To post about Step 1, go here: Step 1, Thread 5 To read what others have shared about Step 1, reat this, Step 1 - Thread 1 and Step 1 - Thread 2 and Step 1 - Thread 3 and Step 1 - Thread 4.
Posted on: Sun, 11/03/2002 - 8:37pm
Posted by Aryianna
Posts: 248
Joined: 2002-10-21
[OLGA Member]
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance
ADMISSION STEP
Membership Requirement
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance
Step 1:
We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
This step states the membership requirement of O.L.G.A. We use gaming to avoid our pain.
We live in a fantasy world.
We cannot cope with our real life.
Our denial kept us from seeing how powerless and unmanageable our lives had become.
We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of gaming. We must admit that we are licked as far as gaming is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot game like other people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop gaming. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from "social" gamers?
There are two parts to this step: powerlessness and unmanageability.
Powerlessness
Powerless over our separation from our spiritual base, we use gaming to fill the void caused by that separation
Have you found yourself unable to control your online gaming?A Did you feel that you had no power to put limitations on the amount of time you spent playing?A Do you find yourself spending time in the game, even though you don't want to?A Do you find you don't have the willpower to stop playing?
Unmanageability
Has your life become unmanageable as a result of online game addiction?A Is your life out of control?A Are there areas of responsibilities that you've been neglecting as a result of playing online games?
Recovery starts by surrendering and by admitting that there is something wrong. Not everyone who plays on-line games are addicts, but those who are addicts are the ones who have lost control -- have experienced powerlessness and unmanageability.
We had to stop fighting a Higher Power, ourselves and others.
The solution:
- Honesty
- Open-mindedness
- Willingness
Members, feel free to share your experience, strength and hope on this subject by replying to this thread.
Some of you have asked that I start off the discussion, since you really don't know how to go about sharing or what to share, so here goes.
Powerlessness as it related to my gaming meant that I was unable to log off at times that I had set for myself. A Often I would end up playing past 4:00 a.m. and had to get up around 8:30 a.m. to be at work. A Now I can't tell you whether it was the game or the guy who's part of my story (some of you know my drama story) that kept me logged on that long, but the point I'm trying to make is that at times I had no control over how long I would stay in the game.
As a result of my powerlessness (to control how long I would stay logged), my life had become unmanageable. To this day, I still have a stack of mail that I need to get through and sort. I had neglected bills, returning phone calls, going out with friends, appointments with friends for the game.
It's important for me to see my lack of control and the resulting unmanageability that followed in my life. By admitting both, I am able to do something about my problem.
Okay, your turn!
Posted on: Sun, 11/03/2002 - 9:35pm
Post by AremUlosia
Posts: 65
Joined: 2002-08-29
[OLGA Member]
I had a bad problem of powerlessness.
Way back when, after the release of Kunark, I finally got my chance to start taking too the planes for the famed planar armor. ( Back then it was sort of the high class armor for those who were at the top, but not the uberl33t ) I would try to do a pickup raid every now and again, thinking i would get lucky, but I quickly learned that in order to even have a chance to get armor with the seniority rating, I would have to go.. a lot.
Now for the Valorium Armor which was the paladins plane armor, existed on things called fetid fiends, and were a normal melee mob in the plane of fear. There were a total of 13 of them in a full spawn, and there were male and female kinds. The ratio of male to female was completely random, and only the male drops the armor. And on the male, the armor is a rare drop. So on a good night, two to three pieces may drop, and on a normal night, one or no pieces droped.
See the pattern here? Verant's devilish schemes in the work.
A good raid ( normally guild raids, guild members only )with a few wipe outs would last 5-6 hours. To clear the whole zone minus CT , 6-8 hours. The uber guilds can plow through the zone in perhaps 2-3 hours, and to clear the whole zone, maxium three. A bad raid ( normally pickup ) normally has numoerous wipe outs, with a corpse recovery either taking anywhere upwards from 2-6 hours. If a person cant get a powerful group of people to help assist with the CR, it can last the whole raid, and the raid becomes a CR raid. People often lose bubbles of exp, some even lose levels, with no hopes of getting it back.
Even if the raid goes smoothy, the average amount of time for a person to get their full set of planes armor takes a month, if not more, of raiding everyday, or every other day. Thats ( for most people ) 5-7 hours a night, everynight, of mind numbing camping to hope for their armor.
Well, I took the bait. I wanted the armor, so I ended up attending about 45 raids and got the full set of armor, except the helm I could of got if I didnt over sleep. Just do the math, and see how much of my life I wasted over IMHO bulls**t.
45 x 6( Avg ) = 270 hrs + (45hrs of corpse recovery times ) = 13.15 Days of my life, staring at a PC, trying to get some now absolutely USELESS armor no one bothers to get anymore since you can get PoP or SoV and get phat dragon armor l3wt.
