Lonely wife of a gamer

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tankgirl1123
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Lonely wife of a gamer

Hi. I dont know if I am in the right place or what I'm really doing. I just know that I am hearing my husband on his headset talking to people he has never really met and I am left here to my own thoughts. I will try and talk to him, something as simple as asking him how his day at work was. And he glares at me like "how dare you interupt me" and answers with a one word response and then continues to ignore me. I guess I should start from when it started. Its been almost 2 years now. And just getting worse. I am married to a U.S soldier who plays EVE online every waking moment he is home. He will wake up and play. Go to PT come home for breakfast and play, go to work, come home for lunch and play on lunch break, go back to work and come home and play till he goes to bed. I am a house wife and a mother of a 6 year old boy. I can handle being ignored (for the most part) but it breaks my heart when our son asks him to play with him and he says not now. More like not ever. I cry myself to sleep at night sometimes. I know there is nothing I can do. I ask him to do stuff with us (go to the park, or for a walk or workout, etc.) but its always the same. I go with my son to the park and for walks and, yes, my 6 year old even works out with me. I just dont know what to do anymore.

Anyway, I was getting at it started almost 2 years ago when he got home from Afghanistan. I had not seen him in months and months and then he comes home and finds this game. Whats the point of being married to someone who doesn't want anything to do with you except have you clean, cook, and be his "toy" in the bedroom. Sorry. I just feel like I dont really have a place in his world. I'm to the point where I am just about done. I love him and miss him. And I'm looking right at him. Its like having a big kid that lives in my house.

Thanks for letting me rant. I really don't know what to do. I'm losing him. I'm losing my mind. The only thing that keeps me going is my son.

LearningSerenity
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Welcome to OLGA, Tankgirl. 

Welcome to OLGA, Tankgirl. I'm a gaming addict rather than the spouse of one, so I'm not going to lie and say that I can relate to what you're saying. What I can say is that what you are describing is a lot more common than you might think, and although I'm really sad to hear it, I'm not surprised. I don't have too much to say, but hopefully you'll find something in here helpful.

There's a post by Mel about her experiences with living with a gaming addict, and I'd highly recommend it (http://olganon.org/?q=node/42150). If you decide you're going to stay in this relationship, that post has a lot of things in it that you might find helpful, and speaking from my half of the picture, the things Mel says make a lot of sense. If you decide you aren't going to put up with it, then by all means feel free to do what you think you should. The things that addicts like me can do to loved ones are pretty horrible, and nobody here is going to dispute the fact that leaving is a perfectly valid option.

Hopefully, some of the other spouses will stop by in the near future and post some, but please realize that you're not alone, and I'd think it strange if you DIDN'T have some major issues with how he's treating you and your son now. Feel free to keep posting on your thread with any questions you might have or rants you need to leave. You don't need to be alone in this. Hugs...

When you're going through hell...keep going. --Winston Churchill There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still --Corrie ten Boom

cdgoldilocks
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Hi. My husband is a war vet

Hi. My husband is a war vet no longer in the military. Was deployed to Iraq in the infantry. I would love to blame his gaming on PTSD or something, but he is just lame. I have read every self help book there is trying to "fix" my husband, trying to find ways to "figure him out" or agonize over what he was thinking so I could "get him to change". We too have a son together that he doesn't really do much with other than play xbox or ps4 with. I have gone to Al-anon, counseling, I have begged, threatened, pleaded, ignored, you name it....I have done it. All in the name of trying to get my gamer to change. None of it worked. What HAS worked is throwing all that "helping your addict" bull crap out the window. It is time to get selfish. The only self help books you need to be buying are ones by Kim Kardashian and people who write books entitled "All about ME: how to be self absorbed and selfish erry'day". I am kidding, but not really. Your gamer is being the ultimate selfish person, and you can't change it. You can only change how YOU respond to HIS behavior. I think a lot of the information here can help you with that. The forums and "sticky" posts in the spouses of gamers forum is a good place to start reading too. LearningSerenity already linked a great place to go. Sorry for my little rant there. I do remember feeling so helpless, not knowing what to do. I remember reading everything, trying to find the "answer" somewhere. I just couldn't understand how a "game" could steal my husband away from a family that loved him and turn him into such a selfish person. Once you accept the game is an addiction much the same way crack or alcohol is to a person, you can read THAT literature and substitute "gaming" and it all makes sense..... You aren't alone.

