Step 1, Thread 5. We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

I do admit that I am powerless over my chess game

How my live has become unmanageable! 

Not doing house work

not being focused on my work

not being there for my family (son and granddaughter) when they say I am not listening to them. Which it's true..I am always thinking about my next move. 

playing every second, while waiting for appointments, staying late at work "saying I am working late" going on Sunday's not 100% work related. 

Neglecting my love, neglecting my animals

smoking and gaming Is like cocaine and alcohol

Honesty & Acceptance 

being honest with myself... I want to be my best with my family... I've messed up 29 years ago with alcohol and drugs... I can be focused, loveable and funny. I can be here and now... Like I used to be

acceptance of facing my fear and  abstain from neglecting my duties and a soulful human being!

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I surrender to the harsh reality of me being an addict and I admit that something is wrong.

I use gaming to avoid pain
I cannot cope with intense emotions healthily and instead escape into a fantasy world
I cannot healthily cope with real life and all it throws at me
My denial--me thinking that I’m in control--has kept me from realizing how powerless I am and how unmanageable my life became
I admit that my life has been severely disturbed by video games
I accept that I am helpless before the power of gaming
I admit that I need help and cannot do it on my own
I accept the fact that I cannot game like other people
I accept the fact that I must stop gaming (phew that’s the hardest statement I had to make)

POWERLESSNES

I am not able to control my gaming sessions
I have no power to put limitations on how much time I am playing
I play games on and on, even though I don’t want to. I want to stop but can’t
I don’t have the willpower to stop playing

UNMANAGIBILITY

I my life and my time becomes unmanageable when I start gaming
I neglect all the areas (SOCIAL, MUSIC, SELF GROWTH) that are important to me.
I neglect all high vibration responsibilities and only do the bare minimum of what’s required of me

To move to the next step I declare that:

HONESTY: I am honest about my addiction. I admit that I am addict and that I have a problem
OPEN MINDEDNESS: I am open minded about trying new things, meeting people who are also struggling, and get outside of my comfort zone
WILLINGNESS: I am ready to end this addiction

hi

Admito que uso la computadora para esconder el dolor

Que vivo en un mundo de fantasias

No ppuedo afrontar la vida real

La negacion no me deja ver como mi vida perdio manejo y poder.

Tengo que admitir que mi vida esta perturbada

Tengo que admitir que estoy indefenso ante el poder que causan los juegos y las redes sociales

Hay que admitir el pequeno factor de que no puedo jugar y usar redes sociales como las otras personas

Y me tengo que rendir al inevitable factor de que tengo que dejar la computadora

Im powerless becouse i cant control the time im in the pc

Im powerless becouse i dont want to play games or see videos and i cannot stop

Im powerless becouse im cant stop when i want it

Im ummanegeable because i cant study normaly because of my adiccion

Im unmanegeable because in my real life im dont have friends and y dont have any job

Im admit that my life is out of control, and im and addict

the solucion is: honestidad, mente abierta y complacencia

thanks a lot! one step complet

I'm self employed, so not only does the game cost me money up front, it also costs me big time in lost productivity.  

I admit that I'm powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable because of my game addiction. I usually start playing late at night and go on up until 3 or 4 in the morning. This has cost me, above all, lots of time that I could have spent with my family and friends. I often find myself thinking that I can control how long I would keep playing but in fact this denial keep me from seeing how powerless and unmanageable my life has become. I accept that I'm helpless before the power of gaming, that I cannot game like other people and that I must make surrender to the inevitable fact that I must stop gaming. I've neglected my studies, my family and friends too long and I'm wiling to sacrifice gaming to slowly but firmly take this all back.

I've been involved with mmo fantasy games since they were text based.  I've quit for years at a time, but I keep getting sucked back in, most recently by a phone game called Celtic Heroes. It starts off casually, then it takes over your life and you're neglecting everything to play a stupid game. I know I can't play casually and have to just stop. I haven't deleted my characters yet, but know it's what I need to do. 

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

I do admit that I am powerless over my addiction to spending and this video game

How my live has become unmanageable! 

Not doing house work

not being focused on my work

not being there for my family (son and granddaughter) when they say I am not listening to them. Which it's true..I am always thinking about my next move. 

playing every second, while waiting for appointments, staying late at work "saying I am working late" going on Sunday's not 100% work related. 