I would normally be up to 2am on school nights, having to wake up 4 hours later. My grades plummeted, I started falling alseep in class, of course My social life ( which was little to nothing ) died the rest of the way, and my parents were always on me for the bad grades. I could never really be happy with my life, because I had no friends, my parents didnt really even life me anymore, my grades sucked, so I dived into EQ even more.
I even got so upset at times with stuff that happened ingame, I couldnt sleep. Being cussed out, lied too, cheated on, made me so mad, because I couldnt seperate EQ from RL. Essentally, the social life on EQ was MY REAL social life, and It cut me up so bad, I still suffer from it. Like I said, I ended up going to EQ for my social needs.
And we all know how much of a sespool that is.
Good memories are our second chance at happiness. - Queen Elizabeth II
Posted on: Wed, 12/18/2002 - 12:03am
Post by Diggo McDiggity
Posts: 2061
Joined: 2002-07-04
[Grandparent] [OLGA Member]
I think I hit step 1 at about the 4 month mark, at least that I had become really hooked, but I didn't realize it or acknowledge it until about 4 or 5 months later.
I actually have found myself like that from time to time just playing mod on this board, with tons of posts to answer, feeling like I have to answer every one. It's not the same feeling as it was with EQ, just an overwhelming feeling that I had to catch up constantly.
Ron
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
eMail: eqaddict@cfl.rr.com
Discussion Board Administrator
Everquest player from July, 1999 to April, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
Posted on: Wed, 12/18/2002 - 9:48am
Post by Tosha
Hmm this step was a process for me. It certainly wasn't an overnight discovery. I think what made me powerless and knew the game had control over me was during a huge guild uproar. Somebody that I was close to was saying really bad things about me. I was in my "get my epic" frame of mind after helping countless others get theirs. And I heard she was calling me a "loot whore" to everybody that would listen. I was so hurt when I heard people were agreeing with her and ended up crying to a friend on the phone. I didn't want to play the game anymore, but it had a control over me that I felt I HAD to play, even though it had become a job to me and one that I didn't particulary like.
I think back to those days and remember what I was feeling. I was so depressed because of things that happened in game and let it overflow into my real life. But now I realize that I was depressed in real life and it was overflowing into my game life. And now I look back and ask myself how could I have gotten so wrapped up in the game like that. It was so not worth it.
So for step one for me was this process of finding out that the "friends" online weren't friends and then realizing how much I really hated the game, but continued playing anyway.
Tosha
Post by Diggo McDiggity
Posts: 2061
Joined: 2002-07-04
[Grandparent] [OLGA Member]
I've been thinking really, about my time playing and I really can't think specifically of a time when I was what I would consider to be 'powerless.' I mean because of the thing I neglected in my life by playing, things had definitely become unmanageable, but I always had a choice. I just often made the wrong choice.
Ron
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
eMail: eqaddict@cfl.rr.com
Discussion Board Administrator
Everquest player from July, 1999 to April, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
Posted on: Sat, 04/26/2003 - 7:06am
Post by Xandtar
Posts: 3527
Joined: 2003-04-09
IP: 70.193.72.250
I've been powerless for years. I knew it.
I just didn't know how to stop it.
There were no 12 step groups and no one, and I mean NO ONE, believed the addiction was real, except those of us who were badly hooked some 20 years ago now.
I'm in, Liz. Thank you.
Edited by: Xandtar at: 11/19/06 14:16
Leveling in Real Life
Bruce,
When I started this organization, I was not getting grief from the gamers. They knew why I started it.
I got grief from people who never encountered the situation. Because it has not happened to them or someone they knew, they have no empathy for those who do have problems.
Welcome!
Liz
Liz Woolley
Posted on: Sun, 04/27/2003 - 3:55pm
Post by Aryianna
Posts: 248
Joined: 2002-10-21
[OLGA Member]
One day at a time is how we stop. Sometimes, it's smaller increments of time. Welcome to OLGA, Bruce.
Warm regards,
Aryianna
Posted on: Wed, 01/07/2004 - 3:15pm
Posted by erisalit32
Posts: 34
Joined: 2003-12-29
I did not have the will power to stop playing when I should. I played online RTS games not EQ. If my online rating dropped, I would become very frustrated and play a long time if necessary to bring it back up.
The gobs of time I spent on gaming made it very difficult to manage the rest of my life. I was just getting by, not achieving my full potential at anything. The game drew too much time away from family and friends and work. If it had continued, who knows how long I would have been able to keep getting by without reeking major havoc on my life. Thank God I never reached that point.
