do not give advice. I find that highly frustrating and annoying, but there ARE some things it is safe to give advice about:

1. Live your life with the premise that your husband will never stop gaming. Let's pretend that we went to the local psychic who let you look in to her Crystal ball, and that is what it showed. 5 years from now, your couch as a butt imprint from where he sits all day long, gaming. How does that change things for you? Do you see yourself living forever with a gamer? If you aren't sure, that's ok. Many of us stay with our spouses because when we have kids, it changes they dynamic a bit. But.... are you going to want to treat him the same way? Do you keep on doing all the chores by yourself? Do you become Mrs. Fix it, Mrs. Gardener, Mrs. kids' sports team coach? Do you still have intimate relations with him? Do you wash his clothes, serve his dinner, keep it warm for him? Those are some things you might want to think about. The answer to this is different for every couple.

2. Begin the 12 steps. Read the "sticky" posts here.

3. Surround yourself with emotional support. You are going to need it.

I am so very sorry for your pain. You are NOT alone.

Andrew_Doan
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This is becoming more

This is becoming more common. Many guys at work spend hours and hours on that game.

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

John of the Roses
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my friend in NA is beginning

my friend in NA is beginning to play this game. I warn him but it does little good. He tells me that there are those who are in his clan who spend $$$ on the game. So, be watchful of your finances!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

Andrew_Doan
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John of the Roses wrote: my
John of the Roses wrote:

my friend in NA is beginning to play this game. I warn him but it foes little good. He tells me that there are those who are in his clan who spend $$$ on the game. So, be watchful of your finances!

The guys at work are spending hundreds of dollars to "enhance" and "boost" their armies!

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

Reddog
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Yes this is a very typical

Yes this is a very typical "free2play" that is the exact opposite. I had gaming friends that also played this and sunk a ton of $$ in it. I did the same in a "free2play" sinking thousands of wasted dollars in it. Most game developers are going to this model learning they can make a lot more money leaving the players to their own devices instead of a subscription. The mobile MMO I played initially had a subscription then switched to the "free2play" model. People went from paying less than $10 a month to more than $20+ a week. Some much more than this. The real problem I see with this is it furthers addiction. You start to feel like you have an "investment" in the game in your characters not just time but a lot of money too. It is hard to just quit or delete something you spent thousands of dollars on.

The "free2play" model runs ramped on the mobile platform. Developers have adopted the "free sample" approach with the games letting you get a taste of the action. Players naturally want to be competitive I mean why play a game if your not and augment their experience with purchases to help be competitive. Economically it is a genius move. Apple has recently seen the issue and added controls for in app purchases and handed out a ton of money in refunds but this is mainly because of minors making unauthorized purchases. This in no way controls adults like myself. It is too easy make these purchases does not feel like real money when you are doing it.

"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present"

Spike
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I don't mean to be harsh,

I don't mean to be harsh, but, just go ahead and super-glue his face to the phone, like literally

Its just a click away, but I'm not going to play. Though I've relapsed many times in the past, I feel confident, again, I quit, and that's it.

exgamergirl777
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How are you going now? Did

How are you going now? Did your husband change or gets even more into his game? My husband is addicted to the same game. And I feel like me and my daughter are being neglected. Worse is that we are about to have a new baby and I am worried that things will turn for the worse. :(

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exgamergirl777, I'm so sorry

exgamergirl777, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I've read your post here and several others that you have written as well. I'm new here, though I've been lurking for a few weeks now. I have yet to write about my own sad story, but I plan to soon.

My wife began playing Clash of Clans about a year ago, but this summer it became an obsession. The i-pad now goes everywhere with her. She will check it during meals. She will bring it into the bathroom. If we are at a restaurant she will be gaming under the table. You get the picture. Recently I've stumbled upon graphic cyber infidelity with another gamer. I've never been a gamer, but from what I understand this sort of thing happens quite a bit. We previously had a beautiful little life together, but now I feel quite lonely and of course very sad. At times I feel like a single parent. Unfortunately, based on my experience you are probably in for a long and lonely road.

I'm very glad I found this site because I realize now that I'm not alone in stuggling with this. There is a lot of good advice on this site, and the best is that you are going to have to detach, then focus on yourself and your kids. That is what I have been doing. I get plenty of sleep. I exercise. I talk to friends, go for walks, go to church, enjoy spending time with my daughter. Try to focus on the parts of my life that are not in turmoil. I always invite my wife to join me in things, but I know she will decline before I ask and I don't let it bother me. She prefers to play Clash of Clans. If it were just the two of us I would never tolerate being treated like this, but of course as you know, when you have kids everything changes.

I still have hope. There are enough success stories out there that I keep hoping for the best, so I hope that one day my wife sees what she is missing in real life but I don't expect it. Believe me, I know from my experience with my wife that your husband honestly doesn't see anything wrong with what he is doing. He is in a fantasy bubble, and talking about it will only make it worse. So take care of yourself! This is NOT being selfish. Never forget - you are not the one with the problem, he is.

Take care,

Sad_Dad

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Sad_Dad wrote: Recently
Sad_Dad wrote:

Recently I've stumbled upon graphic cyber infidelity with another gamer. I've never been a gamer, but from what I understand this sort of thing happens quite a bit. We previously had a beautiful little life together, but now I feel quite lonely and of course very sad. At times I feel like a single parent. Unfortunately, based on my experience you are probably in for a long and lonely road.