Neglecting my love, neglecting my animals

smoking and gaming Is like cocaine and alcohol

Honesty & Acceptance 

being honest with myself... I want to be my best with my family...I have messed up and i realized this.

acceptance of facing my fear and  abstain from neglecting my duties and a soulful human being!

i am addicted to online slot machines, and Im so ashamed to admit this,but I am going to face this addiction with prayers and a willingness to stop. My addiction has put us into bankrupcy. I have hidden my addiction from my husband and family. Whether I can ever admit this to my husband I dont know..I am just now admitting my addiction to myself after finding this forum.

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I have used gaming to avoid fear, vulnerability, and intimacy.

I have used it so I could escape from being social.  It has prevented me from meeting people, from developing relationships, from experiencing new things.

I accept that I cannot game like other people.

POWERLESSNES

I have repeatedly failed in controlling and limiting the time I’ve spent on the gaming.  “One more quest”.  “2 hours a day”. 

I tried hiding games from myself for a few weeks to slow down.  “Out of sight, out of mind, I thought”.  Just a few days later I went straight back to it.

I tried getting rid of my console.  I left my PS3 and all the games by a dumpster.  I thought I was done.  But the gaming continued.  I started gaming on my PC.

I have spent over 1,000 hours in Civilization 5, over 500  hours in Oblivion.  There was no reason for me to play the games that much, I had experienced the full game much sooner than that.  Re-playing games when the luster was gone.

Seeking out gamers/streamers online, games that I would want to play.  Watching them for hours.  “One more episode”, “30 more minutes”.  Going right back to them when I have any sort of free time

Having roommates and sneaking into the living rooms late at night so I could isolate and enjoy the games by myself, and not worry about judgment from them.

UNMANAGIBILITY

I have missed out on connections with family and friends.  I’ve told my brothers and Mom that I was “sick” so I could indulge in more gaming by myself.

I have missed work due to wanting an entire day to my self to game.

I have deprived myself of sleep due to gaming, sometimes flip-flopping my sleep schedule to where I was waking up around 1-2 p.m. and playing until 6-7 a.m.  When I was bingeing on Oblivion, I remember experiencing redness and a sharp pain in one of my eyes.  I believe it was due to the continuous staring at the screen.

I lost my ex-girlfriend.  Not directly related to gaming, but I used it as a coping mechanism when we broke up and binged a lot.  Within a few days of breaking up I was gaming.

Either prolonged gaming or frustration from gaming has led to me acting out sexually, often to porn and masturbation.  The immediate gratification of gaming has led to an unrealistic aspect of it in other parts of life.  I lack patience.

BOUNDARIES

No gaming.  No Steam.  No Civ 6, no Banished.

No watching gamers.  Be conscious when going to Youtube or accessing the internet.

No internet past 10 p.m.

Plan my off days and weekends.  I need to connect with people.

That is a nice one Dwalk77.

You sound exactly like how I was not so long ago. Exactly. I was so out of control back then, it felt horrible, I felt desperate back then. But over time, slowly I was getting control back, step by step. Thank you for sharing this. 

I use gaming to avoid my pain, my feeling of helplessness, my feeling of being lost in this world, the feeling of having no meaning.

I was in denial that I could "control" it, or that I could be a "functional" addict

It affected my work performance, my relationships, my ability to do the "basics" of life.

I am helpless and need help. I can't do this by myself.

I can't game "just a little bit" like others.

I have to stop.

My "poison" the last few years has been iphone games. I'd constantly play, uninstall, swear off, then re-install games. You can never "beat" the games, or feel any sense of completion or satisfaction. I'd literally feel so terrible while playing, but at the same time it was such a physically manifesting high. I thought i could play 5 minutes every hour just to "manage" my feelings and life, but that became more and more. Rinse and repeat the cycle over and over. I thought I had it solved by having my fiancee have a restriction code on the App Store, but I would lie and manipulate to get her to unlock it, and then secretly install a game when she wasn't looking. I accept that I can't "self-control" this away.

When I don't have the games available, I reach into other things that make my life unmangeable just as much - obsessive compulsive behavior around politics, eating junk food, porn, etc. But I always come back to the games. I've used it to "manage" my emotions since I was 12, and I'm now 35. Enough is enough.

