Step 1, Thread 2 - To post about Step 1, go to Step 1, Thread 5 as this post has reached it's limit of responses.

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Roscosan
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Posted on: Wed, 01/06/2010 - 1:48pm

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My name is Billy, and I have a problem.  Not so much with on-line games but console games. 

I did play on-line games starting when FFXII came out, and I would end up spending 40+ hours a week playing that.  I went through the whole routine of leveling, flirting, and playing when I wasn't even into the game, and I started missing work sometimes.  Then I got WoW and played that along with FFXII, and was still playing 40+ hours, just splitting it between the two.  I stopped playing but I kept my accounts active so that I could return when I wanted or needed to.  You know kinda like insurance.  I did eventually quite for good and I haven't touched on-line games because I know what they do to me, which is make me ignore the rest of my life.

However my real problem is video games in general.  I've been playing for as long as I can remember, and I still play hours on end.  As a matter of fact when my wife isn't around I will play the entire time.  I played a game yesterday for about 8 hours because I work early in the morning and have the rest of the day at home for the most part.  THe whole time saying, "I'll play for just another 15 mins."  and 4-7 hours later I stop.

This is something that I find myself doing all the time.  Like today I have been thinking that I will play, and making sure I stop myself because I know that it will be an all day thing if I start. 

So far, so good though.  I just hope I can hang in there.

-Billy

It is our neglect to speak out on injustice that will ruin us as a people and as a nation. We the people cannot sit and watch this politcal game go unheeded any longer. http://www.movetoamend.org

golden
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Posted on: Sat, 01/09/2010 - 8:28am

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I am powerless when it comes to gaming or doing other addictive activities like internet surfing and even just using the computer. I would set a timing on how long to play and use the computer only to end up spending even more time on it.

This means that I don't get much done in a day. I would leave all the important things aside and wait for days and weeks to complete them, I certainly can't manage my life and time well with all the time spent in front of the PC.

Denial, Drag, Slow, Aimless - My 4 sins

-Trained and Disciplined-

tenner.joshua
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Posted on: Wed, 01/13/2010 - 4:05pm

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Hello, my name is Josh.

I am addicted to all sorts of games and things.

Mostly I've recently been addicted to Shootemups and Magic: the Gathering.  I have played both online and in real life.

I have finally come to realize my powerlessness to help myself gain control of my life.  At work I come up with decklists and it affects my performance.  I spend large amounts of money to get a magic deck when I should be spending money on myself for food and clothes.

I feed off of the high I get when I play for hours, then I get irritated when I don't play. 

I am so incredibly addicted I can't believe no one told me I had a problem until I was 20 Years old.

I suffer from a slew of mental problems, mostly depression, anxiety, and Bipolar disorder and have managed to ruin my programming career by slacking off in school and playing too many games.

I am about 17 hours clean from games but will try my best to cut them out of my life.

It's time to take a stand and stay disciplined.

izyizy
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Posted on: Thu, 01/14/2010 - 9:25pm

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My addiction story is quite short. I am 15. I first played a game...   I'm not really sure when I first played. But it wasn't really a problem then. After i learned I could play any time I want as long as my mom was away, I got on the computer all the time. Also when she was asleep. At first, it was the hot-wheels games. As I got older, I got interested in strategy games like Command & Conquer. As of a year ago, I play halo 1, 2, 3, and halo wars. These games started replacing all the fun things I did. I loved to read. I played ice hockey. I had friends. And gaming was fun then. Now, it isn't my first choice of fun. But it always seemed to be the result. This is my last chance. I miss ice hockey, and if I can pull through this, then I could probably go back to playing.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

LaurelS9
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Posted on: Sat, 01/16/2010 - 4:55am

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Welcome Josh and izyizy.  I commend your honesty in admitting to powerlessness.  Me too.  The OLGA boards and the people here have been my lifeline now for just over 50 days.  I am beginning to emerge from 4+ year gaming addiction.  It is spring time in my soul...now if my body would just follow!

Keep coming back! Laurel

Tommi
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Posted on: Sat, 01/16/2010 - 5:03am

Izy,

It was great chatting with you yesterday. Incredible that you already realize your gaming is out of control. Ice hockey seems like a good idea. Who knows there are some really good scholarships available from top school for good Ice Hockey players.