Sad_Dad, to help you understand what may be happening in your wife's mind, here is a portion of a chapter I recently wrote for a mental health textbook:

"Both Internet Gaming Disorder (IGD) and Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) manifest hyper-arousal behaviors associated with minimal refractory periods. Things that are pleasurable in life are usually associated with rest periods between events, i.e. the refractory period. For example, sexual intercourse is associated with a refractory period. When male rats were allowed to copulate with a single female rat until 30 minutes had elapsed, they were very unlikely to engage in copulation when a second female was introduced 24 hours later (Beach & Jordan, 1956). On the other hand, when a second female was introduced immediately after the male's 15-minute refractory period, the male rat would rapidly copulate with the second female rat. By continuing to change the female rats after the male's 15-minute refractory period, Fisher was able to double or triple the number of copulations (Fisher, 1962). Fisher stated that, "... there is a critical period immediately following a series of ejaculations during which it is easier to reactivate sexual mechanisms than it will be for a number of days following". This phenomenon is also known as the Coolidge Effect.

The mind prefers variation to both visual and physical stimuli. If we extrapolate the Coolidge Effect to Internet gaming and Internet visual stimuli, it makes sense that these stimuli are arousing, and why IGD and IAD are real problems. The seemingly endless provocative images, stimulating game plays, and engagements via social media, provide brain reward and physiological arousal that can be abused by certain individuals, because these individuals find the reward and arousal irresistible. The stimuli provided through the Internet via gaming and online connections are associated with minimal refractory periods. Similar to the male rat in the Coolidge Effect, the individual is able to provide multiple rewarding stimuli via clicking a technological device in rapid succession with little rest periods between rewards, leading not only to the development of addiction, but also to the physical sequelae of near constant enhanced sympathetic tone seen in IGD and IAD (Chaput, et al., 2011)."

Because of the above research observations, I think cyber infidelity/sexting/porn problems in gamers are common. I am finishing another case report with Dr. Hilarie Cash on a gaming addict who is addicted to porn now.

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

Sad_Dad
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Andrew, thank you for your

Andrew, thank you for your response with regard to what might be going on in my wife's mind. The things I read were shocking, to the point where I felt physically ill after reading them, and were completely out of character for the woman I've known almost two decades. One thing is certain - mental changes have occurred since this gaming demon entered our lives. Believe me, if it were two years ago and my wife were looking at this situation as an outside observer she would have been the first to be disgusted with everything about it.

As I've been reading the stories on this site I've come to the realization that this addication affects a far wider spectrum of people than I would anticipated. Prior to my wife getting involved with this I would have suspected that gaming addiction, to the extent that such a thing existed at all, would have been the province of 15 year old boys, high school drop outs, and others who generally lack life and coping skills. Now I realize that's just not the case. I've very much appreciated reading your testimony in these pages and watching your video. You are a doctor and are obviously highly intelligent and articulate, yet you fell victim to this addication and struggled with it for years. Likewise, my wife is no flake. She is a highly intelligent woman who received a full tuition scholarship as an undergraduate and has an MBA. Yet here we are. It has been absolutely heartbreaking and depressing to watch this amazing woman, whom I love so much, disengage from me and family life, prefer to spend hour after hour, day after day, month after month glued to the i-pad instead, and now speculate openly about leaving our marriage, breaking up our family, and pursuing a relationship with someone she chats with in the game.

Andrew_Doan
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Sad_Dad wrote: She is a
Sad_Dad wrote:

She is a highly intelligent woman who received a full tuition scholarship as an undergraduate and has an MBA. Yet here we are. It has been absolutely heartbreaking and depressing to watch this amazing woman, whom I love so much, disengage from me and family life, prefer to spend hour after hour, day after day, month after month glued to the i-pad instead, and now speculate openly about leaving our marriage, breaking up our family, and pursuing a relationship with someone she chats with in the game.

Unfortunately, addiction does not discriminate by intelligence or position in society.

Based on medical research, it seems that gaming stimulates the mind and body like a narcotic painkiller:

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/12/146775049/virtual-penguins-a-prescription-for-pain

Combine the above with the brain and physiological arousal (i.e. release of adrenaline and other arousing hormones) with now sexual stimuli, the body is being stimulated through two main neuroendocrine systems:

1) hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis (arousal stimuli)

2) hypothalamus-pituitary-gonadal axis (sexual stimuli)

Over time, constant behavioral addiction will change the mind and desires of the addict.

I explain the above in this short video with slides:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCxoHvKRyfE

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

lorisw1969
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i HATE clash of clans.  it

i HATE clash of clans. it has overtaken my boyfriend's life. he plays three different characters on three devices at the same time. now he has taken to playing Boom Beach too. I just recently found out he has spent over $800 in just a month's time buying gems. He doesn't know I know about this yet and I don't know how to bring it up because I had to be "snoopy" to get the information, which makes me feel like sh**. I thought we were trying to build a life together, but he's spending money he doesn't even have to play this **** game. My girls (from a previous relationship) love him to death, but he has his nose glued to the game the minute he walks in the door. They ask him all the time why he plays on the computer so much or make remarks about him sitting there all the time. He will stop for meals and sometimes even grant me an hour to an hour and a half of tv time, although he does bring his phone and ipad so he can while spending "quality time" with me. He says that it shouldn't matter if he's playing the game while sitting next to me watching TV...he's "there." I totally feel your pain and I feel worthless and insignificant. I know where his priorities are...and I'm not one of them. :(

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I feel your pain too, Loris.

I feel your pain too, Loris. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? Even our eight year old daughter has started saying things like "Why is mom always on the i-pad?" You would think this would be a huge wake-up call, but no. I don't even know what to say to that.