Justin

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I can't help myself when I play. I get sucked into it, whether that means I spend money without thinking of consequences, ignore everything going on around me when I'm playing, or some mix of those two. Like many others, I normally start playing late at night and finally stop when its 4 AM. I know I'm different when playing socially, but I don't want my relationship with games to be the awful coping mechanism it has become. There are times I go a while without playing at night, but if anything stressful happens, I can go on a spiral that goes on for a few days. It led to me dropping out of college.

I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I admit that as far back as I can remember, even in the early years of my childhood, I have been addicted to video games.

I admit that I am powerless to control my addiction. Sometimes I think I am able to control it. I can take days, weeks, sometimes even months off, or manage to limit my time, but I am in denial.

I admit that I do not presently have the strength to battle this addiction alone, and that I will never have the strength to battle this addiction alone.

My marriage of 6.5 years, relationship of 8, where I took on a wonderful woman and two small children, who were abandoned for a while by their father, who had physically and verbally abused the woman who would become my wife and these amazing children.

I tried to hide my pain over my own abusive childhood with video games, and I tried to hide my addiction from her as long as I could. I was coping with the loss of my first serious relationship, a girl who loved me, but I never really loved back. She got pregnant a few months before we broke up. My gaming addiction pushed her away, anx when she forced me to turn it off, I abused her for it, verbally and physically. Less than 2 weeks after the breakup, my dad, my main abuser, died, suddenly. I was lost, wallowing in pain. Drinking helped a little, drugs helped a little, but nothing helped as much as gaming.

My wife tried to help me through these difficult times...

She gave me love. She gave me respect. She gave me understanding. She told herself that the games was a phase as I healed. And we would fight. And I'd get better for a time. Then I would fall back. And the cycle of violence and abuse would begin all over again. I would blame what I did on her, and twist it until we both believed it and she forgave me.

This went on for years. It was only her. Even when she was pregnant with our son, I abused her physically, verbally, and emotionally. When he was born it got better for a while. But as time went on it fell back into the cycle.

I started abusing our children. Physically, verbally, emotionally. I intimidated and manipulated them into letting me do what I wanted, to game. To leave me alone to game. My wife had 3 surgeries during our relationship. C-Section with our son, Breast Implants after she was done breast feeding to help her confidence and I now realize to hopefully entice me away from the computers and consoles, and removal of Endometriosis. And I was too busy gaming to take care of the house or the children.

I got in an argument with my 14 year old stepson and physically forced him to his room. And when he left I tried again, but he fought me, we fell, and I crashed into and put a hole in the wall.

I told my now 12 year old stepson that his opinion didn't matter so many times that he actually believed it. He believed it was worthless and felt suicidal.

Through my actions I taught my now 6 year old son that the only way to spend time with dad is to play games with him, but be sure not to want to play a different game or do something other than what dad wants to do.

I destroyed 4 beautiful people and countless beautiful friendships over 8 years due to my addiction, and another one before that.

I don't think I'm truly a bad person. But I made many bad choices to protect and further my addiction.

I am an addict. I have a problem. And I am powerless against it.

Welcome GOMTP, glad you found us here.  My sponsor always told me, We're not bad people trying to get good, we're sick people needing to get well.  I made many horrible choices when I was in active addiction.  They affected my family and caused pain and regret.  It's so good to be free of that insanity.  Sometimes some of my choices are still poorly made, but mostly my life is vastly improved.  I'd be glad to talk some time.

Hi - I hope to find some support here as my second marriage begins to break apart for the same reasons as the first- my need to game excessively and to dedicate all my free time to it. I am a 36 year old man. I have one son from my first marriage who I see every weekend. 

I admit i am powerless to stop this- again and again I fall into the cycle. 

My habit is unmanagible, out of control and crazy. I am scared of my brain. If i go cold turkey after two weeks or so I start to feel so irritable and I wont admit it but my subconscious pushes me to do anything to break up/ make any excuse to find a place to play non stop. Blizzard;s hearthstone is my drug of choice and I cannot abandon it- no matter what i try! 

I am willing and openminded to try to stop. 