princessmom
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Hi there. I just found this

Hi there. I just found this site a few days ago too. I wish i could say sonething encouraging to you, but i am in the same place as you. Viewing it as an addiction has helped me, but the awareness it brought was overwhelming. I too cried myself to sleep many nights after hoping he would join me. We hardly have sex anymore, but i wont sleep with him just to meet his needs. He needs to treat me as a person before that happens. I can say that i started disengaging a few months ago and it has helped me feel a sense of control over my life. He has even joined us a few times on outings after i simply announce our plans.The outings have been bittersweet, as i know he is thinking of his game and will return to it as soon as we get home. I find not ever apologizing for doing my own thing has been helpful. Our youngest is 6 as well and is very smart and outspoken about this. She regularly asks me why he only sits at his computer, doesnt play with her, and gets angry a lot. It does break your heart ..no matter what you do. I stay because i hope one day he will return to us and be the husband and father he used to be. I feel so bad for you and cant tell you what to do, but you are not alone. Your feelings of loneliness and desperation are shared by me and many others. Feel free to message me if you ever just want to talk .none of my friends here have this problem so i have stopped talking to them about it. Therapy was a disaster for us as well, he wasnt ready to hear it and the therapist accepted his " needing to escape" and other lame reasons for playing. I plan to read some things about addiction in the hopes of helping myself. Good luck to you.

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Hugs Tankgirl. I am sorry

Hugs Tankgirl. I am sorry that you have to go through this. He is too involved in his game to realize what is going on. I was once in your husban's world, the slave to the game, I was no longer in control. I could not stop even if I wanted to. I kept making all of these excuses to continue my gaming. I learned to lie and cheat and do many aweful things. Gaming was a form of reality's escape for me. It was nice to not be the real me in real life because there were too much stress/pain/distress for me to deal with at that moment. Gaming is like a painkiller, most addicts take it because they are in pain.

We can not control other's action, but we can control our action. We can learn to take care of ourselve better and keep us focused on short-term goals and prevent us from going insane.

I have created a personal blog to share from my experience as an addict, and I hope you will find it helpful.

http://olganon.org/?q=node/42035

Hugs,

Maggie

It's good to have goals and dreams, but while you're waiting for things to change, waiting for promises to come to pass, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in--Pastor Joel Osteen

kyunga1214
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All my thoughts and support

All my thoughts and support to you, Tankgirl.

When I try to look at this from your husband's POV, it does sound like he has escapism issues, which I can totally identify with. There was a very painful period in my life where I resorted to gaming escapism for 3-4 months where I didn't speak to my family members. This was because I spent 9 hours working at a job I hated (tiring, boring, discouraging work) and whatever free time I had at the end of the day (2-3 hours at the most), I craved to do something that gave me happiness, which in this case, was gaming. Yes, you can make the case that "social contact will create more happiness than gaming" but at that time, I wasn't thinking that logically. I knew that the satisfaction I would gain from gaming was instant - no wait needed - just immediate gratification for some sort of relief in my life, escape from the 9-10 hours I just spent at a job that i hate, and where I feel like I have no control to get out of that job.

Just like everyone else said, perhaps there's two options at this point: 1) Try all strategies to communicate to him ... and if that fails (you need to set yourself a deadline for this) then perhaps 2) Rethink your relationship. Would he be a good father for your child in the future? Is there possiblity for improvement?