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I have started to despise

I have started to despise smart phones and definitely clash of clans!! My husband is on it all the time too, along with other games and websites :( I hate being ignored for a game, and he spends money on it too. He once spent $200 in one weekend on clash of clans!!! Luckily, the money spending has died down to almost nothing, but he has now added TONS of games. Just looked at our iPad and he has at least 20- not to mention any he has on his phone :/

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I am so glad to have finally

I am so glad to have finally found something like this online. My boyfriend has been addicted to Clash of Clans for roughly the past 3 years. It began when he injured his back at work and had some time off, but his injury subsided and the addiction continued. On an average day I roll over in the morning to say hello and see he already has his phone in his hand and this will happen on and off to when we go to bed with the light of his phone lighting up the room. He has multiple accounts now, one on his iPad, one on his old phone and now one on his new phone. I have snooped and found itunes receipts which though I haven't added them all together would surely exceed $1,000.00. He LIES continuously about the money, is adamant he doesn't have a problem and says it's a 'hobby' and likens it to people spending money on a new playstation game every now and then. I am sick to death of spending time with him and him never truly being 'present', I am fed up with crying and panicking that the man I am with is incapable of making responsible financial decisions. Yet I wonder whether I am being unfair or unreasonable and worry what our families would say if I broke it off over this reason. Everybody notices that he spends alot of time on the game, some laugh and others tell him to stop but nobody sees it to the extent I do.

iammane
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If you tell them how much

If you tell them how much it's costing I'm certain they'll stop laughing.. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Playing the same game on three different devices with three different accounts definitely exudes addictive behavior

Last game played: 7/28/14

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Spike wrote: I don't mean
Spike wrote:

I don't mean to be harsh, but, just go ahead and super-glue his face to the phone, like literally

Ha!

Alyberry
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I'm so sorry to all of you

I'm so sorry to all of you affected by Coc. It is a horribly addicting game and unfortunately most of those who play it don't realize how much they are addicted. I was one of these people.

Sad Dad, thanks for your story...It brought tears to my eyes because i now REALLY know what my husband was going through. I play Clash of Clans for about 6 months. My husband and I had just got married and I found the game..We do not have kids, but things were awful for us at that time. We own businesses together and he and our manager had to take over my duties as I didn't do them anymore. My friendships in real life went down the drain. I spent money I really didn't have.. etc. I know what these people go through and its awful. I feel WAY worse looking back at how my husband felt. I haven't played any screen based game for 5 weeks and still going strong. BUT it took my willpower to crack this.

The sad thing about Coc, is there is no way to fully kill off your "home base" or game. These game developers make it hard to fully leave the game on purpose and that's SAD!! It really is one of those games that take over peoples lives. I met people on the games whose lives were destroyed by this game..meeting someone new and wanting to start over with them. I don't see this as healthy in any way as this "new" person will be just as addicted as they are. Therefore I was grateful my husband was always there for me offering advice and using this site to try and talk to me any way he could. I was in denial, so a lot of the time I would get defensive and not open up about how much it really was taking over. But he stood by me and did everything he could to help and be very honest with how hurtful I was being to him.

Certain things helped me: My husband feeling no hope for us anymore really shocked me and helped cracked this. We had been seeing a therapist together who finally told us to pack up all games and screens and give them to a friend to hang on to. He fully supported this decision and we did so on December 18th, 2014. This included: both ipads, wii, ps3, and all games associated with them. We did not pack our phones but the ipad was the major trigger for me. I suggest getting a flip phone instead if the phone is the major trigger for your loved one. Basically, get rid of any triggers so you do not have access to it.

I haven't relapsed since but it is a struggle. My advice is to help them when they finally have an "ah ha!" moment. These are few and far between, but hopefully they will come. Encourage your spouse to tell others about their experience with gaming. The more people that knew, the more real the problem was for me.

Gaming is an addiction as bad as any other. Don't deny this. Seek help through this site and from family and friends. You are not alone!!

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I am so sick of my OH with

I am so sick of my OH with this game, he says its his "only release" from stress and what started as the odd login has become a hardcore addiction. We run our own business and he'll say he is going to the toilet and be gone 20 mins.. I know he is on the game! He is on it every evening so its not even worth talking to him and will spend hours re-doing his base. He did this before with another similar game when he was made redundant and whereas I was trying to keep the house going, kids fed and work myself.. all he cared about was whether he had built a good enough village.

I had a massive row with him yesterday and he just went beserk at me! He's a 46 year old man and should know better, I just want to thump him sometimes he makes me so angry!

Kam69
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My husband play for this

My husband play for this game last 2 years, we have 2 lovely children, he's addicted 100%, I hate this game.He spent all his free time playing, I'm so sad and frustrated, don't know what to do. I founded this page and see I'm not alone with this problem.

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Kind of glad to see I'm not

Kind of glad to see I'm not alone in this struggle. I feel for all of you. I knew my husband was playing clash of clans excessively, but today I saw a few gift cards to the google play store and asked him what they were for. He told me it was for clash of clans. I found it concerning because it added up to a few hundred dollars, but figured it was his money so I don't have a right to criticize him. Something didn't add up though and after some snooping I have found that not only has he spent over $2,500 on this game this month alone but that its been going on for 3 or 4 months now. This just happened and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it and figure out how to best approach this. I honestly had no idea people even spent money on the game much less thousands of dollars! I thought we had a mutual agreement that we were saving money so we could move and he could start a different career in which he isn't at work all the time. He works 12 hr days every single day, but has a lot of time on his hands while at work (hence the game addiction). I feel betrayed and like I don't know this man I'm married to. Anyone here have any success in the matter and talking with their s.o. about it? Any advice is appreciated:)

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Rohig1, I am questioning now

Rohig1, I am questioning now what success means... you cannot talk an addict out of addiction. They have to reach rock bottom and you cannot even get them there - all you can do is stop enabling them and live your own life.

I know most people come here as spouses hoping to change their spouses, hoping to get the love and care that is meant to be there in a marriage. It causes a great deal of pain and hurt to realise that this may not happen. That the evil that has encompassed them extends to those who love them and can kill a relationship - sometimes salvaging oneself from such a relationship is all that can be done.

That said, I still believe that the addict should be given a chance to change. Confront him, because honesty is always best in a relationship, but addicts lie... try and maintain your calm when confronting even though it will be hard. If he is in denial nothing will help and you will have to draw strong boundaries to protect yourself. Get friends - you will need them. I have relied heavily on outside relationships in the past 5 months and without them I could never have got where I am today. We are made for relationships and it is these relationships that gaming addicts are killing - so go and get proper friendship relationships, join a spouse group - preferably before confronting him. Detach, form relationships and then try...

