At my breaking point

Welcome Coldplay

You need some support ! You are not alone !

 This thread will help you to find support and strengthen yourself and find sanity

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/your-partner-gaming-addict-how-get

Keep coming back and readi the links in this post above so that the information can become a part of you.

It sounds like you know what the deal is but you still are stuck. Take some small steps forward and start to make changes. xxx

I used to make him happy. He became addicted at young age but wasn't playing them when we married so I had no clue. Now we are separated and he wont move home with me and our 6 kids because I wont allow video games. Qhen is enough, enough?

Reading people’s stories is so sad. Although i can’t say my current status with my wife is as severe as the stories (articles) I’ve read I’m beginning to worry because this is how it’s starts right. A little playtime here and next thing you know they are up all night.  I spoke to my wife’s best friend who agreed with me. She felt she was playing way too much, although my wive has made an attempt to be on her phone when I’m present or awake. I still catch her here and there. She will spend more time in the bathroom, always seem to have upset stomach now rEason for so much time in bathroom. Intimacy is on exisant. She is always tired, she works construction and I get it it’s a physical job so it’s hard work. But...when it’s saturday night and we are in bed watching a little tv before bed...I tend to doze off...:I then wake up at 1am and she is on her phone playing a game. That’s frustrating, we have talked about it in past and I got “well I didn’t want to wake you, you were asleep!” Or “is the light bothering you?” So I’m almost at the point where it’s like forget it, have your F-n game! In past I would tell her let’s take our 2year old to the park “ok give me a Couple minutes!” Minutes would turn into an hour. So I just started to leave without her...just to come home and find her on the couch playing that stupid game. Or on the kitchen counter charging her phone while playing. Now I’m here downstairs after another Saturday night it’s 1:41am so I’m writing because she finally went to bet I had to turn tv off cuz she apparently fell asleep. I call her my wife but we are to get married in April of this year 2019. But now I’m like wait a minute should I even bother? She seems excited and eager to get all the wedding stuff prepared and taken care of. Everything is perfect except for that dam game! 

I am not sure what to do, do I just call it off? Or do I go alone because of our child he’s only two and I don’t want to break him from mom and dad being together. Another thing I thought is can anyone sue these video game companies? Is that even possible? I was just reminded of another thing, she has also made friends online...and added them to Facebook and some insta messenger crap, just like everyone else on here says is it cheating? When do you know. She told me one night when she came up that he was talking to the wife of one the gamers. “That someone had broken into their home and they fought and the gamer on the other end got hurt.” What I really wanted to say I did not, but what I was thinking was look at you knowing more about someone else than me, here I am alone!

i spoke to my wife’s friend and she herself said, “who gives 2 fs about someone across the world on line, your family is the ones you should be concerned about!” And I agree, so that’s where I’m at it’s 2am sad I can’t believe it, I have given up so much for my future wife. I stopped hanging out with my friends I stopped drinking and I even stop going to the gym...I always want to spend time with her but now it’s like I’m a part time husband. 

I don’t mind her playing the game if she would know when it’s family time and when it’s our time. I’m not sure where things will end up. But I think I will start

going out with my friends and family more and start to go to the gym, take my son out with me on weekends...it will probably hurt our relationship more but...that’s where I’m at. If she realizes what’s going on then she will come back to us, if not I’ll find her sitting on the couch lost for hours in that stupid On-Line game. But that’s where I’m at. Thanks for reading I wish all the best. 

Good day and or goodnight 

@ SadGamerWife. It sounds like you need to work out what is right for you and not what he or anyone else tells you is 'the right thing'. Keep coming back to learn more and then you can make a plan. get some therapy if you find it hard to check in with your own feelings. Addiction messes with our minds and its hard to see things straight sometimes. You are not wrong to look after yourself .. only you can do that for yourself.

@ Artist   Thanks for sharing. It is hard to understand their crazy actions which are a product of addiction. What you say about having good times by getting about without her if she will not join you is good sense. Read about "detaching with love" linked  in the original post above. It may help you

Just had a baby a couple months ago. My husband use to play dota which was a limited time game to my understanding and never got in the way so much. Little before or while I was pregnant he downloaded World of Warcraft (WOW) and said he used to play it growing up and enjoyed it so much. Next thing I knew he plays for over 4-5 hrs daily. You can imagine how tiring it is to take care of a little baby who needs you constantly. And instead of helping out or helping me, my husband acts as if we are a bother to him and his stupid game. Writing it down already is helping me realease all these emotions and realize how this is affecting my balance, health and my whole life. I am a pretty chill an easy goin person so at first I never counted the time he was spending on wow and would just let him be and take care of everything myslef but that is not sustainable. Whenever he's on the screen he responds so angrily and sometimes even disrespectful. We've had several fights about it, in fact, I feel like that is the only reason why fight. It is so dissapointing to see him waste his life away like this and missing all the precious moments with our baby. I am really frustrated and feel defeated by this. I always say if we ever separate it will be because of that. He may change and cut back for a couple days and then right back for even longer than before. Now I have come to realize this is just like dealing with a drug addict. I appreciate any help or tips.... Thanks

Hi Artist! I am curious to hear about what happened with your wife and her gaming addiction? Did you guys worked it out? I am looking for tips or inspiring stories for a little hope

Welcome cele21

What a difficult time for you with a new baby and husband who is neglecting your needs.

My advice to you is to read the links in this kit. There is a ton of info. The kit will give you the tools and understanding on how to tackle your situation.

Firstly you are going to need support so get it from your family and friends and by giving loving care to yourself and your baby. You should not be in this situation on your own.

Everyone's journey is different and if your husband "wakes up" then it could resove itself with some effort on his part.

But this addiction can be very strong. these forum testify to many familes being blighted by gaming addiction. It doesn't stop easily. probably not what you want to hear. but in the end we have to accept a situation so that we can move on in our own way.

Hi guys! I am new here. I am at the final stages of trying to hold on to my marriage. I have been married to a severe gaming addict for 17 years. Its all he seems to care about. We have 4 kids. 3 at home who are neglected due to his gaming. I, feel very single and alone. He seemed to hit rock bottom in Feb. of 2020, and promised to change and to stop playing video games. I hate to admit, but i believe after looking up symptoms of narcissist due to his constant gaslighting, stonewalling, triangulation and projecting that I am in way over my head. I feel like i cant hold on anymore. I have begged, cried, tried to get him to hear me out and nothing ever has helped. I feel so drained and alone in this "union". I just need a listening ear or someone who has gone through the same situatin that can offer advice or can help me figure out what to do. I have no support system besides my mother, who is older generation and does not understand the struggle of this addiction. Any other spouses that are at their wits end??? 

Welcome Erica

So sorry for your suffering.

This addiction is so strong. It ruins families.

It rewires the gamers brain and can make them seem like they have a whole host of mental and personality diagnoses. The brain can recover after they quit the games for good. But that can be hard for some to achieve

Unfortunately nagging and pleading do not work and can make things worse as it makes them turn off, or turn back to the game to escape even more. It can also make them feel 'wanted' and in control.

 This thread will help you to find  more support

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/your-partner-gaming-addict-how-get

Then check out first aid kit for spouses which is linked in my signature below where it says spouse and SO's. It will give you tools to change how you are around him. The ideas come from spouses who came to the forum and gave the benefit of their experience. Pick what you think can work for you.

Take the focus off the gamer and onto yourself; give yourself the love and care you need and deserve.