Posted on: Mon, 01/19/2004 - 5:46pm
Post by mna
Posts: 14
Joined: 2003-12-23
Step 1 for me is when I became self aware that I had purchased EQ again in December after quitting 2 years ago. I saw I was then (an angry, introverted, overweight liar) and how far I become since then and my denial finally went away. I am powerless when it comes to the MMOG. I am a perfectionist and was not satisfied unless I had the best gear, found the best exp group in the best hunting area for the level. When RL interfered with my gaming and I fell behind, I would resort to buying plat on ebay or playerauctions with real money. I felt that I was getting the deal by "Saving a lot of time". What a waste. I am so happy that I have finally started to tell the truth to myself and quit.
I know the hardest part for me was to stop gaming long enough to see how my life had deteriorated and then to realize that I had to make major changes or have serious health and/or mental problems.
The game was.... My....Precious.....
Ron
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
On-Line Gamers Anonymous
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
Powerless? I agree with Diggo
Now that I think about it, I made the wrong choice over and over again. There would be this typical choice, I could finish my homework, or I could play a game of Tribes, EQ, StarCraft, or whatever. There are always key moments. I really needed to study for that exam. I really needed to do some research for that report. I really needed to finish that assignment. What happened to me, was I would not finish the assignment, then I would be ashamed of myself. I would wallow in this shame and then not go to class the next session. The whole effect snowballed. If I was not caught up in my classes, my gaming would just destroy my grades with once well placed shot just below the waterline. One time, I needed to study for my math final. I was so far behind, I t hink I could have only getten a C if I had studied. There was that small chance. My roommate was trying to help me level up my character or get me some equipment or something. I cannot quite remember. It doesn't matter. Anyway, I stayed up all night raiding for something. The next day, I felt so bad. I just walked around the campus beating myself up for being so stupid. It was that pattern all the time. Especially when i was in the shower, I would plan out the rest of my day. I would tell myself, "Ok, this is what I am going to do. I'm going to do this and that, and not play any games." I would pray and pray to god for help. I would be all determined. Then when I was getting dressed, I would sit down at my computer and start up Solitaire and play solitaire for an hour, when I needed to be somewhere. A lot of the time, the only thing I would put on were my boxers. This happened over and over. I finally realized I was powerless at the end of last semester. I could have stopped playing my games and all that, but I let my grades fall away again. Maybe that wasn't it. Maybe talking about it here is when I am finally realizing how powerless I am to the game. It hurts to know that there is something that you cannot conquer alone. I like to be independent and self reliant. This whole thing has crippled my life oppurtunities. I am so lucky to have come across you guys to help me through this thing.
Yeah, sounds a lot like me.
It was so easy to just click that little 'shield' icon and pop into EQ and avoid those things I should have been doing.
But this was a pattern I had been doing all along in my life, it didn't just start when I started playing EQ. However, the nature of EQ allowed me to do it much more often and for longer periods of time. I would use EQ as a reward for doing things that day that I needed to...and then I justified my playing as a reward for things I started, but didn't finish. Then I said the hell with it, and just played it whenever I didn't want to do something. I was never powerless, but the priorities I had in my life were all screwed up.
To some degree, they still are for certain areas of my life, but even though I have been playing EQ again, those things I learned and worked on while I was away helped me understand where my priorities were and what they should be. It is cliche for me to say, "I can play now all I want and stop anytime I want to," but it's more than that really. I don't fear the game anymore. I don't fear that I will make the wrong decisions anymore or that I will lose control anymore.
I realize this seems to go against all traditional thoughts about addictions, particularly if you associate this online gaming thing with traditional chemical-based addictions, which is only partially accurate in my opinion.
Healing from this thing means a complete reframing of one's priorities and fixing what's broken in one's life. That can be a major undertaking which may or may not be successful. For me, thank goodness, it was successful.
I'll be happy to help anyone in any way that I can here.
Ron
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
On-Line Gamers Anonymous
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
Hello, new here... somehow came to this place first. I read this :
"There are always key moments. I really needed to study for that exam. I really needed to do some research for that report. I really needed to finish that assignment. What happened to me, was I would not finish the assignment, then I would be ashamed of myself. I would wallow in this shame and then not go to class the next session. The whole effect snowballed"
And my jaw dropped. I was so there.
Azzle ... I so much know how you feel. Its when you have no support and noone to talk to that these things happen. We are lef alone with our grief, shame and depression and have no outlet, so basically at every bright moment we plunge back into the darkness, because we see the light but dont know how to reach it.
I think I have been addicted since 2000 and it took me another 3 years of binges (though with quite normal life in between) to realize that I actually WAS addicted. Talk about unconscious behaviour and denial.
I am helpless and powerless and I cannot play any games at all. As soon as start to believe something else about games, its back to the small offroad trail, which in time leads to the road to hell.
