This is pretty much a journal post/cry of help or insight. Hope thats ok.

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Dballz
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This is pretty much a journal post/cry of help or insight. Hope thats ok.

I've been struggling with the idea of gaming for a long time, a couple years now.  I grew up doing it, and I know gaming is not inherently bad.  The main reason why it's so difficult for me to say "yes I have a problem" or "no i don't, im cool" is because of my religious beliefs.  I'm convinced God hates it when I play video games, and so that makes this whole "am I addicted? well idk" a lot harder to figure out.  Why?  Cuz I love gaming, it's hella fun, but of course I'm gonna feel like sh** if God is wanting me to stop and I'm disobeying Him.  Of course I'm going to binge-game if I tried to quit cold turkey for God and then came back because I love to game.  So, this aspect really makes it difficult.

 

The not so difficult part is that, God out of the picture, I think I may have a problem.  I can't remember why, but I tried to stop playing video games all together a couple weeks ago.  It was just eating a lot of my time, and it seemed to add to my anxiety.  I had just resubbed to WoW, and quite honestly I didn't play too much, but the motivation to get my sh** done was always cuz I wanted to have free time later that night to game.  I did my hw, got my sh** done, went to work, it was all groovy, but the fact that the entire time I was looking forward to gaming was kind of alarming to me.  Like, is that all I really have to look forward to with my life?  
Before I quit, I had been wanting to play Halo again, never owned an xbox.

A week and a half later, after I quit, I bought the new Halo Xbox One S bundle.  And binged hard.  Through out that week I wasn't even craving gaming, or wishing I was playing cuz I needed the games.  There were times when I wanted to game, but that was because I was so ****ing bored there was nothing else to do.  Even then, I would just put on some Netflix and munch on snacks.  Wasn't "all consuming".

So when I bought that xbox I was a little surprised, but I think it was cuz I wasn't sure if I was an addict.  Yeah, I probably love gaming a bit too much, but addicted?  I wasn't craving anything.  

 

But that's why I'm on here.  Even as I write up this whole thing, I feel like i'm in denial big time.  I wanted to type this out on a site like this because I know you guys know what it's like to be in my shoes.  Idk what I'm looking for with this post tbh.  I just wanted to talk about it so someone other than my friend cuz he and I are in the same boat.  He quit a week ago, but the day after coming over to co-op on some Halo with me, set his ps4 back up, and told me he would eventually play again, but he wanted to make sure he was more discaplined this time.  So you can tell he's not the best person to talk to about this...

 

...anyways I could keep going but I'll stop cuz I'm hungry.

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Polga
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Welcome to OLGA Daniel and

Welcome to OLGA Daniel and thanks for sharing

I don't think whether you have true addiction or not is that important to get fixated on right now

What is important is deciding if gaming is making your life unbalanced or stopping you for enjoying other things. From what you are saying, it sounds like it could be the case.

To illustrate this point, there is a post on another site that shows pie charts of  time spent on different areas when in addiction, and in recovery.

http://www.addictionrecoveryguide.org/message_board/index.php?act=ST&f=19&t=66919

You can decide how you want you life to look like. If you need help to change to that 'new you' then keep coming back here for support!

All the best

 

 

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Dballz
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Wow... that was a really

Wow... that was a really powerful article.  

It's exactly how I felt during that time when I quit.  Sure I wasn't gaming, but I wasn't doing anything else either.  I expected to quit, and if I was addicted, suddenly have this drive to do other things, but that really wasn't the case.  I was still just as depressed/bored/etc, but with no gaming in the mix.

 

Thank you.

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Silvertabby
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Hi Dballz and welcome to Olga

Hi Dballz and welcome to Olga.  First of all, I would encourage you to check out the "Screening Tool for Excessive Gamers" found here.  This will show you just how addicted you truly are to gaming.  Secondly, check out the list of withdrawal symptoms found here.  This is what you can experience when you quit gaming.  These two posts can really help you figure out if you are truly addicted or not.  From your first post, it sounded like you weren't really sure.

From what you said in your response to Polga, it sounds like you are addicted.  I felt just the same way as you felt when I quit gaming.  I, too, thought I would have all this energy to get things done after I quit gaming.  But instead I had very little motivation to do anything, was depressed and felt like an emotional basket case.  What I found out was that it takes time for our brains to rewire after we quit gaming.  In addition to that, we have to go through withdrawal that can last for weeks or even months.  I would say it took me a good 6 months to really be able to enjoy doing other things once again. 

If you would like to connect with otherss who are traveling this road of recovery from gaming addiction, I would encourage you to attend meetings.  You don't have to do it alone.  You can find the list of meetings here.

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

wazzapp
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Thanks for sharing, very

Thanks for sharing, very relatable

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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