Help, please

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Last seen: 2 years 5 months ago
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Help, please

My partner of 10 years, married for 7, has developed a gaming problem (it's been about 2 years). I feel like every time I look at him he is on his phone. He doesn't make eye contact with me when I speak to him and I feel like he doesn't listen to me or care about what I am saying. We have 3 beautiful little girls together. If we were just dating I think I would have already left him. But I made a commitment, and I meant it. He has cleared out our savings, spends about a grand a month that we don't have on his game. I had to shorten our family vacation because he spent so much of our savings. I've taken all the credit cards away from him. I've tried yelling, I've tried being supportive, I've tried everything I can think of short of taking the girls and leaving him for a while. Before I removed him from our credit cards he racked up at least 11,000 in debt because of his game ( I didn't always keep track so it is probably more than that). He is on medication. He just made a psychologist appointment and I would like to address his addiction and maybe medication alterations. We are unable to save for a house. We are unable to assist with bills (we live with my father-in-law) and I feel like at this point it is because of his game. He makes decent money now after his last raise and instead of being able to move forward I am struggling to stay afloat. Our credit score has tanked bc of the credit card debt. We have no savings left, no available credit left this month. This is the lowest we have been. And I am scared that he will continue to overdraw his account, which leads to outrageous bank fees, and then I am afraid there won't be enough money left to provide for our children. When I think of that, my chest gets tight and it becomes hard to breath. I just don't know what else to do. I don't care if he plays his game sometimes, I care when it becomes such a money sucker that I worry about providing for my kids and I care when I feel like his life is passing him by. He misses so much. Any suggestions? Thanks

Polga's picture
Last seen: 20 hours 16 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome vblackburn

Welcome vblackburn

Thanks for sharing your story; you are not alone.

You cannot cure his addiction but you can stop enabling it and set boundaries for you to remain in the relationship. Click the link for spouses in my signature below and it will show you some of the most helpful information and experience shared by others that will help you; if you take time to read it carefully. Keep coming back!

let us know what changes you make and changes you notice. Thanks


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