I have a serious gaming problem. It affects my life and those around me. Now to tell you a bit about myself. My name is Bryce, and I have been a serious gamer for over 20 years. I started when i was 6, I played games with my dad and enjoyed spending time with him. I would watch him play games and it excited me greatly. Some of my fondest memories stem from those beautiful days. I got my first gameboy when I was 8, I had a sega, a dreamcast, playstation1-4, xbox-xbox one, nintendo, psp, and eventually a pc. I was entranced by gaming, it brought out my happy, it made me feel good. My childhood was a shaky one at best, I've nearly had as many dads as i do fingers, and we we're moving house nearly every year. Gaming was my only consistency in my life, so i held on, and held on hard. It consumed me in a way, but i was ok with it. I was in highschool, not doing terribly but also not doing well. I spent all of my free time playing games like call of duty or world of warcraft. I would stay up countless nights, sometimes until daybreak, only for my mom to come in and "wake me up" after i pretended for 10 minutes to be asleep. I would sleep in classes, on the bus, anywhere i couldn't game. after barely passing highschool (somehow), I went into college. I was in college for over 4 years, failing many of my classes and passing a few. out of 4 years of full units, i got an associates degree. that should only take 2 years of casual classes. Again i was too busy committing all of my time to gaming, this time it was League of Legends. I eventually dropped out and binged on my addiction for the next couple of years, doing nothing but game. My social circle was only filled with other gamers, and they had to play the same games as me or i wouldn't associate with them. eventually I met my wife in a session of my addiction. She has been nothing but good for me, she's been supportive and understanding, trying to get me to see the addiction that i was so enveloped in. It took her 3 long hard years to finally get me tosee it for what it is, and to make matters worse, she's halfway through my first child's pregnancy. I work, then i game. I avoid interactions in real life if it would take away from my screen time. I would avoid going to bed with my wife so i could stay up and feed my addiction in peace. I would get home from work and immediately open my computer to squeeze in any game time i could before my wife got home. I was systematically ruining our relationship with my addiction, and to top it off I would even defend my actions. I would blame my wife, blame circumstances, blame ignorance, blame anything other than the addiction itself. My greatest failure by far to my wife and to myself is the fact that I have let this go as long as it has. There are things that can't be undone, lies that have been told that can't be untold, deceit that has found its way through the cracks of my relationship, however that doesn't spell the end for me, I know i can come back from this, i know that I'm stronger than this, and I know I can overcome this. I look back to when my wife found out she was pregnant, a mere 13 weeks ago or so. She came out of the bathroom, bubbling with excitement, reeling in emotion and desperately wanting to share the experience with me. I couldn't even give her my undivided attention for longer than a fee moments, because guess what? I was in a League of Legends game. I didn't want to get banned for afking in a game, so I played the rest of it out before rejoicing with her. If that doesn't scream addiction I don't know what addiction is. I have a problem, I am powerless against gaming. I cannot, at this stage, be a social gamer. I will be honest with myself and with my wife. I owe it to myself and my family, I will succeed in overcoming this addiction.

The simple truth is that games are my escape.

I am powerless over my online gaming addiction, and certainly at times my life has become unmanagable.  I had a recent relapse after a fight with my spouse, and I tail spun badly spending about $500 in online game purchases in 4 days.  I didn't want to tell my wife. I was so ashamed.  I am not unfamiliar with 12 step programs to aid recovery from alcohol abuse, overcome codependency as a spouse of someone with alcohol abuse problems, or as an Adult Child of two Alcoholics.  Over the past few years I had a couple of relapses into online game spending, but seemed to get back on track as far as living in recovery was concerned.  This time however was different, and was a wake up call that I need to get back to basics regarding my living in recovery.  I need to restore some managability in my life, and so I searched for and found this community.

I am at step one, admitting my powerlessness in the face of my addictions. AA Al-anon, and ACOA issues have long ago been resolved through years and years of therapy, and yet this online gaming spending has grabbed me by the throat and reminded me how easy it is to fall.  So today I reach out to again begin walking the road of recovery.

I have a gaming addiction. Specifically to hyper heroes. Ive quit once before the birth of my second son -because my wife gave me an ultimatum. And I quit for 7 months. But I started again by happenstance a month after my 2nd son was born- playing secretly from my wife. I thought I would play casually, and that it wouldn’t make me addicted again. I was happy to see old friends in game, and I played harder. And did well in the game, slowly catching up to my friends, bypassing those who I deemed couldn’t play as well as me.

