Husband plays for 18+ hrs a day :(

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Amb8807's picture
Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
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Joined: 10/02/2018 - 10:49pm
Husband plays for 18+ hrs a day :(

My husband and I have been together for 7 years. We both are divorced from previous marriages, and each have 2 kids from those marriages. We don’t have any together. 

He began gaming about 4 years ago. Never would I have thought it would get this bad. He spends 18 hrs a day playing Destiny. He completely ignores me and all four kids. I am left to do all housework, work full time and take care of the kids. He owns his own business, so there are many days he just decides not to work and stays home to play. I am so incredibly lonely. Anytime I ask him to spend time with me it turns into a HUGE fight, and usually ends up with him telling me to get out of his house. He tells me I’m selfish and calls me names like b****, c*nt, etc because I ask him to spend time with me. He says I don’t care about him enough to let him do what he likes to do. He said he doesn’t want to do anything else, and will not compromise. He is even refusing sex from me now. He won’t come to bed until 4 am and then gets up at 8-9 am to play. I recently had hip surgery and need his help because I can’t walk. He swore he would help me with everything. But if I ask for an ice pack for pain or for a snack, or need something, it literally takes him 2-3 hrs to come help me. The kids are suffering and I am suffering. I feel like I can’t leave him because my 2 kids and his 2 kids have grown up together, and if we divorce, they will never see his kids again, which makes me feel terrible. He takes all of his aggression out on me and I don’t know what to do anymore. He won’t even have any conversation about anything anymore because he is too busy on his games. He treats his online friends better than his family. I am tired of crying myself to sleep. I don’t know what to do. He refuses any therapy or help. I’ve tried living life without him and going about my day but I’m getting to a point that I am so lonely. I can’t do this anymore. Any suggestions? 

Polga's picture
Last seen: 10 hours 32 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am


You seem to be finding out you cannot change your gamer, but you can change you and by doing so you will alter this dynamic and open your world of possibility

I highly recommend you follow the link for spouses of gamers in my signature below which will give you the tools for change. 


Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 10/17/2018 - 11:04am
I know how you feel. My

I know how you feel. My boyfriend plays for 10+ hours on the week days and literally from 8am to 1am on the weekends. everytime i ask him for time its a bother. he told me i should leave the house so he can get in a good gaming session (aka screaming on the microphone with his friends for 6+ hours stright) i hate it so much 

-- Anon

Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 10/21/2018 - 4:06pm
The kids

When thinking of the kids, don't think of seperation anxiety as much as what they are learning in the current situation.  Do you want them emulating the relationship you have currently?  My guess is "dad" is not the role model they need either.  He needs help, but you can't make an addict want help.  If you want a last ditch, see if you can get him help thing, see a therapist and ask if its possible. 

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