Maybe thats a goal to have Mate!

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

Arcaine
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Posted on: Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:08pm

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Hello everyone, I found out the extent of my addictions a month ago. After many years of marrage my wife asked for a divorce. She couldn't stand to watch me destroy my life any longer. Looking back on things it all seems so clear, I only wish I could have seen the problem sooner. My wife was the most inportant person in my life and she was my best friend. My life seem so hollow and empty with out her.

Robk
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Posted on: Thu, 01/21/2010 - 10:24pm

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welcome Arcaine, the important thing right now is that you have realized your addiction..You are in the right place. remember that you will start heal when you quit. i'm really sorry about your marriage..i know where you are coming from. the best thing to do is fix the things you can in your life..sometimes other things get healed too, sometimes not. there are alot of great people here that will help any way they can..including me.

Rob

When there is nothing left, There is Hope

loirnoir
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Posted on: Wed, 02/17/2010 - 1:36pm

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About one and a half years ago, I read a post on a forum that said

"No matter how much you do in a (online) game, when it closes down ten years later it won't mean anything."

My mind shattered. I don't know why it happened with such an obvious statement, but when I read that I began to spiral downwards into the worst state i've ever been in. I loved gaming, it was all I had. The summer of my fifth grade year was spent on the computer for 18 hours a day. My 6th-8th grade years were spent playing World of Warcraft. And then? I couldn't stand playing a game for more than 30 minutes.

But for some reason I couldn't accept that it was time to move on, I began to spend JUST as much time as I did playing games (12+ hours) reading and researching them. There had to be a fun game out there, I needed there to be. I began to learn programming and drawing game art, but as much as I wanted there to be a game, I couldn't bring myself to put forward enough effot to MAKE one... It was much easier to download a game and play it for thirty minutes then delete it.

On top of that all my friends were gamers. I saw the excitement and enjoyment resonate through them as they played their games and I envied their ignorance.

I remain powerless.

This addiction has caused me to waste more of my life than anything else.

Loir

 

fly by night
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Posted on: Sat, 02/20/2010 - 12:15pm

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First off Loir i am glad to see you realized  your addiction ,and welcome to the site...Second off i to was envious to, seeing the people i knew sharing ,and having there blast on the game with each other.All though its tough right now for you its really a blessing in disguise.The reason being is thats were they will probably only find there joy at.. is in the game or games ,and everything else will seem bland ,and boring if there not constantly playing.At least thats how i felt when i was gaming alot.It takes time, and can be hard at times but belive me ,and the others that post here it is so worth it in the end  to fight the addiction ,and become free.There are so many different things out there to find fun, and enjoyment in besides sitting in front of a screen or tv playing for hours on end.The more you read here ,and stay away from gaming the more you will see that fact.I like to think of the addiction i had to my game was like putting all of my eggs in one basket, and not any of the other baskets of life, and family or friends basket.When there all in one basket, and not in any of the others you miss out on so much ,and who knows maybe you will get your interest back in the development of games or find something totaly different there are no limits or posibilitys in the realworld.

"It's all in your mind...Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life.If you continue to believe as you have always believed,you will continue to act as you have always acted.If you continue to act as you have always acted,you will continue to get what you have always gotten.If you want different results in your life or your work,all you have to do is change your mind." Anonymous...

Sionos
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Posted on: Mon, 02/22/2010 - 1:04pm

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I have been aware of my addiction for the past year or so, just barely getting by daily life. I get cranky if I do not get my gametime in a day, my grades are lower than ever, constant problems with my family, and I have no social life. I have felt overwhelmed, stressed, and powerless. Yes, I have made the wrong choices. I've wanted to talk to someone about it for so long but I have no friends, and my parents get too angry with me when I touch the GAME subject. I want to be in control, I want to do well in school, I want my life back! I believe have taken the first step.

Quote:

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. George Edward Woodberry

Thank you Liz for giving me hope and showing me the way.

lostboy
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Posted on: Sat, 03/27/2010 - 5:00pm

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Im not quite sure where to begin. I've been highly addicted to video games since I was about 12 years old. In highschool it wasn't a problem I could pass and play 12 hrs+ a day. I quit my job to play more games. I flunked out of college to play more games. I have anxiety and self esteem problems. I found this website by googling I Destroyed my life. I don't blame video games for any of it. But i realize now i was using them to hide from the world. I just want to wake up from this self imposed coma. I'm watching all of my friends grow up around me and I feel that im stuck in the same place I was nearly 10 years ago.