My denial of my addiction and my ability to play in secret while my wife focused on our second son kept me from seeing how powerless I was over gaming and how unmanageable my life had become. I woke up early in the morning to play and my life became focused around it. I resolved to play less and not play at odd hours of the night, and pulled back a little, but still retained my addiction. Until I was caught by my wife. 4 times in the last couple months. My wife has lost all trust and respect for me as time and time again I’ve promised I would quit. I need help and realize I am powerless to control myself just because I say I will, as well as hold to my promises. My addiction has made my relationship with my family unmanageable. And I need to help myself regain control over my family life because I have surrendered to the inevitable fact that I need to stop. And be a better husband if she will still let me, and a better father to my sons.

I want to recover. And I surrender by admitting that there is something wrong and I have lost control. 

I open myself to the wisdom of the fellowship and the solution offered by the program, and am willing to take steps to recover.

Welcome B, glad you found us here.  Your story sounds similar to mine and the effects gaming was having on me and my family.

Quote:

I want to recover. And I surrender by admitting that there is something wrong and I have lost control.  I open myself to the wisdom of the fellowship and the solution offered by the program, and am willing to take steps to recover.

Sounds like you have accepted the situation and are focusing on the solution.  Congrats on your new path in life!  I highly recommend listening in on several of the voice meetings held every day at 10:30am and 7pm PDT.  You're not alone!

Hi, my name is Mark. I have been a gamer since I was a kid, I am 44 now. I always thought I was under control with my gaming, I was wrong. I met my wife when I was 34, never married before. She has managed to get my gaming down from nights and all weekend. I thought I was good until the birth of our second child and her 19 day stay in the NICU. She was given a clean bill of health, but soon after she was released, I found Star Trek Fleet Command. I played like a normal person at first. Then I discovered the packs you buy to speed the game along. First the $5 packs, which opened the $20 packs, which opened the $50 packs which finally opened the $99 packs. By then, I was spending money like I never had in a game before. I kept it from my wife, even lied to her, which I had never done before. A game. A game made me lie to the mother of my children. I thought I was fine with it until I saw I had put $5,200 in “gaming” on new credit card we had obtained to put our kid’s daycare on. I realize I have spent almost $10,000 in total in “gaming”. That is not where I want to be.

I am here because I can’t do this alone. I have damaged my relationship with my wife and my financial future for a game. I am an addict and I have a problem. That much is clear. I am still processing what I have done. I have deleted the games off my phone and canceled my WOW subscription. Thanks for reading my story.

Welcome Mark. Glad you found us here. I too spent thousands in-game, hurting my family, finances, and self-esteem. I tried to get it under control, but kept breaking limits, bingeing, relapsing. I wasn't able to get my life under control under I stopped gaming completely, taking it one day at a time with the support of other people doing the same.

I highly recommend checking out the daily voice meetings on Mumble at 1:30 and 10pm EDT. It's fine to just listen, nothing is required of you. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

Congrats on making the admission of Step One! Keep it up

Hello everyone, my name is Christopher. I have been a gamer since let's see (it has been so long I cannot recall right off the bat... lol) I was 5 years old so 25 years ago, 1994. As I type this, I am speechless and cannot believe it has been a quarter of a century I am gaming, surely there is a mistake but no, there is none, this is the truth and it really feels like a huge slap to the face. I need to take a few seconds to get over it, wow... 

Okay, so, I am 30 years old now and I am here because I have a problem : I am addicted to gaming. 

Until last night, I played World of Warcraft for almost a year. I loved being a ''hero'', helping people, exploring new worlds, fighting dragons and other monsters, I played 648 hours and did 3723 quests. To some extent, I really was a hero and I love this game, at this point, I should rather say I adore it but there is one thing : I wish I was a hero in the real world. Not in a virtual one, a hero for the people that love me and care for me. 

I have not talked to my mother in 2 months and I know she is hurt by this but I am addicted to World of Warcraft so I keep playing and playing. I work, thank God but every free minute I have, I crave for this escape fantasy and I have come to believe my reason for living is being a paladin in WoW. It makes me want to cry and fall into depression that I think this but so far, I have resisted the urge and keep control of what is left of my life. 

