I can't unbreak my heart...

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Last seen: 1 week 6 days ago
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Joined: 05/25/2014 - 10:44pm
I can't unbreak my heart...

My story is very similar to so many others.

I decided to leave my marriage in the Fall of 2018, and after many requests, he has asked me to stay to work it out...

 I 'm trying to make this work, and he has stopped gaming but, the other side of this story is that he has started drinking heavily, made acusations of me cheating, and threaten to take away my financial mobiilty.   Is this withdrawl?!?

Truthfully, I have run out of steam and I don't know how to go back...

What I do know is that, we've been here so many times before when the gaming has stopped, it begins again.

I know that the way he has treated me has been disrespectful, deciteful and unkind.

I know that even the thought of returning to my relationship, grips my heart with such pain that it stops my breathing.

After 20 years of marrige, 10 years of outwardly trying to speak to my concerns, address the sadness, frustrating conversations, weeping, bouts of anger and exhaustion - My heart is broken and I've given up.



Polga's picture
Last seen: 22 hours 53 min ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Hi fdr and welcome

Hi fdr and welcome

Thanks for sharing. When the situation is hopeless we have to look after ourselves. So sorry for your loss due to addiction. Take good care of yourself. Pay attention to your feelings. Get therapy if it helps.  I hope that you make an awesome new life for yourself and can move on. Get lots of support for you. hugs x


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Last seen: 6 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 11/03/2018 - 9:10pm
I can relate

Hi fdr,

When I saw your post title "I can't  unbrake my heart" I completely related. My marriage isn't over yet, but I totally understand what you mean about: "After 20 years of marrige, 10 years of outwardly trying to speak to my concerns, address the sadness, frustrating conversations, weeping, bouts of anger and exhaustion - My heart is broken and I've given up." We're going on 18 years of marriage and it's been the same cycle. I just tried talking to him again today, pleading with him to consider the effects that his gaming has on our marriage and our kids. He was defensive, denied it being a problem (because he doesn't game 8+ hours a day anymore... it's just 2-4 hours) and blamed it on me. I don't know if he wil EVER truly wake up to the destructive effect that the gaming has on him, my kids and our marriage. My hope isn't entirely gone, but I sure am tired of the cycle and don't know how much longer I can last. I am a stay-at-home mom, so I don't have any financial independence and that scares me. I hope and pray that since your post, you have found some peace and a way out that doesn't destroy you. Blessings to you.


Saoljotaorah23's picture
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 06/03/2019 - 11:27pm
So sorry to hear

i know exactly what u are going through.  They direct the blame elsewhere and really do not think what they are doing is hurting us.  It sucks, really sucks...


Gloryfindel's picture
Last seen: 3 months 3 weeks ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/24/2019 - 11:17pm
Same boat

I've been married 11 years and if my husband isn't at work or sleeping he is gaming. I've talked to him multiple times with no success. He doesn't consider gaming an addiction so today I asked him if gambling is an addiction. He responded with no it's not....I have no clue how to make him see. I've gone on to live my life with my three daughters but I'm just tired. I can't take much more but like you I feel stuck because I'm also a stay home mom and have no income. I also homeschool my children. I'm in the dark with no light or hope. I just keep going for my babies.

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