ADF_Gambler
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Posted on: Sun, 03/28/2010 - 4:11pm

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It Happens I was going through the same thing at one point in my life. I am on here due to the fact I gamble excessively Spending every dime I make. honestly gaming do 4 things to stop

1) work out
2) got out with friends
3) get a job any job
4) talk to people even though it may be awkward force it and it gets easier.

You have to want to make the change or it will nveer happen

Justin1971
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Posted on: Sat, 04/03/2010 - 8:27am

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I have just joined this site as I too realise that I'm addicted to online gaming.

I have been playing Legend:Legacy of the Dragons for almost a year now and have even managed to become a 'Guard' in the game. This involves moderating the chat and gagging them if it violates the games chat rules. I do get 'paid' for this (via game money - in this game it's gold coins) but it takes up a massive chunk of my working day. The more hours you 'work' the more gold you get. I usually attempt 20 hours a week which equates to around 4 hours per day. I also like to play the game too, so almost my whole working day 8am-5pm, is taken up with this **** game.

I have bought game money which has also got me into debt, borrowing from various online loan companies (with very large interest rates). Recently my wife has found out about all this (I never told her about any of this) and is, understandadly, absolutely furious.

I need to get out of this nighmare and also need to get my finances under control, I understand it's going to be a very hard path but am going to try my ****ed hardest this time.

Here's to a brighter future....

Justin

Newdreams
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Posted on: Sat, 04/03/2010 - 11:26am

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Hi Sionos!   Welcome to the site!  I am sorry to hear that you are addicted to gaming but I'm very glad you've found the site!  My husband is a gamer so I understand the other side of the hurting and through the years have also seen a glimpse of frustration on his part over his own habits even though he's hasn't ever truly quit. 

I'm sure it is hard and frustrating for your parents, as it is for you, and it would be nice if there was a way for you each to communicate without any friction and hurt showing up.  Did you know that on this site you can have the Administrators change things so your (original?) posts/threads will only be visible to gamers and that if you were to show your parents the site, there is support for family members of gamers too and that their posts can also be on the separate "family only" side too if so desired?  I'm sure, with them knowing you game but perhaps not being able to comprehend everything, they would find encouragement in knowing that you have reached out and would like to change.  It would help them to read from both sides of this addiction and get some support for themselves too.  I think there are a TON of people out there that need this site but wouldn't really ever thing something like it is even out there. 

I see it has been a little while since your post and hope you're still around to read this and that you keep coming back to the site for support.  If you ever feel so inclined, feel free to private message me if you'd like. 

Yes, great quote and so true!

I wish you all the best in your recovery journey!  God Bless, ND

Quote:

Sionos wrote:

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.George Edward Woodberry

Thank you Liz for giving me hope and showing me the way.

"Thorns and thistles are the way we grow. A baby eagle won't leave the nest until its mother removes the feathered bed. Not until those sharp branches poke the little eaglet does it get motivated to grow to the next level." Patrick M Morley (from one of his books)

Newdreams
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Posted on: Sat, 04/03/2010 - 11:58am

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Hi Justin and welcome!  I commend you for taking this "first step!"  Your story is similar to so many others here yet every single one is unique in nature because of family dynamics and so much more.

I can understand why your wife is furious and hope that you will both find some way of working through all this.  One tidbit of advice, from the wife of a gamer, would be to LISTEN to your wife even if she is ranting and venting, make sure she feels heard.  Don't make excuses, she may very well not understand the whole addiction, but perhaps try to explain the "why's" and reasons that drove you to all this in the first place.  I would imagine that whilst you might not have wanted to get "caught" that you are quite possibly feeling some relief that it is now out in the open.  If you feel comfortable, perhaps show her the site or maybe even just fill out the "screening tool for excessive gamers from this site (Take the Screening Below. Do YOU Think You Are an Excessive Gamer?) and let her read it.  You'll probably see a lot of nodding and hear a lot of agreeing as she does-that would be a good thing, hee hee. :) 

Quote:

Justin1971 wrote:

I need to get out of this nighmare and also need to get my finances under control, I understand it's going to be a very hard path but am going to try my ****ed hardest this time.