It took basically my whole world blowing up to realize that this was a problem for me. It started with a neighbor that ended up being a friend who got me into UO. That evolved from UO into WoW. When I started playing I had a grip on it to a point and even played with my wife. Before I realized what was going on I was thoroughly hooked and obssesed. I have a history of addictive behavior and even met my wife in NA. I am no stranger to addiction at all. But it somehow just never clicked in my brain that I was in the thralls of a heavy addiction. "It's just a game" ok if it's just a game why am I neglecting my wife, my daughter, not maintaining gainful employment. And basically torn my life all to hell. My wife pleaded with me to get a grip and I said over and over I would. It took us seperating and for me to do a ton of research into this to realize that I have a serious addiction once again. I thank god for this wondererful for assuring me I am not the only one who has had a problem with gaming. I know now that I can never play another online game if I want any semblance of real life.
You are in the best position to apply the 12-Steps approach.
Lawthorn, as you say you have had other issues with addiction before.
This time, try honestly and with all the might and insight and love and intuition that you can, which I am sure is a lot, to get to the underlying issues of your problem.
You _need_ to understand what drives you into addictive behaviour.
I would suggest looking for a sponsor and doing a honest and complete inventory. I have just done it, and it has helped me immensely)
Faith
Maxim
"Live without dead time" Guy Debord
Step one took me about 13 years to get to. Gaming has ALWAYS been affecting my life negatively ever since I got my first NES. I never realized it nor did my parents. Gaming was a problem for me in elementary school, middle school, high school, and post graduation up until now. I've played so many hours totaled up of video games I don't even want to know the actual figure, but I'm sure it's up there in the year(s) figure. I could just never get enough of them. I always knew that I liked video games because it releives my stress no matter what game it is, it releives the pain inside. I grew up in a much lower class of society, and my parents have since then worked their way out of it, and I think that's the source cause of it. We had no money, which means I had to wear crappy clothes that didn't fit, which means I got made fun of in school because the other kids had nice clothes. I had no friends in school until High School, and even then it was still turmoil. ROTC was one of the few things I cared about outside of Runescape and Counterstrike during high school, I was really in to that and it brought out the leadership skills that I use today.
Unfortunately, three years out of high school, I have gotten absolutely nowhere in life. I've seen some stuff, gained some street cred, been a rapper for little while, sold drugs, all of this I did because I was depressed and didn't care. Was it a coincidence that I started all of this soon after my mother took away my computer? I don't think so.
It has all slightly benifited me in the long run though, I think, because now I can understand a little more about life. I have more practical skills, which I'll be using for the new web site. I learned about many great rap artists and discovered a passion I have(rapping). I learned so much about Tupac Shakur that I feel like I know him personally lol, I love that guy. May he rest in peace.
I don't know what I'd be doing right now, or for the rest of my life for that matter, if I hadn't have gone to google that day to try to find out if there was such a thing as a gaming addiction. Then I found this site and suddenly my life made sense to me. Everything started to make perfect sense, and I mean everything lol.
I don't think I'll have any short term issues with not gaming because I've done it before, but I can't even guess what my long term issues might be a few years down the road. I myself don't know anybody that has let games control their life for so long starting at such a young age. My dad told me that it all boils down to responsibility, and that's all it is in the first place. Allthough I partially disagree with him, some of what he says is right. I'm being irresponsible and just plain stupid if I start playing video games again now that I know I have this problem, and if there's one thing I never want to be, it's stupid lol.
In my life, I've done things that horrify me now for the sake of video games. Lost two fiances. Made myself homeless for weeks at a time. Stolen things. My first fiance was broke it off with me for another guy because I didn't pay enough attention to her, and I nearly strangled the other guy to death. I've dealt hard drugs, I've been shot at. I've been hospitalized before. Passed up so many different oppurtunities to succeed in life.
Where has all of this gotten me? To a completely different state. I'm from Oklahoma, last month I was in California, now I'm in Masachutets, and at the end of this month, I'll be in Pensylvenia. I need some stability now, I have to get to business now. I've experienced so many different things I don't even know who I am anymore, I don't know what is real and what isn't real anymore.
Oh, I'll definitely be breaking my CDs....and enjoying every moment of it.
_____________________________________
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it" --Voltaire
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
Counterstrike
over 4,000 hours played
Runescape
over 7,000 hours played
Edited by: GhostofCS at: 11/18/06 7:55
I've lived in oklahoma for a short while but maintain homestead in california. Hopefully your travels will be able to stop and you can solidify yourself somewhere!
____________________________________________
"This is the end...." The Doors
Looks like after I get everything together in PA then I'll come back to MA for business, there's like NO computer stores out here at all except for Geek Squad, and nobody here likes them cuz all they do is rip you off lol. Gotta get my business cards printed first though.
_________________________________________
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to say it" --Voltaire
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein
Counterstrike
over 4,000 hours played
Runescape
over 7,000 hours played
The first step, being powerless and my life having become unmanageable
came upon me instantly when playing EQ, when I started in 1999.
