My Husband is addicted to Clash of Clans

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Courtneymarkins
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I can relate to this story.

If your husband/BF is addictied to COC and other mmo games , this information can help: click here

 

roseline122211
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Im suffering from this game

Im suffering from this game because I'm emotionally attached to my clan. I can't quit the game and abandon my clanmates :( My clan is dying because of the lack of capable members. This game is exhausting.

Dani10
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Fiancé struggles

I'm actually the one who got my fiance into this game and I have regretted it ever since. The minute he joined, he took it to the extreme. It didnt take long for him to start moving up the ranks and connecting with the bigger clans/more serious players and making multiple accounts (he has 6 now). It really didn't become a problem until he got discord and started chatting and planning attacks with others in his clan. He has been playing for a few years now and I only recently stumbled onto a very nasty online relationship he has been having with another gamer. He was instantly apologetic and gave up all other social media.. But has held tight to this game. We are trying to work things out, but he has still been on his phone playing the game constantly and spends hours on the computer every weekend chatting with other gamers. I confronted him the other day about being second place to a video game, and he finally consented to giving it up. But the very next day he announced that he has decided that he is not going to give it up, but just cut back. He is not going to be doing it on the weekends and only playing after I go to bed. Well.. Obviously I didn't agree to these terms as I know it would only be a matter of time until he broke down and started to increase game time and we would be having the same conversation in a few months. As of today, he has "officially" quit. But I am nervous that this will not hold. I wanted him to give up the game on this own, not because I told him to. I am terrified that I am wasting my time with someone who is more in love with a game than me. I see all the posts here, and I don't want to start a family with someone who won't put me.. Or possibly kids as a first priority.

Wendy_kroger
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My husband's video game

My husband's video game addiction is out of control

TanyaTaylor
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It has been a few month since

It has been a few month since my husband left home and every time we have the opportunity to talk we always argue.

Phoenix14830
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My apologies, if reviving an

My apologies, if reviving an old post is against the CoC, but I see a lot of the perspective of the spouse and not of the excessive gamer, so I think I might be able to help a bit.

My wife and I got into Clash of Clans together and used to war and play side by side until a year and a half in.

She had got up to town hall 9, which is where the game goes from "anyone can do this" to "you really need to be using these particular attacks in a pretty refined way." She didn't like the feeling of losing in wars and it hurting the clan, so she left it up to me to do her warring.

After a while, she just lost interest and I started logging onto her account to get events done as well. Then, she just stopped playing alogether and I eventually took over her account in addition to my own. I have been using both accounts every night and here are my thoughts:
1. Your partner probably feels like the clan will fall apart without his/her help.

2. Your partner probably feels like you two really didn't have anything going on, so playing while you're doing nothing doesn't hurt anything.

3. Mobile games are extremely addictive: there's always an event, something that needs tending to, someone who needs training, etc. that makes it feel almost like a living thing that must be cared for or that great benefits would be lost without taking advantage of the event.

4. Your partner probably doesn't realize how much time is actually taken to "just check in"

Step 1: Don't come in the middle between him/her and the game. Approach from a negotiation standpoint of trying to achieve more of a balance.
Step 2: Make real life better than game life. Turn off the tv and start looking around for things to do around town, invite people over, do offline things together, plan more trips and day adventures. Get intimate and make it last a long time.

Step 3: Work on stepping down from multiple accounts.There's power in multiple accounts, but no real improvement in quality of play, it's just repitition. Work on convincing him/her to step it down to at most two accounts.
Step 4: Set fitness goals, heath goals and career goals then work on them together. Every night, both of you do a 1/2 hour disc of some workout program, followed by 1/2 of reading or planning for things you want in your career.

Step 5: Set the boundaries together of how much each of you considers as light gaming, heavy gaming and excessive gaming. Negotiate a level that you both feel is a challenge, but you're ok to limit at.

Step 6: Don't be a nag. You set the limit together and that means if he/she has 6 minutes left on the army to cook, that probably means it will take 15 minutes to play to finish.
Step 7: Agree to not get into a game that doesn't have an end again. There's nothing wrong with unwinding to a game after a long day. There's something very wrong with mobile games that you can play for five years of considerable repitition and not complete.
Step 8: Agree that not getting loot is ok. Agree that not doing war attacks isn't. The loot will be there tomorrow and every day for years to get more of and you don't get attacked for such a loss as to destroy your plans. War attacks have the whole war team's time and effort built-in and being a no show or a shotty effort teammate ruins your experience with the team. That said, take a few wars off once in a while and clean the mind out.

I'm looking forward to maxing out my base this year, and my spouse's base would take another 8 months after that point. I'm in no hurry. I still play every night from 8:30-11, but I'm usually doing house work between attacks.I realize I could have got another bachelor's degree in the time played on that game, so there is a very real time committment, but it was my choice to make. I plan an unplugged night once in a while to free the eyes, mind, and finger tips from the game. I don't like to play when the family is awake because I appreciate our time together.

My overarching point is that game provides an escape, but when done in excess, it becomes a problem. Learn to balance out the escape with other duties, fun and types of escape. If your spouse plays a lot, join in. Research and get a great co op game on a system he/she has and learn to enjoy the de-stress time together. Plan stuff in advance and have date nights, family nights, movie nights and game nights together. Help facilitate that you are an awesome partner that he or she can really escape with not from.

Polga
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Hi Phoenix

Hi Phoenix

This may be good advice for people with a mild gaming problem. This site is for people who cannot moderate gaming (real addicts) and the loved ones of those people. If you can successfullly moderate gaming this site is not for you.

We do not tell alcoholics to try a different way of drinking that could work for them. In the same way this site does not recommend moderation when people have already tried and proved they cannot have a balanced life, take good care of their family and continue to game at the same time.

When it's entrenched addiction, the spouse has no control and the gamer just wants to game, and not much else.

First aid kit for spouse of gamers here :

https://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-spousessignificant-others/first-aid-kit-spouses-and-significant-others-video-game

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

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