Here's to a brighter future....

From your post, it seems you want to be very proactive in fixing all this, I hope that is truly the case and again commend you for your efforts and joining this site too.  Remember, you and your wife will both need support and understanding and help through it all.

Keep coming back and feel free to private message me and/or others or catch us in chat if you need to talk/vent/ask questions/whatever.

God Bless, ND

"Thorns and thistles are the way we grow. A baby eagle won't leave the nest until its mother removes the feathered bed. Not until those sharp branches poke the little eaglet does it get motivated to grow to the next level." Patrick M Morley (from one of his books)

cnjayjay
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Posted on: Sun, 04/04/2010 - 2:34am

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Reading some of the posts here is making me shudder. 13 days clean of the xbox 360 after realising that the 360 was specifically the first machine ever to addict me and take my life and discipline away from me.

What Diggo said haunted me completely, but it is a truthful reality - you wake up, look in the mirror, and are stunned by what you see. The first morning after you see a tired, gaunt, thin frame of a man that stares back at you vacantly. I found out in the evening, and boxed it all up, took it into blockbuster and traded the lot - the guy said he was closing in 5 minutes and I said "I don't care, I want rid of it - have it for free if you want, but I'm not leaving this store with it". Every morning after that, you start to sleep a little better (games still get in my dreams a bit, but not as severely) and you know you've made whats probably the hardest step towards your recovery. You look in the mirror and you start to see strength and a bit of hope, and you hold on to that and don't let go.

Step 1 is difficult, so so difficult, but you can do it. If possible, talk to a friend or close associate and tell them your plan, ask them to stand by you while you do it. I was honest and told my girlfriend, to which she kissed me on the cheek and told me she'd stand with me every step of the way.

Good luck everyone

C

I quit gaming on 16 May 2011. Thank you Online Gamers Anonymous for setting me on the right path to conquering my addiction.

Helpmeplease
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Posted on: Sat, 05/01/2010 - 6:01am

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First of all, let me start out by saying this is my first time seeking help. I am not sure what to do, or what to say. I know I need help, but im afraid to seek it from doctors, mostly because im not sure they would understand. I tell myself i dont have a addictive personality, but its a lie, and i have to fess up to that and accept it to try to change. I made a huge mistake and am not sure i wil ever forgive myself. I am married and have 2 kids... and i almost lost them. Just a few days ago, i was asleep on the couch, mostly from having been up all night playing my addiction. My son took my daughter out of the house with him and down to the highway. The sheriff's departement picked them up, i found them missing a few hours later in panic. Calling 911 screaming, they told me they had my kids. I almost killed my kids... I truly am the worst parent alive. I dont deserve my kids love and never their forgiveness. Im so alone... I have been fighting the urge o play the game since that day, and each time i look a my computer I want to break it. I have since sold my online account in hopes to salvage my marriage and my life with children. I was told that was the easy way out... please... help.

Balding420Gamer
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Posted on: Tue, 05/04/2010 - 8:47pm

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Readers,

I have been a gamer since the age of 5. Gaming is in my blood. I play all the best titles. I game every day. When I'm doing nothing else, this is how I fill my time. Some say drug use is tied to the use of gaming platforms. I agree. I want to get excessively inebriated while gaming and listening to music. This is a problem. I'm incessantly on the fence. I love sports and play them often, have a job and I kick ass at it. I'm a student and I learn, test, and write well. I act well, sing well too. I want to get buff and have awesome physical relationships with beautiful women and visit the most beautiful places in the world. Gaming sometimes causes me to hold eating off until the next map, or after the mission is over. Then it is held off longer, and longer. I may very well be the body size I am because of gaming, or that I am an ectomorph, or because I don't take in enough calories or hit the gym. I make good money but if I didn't game I could make so much more, or get buff, meet and bestow myself upon beautiful women, and visit all those beautiful places. 

-B420G

Milton1105
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Posted on: Wed, 06/09/2010 - 10:59am

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I have realized for a while that I am powerless over my addiction of WoW, when I would drive up to my office in the morning telling myself that I would not play today and then convince myself just to run one daily, just a frosty, and then just a couple more dailies, and then gather some lichbloom and then I was driving home at the end of the day, having done nothing but play.