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Thankgirl, I've been giving

Thankgirl, I've been giving talks in the US NAVY, as I am an active duty officer, on gaming addictions. Soldiers are prone to gaming addiction because research has shown that it helps with PTSD and stress by "sedating the brain". which opens the opportunity for abuse.

Watch this video where I present this concept with my wife. Starting location where I discuss gaming as a digital drug is 11m50s. ***WARNING: GAME IMAGES IN VIDEO FOR THOSE IN RECOVERY***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khoVkmP3Ymk&t=11m50s

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

PrettyPlease22
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I understand your

I understand your frustration and pain. I have a 6 year old and a four year old and it's the same thing. Play, sleep, play, eat, work, play and the cycle repeats itself.. I hope your situation gets better, if only they know how much it hurts the other person.

VFX
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*edited for people's

*edited for people's delicate sensibilities*

Why not hide the power cables to his computer? When he asks you about them, tell him you need to talk and give him an ultimatum. The games or you. If he chooses the games, then you see where you stand in the relationship.

mindbodyspirit
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VFX wrote: I know this
VFX wrote:

I know this sounds crazy and drastic, but what if you broke his computer? I've seen YouTube videos of girls doing stuff like that to their boyfriends - like smashing their priceless Star Wars collectibles. "Alls fair in love and war" maybe saving your marriage is worth ****ing him off extremely badly. Just smash it in his face, or bring a "friend" over from the gym. He'll be outta that computer chair in the blink of an eye, lol

some food for thought

Not sure if you are being serious or trolling, but please dont give irresponsible advice to people that can be detrimental to their lives. This is not a game. These stories are the real life experiences of members of this site. Any advice you give could have real life consequences in lives of members. infact alot of members here are sharing personal stories with us that they do not even share other family members, and they are also in a fragile/emotional state as they share them.

Please be responsible.

VFX
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No, I was being serious. How

No, I was being serious. How would disabling the computer be more detrimental to her life than leaving her husband?

Okay, maybe hide the power chord of the computer instead of breaking it.

I had a feeling I would upset someone's delicate sensibilities with my realistic advice. It seems like everyone on here just says "Oh I feel your pain, let me tell you about ME, come to the meetings".

It's almost like, how far are you willing to go to save your marriage? To a lot of you, it sounds like the answer is "go pout in the corner and be passive agressive". You all have to take action and get mad. I'm sorry you don't like my advice, but am I not entitled to my opinion on here? I'm sincerely trying to help and not trolling.

Ascender
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VFX wrote: No, I was being
VFX wrote:

No, I was being serious. How would disabling the computer be more detrimental to her life than leaving her husband?

Okay, maybe hide the power chord of the computer instead of breaking it.

I had a feeling I would upset someone's delicate sensibilities with my realistic advice. It seems like everyone on here just says "Oh I feel your pain, let me tell you about ME, come to the meetings".

It's almost like, how far are you willing to go to save your marriage? To a lot of you, it sounds like the answer is "go pout in the corner and be passive agressive". You all have to take action and get mad. I'm sorry you don't like my advice, but am I not entitled to my opinion on here? I'm sincerely trying to help and not trolling.

I'll be straight with you too since you don't believe in softening your speech for people. To me, your sort of advice and talking sounds very short-sighted and quite frankly, naive. It sounds like something someone would say who's had a lot less exposure to real life situations and problems and someone who is operating on a much more emotional level filled with pride. It sounds like a lot of gamers I know in fact, which is no coincidence I'm sure.

Conflict does not resolve conflict, not in a relationship. This isn't a War Game or a Raid battle plan we're coming up with here. This isn't a ****ing contest to see who can stand their ground in some sort of competition. Situations like this involve people who have loved or do love each other, sometimes children are involved, and the ramifications are infinitely more delicate than a quick John Wayne sort of attitude to resolve a disagreement online.

You're being honest but you're not being smart or thinking on a larger perspective.
People in recovery try to think outside themselves and be there to LISTEN to people, not strut around with arrogant advice.

