He has created an online gaming persona where he can love other characters

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Lilly92
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Joined: 10/01/2019 - 3:39am
He has created an online gaming persona where he can love other characters

Hello All 

 

Im new here, and very grateful to have found this group, Ive been feeling lonley and betrayed by my Fiance and his gaming habits 

He played games in the past but this recent game has him spinning out of control and I fear im loosing him. 

He wakes up before me to play his game he plays right through his day and work and when we get home he plays till early hours of the morning. 

Now I have confronted him and told him I feel like his time is less with me and we came to an agreement that we will spend 30min together evry night and dinner will have no phones allowed 

This worked out great for a while. Untill I found out that he is talking to another gaming woman on a private chat where he tells her he loves her and misses her, my world crashed, Im shocked im hurt i feel angry and my trust has been broken. 

I then decided to confront him about this and calmly explained how this behavour is not normal in any relatinship, However he fails to see my point and told me that it is just a role playing game and that hes continuing this role playing on the other platform to keep the game going...now he then said he didnt want to leave the game because he will hate me for it this game is what he uses as an excape route from our finance problem and stress, he said that if I cant except that his fantacy game and his fantacy wife on the game (YES he got married to this character in the game!) then im going to single handedly ruin our relationship. he said that i have insucurities that I have to work on that him saying those words of "my Love" and "I Miss you" means nothing its just make believe.

 

Im hurt I feel like hes Emotionaly withdrawing from me I cant reach him anymore. and somehow hes turned this into my fault making me feel guilty for feeling betrayed 

 

Sincerly 

Very Hurt and Confused  

Polga
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Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome to Olganon Lilly

Welcome to Olganon Lilly

If he is addicted he will not want to give up his game. He cannot see the damage he is doing to your relationship.

Take a look at the resources for spouses/SO's using the link in my signature below. There is a section of 'online cheating' which shows other's point of view around this. There is also information about getting support for you and ways you can understand addiction and your options for how to deal with it.

I think it will be difficult to get him to see your side of things. After you have tried your best (see section on inteventions and communication) you may have to accept he is how he is and then plan your own life accordingly. What you do not have to do is to squash your own feelings about his actions. you do not have to agree with him. Addicts often use 'it's your problem, not mine' rationaisation. Don't fall for it !

Keep coming back to read what others have done.

You are not alone with this problem.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

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