But I didn't realize it until 2006, when i hit my own bottom.
Being powerless to me is when I quit playing the game,
& the game started playing me.
My life had become unmanageable when Nothing else mattered...
Not anything at all, even my NA meetings, which,
when I realized it, made me very very scared,
that I would go back out using crack. To me, then,
that 'sounded' logical.
Today, the first step represents the realization
of the dangerous game I was playing
and the beginning of my recovery.
The first step is the one before the second step,
which I worked next, and so on, one at a time,
in order till twelve. Thanks Liz, for allowing me to practice
step twelve here at OLGA. Thanks to ALL those
who kept this place together until I needed it like nothing else.
LongJohn
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
Step one is that day you wake up and your back is hurting, you are tired, you are out of breath from a little bit of exercise. You look in the mirror and despise what you see. You really stop for a minute and realize how miserable you are and you decide you need to do something about. Then you realize you need help. That's what Step 1 is about.
Ron
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002
Wait till you've done step 1 a thousand times... and counting.
In fact all the steps, hundreds of times... it is still rough, it always will be,
But your wife is right there, and your kids are there and that makes it bearable...
and alright!
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
Hello to all of you as Im new here..
I never had much problems with on-line gaming but instead with chat-rooms and such stuff. I guess it's the same thing basically beacuse everything I read here applies to what I feel...I made my first step recently, when my wife went on a business trip alone, realizing that Im ruining my life and neglecting my wife. I hope that God will help me to develop from that and never neglect my wife or my family ever again. To end this first post of mine I will use something that some American soldiers used to say during WW2 "If God is with us who can then be against us?"
p.s English is not my mother tongue, but I hope you understand me:)
IP: 70.193.72.250
Welcome.
We do understand.
I hope what you read here has helped you, I wish I had a specific reference for a chat room addiction site, if one doesn't exist yet it is coming.
Step 2 is hard too, but if you've hit Step 1 like a wall at full run, its suddenly not that big a jump after all.
Good luck to you.
:|
____________________________________________
Leveling in Real Life
Leveling in Real Life
Thanks. No I dont know any chat-room addiction forum but I found this forum and it seemed like a nice place to hang around and read and maybe write from time to time. Like many of you I have tried to restrain myself from internet but in vain. I now understand that I cant do it alone and that I need help, from God and people around me. The interesting thing is that I like to play PC-games as well but as my computer cant handle those new big games demanding good PC-configuration I never played a lot and to be honest didnt feel I need to spend my money in buying faster and better PC. So thats what saved me. One more thing I realized is that both gaming and surfing the net hour after hour, day after day is just me trying not to deal with the real world. Today I feel a bit nervous but even that is better, that is a real feeling in real life, than that numb feeling that nothing matters that I get and love while sitting in front of my PC. Anyway thanks for welcoming me and I wish you all a nice "clean" day;)
Yep lack of power. I got no control over this addiction. It's been with me my whole life. It's even been my best friend/worst enemy. Non of this I relaized till a few days ago. This thing has got licked I don't know what else to say other than. Yes I have seen first hand experience on how this disease has taken control of my life in many different forms. Likewise with the pervious encounters it has made my life unmanageable.
Not sure if you guys got this out here, but to start this introduction off
My name is Daniel and I am Video Game addict/alcoholic.
To keep this real short and sweet.... I'm ****ed!, OnceA I start playing any video game I can't freakin stop no matter what I do. I have tried destroying the game complelty, getting rid of old game consoles, deleting all the the games off of my phone. And no matter what I end up playing these video games later on.
This is really a mind **** cuz I never realized untill just a few days ago I have been playing games, the same
way I used to drink. And well to be honest, if I drink I DIE, so if I game I DIE and I need some help cuz going back to playing isn't starting to sound to bad at all.
All I know is that if I continue to come to this site and see what other peeps have to say things should be alright.
Just so everyone knows, I have been playing games since I was about 6. Over the years up unitll now I was essentially as peeps in AA would call it. Dry.
I wanna give this thing a shot thoi, I got nothing else to lose
Anwayz, fallin alseep here, Talk to yea all later!
-Daniel
Powerless did not seem to be as big of hurdle; than being unmanageable in my life.
I took up gaming so it could fill the void of gambling and sports. I know that I was addict to gambling, so I stopped. I knew I couldn't continue and play seven sports a week, so I stopped.
Some of my life dreams were/are to have a house and raise a family. Gaming has almost taken away two of my biggest dreams.
When I was told that I needed to find a group and attend meetings; I wanted to know what I could replace my computer games with? Stopping the game playing has not been tough. Making choices, and having the opportunities to make choices seems to be the toughest. Before I could just go inside my cave and play through a crisis or everday living. Now I must stand up to everday life.
At 40 I would say it is about time, and it is not too late.