People here respond with "hugs" or suggesting links and then relate with their own story because they are being humble and realize that we aren't here to hand out advice, we're here to listen to each other and relate to each other's stories. That's the best thing we can do, because as an addict, I know no one can help me but myself. When advice is asked for, I've seen it offered though of course. But it's usually grounded and realistic enough that it isn't mistaken for trolling.

Just some "food for thought".

-Ascender

A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //

Ascender
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mudphud wrote: Thankgirl,
mudphud wrote:

Thankgirl, I've been giving talks in the US NAVY, as I am an active duty officer, on gaming addictions. Soldiers are prone to gaming addiction because research has shown that it helps with PTSD and stress by "sedating the brain". which opens the opportunity for abuse.

Watch this video where I present this concept with my wife. Starting location where I discuss gaming as a digital drug is 11m50s. ***WARNING: GAME IMAGES IN VIDEO FOR THOSE IN RECOVERY***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khoVkmP3Ymk&t=11m50s

Oh and by the way I meant to reply to Mud, not just pick on VFX :P

Thanks for the share Mud. It's comforting to know that there are strides being made for public awareness and research on gaming addiction. You're lucky to be in a position to spread the word with an educated and medical perspective.

A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //

cdgoldilocks
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Well, and most of the people

Well, and most of the people here are the gamers themselves and not the ****ed off wives. I am not as tolerant and accepting and touchy feel-y of the gaming behavior. I find it disgusting. Sorry. No sympathy here when you choose to neglect me.

i would love to smash his stuff, but I do agree that it would solve nothing. Smashing another person's item's does not respect another person's space, even though I have personally felt like hiding cords, authenticators, etc.

there is a distinct difference between righteous anger and tearing someone's personal belongings up. The gamer's spouse needs to learn about detachment, living their own life, and personal boundaries. You can't control someone else. You can only change YOU. So the spouse needs to let the gamer be a loser while she gets a life of her own, becomes awesome. Let him be a troll and smell. She can go out with friends.

Gamer spouses feel so alone. I for one don't care how my gamer feels once he chooses gaming over me. FYI.

VFX
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[removed] forget it

[removed] forget it

VFX
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I wanted to come back and

I wanted to come back and say that I'm sorry for offering bad advice. I don't want any hard feelings, as I like this site. I'll be more responsible as you said.

Patria
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cdgoldilocks wrote: Well,
cdgoldilocks wrote:

Well, and most of the people here are the gamers themselves and not the ****ed off wives. ....

True. But the "gamers" here are RECOVERING people, who have quit gaming or trying to quit gaming, and learning to be less selfish and by paying attention to their spouses or parents.

What the RECOVERING people--gamers or anons--have to offer here are good suggestions on how to deal with this addiction.

None of us have sympathy--gamer or not--for selfish people. But since we've been there and done that, we do have suggestions about how to arrest this self-centereness.

Smashing, hiding, and destroying computer equipment, is like taking all the bottles from an alcoholic and breaking them or pouring the alcohol down the drain. Does that work? It never has. We just go out and buy more. Plus now we'll drink more cause you ****ed us off. Hundreds of years of breaking alcohol bottles is testament to the fruitlessness of this suggestion (hugs to you VFX--we love you, you didn't know).

But Alanon has a huge fellowship of women and men who have learned to have HAPPY, DECENT, and FULLFILLING LIVES in spite of their addicts. If the spouses still love their addicts, that is.

If they don't love their addicts, then leave. For heavens sake. Addiction is bad. No one should have to live with it. Nobody.

tnimbus
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I'm here as a recovering

I'm here as a recovering gamer...I feel for you and hope things go well for you. I'm going to share something that happened to me on an MMO...and I think it happens a lot, and is "hidden" in the gaming addiction...I don't know if that's the right word. You mentioned that your husband is having an affair with someone ingame. I may have read that wrong and if I did I apologize..it is something very serious to think about though.