I apologize if I go from one subject to the other and the text is slightly incoherent, I have trouble expressing myself as I am extremely introverted but I realized today I have a problem and am using alcohol to try and force the feelings out of me. It is working somehow but I have trouble organizing my thoughts, sorry about that! :p 

I spent the last 4 years living in isolation and not seeing anyone except for my family sometimes and people at work. All this time, all I did was gaming and watching porn. It is as clear as rose water that I am addicted to these two addictions so I went ahead and moved back to my father house. Together, we are slowly but surely getting me out of my isolation and tonight, I am starting this new path toward rewiring myself and freeing me from these demons that have been plaguing my existence since I was a little boy. 

I really needed to tell all that to someone but I'm moving away from the subject of this thread so here goes: 

Powerlessness - 

I am powerless towards my gaming addiction. If it was not from needing money to pay rent and food and all necessities, I would play video games 24/7 except when sleeping. It is good that I am a big sleeper, I love sleeping. I guess it is one of the moment I feel like I am free from my demons, a moment of relaxation, a vacation from powerlessness and depression? Some people asked me if I am depressed, I do not know, it has been so long since I am alone that I tell myself I am happy and all is well but it could pretty much be a coping mechanism in order to survive all these years without human touch. I have been single for 18 years and have not hugged or kissed a girl since I was 12 years old (that was in 2000). Nothing in 20 years. I could understand I feed myself stories that all is perfect in my little dream world and I am oh so wonderful for saving the world of Azeroth in WoW but I am just escaping reality, I fear. 

Unmanageability - 

Every time I try to manage my time playing video games, it turns to failure. Except when I have to go to work. That is the exception to the rule. The reason is I lost many jobs as a young adult due to excessive gaming and even lived in the street for one month, I felt miserable and contemplated suicide. It left a mark on me that will never? dissepears and so I am never late to work but that aside, I dropped out of school 9 times due to gaming. I am not seeing my family as much as I should due to gaming. I have been single for 18 years due to gaming. I have no friends or only two but I haven't seen them in 2 years. I want to start projects, go to the movie theater, learn bass and guitar, do so many things but no, I cannot manage my time so all I do is I wake up, I rush everything that is not gaming-related and I log on World of Warcraft so I can resume my ''perfect'' world. Some days, I wake up and log onto the game as soon as I am up. I don't eat or drink before 3-4 hours or until my head hurts. As I re-read this, I am terrified at the realization that is has been my life for so long and it felt perfectly normal. I want to scream and cry my heart out but no, my father is sleeping and I don't want to wake him up. 

Part of the solution to all of this is that I must be honest with myself, show open-mindedness and a willingness to improve and get out of this tomb that I did myself. 

Honesty -

I have a problem, far greater that all I ever imaginated. Excessive gaming has hurt me in so many ways that I cannot write them in 1 hour. This could go on and on but this wall of text will be enough for step 1, I suppose. lol I cannot manage my addiction, therefore I am seeking help and together we shall prevail! I really believe we will. :-) 

Open-mindedness -

I am open to all ways to improve myself, be it constructive criticism and learning more about me. I am open to everything, all I want is to be free, free from my addictions, from my demons. 

Willingness -

I will do what needs to be done and I mean, everything that needs to be done, in order to beat this. I am commited and I will not fail. Failure is not an option and I will succeed. 

Thanks for reading my story and I hope this has not been too painful to read! 

Welcome Christopher. Thanks for sharing your story! I could relate to so much of it. It helps to know we're not alone in this.

Quote:

I cannot manage my addiction, therefore I am seeking help and together we shall prevail! I really believe we will. :-)

Yes! Together we're able to do what we cannot do alone. I've been off games for quite a while now, ever since I started taking my situation seriously, connecting with other people in recovery from video gaming addiction, and trying out the suggestions of people who've been off games long term. I've found the daily voice meetings very helpful. Looking forward to hearing your progress!

Welcome Christopher

Glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story !

STEP 1: I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become unmanageable.