I apologize for jumping around, but I usually don't type this much in one sitting.
From a new member.
Jimi
Welcome Jimi,
it is never too late, all of us have voids to fill, every person in this world. Some of us are just a bit too "passionate" about filling the void.
ItA´s like seeing a hole in a blanket and darning it by cutting off a piece of the blanket, only to find out that we have patched one place but torn open another.
The fabric for repair has to come from some other place...
Love and Light
Max
I like to share this with everyone. An article I found. It's a bit of step 1 but coincides with step 4.
I once had a bad mmorpg gaming habit, just like you. I used to deny my situation, but once I accept the truth, my recovery was a smoother sailing. I will not say that recovery went as fast as a torpedo. It was still hard work but it was definitely easier because now I can focus my energy on taking a step to recover than creating this illusion of denial.
A lot of people are scared to face the real circumstances they are in because they think: 'even when they know the truth, they can't decide what to do about it'. Don't be afraid. We are human beings. We don't have all the answers to our problems immediately. Don't let your worry about how to handle your gaming addiction lead you to denial.
Face the truth of your addiction or bad gaming habit. Only later, after accepting you have this problem, you can spend your energy towards finding a step to recovery. It's OK to acknowledge your weakness and succumb to your games, for now. It's OK to say "I know this is wrong for me but I lack the strength and energy to change." You are in a much better spot, than being in denial.
Accepting the truth will help you decide which part of your life that you will need to spend most of your energy on. It will help you focus on the relationships that need to be mend, for example. It will help you prioritize and let some parts of your life slide away, for awhile. This will help you from being overwhelm during the recovery process.
As an example, when I had my addiction, I was a student. My grades was down the drain, I was so-so with my social life but I still had a good relationship with my family. Accepting the truth had lead me to clearly think that my grades needed the most attention and I didn't focus on rebuilding my friendships.
If you have two or multiple areas of life that are just down in the dump and couldn't get much worst than that, ask yourself which area is the most important to you? Or which area do you think you can change the most without much effort? Hope these two questions will help you.
I've gone astray from my main topic. Back to it... How do you recognize the truth? There are two steps. You can use either one or both.
1. Ask yourself, how do you feel about this particular area of your life. As an example, how do you feel about your relationship with your kids or your work? You can write a paragraph about how you feel or just think about it. The areas of life that I think seem to affect gamers are:
2. Or, ask someone else this question: What do you think of my (area of life)? For example you can ask your spouse, "What do you think of my relationship with you?" It will take some courage to ask but this method will get you straight to the matter. And I'm sure the person you asked will feel appreciated when you ask the question. Especially when they can sense you are genuinely hearing their opinions. After that, you can ask: "What would you do, if you were in my place?"
I hope this will help you in finding and accepting the truth of your gaming habit and the circumstances it brings.
~From spring website.
I apologize about quoting earlier material but it helps me to keep my mind focused on the task at hand.
Powerlessness
I'm probably still in denial over being powerless. If anything because I recently went and fully deleted WoW. I'm asking a friend to change the password on the account so I can't break down about it again. I still don't know what I'll do about the WoW discs. I'm sure I'll find something creative. However, I do admit that if it weren't for me caving to my parent's concern and a dear friend who is quitting herself, I would still be playing World of WarCraft and probably without any signs of stopping despite the fact that I know I've only gotten worse by doing all the raiding. Staying up until 1 a.m. in the morning or earlier over a game isn't good for anyone.
Unmanageability
Yes. I was an almost straight A student before I got addicted. I've neglected to even go see my parents, get a part-time job to fund my ability to drive or feed myself, and I quit caring about even studying for classes. Instead of working harder I began to slack even further. I eventually had a D in a class that directly relates to my major and began to waver despite being nearly finished with college. As it stands I'm now fighting to stay above a 3.0 GPA so I can at least maintain eligibility for scholarships and such. I've known that I let it take over. I just did nothing about it until recently. I guess, in my own way I'm coming into this with this part finished. I am addicted to online gaming and I need to just cut the cables and be free of it.
Welcome WoWarCrackAddict ...
If you admit to this, you arent in denial ;)
Stay around and keep us updated on your progress :)
Today I deleted all my WoW characters, canceled my subscription, un-installed the game and threw out the game disks.
I was originally thinking that it was only the MMORPGs that I needed to avoid, but I now I am not so sure. I suppose just avoiding all game types for now would be best.
I am powerless to WoW, and therefore powerless to controll my playing time with any MMORPG. I cannot play MMORPGs any more.
My feelings are all over the place.
I have been playing PC games for 8 years or so and I justified my gaming by stating "well I am not watching TV". For Eight years I have been somewhat sleep deprived and my work has suffered for it. It was not until I started playing WoW 13 months ago that my struggle to control my gaming time became an absolute lost cause. Where as before staying up too late meant going to bed by 12 -1 AM, suddenly a 1 AM bed time became an "early bed time" and staying up to late was after 3:00AM.