If I offend anyone, I apologize, I don't mean to..but well...when I was at the MMO I was addicted to, I ran into several men and women who were having cyberaffairs ingame....I don't know if it was part of the addiction, or aided and abetted by it..but there were all kinds of cyberaffairs and cybersex going on...I too became involved with someone who I later found out was married in rl...not divorced...and he was also super addicted to the game. He was also having numerous affairs ingame....it's something I don't think is addressed a lot. It's like an addiction within an addiction, or yet another addiction that gets fed.

I guess what I want to say is...if he's having a cyberaffair with someone as well as being game-addicted...that's well...he's denying you and your son his attention, cutting you out of his life...and he's cheating on you..I can't tell you what to do, and I for one, support you in having your own wonderful life...but it sounds like he has several serious issues he needs to work on...I don't want to sound harsh, or mean, or anything like that. It's just that I saw several rl marriages disentegrate over game "relationships"....and the gamer WOULD NOT give up the game...or the game affair partner. DOn't do this to yourself...you deserve much, much better then to be left for a game....and a woman online.

I mean no harm and hope that makes sense.

Played two years at an MMO, started as an hour here, or there, ended with me being there 10 hours a day. Became overly involved in a "game-relationship" that started carrying over into my RL and caused many, MANY, problems. Also stopped contact with "game-friends" because of their own game-addictions. Game-free since Sept. 2013.
Starting to feel much better and the withdrawal symptoms are lessening. I have limited myself to two days online a week, for only two hours, until I'm six months into my recovery. Then a third day. Thank you for this site.:)

cdgoldilocks
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I agree with you Patria. I

I agree with you Patria. I don't believe in taking away or controlling game play. It doesn't work.

I want it understood where I was coming from with regard to my comment on "understanding the gamer". If a gamer is REALLY trying to quit, I get being supportive. However, if a gamer is actively gaming, I don't CARE why he games. I don't care if his mommy and daddy didn't love him. I don't CARE if he is stressed out. I don't CARE if he is hurting. If a gamer is gaming 14 hours a day and doesn't want to stop gaming 14 hours a day, treats me like crap, leaves me to do it all.... I don't care WHAT causes it. I don't want to care.

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And you absolutely shouldn't

And you absolutely shouldn't care Goldilocks! honestly, you shouldn't. He's responsible and he needs to man up. I'm with ya on this one.

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cdgoldilocks wrote: I agree
cdgoldilocks wrote:

I agree with you Patria. I don't believe in taking away or controlling game play. It doesn't work.

I want it understood where I was coming from with regard to my comment on "understanding the gamer". If a gamer is REALLY trying to quit, I get being supportive. However, if a gamer is actively gaming, I don't CARE why he games. I don't care if his mommy and daddy didn't love him. I don't CARE if he is stressed out. I don't CARE if he is hurting. If a gamer is gaming 14 hours a day and doesn't want to stop gaming 14 hours a day, treats me like crap, leaves me to do it all.... I don't care WHAT causes it. I don't want to care.

This sounds like healthy thinking to me. It isn't selfish to want to focus on your family and yourself when there's an addict in your life. I don't think there really is any understanding an addict's thinking, not really. I grew up with an addict parent and it didn't really matter what we did or tried to do. It didn't matter after the divorce, it doesn't matter now with her new husband, it won't ever matter. Meetings, interventions, out of state rehabs, seizures and a broken vertebra, ****ing herself, losing friends and embarrassing herself in public, passing out on the wheel, etc etc etc. None of that mattered enough for her to quit. Psycho-analysis sure as hell won't matter either.

On this site I'm here for my own problems with games but I do get where SO's and family members of addicts are coming from. Had our family stayed together and tried to "understand" the addict, we would've all just grown more miserable and bitter toward one another. That much I do know.

My prayers go out to you. *hugs*

A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //

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VFX wrote: I wanted to come
VFX wrote:

I wanted to come back and say that I'm sorry for offering bad advice. I don't want any hard feelings, as I like this site. I'll be more responsible as you said.