I admit that I am powerless over my game addiction and that my life has become umanageable

I admit that I have a problem with gaming 
I accept that it is out of my control
I accept that I can't game casually like other people and need to stop gaming altoghether.
I admit that I thought I could set limits on how much time I gamed
I accept that I can not control my time spent gaming

I have been gaming since the first home computers came out and have lost myself to them. I retreated to a world of fantasy to avoid dealing with my real life problems. I hungered for the next achievment in the game but didn't strive to achieve in real life. I avoided my friends and family for my online community. I neglected my responsibilities as an adult and avoided taking chances in real life. 

I admit that I am a gaming addict
I accept that I must quite gaming to take back control of my life

In my addiction I,

1. Spend most of the day and most of the night on the games

2. Use games to fill in the vacant time in my life of which there seems to be an endless amount

3. Use games to cope with the pain of my poor mental heal and the pain of reality

4. Use games and gaming to feel empowered and important

5. Use Games to feel 'that' sense of achivement that is so hard to obtain in real life

6.  Don't wash

7. Don't eat,

8. Binge on take away

9. Drink millions of cups of tea, coffee and water

10. Go to the toilet often because I drink so much liquid

11. Sell very badly

12. Don't do any housework

13. Don't work/ earn any money

14. Live off the government

15. Love the games/ hate the games

16. Buy games, play them then destroy them or trade them back in only to go get them again as I have been dreaming about achieveming more in them

17. Hate myself utterly

18. Lie to close friends/ distance myself from friends and family

19. Am utterly alone

20. Put my life at risk (I had clots in my lungs/ legs because I would sit so long a year ago and nearly died, I could easily get this again and yet I knew this and would keep playing and playing.)

My story started in 2017.

With a breakup, and a prior gaming love.

When I moved to university, I found myself powerless to Xbox, to gaming. I would play it to defend against any shame, I would play it to defend against any risk.
This stems from defending myself from my father.

Everything in my life became unmanageable. I failed all of my classes, and wasted all of my money on weed and video games to push the bliss.
I moved in with a friend, and got a construction job.
I only used the money for weed and video games.
Powerless to act on in, I stayed this way 6 months. Not sleeping. Calling in sick. Powerless.

I moved home, got two jobs. Eased myself back into going to university. Here we are, two years later, and I've relapsed into a different video game. Using it for the same reason.

I managed to get rid of weed, but here I am still stuck on video games.

At this moment I have a tally of 13 things I need to do for school. All for marks. My quality of life is minimal, as I can not take care of myself, playing video games instead. Powerless to the draw.
I need help.
I need support.

I need to let video games go.

No matter how much I've invested.

I am powerless to the draw of my fantasy world.
My real life is no longer manageable.

Just wanted to say hi and let you know there are quite a few of us whose lives got out of control with compulsive gaming. If you're looking to find out more about escaping the vicious cycle and turning our lives around for the better, come to the daily meetings. You could just listen if you don't want to talk yet. The voice meetings at 7pm PST are well attended. Hope to see you there.

Rich

http://www.olganon.org/forum/line-meetings-message-board/all-online-meetings-computervideo-gaming-addicts

I admit that I am POWERLESS over my gaming addiction. This took me a while to say, but after a decade of wanting to stop and still struggling to, I have to admit it. If this isn't powerlessness, I don't know what is.

Gaming for me is UNMANAGEABLE. It's unworkable. It doesn't fit with my goals and who I want to be. I hate myself each time I start playing again. At most there are a few hours of joy, but it always ends in disappointment.

I'M NOT A SOCIAL GAMER. I get so caught up in the escape and the distraction.

I'm at a point where I don't own any games, and my biggest vice is now watching others play games. This might not sound like a big deal but it is. It's different than actual gaming, of course, but it's still immersive and addictive. Plus it offers the excuse, "Well I'm not the one doing it." It's still escape, it's still monkey mind (fascinated by the flashing lights and bright colors), and it's still avoidance of adult life, which doesn't give immediate rewards but instead long-term rewards.

HONESTY - I struggle with an addiction to games--playing AND watching.

OPEN-MINDEDNESS - I'm open-minded to treating this as an addiction, and seeing how useful it is to take on the identity of someone with an addiction.

WILLINGNESS - I'm willing to do whatever I need to to stay in remission, because I'm *done* losing my precious time to this activity that was once beautiful in childhood but is now a poison in my adult life.