Admitting My Addiction

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Mouse2112
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Admitting My Addiction

I’m not sure what to expect on this thread, I just joined today and have just yesterday admitted to my gaming addiction. Last year was the first year that I actually felt it get out of hand. 

I have been gaming on consoles for the better part of 20 years. Looking back on it I see it as time lost/opportunities missed. I would get home from school and run up to my room to play.

Now on my days off I would basically shut down my life and game until my fiance would come home from work not really realizing what I was doing.

Last year I delved into Game of Thrones Conquest that claims to be a free to play game. Turns out it was a money pit for me. The strive to be better than the other players nudges you in the direction of needing to spend to play. I would justify the purchase by saying “I’ll pay it off quick, no worries”. That feeling snowballed as I spiraled out of control. I hid these purchases from sight, I would ignore them and pay them and not look at the bill not thinking twice about who I was hurting (my family) or how damaging my purchasing really was.

This is rock bottom for me. I deleted the games and am seeking help. I have a strong motivation to stop and a strong desire to fix what I have broken and lost.

Polga
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Thank you for sharing Mouse.

Thank you for sharing Mouse. It sounds like you are starting to make changes to your life. All the best to you on your journey. You are not alone.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

Ritchy
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welcome

Welcome Mouse, sounds like you're in the right place.

Quote:

I deleted the games and am seeking help. I have a strong motivation to stop and a strong desire to fix what I have broken and lost.

You're not alone in this.  Many of us have stopped and stayed stopped and turned our lives around for the better.  The number one thing that has helped me is connection with other people working on these same things.  Listen in on some of the voice meetings and you'll hear what is working well for others.  We share experience, support, guidance, encouragement, and accountability, all of which has helped me break free of the binge/purge, resist/relapse cycles.

I hope you're able to take advantage of the help available.  You're worth it.

Ron Guidry
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Game of Thrones Conquest... The one that brought me here too.

Also a long time social gamer.  I've been into online games since the MUD's of the 90's.  Before GOTC though, I never had a problem turning it off, walking away, keeping my life priorities straight..  I started this free-to-play game in February '18.  Started with just a few of the low $1 and $5 packs.  Then I got that rush of building fast..  stronger troops..  more troops..  more research.. better equipment..  Figured I did well enough with my job, a few $100 packs wouldn't hurt much, I could pay those off fast..  then a few more..  In June of last year, after I'd maxed one credit card out at $40,000 limit is when i first started really "knowing" i had a problem, I quit the game for a month, but kept social in discord..  Read about new releases, kingdom merge.. and broke down for the first time and went back, but "I was JUST going to be a free to play playe"  noooo more packs..  until they brought out an event pack that had really great items in it..  bought it..  then another.. then another..  maxed out a 2nd credit care at $20,000 before I even realized it..  repeated that cycle again in October when I left the game again for a couple of weeks.. and went back.   Now, I've built up $80,000 in credit debt, and have spent more than $115,000 on that game.  I've been able to hang onto my job and marriage by a thread.  It's been 5 days since I logged in.. 4 days since I deleted the application, and ordered the linked Facebook account to it deleted, and deleted my Discord profile.. but it calls to me..  Discord will not actually delete the account until after 14 days, and Facebook requires a full 30 days.. just one log in and they're reactivated.  I absolutely HATE that game, and have for a long time, but that rush I get from playing it..  the adulation of other players at what I've built.  The fear of enemies that I'll attack..  I must not go back.  I am unable to play for free even though my thoughts wander that way.  I see your own post is several months old.  Hoping you've been able to stay dedicated to your own gaming sobriety.. is that even the proper term?  I don't know.  I am a gaming addict.  I will beat this.  I will recover.  I will put my own life right.

-Ron

Polga
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Welcome Ron

Welcome Ron

Thanks for sharing and glad you are here.

INFO

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Spouses/SO's of addicts click here

Parents of addicts click here for advice

Help for video game addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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