I knew that I had to get up for work at 6 the next morning, but I was out of control. I would still stay up to 1 - 4 AM.
The same magazine from which a year ago I receive my free 14 day trial demo of WoW, ran an article about MMORPGs and Addiction. I read the article, went to the various websites listed under "getting help" and now here I am.
Taking my first step.
I accept that I am powerless over MMORPGs. I cannot control my life when I am playing a MMORPG. I am powerless over MMORPGs.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
I choose to stay away from all games. Congrats on your decision to take back your life.
Lots of good help here when needed.
Today I deleted all my WoW characters, canceled my subscription, un-installed the game and threw out the game disks.
I was originally thinking that it was only the MMORPGs that I needed to avoid, but I now I am not so sure.A I suppose just avoiding all game types for now would be best.A
I am powerless to WoW, and therefore powerless to controll my playing time with any MMORPG.A I cannot play MMORPGs any more.
My feelings are all over the place.A
I have been playing PC games for 8 years or so and I justified my gaming by stating "well I am not watching TV".A For Eight years I have been somewhat sleep deprived and my work has suffered for it.A It was not until I started playing WoW 13 months ago that my struggle to control my gaming time became an absolute lost cause.A Where as before staying up too late meant going to bed by 12 -1 AM, suddenly a 1 AM bed time became an "early bed time" and staying up to late was after 3:00AM.
I knew that I had to get up for work at 6 the next morning, but I was out of control.A I would still stay up to 1 - 4 AM.A
The same magazine from which a year ago I receive my free 14 day trial demo of WoW, ran an article about MMORPGs and Addiction.A I read the article, went to the various websites listed under "getting help" and now here I am.
Taking my first step.
I accept that I am powerless over MMORPGs.A I cannot control my life when I am playing a MMORPG.A I am powerless over MMORPGs.
We are so proud of you. Welcome to OLGA, my friend.
Please keep visiting here often.
Maybe start a thread on the Progress Report subforum to keep us updated on your progress?
Love, Solei
-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-
I am powerless.
But, this is not to say that I'm beyond this step. I have to make myself quit. I have to do it the hard way, with the game dangling in front of my face and then turning my head and going... NOPE! I'm going to go outside for a few hours. Just walk around... enjoy the little blue planet in the comsmos called Earth.
I just stopped playing literally hours ago and now I cannot stop reading this site. I'm so glad somebody went out of their way to help others with this mindset, this terrible position and this terrible thought process. I want to be done with it! World of Warcraft is a ADDICTING game. It's difficult to stop playing because there's so much to do and it takes so much time to accomplish.
I work Tuesday through Saturday from 0500 to 1330 PST and my normal bedtime consists of usually 0200 or 1400 after I get off work, then wake up at 2200 and play until the next work day. Weekends? I'm easily at the computer 20 hours a day, even on my Sunday when I know I have to get up a few hours later and go to work. Why do I torture myself like this? NO! NO MORE! I'm fed up and angry at myself for letting this mind addiction take control of me. I wish I could rip it out of my brain, throw it on the porch and beat the living crap out of it blaming it for all the pain it has brought me. But that would be futile... I might as well beat myself up, because I let this happen to myself. Nobody else did this to me, but me. I'm ashamed.
I have to stop.
I'm so glad this site is here. Please let me continue to rant...
Thank you.
Morrik wrote:
One thing that I have found that contributed to my addiction problems is the anger and guilt that I felt regarding my gaming activities. That, however, caused me to want to play even more as a form of escape, thus forming an escalating pattern. You have to break the chain. One of the first steps is to not only admit that you are powerless, but also to stop blaming yourself. Having a gaming addiction does not mean that you are weak, bad or anything else like that. It just means that you are like many people, including myself, who are human and, thus, not perfect. Although I still have more work to do on it, I have found that by not blaming myself, I have less desire to play video games. It is only one part, but an important one, in my recovery and I believe that it will help you too.
- John O.
[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)
J. D'Oe wrote:
Much appreciated and I'm trying... My first action is trying to get some of my old hobbies back. Hobbies that did not involve gaming of any kind.
I think that im one of the most addicted person to wow but its getting better today i played for 1 hour and it was the first time that i have played in about 5 days lately my girlfriend has been helping my with my addiction by coming over and watching movies and such but before the bc came out i had over 200 days played on my ne hunter and i was hardcore into raiding and when i got to 70 about 3 months ago the same **** happend but as long as i got my girlfriend i should be fine but im just glad theres a place where i can talk to people with the same problem as me
Thank you everyone
WoWaddict4tolong wrote:
Congrats on playing less.