I have put most of marriage into saving it from the evil that is addiction. Soon I will have to walk - it still causes tears, but I know I have done the best I can. I have tried as hard as I could. He has been unable and unwilling to either love me or to gain his freedom - he is a slave and will remain one til he learns to press the off switch and accept forgiveness and to humble himself. Right now he cannot... maybe he never will be able to.

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Rohig1, I am questioning now

Duplicate

Andrew_Doan
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I encourage you to attend

I encourage you to attend the spouses meeting:

 

You'll find help and support.

$2500 in one month! WOW!!!

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

justquitclashofclans
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Hi. I just wanted to say my

Hi. I just wanted to say my piece. I'm 27, married and had daughter in DEC 12. I started playing clash of clans march 13 so I could stay up and nurse my daughter without falling asleep. It has been a massive part of my life, and sadly my daughters. I had a maxed base all from farming (ie I didn't buy resources). Checked my base all day long.

The only way I stopped playing was by giving my password to my cousin, and asking her to change it. I had tried to quit before as I think its affecting my marriage. My daughter has sadly always known me to check phone every 10 mins. So hopefully it'll be all uphill for her from now. (I don't think it's actually affected her, but I know it would soon).

The main reason I quit was I went on holiday with my parents and daughter. It was my "time off" and I spent all my spare time playing clash of clans. I was so ashamed of myself. When I returned, I had a good long look and then just decided to take action. Change the password. There's no return.

I wish you gamers luck in quitting, and family/friends strength in helping the gamers quit. I just wanted to share in case there's another mum out there who thinks Shes alone. Certainly none of my mummy friends were addicted to clash of clans

gnote2minix7
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Temporary solution

HI, im one of the person that has dedicated the my life for this game. it quite addicted and i have basically ditch my family for almost 2 month. so, to basically reduce it to the level of healthy gaming, i have downloaded an automated bot into my laptop. now, the most time consuming for this game is to grind gold and elixer to basically upgrade your defense and wall. by using automated bot. i am just basically log in every 20 - 30 min per day only. just for preparation of war. the rest has been take care by the bot. i can now enjoy my quality life with my family while continue playing this crazy game. no real money has been used (except for charging the laptop).

TH9 Max

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Max

Max

Addicts cannot moderate their use of gaming and be happy, even with special apps/bots. 

INFO

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Sad_ Dad,

Sad Dad,

Your story spoke to me. I finally decided to research gaming addiction and stumbled across this forum.  For me it is not a comfort to know that so many are going through this like I "hear" others say but it makes me very sad that our spouses do not see the harm they are causing their loved ones.  I've never been on a forum like this and quite frankly would never have ever entertained the idea of joining one. But I am at a loss in trying to  make any sense out how another person's (my husband) choices for entertainment could affect me so deeply.  I just wanted to reach out and tell you, even though I'm sure it helps very little, that I hear you and I'm sorry for the what you are going through.  I have some decisions to make and wondered if there was anything you said or did with your spouse that helped make it better or easier for you.

SadBluEyes

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SadBluEyes, eventually I

SadBluEyes, eventually I learned there was nothing I could say to my spouse that would change the situation.  What helped me was focusing on the parts of my life that were not in turmoil and expecting nothing from my spouse.  This is not easy, but this is the best advice I can give to you.  It can still feel incredibly lonely at times, but you will feel more in control of the situation.  This is what helped me get my dignity back.  It is not right that those of us in this situation should have to beg for table scraps.  Sometimes it can feel like you are the only one in the world that has a problem like this but of course that isn't true.  You are not wrong to feel hurt by your husband's entertainment choices if they are damaging your relationship.  None of us on this board would begrudge our spouses having hobbies, including gaming.  The problem is when gaming becomes their number one priority, ahead of their marriages, families, jobs, and other responsibilities.

I'm very sorry that you too are going through this.  I know it hurts very, very deeply.  I wish you well in whatever decisions you make.
 

mommy_G
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My husband is addicted to COC

I feel really hurt thinking that we (me and my child) is so boring that he needs to find entertainment.

Right now, i just ignore whatever he does.

Thanks to sad_dad, I will follow your advice. I will focus on my life and my son and expect nothing from my spouse.

Jojo82
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Clash of Clans ruined my marriage

My husband started playing Clash of Clans and soon played all the time; all hours of the night, day at work etc. my two young girls and I begged him so many times to stop playing just for a little while and pay attention to us, but he started getting angry when we asked and soon did very little with us and nothing around the house. We booked our first out of country, tropical family vacation and I asked him to put the phone away and focus on me and the girls to which he agreed, but that didn't happen! The whole two weeks we were there he played almost all night after the girls and I went to bed, for hours every morning, and in the bathroom. The low point of the trip was when he went out for the day alone (as our girls were too young for what he wanted to go do), got back to the resort, and refused to watch a movie at the theater because he was tired and wanted to sleep. When we got back to our room after the movie he was on his phone!!! He had been playing for six months at this point. When we arrived home from our trip he insisted the girls and I visit my parents and started acting weird, days later he informed me we were no longer wanted and to never come home as we didn't love him enough and HE felt ignored! Two weeks later; on our 13 year anniversary he finally confest to an online afair with another gamer from his clan, I was devastated as in 13 years we never even argued, he was my best friend and I though we had the perfect marriage. Although I begged him daily for the next month not to be unfaithful he flew to the country she was in and shacked up with her (she is married too with two daughters, her husband was deployed in the army at the time). At the end of the week they broke up realizing that the realashonship was based on fiction and hormones and he begged me not to divorce him. We did eventually work things out but Clash of Clans continued to be an issue which fed my insecurities and led to me telling him it was me and the girls or the game (I packed the kids up and told him after everything he was still cheating on me with a game and I wanted a divorce). He admited it had become an addiction and after a couple weeks he finally managed to stop and found ways to block himself out of the game, which is really hard to do and you almost need to be a genious to figure it out (we are both good with tech and it took both of us to figure it out). He knows he could create a new account and start playing again, but so far has refrained, it's been a couple months. In the 8 months he played he spent over $3000 on Clash of Clans! My once perfect marriage is now full of doubt, insecurity and fear. Although he admits it all started because he was in a negative place and all the problems he tried to say we're my and the kids fault were really his own (he got counciling) I still worry all the time that he will relapse or get too involved in other games and if he plays a game for more than a few minutes I become paranoid and monitor all his gaming, emails, Facebook, etc.  I forgave him, but I don't know if I will ever be able to forget and trust him.

