My husband plays video games from the time he gets off of work from the time her goes to sleep usually 2 am- ish on weekdays longer on weekdays sometimes there is an hr or so break i feel almost completely abandoned and heart broken am i not enough? am i to boring? More importantly are oyr kids not enough? Our son 5 yrs old already asks why daddy doesnt spebd time with him and gets sad. What am i to do about? I have spoken to him calmly i have yelled i have cried i cant get through to him. He is from New York and says thats the only way he can " hangout" wirh his friends but why does " hanging out" with friends need to be an everyday 5-6 hour on the weekdays 12-14 hours on the weekend thing? How is that ok to him? Is there any hope if he is adamant that he doesbt have a problem i love him but im close to the end of my rope i wabt him to be a good dad and i want to feel like i am important to him that we dont come second to his online world what do i do to get through to him?
Theunimportantwife
Welcome Startini
Our welcome advise for spouses is here: http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others-open-forum/help-my-spousesignificant-other-addicted
It's heartbreaking that he is neglecting you and your kids. You share this with many others who come to the spouse forums.
If he is an addict, the first thing you need to do is abandon any expectations you have that he can behave in a reasonable way. His brain has been hijacked by the gaming abuse. Nothing can give him the dopamine fix he craves, except gaming. And is possible he does not compute how his actions affect you.
It is hard to make them see sense. There is a thread here ( see below) that may help you consider what you can do to communicate with him in the best way possible. But it may not be possible in which case you need to learn to "detach with love", set and keep boundaries around his behaviour, and learn about and stop the ways in which you enable him. There are links to threads in the first post of the thread below for all those things you can do.
http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/interventions-and-communication-sos
Keep coming back to read the stories of other spouses.
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