No worries VFX. WE love you man. HUGS

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Interesting that you mention

Interesting that you mention that Ascender. That is the scariest thing IMO about addiction. The possibility of reaching rock bottom and having my addiction still win that fight. I was at rock bottom for a period of only 2 weeks, in which I had MASSIVE stress (even went grey). Thankfully God swooped down and saved me from falling into even more darkness. I could not imagine living like that for a lifetime, or hitting rock bottom multiple times. That would be my personal hell.

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Hey VFX. I am in no way

Hey VFX. I am in no way picking on you; your advice is kind of logical and what many of us gamer-widows dream of doing (smashing the **** computer). Makes perfect sense.

But I do ask you to consider this, and I don't believe I have "delicate sensibities".

If I had smashed my gamer's computer when he was at the height of his addiction, he would have beaten me, possibly to death. I'm not alone with that; I know other gamer-widows who live with men who have become so immersed and violently defensive of their game that previously kind and respectful men have become violent and terrifying lunatics. My former partner hit me, threw things at me, bit me and ripped my hair out in chunks numerous times because I dared so much as interrupt his gaming by trying to speak to him. He wasn't like that before WoW. He turned into a monster when he played that game.

Please be aware that whilst you might not be a violent person, some addicts are and suggestions of making them do anything by force can be really freaking dangerous.

Safety comes first, and provoking an addict isn't safe.

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I totally agree with you!! I

I totally agree with you!! I am the gamers wife and would love to smash his gaming system but that wouldnt solve anything.... Plus it would just hurt me in the long run cuz I am so OCD when it comes to money and I know **** well he would just go out and buy a new one. Which would just punish me and my bank account. My hubby is now unemployed and now thinks he will make make money streaming himself playing video games!! Are you serious!!! Ya ok!! NOT!! He now spends his day making a website for his gaming buddies and himself. Buying sh** to make his computer run better for game playing. Stays up all night till like 4:30am and then has to turn around and get up with our son who is 18mths so I can go to work! I work my ass off all day then have to run errands do the grocery shopping, come home make dinner, manage the finances, bathe the kids make lunches clean ect... HE hardly leaves the house now and will do things if I write them down and if he doesnt forget!!! I feel like im doing everything. Stressed to the max and he just sits there on his computer playing/doing hsit for his game streaming. Its not fair!! He sits and collects unemployment and doesnt have a worry in the world. The loss of his job is like a breaking point for me. I am starting to dispise him..... We dont spend time together. no affection, NO SEX! We dont go to bed together ever, Its like we just coexsist in life. I bite my tonuge a LOT cuz I dont want our children to see or hear us fighting. BUT TRUST ME HE KNOWS HOW I FEEL I HAVE TOLD HIM MANY TIMES. I even stopped birth control cuz whats the point on taking it if ur not having sex. We maybe do 1x a month if that and only because he gets me when im half asleep so its easier for him. I have now put my foot down. No sex EVER. If you cant show me attention during the day then ur sure as hell not gettin any when u decide to come to bed! People say just leave divorce him... Well easier said then down when kids are involved. I have a 12yr old daughter and a 18mth old son. Im not gunna flip their world/life style upside down for my happiness. I dont want my kids to have a broken home or have to change schools and so on just for my happiniess.

UGH at a loss.

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Melissa Evermore wrote: Hey
Melissa Evermore wrote:

Hey VFX. I am in no way picking on you; your advice is kind of logical and what many of us gamer-widows dream of doing (smashing the **** computer). Makes perfect sense.

But I do ask you to consider this, and I don't believe I have "delicate sensibities".

If I had smashed my gamer's computer when he was at the height of his addiction, he would have beaten me, possibly to death. I'm not alone with that; I know other gamer-widows who live with men who have become so immersed and violently defensive of their game that previously kind and respectful men have become violent and terrifying lunatics. My former partner hit me, threw things at me, bit me and ripped my hair out in chunks numerous times because I dared so much as interrupt his gaming by trying to speak to him. He wasn't like that before WoW. He turned into a monster when he played that game.