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Jojo welcome to the forum.

Jojo welcome to the forum. Thank you for sharing your story. You have been through so much. I really hope that will continue to come through this. Please take care of yourself so you can continue to recover from this ordeal and be strong for your family. You are awesome.

INFO

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Jojo82
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Thank you

Thank you for your comment. I found this forum when my husband was off with her, but was to broken to add my story at the time of how my husband gaming addiction lead to adultry and his abandonment of me and his daughters. This forum did help me realize I was not alone, and I knew one day I'd tell my story to help others know that they too are not alone. I hope they also come away from reading it knowing that when it is at its darkest sometimes things can still come full circle and work out. My husband and I are still working at putting this addiction and what it caused behind us, but one day at a time hopefully we will make it through.

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This is a growing epidemic

I went out of town for a family emergency and came back to a different man.  He was distant and always on his phone playing Clash of Clans.  He never stopped.  He snuck off all of the time to rooms and stuff with his phone and I realized something was going on.  He left his phone to go into the store for a moment and I stayed with our children in the car.  I picked up his phone to check my email because my son had my phone.  I saw right there... emails.  Tons of emails.  From and to this woman he met in clash of clans.  My heart was shattered and it's been an ongoing process over the last 5 months to repair the damage that was done.  They had plans to meet up at a hotel and everything.  He went into therapy and was diagnosed with depression and compulsive lying.  The Depression is something he has apparently always had and use to be on depression meds but just quit one day.  My own pyschologist expressed to me that men get online and create this fantasy world and some how mentally separate it from reality to make it so as not to be really cheating.  But it is.  And it's not good.

Life is short... so live.

CANTTAKEMRE
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My husband is choosing Clash of Kings over our 10 year marriage

My husband, one of the most brillant people I have ever known has become addicted to Clash of Kings! When it first began I was convince he was cheating. The only problem with the senario is that he would have had to be out of my presence in order to do that! He was rarely gone. In fact, my husband had decided to change careers and go back to college. It was a bold move at our age. ( am his second wife) After he finished up in the first degree and had just moved on to grad school which we decided together he would do online for the most part and then fly out to the campus a few times a year for testing and different things so that he would not have to leave the family, I was noticing that my husband was spending a lot of time out on the back porch till wee hours of the night. Now, my husband, as I stated is a brillant man and not much intimidates him so I didn't think he was avoiding he school work. Then I realized about 4 months into it that he was NOT doing his work at all. He was sitting out on our back deck playing a video game. Well that was over 3 years ago! Since that time my husband has dropped out of grad school, he was unemployed the entire time until 6 months ago. Our 10th Anniversary was a little over 2 weeks ago. I have been talking about for months. I was so excited about it. Well I spent it at my mothers house moving in with her because I feel so emotionally neglected. He ended up calling me with in 10 minutes of dropping me off to my mothers house and volunteerily saying that he would delete the game if I would just please let him come back and get me. So the next day we did a "do over" for our Anniversary Celebration since it was the weekend. He took me to Apple Bee's. (yea, that was my big 10 year celebration) and got me desert, no dinner because we had already eaten and he was too busy being parked at Kroger parking lot playing Clash of Kings to come home from work on time. The entire time I sat at the table, silent while he messed with his phone pretending to be doing something other than play his game! (like I am stupid) So what happened to deleting it if I would just come home? Even as I lay here in our bed at 2am and he has to be up early for work, he is sitting her next to me playing Clash of Kings. That is what he has been doing since he came home! He would rather have his wife leave him then put the game down and you know what? I am about ready to do just that! I am an attractive woman! I am not ugly, I am not stupid am my son is 17 years old and an honor roll student! I am not carrying a bunch of baggage! Why does this man think i have to stand for this???? I understand addiction! So does he.His degree is in substance abuse counseling! Don't you just love the irony? But because we do understand it, that is why this is unexceptable! To know you have a problem and do nothing about it means you just don't care!

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Welcome Cantakemre

Welcome Cantakemre

So sorry that your husbands addiction has put so much turmoil in your life. It is such a shame for a talented and clever guy. Thanks for your share.

Our general guidance is here

If he is an addict, then he will have hardly any control about what he does. He did not ask to become an addict...not everybody who games has this problem. He is unlucky.  But he is the only one who can seek to change with support. We have many gamers here who have been trying to give up for years, manage to quit and then still have relapses, even though they know they are letting people down. It makes them feel very low about themselves. But the game is the only thing that can make them forget what a dissappointment they are to others. A vicious cycle. This blog post may give you some idea how an addict might feel about letting down a spouse.

He can find support to quit through this site from other gaming addicts, or he could attend NA, AA or other meetings like some of our members have done. Or other professional therapy. But it will be hard.

Sometimes all the loved ones or 'anons' can do is to figure out the ways we are supporting the addiction by enabling and stop (see thread here for signed up members only) http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling-spousessos-addicted

and "detach with love", (see thread here for signed up members only) http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/detachment-what-means-and-how-do-it

and work on our own feelings. We can  develop behaviours that will give the best chance for the gamer to help themselves. Leaving him, even temporarily, may be part of that solution.