I had to be careful to not attach my success to a person such as my wife. If she left me or makes me mad, would I just go back to playing? I know that I can not play at all, and that I am strong and more stronger when I trust in my higher power.
Keep up the hard work, because I have noticed that is the only way it seems to work.
I, like many others, had a problem with limiting myself to casual gaming (powerlessness). Even on school nights, or nights where I TOLD myself, "Ok, you have to go to bed early enough tonight to get about 7 hours sleep for work, and wake up at this time," I wouldn't do it it. By the hour of bedtime rolls around, I'd just tell myself that there was always the next day that I could do my work, and that just tonight I would game. I couldn't stop myself, it's this endless cycle of staying up later and later each night, until today, the breaking point, I haven't even gone to bed.
That leads to my unmanageability. It got to the point where I just stopped doing things that I NEEDED to do or that I KNEW should take priority: homework, friends, family, job, health, happiness, confidence. I just let all those slide because I always justified my gaming. I said, "I have time" but eventually that time ran out, and so things like homework, work, and time with people got shafted for gaming.
I've felt a lot of guilt and anger towards myself fo rletting it get this far. I really want to... and need to forgive myself, and buck up and own up to how I screwed up my life. Heeeere I go....
Does this mean you're going to quit, Flutegirl? Or that you have?
We would be thrilled of course, I just can't tell from your posts if you've made that hard choice...
but no pressure, you have to want to, for yourself.
If you do, and you need help, we'll be here.
In the meantime, please stay we appreciate your comments.
:|
Leveling in Real Life
I'm in the process of quitting.
It's been a whole.. erm.. 12 hours?
I think I'm having trouble right now if it's going to be "cold turkey" or "gradual"
But it is my intent to quit :)
For good ;D
For an alkie,
gradually quitting is like only going to the bar once per day.
its not quitting.
Mind you, for some people that's enough. But you've just admitted you can't control it in a limited way.
That's why I recommend quitting cold turkey for 30 days, then reassess your situation.
But do it for you, not because I or anyone else suggests it.
Good luck to you.
:|
Leveling in Real Life
I think I may take you upon your suggestion. One week is too short, but a month is long enough to know and to get an idea of where I'll be going and to try things out. Also, if I know I can make it a month, I know I can make it another month, and then another month after that!
I guess today was day 1 of 30 :)
Day by day 8)
Aryianna wrote:
I have to strongly, but respectfully disagree with these statements. After all Tradition 3 tells us:
The only requirement for OLGA/OLG-Anon membership is a desire to stop compulsive on-line game playing.
Some of us may come here with a desire, but may not yet have admitted to ourselves that we truly have a problem. In order to recover, it is important that we take this step, but many of us don't walk in the door truly thinking we have a problem. Some even have to go out a few times to test it before we finally throw up our hands and say, "that's it!"
After all, the first 12-step program I walked into, I thought "well MAYBE I have a problem." Before long I got to make up my own mind. If someone had told me then that I had to admit I had a problem in order to belong to the group, I would have been out of there like a shot.
Just my two cents.
Very true.
When I attented GA way back when, I was in the same position. I thought I had a problem but I really did not know until 4 or 5 meetings later. If someone said I had to accept something before becoming a memeber, or feeling a part of the group, meeting two might of been hard to attend.
Step 1:
I am powerless to the need to escape from reality. The only child of an alcoholic, drug addicted, abusive step father and co-dependent alcoholic mother, my very 'survivial' in life as a child depended on being able to imagine what living in a 'normal' family was like. My well adjusted but shy 'character' is what was portrayed to family, friends and outsiders always.
I am a grown woman now, I have 2 management degrees, own my own home, have zero debt (except for mortagage and school loan) with a loving supportive boyfriend and a great job. I need to stop 'pretending' what life is about and face up the reality of my real life 'character' rather than hide behind the ones I create while roleplaying and playing WoW.
Welcome Magic. The bitter reality that I had to learn is:
Management Degrees do not protect from addictive tendencies ;) ;D
Stay around and get heathy...
shiva wrote:
Thank you for your comments. I think having a management degree actually made me more addicted as I severaly enjoyed the team aspects of WoW dungeons and guilds. >.<. That has been the hardest part to let go.
You are right Laura, I would have bolted that first meeting if they tried to force me to admit I was just as sick as my husband. When a newcomer enters a meeting, we shift to the first 3 steps and mention what first brought us to the rooms. We also mention how long it took us to actually admit our powerlessness. It simply takes what it takes for each of us.
We also have to consider the trolls. The "Why are we here?" from NA puts that into perspective. I have had to request that visitors that come in the rooms "preaching" their beliefs try to share their experience, strength and hope from their own experiences--"I" messages. I encourage others, especially co-dependents like me, to avoid using "ought to", "need to" or "should" when sharing. Reduce the "you" and increase the "When I".
D