For the start i am a dutch girl living in the Netherlands :-)
My English writing isn't that well... good that my phone can help hahah... so you guys know why i make mistakes sometimes.
I am in a relationship of 2,5 years.
We life now together for 1 year.
For him it's the first time out away from his parents. For me not i have been living with my ex before for a period of 3 years.
I left my ex becouse we didn't match in... how to say in English...
I can work... i have a fulltime job i have my own car etc... my ex wanted me to stay home and just cook and clean he was mostly lazy. Started calling me things like fat etc.
So i went back to my sweet daddy :-)
A year later i met a nice boy he is still doing his high school, don't know if high school is same as HBO in Dutch. He made me feel alot better and more secure of my life.
By than i knew he liked games... but not tht he liked them SO much...
When we started living together i got a new job somewhere far away, more than 1 hour drive from home and i had to go for a month on a 2 hour drive education.
He helped painting the house do the floors etc.
But after that the pc went back in house he gamed for 2 months day and night... than 3 weeks holiday with me and after that again 2 months of gaming. Not looking for a job...
When his school started in September he still kept gaming untill oktober or so... than was my first break down... you see i keep going to my work everyday and he just spends his free time on gaming untill 01:00am and i pay everything he pays me a small amount every month cus he still has no job.
So i cried that i didn't want to life my live like this... etc.... and he promised to seek a job and game less..
Well again a few months went by of course he kept gaming... and putting a little effort in finding work...
In that time he started cooking and vacuuming.
He also tries to keep doing stuff with me in the weekends and some evenings.
But i got a new breakdown a large one.
I went one night to bed and started crying and crying i couldn't stop... after 30 mins he noticed some sounds or so and came to me asking what there was... i still couldn't tell what was wrong becouse i know he can also het angry bout me whining about his gaming so i just said i dont know.
But he knew what it was...
So he was able to stop gaming or limit to minimum for 3 weeks.
Now he starts doing it all over again :-(
Late nights, daytime and weekends.
Not as much as he did but still alot again.
He still goes out with me and with my family.
But i just don't know what to do now...
I want to be alone again... but is it me? Am i the one who sees it wrong? Am i just overreacting?
Do i want to be all my life with an addict?
I meen who says he will stop when he is 40?
You know i dont know if i am wrong or not...
Btw i have an alcoholic as a mother... so it also feela like i am doomed for living my life with an addict grrrrr.
Tomorrow i go to doc asking for some therapy or so.
But does any of you have advice or whats so ever to clear my mind just a little?
I wrote this fast so if there are things i forgot to tell ask me :-)
Such long letter hahah
Sadness isn't that bad... but it should only contain 10% in your life