All the best to you

INFO

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Help for video game addicts click here

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Jojo82
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Still going strong

So it is one year since my husband started an online affair over clash of clans that lead to abandonment and adultery. He came back to me in February after sleeping around with her and at the end of March we got back together, although in April I had to threaten her and him to make sure he quit coc for good and the who're couldn't weasel her way into my marriage again. Since the end of April beginning of may, no clash of clans. It's been 6 months of no coc and 8 since we reunited. We play another game together, but if I get frustrated with how much he plays he puts it away, and even deleted it once without being asked, when I expressed feeling insecure. He apologizes constantly for hurting our daughters and I, and when I have a melt down constantly says how he knows it's all his fault and how much he hates himself and how I'm the only woman who ever loved him, how he loves only me and how disgusted he is that he lost sight of that. On one bad day he even surprised me at work with flowers and begged me for forgiveness for not seeking how things were effecting me sooner. I think we've come a long way!

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Thanks for sharing your

Thanks for sharing your update JoJo. So glad that you are all in a much better place now. Awesome outcome. xx

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Pjsiebert
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:(

My husband is addicted to this very same game. I'm seeing the same exact behavior other spouses have listed here in him. Even with our kids.
Everything seems to be slowly, one by one, piling on top of me to handle.
I try to think about how his mind is working and it's screwing me up in the process. I can't even really identify what sort of emotion I have towards it. The closest thing I could see it as is betrayal. But it's so strange and foreign to me because it's an obsession with a false reality.
I'm dealing with a health issue that hopefully can be resolved with medication and not invasively...and I'm afraid of that mainly because I think I'd end up still being in charge of everything and wouldn't have any downtime to heal.
Our anniversary is next week...and I'm not excited about it. I'm tired of handling everything. I'm tired of planning everything. When he does decide to pencil me in to his schedule I feel like it's forced. And then when he asks what's wrong or happens to catch me sitting upset, he seems wildly offended when I tell him how I'm feeling. I feel so lost in it. How can I at least try to get him to realize how I feel? Because flat out talking.to him through my tears is not sinking into him. I know someone who's spouse became.addicted to a drug and she said the abandonment and neglect of him choosing a drug over her was horrible and would have rather found out that all of it was because of another woman, instead of it being a synthetic man made chemical.that's how I feel. Except my husband's drug of choice is an app.

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Welcome Pjsiebert.

Welcome Pjsiebert.

Gaming addiction has altered your husbands brain function and holds him in a mental dependancy that is hard to get out of. It's unfortunate that he is in a minority of people that are open to addiction. If addicts are enjoying their addiction then it's hard for them to see sense and any need to change. The spouse sees the gamer having all the fun and also shirking their responsibilities; so it is very hard to be living with that. Recovered gamers on this site tell us that they did not have any comprehension about the devastation gaming caused to their families at the time, even though their loved one's complained to them. Only after recovery or feeling consequences can the gamer start to see all is/was not well.

On the spouses forum we advocate self care and detachment from the gamers choices to find peace, because we learn all we can control is our own recovery from living with an addict. Welcome advice here

Sorry that you have a health problem to cope with also. I hope you can find support from others such as friends and family to help get you though. Hugs to you xx

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

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Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

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WeaknessIsStrength
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Pray

Hello everyone, I found this forum after uninstalling clash of clans. I have already thanked God for helping me escape this demon addiction and asked for his help for everyone who has been and continues to be hurt by it. 

I am a husband of 3 years, no kids and an amazing wife and for the last 2 years I have been slowly getting consumed more and more by clash. I can attest that there is really nothing you can say to someone that is in the middle of this affliction. I have fought my wife over it, told myself that I am managing it and blaming my wife for overreacting. Telling myself that if she loves me she will accept the game! I have spent over 200 dollars over the years on this game, all for nothing that has any real value.

Recently there was an update to the game (Dec 2015) that has made the game require more time and money to play successfully, this caused me to search for negative opinions about the game and I came across this article that really helped.

 I realised that it had to end. 

No one deserves to be treated the way this game makes people treat their spouses. I don't have the answers but I believe in a god who does. 

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

No_Money
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Thanks for sharing..

Thank you all for sharing and I'm sorry for those affected by this game.

I've been playing Clash Of Clans for about 3 years and would have never considered myself an addict until reading some of the things posted in this thread that caused others pain. I'm 22 years old living at home, going to school full-time but haven't worked in a few months.

Most if not all of the things listed in your stories, are also true about me. I would spend hours on end each day, whether it be recreating my base, raiding other bases for loot, or simply just talking to fellow clan members; I've even went far enough to add a lot of them on Facebook, since we've all been in the same group for about two years now.

I started off as most people would expect, just playing regularly and trying to avoid spending money on the game; but, once you are ok with spending 5-10$ once, you find yourself convincing yourself a lot of the times that it's ok to keep doing it once in a while. After 3 years of playing, I can comfortably tell everyone here that i've spent roughly 600-700$ on Clash Of Clans. I always try to convince myself that it's not a lot of money, but I am really ashamed that I could let so much money go to waste on a game.

My addiction started when I fractured my right hand in the summer; I was playing every hour of every day while I was bed-written, watching breaking bad while I waited for my army to be ready to attack. This lasted the entire month I was casted because I could not go outside do to heat conditions (moisture from sweat in the cast could cause skin cracking and inevitably lead to infections); however, when my cast came off, my addiction continued.

I'm just reading this forum for the first time today and I plan on putting an end to this addiction; However, I will not stop playing completely, I will just reduce the amount of time I spend on it to the point where I don't even think about it anymore. I've already slowly reduced the amount of times I go on and I haven't spent any money in a while. When I'm with my girlfriend or family I don't even dare to look at my phone.