Please be aware that whilst you might not be a violent person, some addicts are and suggestions of making them do anything by force can be really freaking dangerous.

Safety comes first, and provoking an addict isn't safe.

Yah that was my main concern. It just seemed like a bad combination or circumstances. A military man with possible PTSD/trauma etc, with a hardcore videogame addiction+a wife who uses violence to smash and destroy the main tool of his addiction+a guy from the gym (huh?) =bad outcome. This stuff becomes serious when you hear the theories about why events like Sandyhook happened (gamer rage etc).

Kindrella5
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I feel sad to read your

I feel sad to read your problem. ALthough it was years ago, i still feel sad. I hope that you already found the solution for it. I've read lots of people  having the same problem as yours. However, i would say that it's not about the game only. The problem is him. Based on what i read, i feel like he didn't have any respect to you. I know that you tried to improve the situation a lot. But, it's really difficult to deal with the situation when he didn't realize the problem and wanted to fix it. The best way for you is leaving him. It can hurt you but just temporary. I wish you all the best!

DisconnectedWife
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Tank Girl

Tank Girl- I’m wondering if you still get on here. Your story is so similar to how I feel right now. I’m wondering what ever ended up happening, and if you’re okay now. I am so hurt, and confused.

DisconnectedWife

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I’m wondering the same thing.

I’m wondering the same thing. I’m about ready to throw all gaming related materials in the garbage. Of course I know that’s not going to do anything and I wouldn’t actually cause that kind of conflit but I’m about at my wits end. We’re going on a two week vacation but the two weeks leading to vacation has been terrible. Playing 15-18 hours a day. Answers to any question is the death stare and one word answer if I’m lucky. I feel like my husbands roomate. They’re good and bad days but lately it’s been the absolute worst which is why I found this outlet. None of my friends really understand what’s this feels like. 

Polga
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Welcome to the forum Anon !

Welcome to the forum Anon ! Your relationship sounds hard to deal with. Addiction is crazy. I hope you find our resources helpful. Keep coming back !

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Retro
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Hello everyone my name is Retro .. Actually it`s stuart

Hello everyone

I did not know where to post this so I thought I would just try here, I am addicted to playing games but not just games computing in general. I think it started around the time I was 13, I was going through a real bad time in my life. I was getting bullied, like a LOT and it was everyday at school. I did not have any friends and even though I told people about it they were not listening just left me to it. 

So I took to computing as a way of an escape, couple of hours here and there I thought no harm done. By the age of 16 I was so into gaming that sometimes I would spend the whole night up on my computer trying to achieve that next goal in the games I played or spend time programming in a language I would never even dream about using to my advantage. I did it to escape because to me there was no other choice and real life had become an intrusion.

When I turned 18 that was when I met my wife .... in a pizza shop as that is much quicker than cooking for myself right and the less time I could spend eating the more time I could spend playing. We fell in love and I moved in with her and everything was fine until a computer was bought for me. It was like meeting an old friend for me and it all started again, Few hours here and there I would tell myself whats the harm?. 

sigh.... there is much more to this story but feel I have already bored the reader by now and this is all I am going to tell you guys for now, Besides like I said I do not even know if this is the right forum to post in. 

I will say this though ... I need help as my marriage is worth fighting for and I want to get myself back into reality before I end up loosing my wife and kids for good.  

 

LovingMom97
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You ARE in the right place

You ARE in the right place here. You are NOT alone. Good for you that you reached out. So happy to hear you say your wife and kids are worth fighting for!
This addiction is widespread now and there IS help oit there. My son went to restart life in Seattle. They now have day programs too. AA is great, olganon has face to face meetings, also a list of counselirs and books. Keep coming back here.
Get yourself the help you deserve. YOU are worth it!
KL

KL

Polga
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Welcome Stuart !

Welcome Stuart !

See the links in my signature for more information

Thanks for sharing. Any questions please ask

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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