Thank you so much for posting this and helping me to open my eyes and realize what this game has become of me. I wish you all well with your own situations and that they get better.

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Welcome No_Money and

Welcome No_Money and WeaknessIsStrength

Thank you for your experience regarding  your problem with COC. We're glad you found us.

If you need help with quitting gaming please check out the forums on the OLGA part of the site

For example: http://www.olganon.org/forums/olga-recovering-gamer-forums open to the public

http://www.olganon.org/forums/olga-recovering-gamer-members-only-forums gamer members only

Screening tool for excessive gamers here

How gamers can use this site here

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

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Help for video game addicts click here

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Withbrknwings
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Wow. I never knew how

Wow. I never knew how widespread this problem was! My husband also has an issue with CoC. That is all he does! He cannot go to the bathroom without his phone, eat without his phone, heck, he cannot even change our daughter's diaper without clanning in mid change.

My husband often works long hours at his job, then he comes home in the evenings and goes into the garage and drinks beer and plays CoC. This is our life. It has been incredibly lonely this past year. I feel like a single parent. He won't give me or our kids the time of day. It is so frustrating.

We used to have a pretty nice relationship and he used to be my best friend. However, over the last year or more it has become more like we are roomates who engage in occasional small talk. When I do talk to him I may as well be talking to a brick wall.

I feel all of your pain and am very surprised to come across this forum. I never knew so many other people were going through the same thing as myself!

addict
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Well... where to begin. 

Well... where to begin. 

I am that addicted husband and I even tried going on a break after "relapsing" after about a month off the game. It is addicting. It is a serious money making time killing business and I am confident that it will cause more harm after the years than the initial purchase burns throughout. I try to justify the game because I have spent very little over the years on the game ($30 in about 1.5 years) and have reached a solid plateau on the game at a maxed th9 15/15 heroes (geek talk here). But I found myself being more angry over a bad war attack than road rage and upstairs neighbor's footsteps. It also doesn't help that a few of my best friends, family members, and some great acquaintances play the game actively and we've all had great conversations via the clan chat. I original joined because a family member forcefully installed and created an account on my device. I played countless hours since late 2014. A year and a half later, I still have a job, but I am failing at my social life and my wife speaks about this disconnect and negligence often mentioned in this thread. 

i made a decision and again deleted the game from my galaxy. i secured the deal by putting strict parental controls on my google play account and making my wife set the password. :D

Sometimes you have to take that next step. One thing I have noticed is that the immediate withdrawal isn't too bad as it results in excessive time and no drug like physical addictions. 

cookiedough
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i want to share my experience

Hi everyone,

I'd like to share my experience with you. I fell in love with my now ex boyfriend. we were together for 7 months and just yesterday i broke up with him because of this game. at first when we met he gave me all the attention and time of day. everything was perfect. i was head over heels for him, in fact i believe i loved him more than he did. prior to all of this, back in february time, i realised he developed a passion for a new game (CoC of course).... at first i didnt pay much attention to it because it was just a game and i didnt want to come across as a controlling jealous freak type of girlfriend. out of the blue his passion and addiction for this game soared. there was times when he would not even speak to me or even stop half way during his meal to play this game. at this point i started to get a really bad gut feeling inside me. im not a gamer at all and absolutely hate games so I didnt know much about the different types of features this game consists of. i spoke to friends about it because at this point i became very paranoid and wanted to know what was so interesting in this game than me. after speaking to a close girl mate, she told me she had a very similar experience with herex bf and she told me it had a chat feature on there. from there i became even more paranoid as u can imagine and began questioning this **** of an ex of mine, he confirmed it did have a chat feature but he only used it to communicate solely for the purpose of the game. having said that, i had no choice but to believe him but he still continued to play this game addictively. i didnt think much about it as i mentioned earlier im not into games plus i never imagined he would be having online affairs. then yesterday i managed to go through his inbox in fron of him on this game and one girls profile caught my attention. a pretty looking girl. i opened the message and started reading. he had been chatting to this girl about himself and her. nothing to do with the game. i was so shocked because i already had a bad feeling about that game. ladies im warning u.... if he is addicted to that game hes probably having an affair. leave him. u deserve some one better. that game is from hell. im so heartbroken at the moment because i thought he was different but i guess not. if hes playing clash of clans ladies i can guarantee u 10000% sure he is cheating on you. if he is getting funny about u checking his messages on his inbox on the game then know that he is cheating on u with online players. dont know why men do this especially when they have a good girl yet theyre willing to risk it and lose her over a game. know ur worth ladies. if u put up with this crap then tomorrow when he leaves u its going to affect u. leave him before he leaves u. seriously. 

cookiedough

seeking_hope
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CoC has ruined my marriage

I have been brought to tears by the stories here - the loneliness of my life is echoed in these posts. My husband plays CoC every waking moment - like many of the stories here he gets online the moment he wakes up, takes his tech with him everywhere, playing during meals and family time ignoring me and the kids, getting angry when we interrupt him or mess up a battle. It has only gotten worse. He now runs 3 different clans with 10-15 different user accounts (maybe even more that I don't know of...) and seems to only care about the game. No time for anything else. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea of just doing things for myself and the kids and accepting this, but I am really struggling. I am so depressed and so scared to do this alone, but I am maybe even more scared things are never going to change. Any time I try to bring it up he just turns it around on me - I'm overly sensitive or it's unfair for me to ask him to give this up cuz at least he is not out drinking. It doesn't feel that much different :-(  I need help and I feel so alone. I have read through a lot of the spouse/significant other posts and see so many people struggling with this - I know there are many people in this situation but it still feels so dark and hopeless. what if things never change? 

TyreXo
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Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
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Joined: 07/26/2016 - 2:36pm
Games

Hi guys.

Boy, 23, Mike btw xD.

This Forum seems interesting and I'm gonna tell my kind of story I think.

Since I was young, I grew up to the country and then got in the city at 7-8 years, Did whole studies in the city.

First Time I saw a Pc was at my unckle, never saw a pc before, an old pc and a lot of cd/dvd-s with demo games, he didn't have network and I used only what he got from some other ppl.

I continued to use that pc till I grew more and Asking to go to pc bars, idk how much did cost, like 3-4$ per 2 hours just to play some games.

Was interesting you know? The technology they are made, the functionality, the energy that keeps up day and night, even if is not good.

Now I'm Asking myself, Is my life changed because I grew up conjured by this pc technology or is same?

First java phone I had at the age of 14 and first android phone at the age of 21 I think, not so much money, you know how it is, even you think is cheaper for you, is not for others.

I continued to study the pc technology and java and android, and at 23 (present age) I'm thinking, "Man, is enought, just quit this things and go out and put your face in some giant sand sandwitch, [at 23 would think that i'm a crazy lol, but i'm very childish and I like to do stupid things],I like so many things, but unfortunetly they are far away from my city and I can't go closer to them, So I just bare with my laptop or pc from time to time).

Watching movies and tv-serials on the internet is more idk, is just like at the cinema, but alone in the dark room,Alone a lot.

Some of my age should study or go in other countryes or getting some jobs in some places far away from home, I'm not such someone to go far away.

I saw this game CoC and I ask myself again (Ok, you install the game, play it a little time, but you event didn't try to see over this game, if you check out the internet, you will see so many links to "cracked" version of this games where you have so much stuff like are you speding 90.000$ but you have them free, because is hacked by some anonimously person there.)-(I tried the cracked version and is so Much Boring time spent on the cracked versions of this CoC game, I mean even with cracked version or original game, is totally boring, I'm not going to put my wallet in some strangers games and then oh look -the servers are down, -the game no longer exist, -this game got disqualified from store.

Listen to me, Idk if is the right place, but, If you are addicted to some "free" game over the internet, pc,laptop,android,ios,mac, etc..

Ask yourself, What I would do in the future, what this will help me out? Where this brings me to, I'm gonna die with this game?

Answers are right in front of you :

- OF COURSE NOT, because :

1).This games are existing only as a product from some company where they are paid from your wallet while you are in your fascinating world of idk, coc, castle clash,dekaron,metin,aion,etc...

2).The games could got a very hard decisions so in time they could shutdown the servers for a better financial partners who could buy the server and change everything like name, skins, accesories, deleting all data meaning all your account details with purcashes and everything.

So the money you give today to a game online only server made, will not make you better, will make you more poor per day you spend money on it.

3).Will cause you so much trouble just because you play 24/24 that game over and over and over again. [Don't do it! The game will never stop getting money from you for "super uper duper items that can make you fly or have some dragon fire from mouth"]

4).Your social life will be ruined, unless you get yourself a "wifei" [like some network wife like you who spend days on same games and likes it].

Don't try to be someone else just because people beside you try best to protect you from those profitors, let them pull your hair if is that a good decision to make you stop, or just to delete your character so you can see how easily "your fantasy world" could be destroyed by a single button.

Hope some people could get over this ruining life games, because are not, in first place "free" at is says, and are not good for the body.

Can get you sick or any other things more dangerously than outside.

That's all I can say ;3

Marzy
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Last seen: 2 years 10 months ago
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Joined: 01/10/2017 - 10:24pm
Husband addicted to clash of clans

Sometimes I can't take it anymore, for the last couple months my husband spends more time with his phone attached to his hand then his family... at first when he started playing clash of clans it wasn't as much. Know he takes his phone everywhere we eat dinner together but the phone has to be near him. And if I mention anything about the game he will say why can't I play it I'm not on it all the time. But that's the thing he is on it all the time... if not my daughter I would have left him because sometimes I look at what he's doing and it makes me sick to my stomach. When I met him, when we started dating he told me he doesn't play games he doesn't do this are that. But all these true colors that he blinded me with are coming all out. And I thought finally I met a good guy. But for me a good guy spends more time with the family not a phone that doesn't breath and share feelings with. But instead he rather spend time playing that game... but I can't wait around until he realizes he's missing the best time with he's family so I decided to focus on what my daughter needs and myself... one day he will regret it but for us it may be to late... because I'm not gone wait around for him to grow up.. 

 

lakshmikrishna
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Last seen: 2 years 7 months ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 03/25/2017 - 2:53pm
Clash of Clans breaked my relationship

I wanted to share with someone, since i dont have any frnds and i believed that my lover is my world. everything changed - because of clash of clans. 7 years of friendship and 4 years of love everything disappeared from him. He started playing the game 2 weeks ago, and he started hating me day by day. I was waiting for his call, but he will be busy with the game. I was longing for him, he made me cry daily. I begged him to speak, but still he wont. He told the game makes him to feel relief, Why dont he could speak if he s really stressed.... ?? He was really a good lover and no one be like him, his care, his love was really really made me to  love him more and more..... but now the way he treat me really made me in bad situation.... we thought of marrying in one year, everything disappeared like a nightmare.... he literally hate me to the core now.... am being lonely, thought to die without his presence,,,,, I hurt myself sometimes... pray to god to give him back into my life..... he promised me one time when i cry at the most,  terribly.. that he will delete/uninstall the game. but within 2 mins he told i ll delete it but you took away my happiness... I dont know , many girls/women/wives suffer because of this.... please somebody find some solution.... spoiled many life..... the person who felt that am an angel into his life , is feeling now am the burden came for him throughout his life... i tried to explain many times, pls take some care of me... but he is not in a position to listen.... I really beg   please boys/man/husband try to respect your girls, they are really live for you and your family, give importance to them, they need you in their life ... you are the world to them.... if this situation  had happened to your sister/relatives then how you will react. plssssssssss respect girls who sacrifice their family and live for you.........

 

lakshmi

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