When the #$%^ hit the fan last week, and it continues now, about immigration and tax problems I finally realized the degree to which my life is unmanageable, and that I needed help to get back some semblance of control.  No, what I need is not control, what I need is my life back.

Honesty delves deep into self-loathing at the moment, and as that isn't healthy either I think that I should be honest about where I am right now and what I am doing right now.  Right now I am in serious amounts of debt, I have tons to do in order to begin working off that debt, and I amnot at all sure that I will succeed. Right now my wife has said "you have lost me." Right now my son has asked her if she can help him become different from me. Right now I am hungry and thirsty.  And scared.

Serena
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Posted on: Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:52am

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Dear Milton,

Welcome to On-Line Gamers Anonymous!

You have come to the right place at the right time and you are beginning

at Step One...perfect!  You are a real candidate for giving up playing

completely.  You have so much to do in real life and a wife and child

who know that you have a problem with video gaming.  It will do wonders

for you to stop and focus on the challenges before you in real life.  Pick

up the phone and make the calls needed to make arrangements and

resolve the immigration issues.  Tell your wife and child that you have

resolved to not play video games any more and that they are the most

important people in the world to you, and that you will strive to make

things better and that the first thing you are going to do is give away

the games, check out and not go back.  You need every waking moment

to strive ahead and restore your financial health.  You can do it!  You are

hungry and you need real food and food for thought, too.  You are scared;

you will find comfort.  Welcome to OLGA, Milton!  

Serena

Here again is the first post in this thread from 11/03/2002

because it truly bears re-posting:

ADMISSION STEP

Membership Requirement
Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

 Step 1:

We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, and that our lives had become unmanageable.

This step states the membership requirement of O.L.G.A. We use gaming to avoid our pain.
We live in a fantasy world.
We cannot cope with our real life.
Our denial kept us from seeing how powerless and unmanageable our lives had become.

We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of gaming. We must admit that we are licked as far as gaming is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot game like other people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop gaming. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from "social" gamers?

There are two parts to this step:  powerlessness and unmanageability.

Powerlessness
Powerless over our separation from our spiritual base, we use gaming to fill the void caused by that separation
Have you found yourself unable to control your online gaming?  Did you feel that you had no power to put limitations on the amount of time you spent playing?  Do you find yourself spending time in the game, even though you don't want to?  Do you find you don't have the willpower to stop playing?

Unmanageability
Has your life become unmanageable as a result of online game addiction?  Is your life out of control?  Are there areas of responsibilities that you've been neglecting as a result of playing online games?

Recovery starts by surrendering and by admitting that there is something wrong.  Not everyone who plays on-line games are addicts, but those who are addicts are the ones who have lost control -- have experienced powerlessness and unmanageability.

We had to stop fighting a Higher Power, ourselves and others.

The Solution:

Honesty 

Open-mindedness

Willingness

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez

espeed1
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Posted on: Fri, 06/18/2010 - 9:50pm

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Hey all,

Well, Im here. I tried on my own, but it seems to powerful for me. I am trying to quit again, but I need help... Nice to be here. Reading these posts, it looks like im in the right place.

mona31
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Posted on: Mon, 07/05/2010 - 12:10am

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  Hello, I am powerless over my addiciton to my gaming. i realized it has taken over my life and has cause many problems with my husband and social life. I want to quit for good. I need support on how and where to start.

mona

Tommi
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Posted on: Mon, 07/05/2010 - 3:34am

Hello Mona,

I saw your post and it interested me because I am an ex-Second Lifer and i am a 12 stepper (I believe the 12 steps as described in this site are a really effective way to lose our addictions and develop a better way of living).

Since I have recovered and RL is quite busy I am not on this site as much as I used to be. However I will share a few things which worked for me and you can always contact me here or by Private Message.

I shared my experience strength and hope on this site - told my story a bit. Honest sharing and admitting our addiction is the first step. I stopped going to SL - one day at a time. I did not delete my account or say goodbye to my friends - just left. I prayed for help and I prayed that God would help my friends still on Second Life - in other words I did what I believed was the right thing and let my Higher Power take care of the consequences.

I hope this helps. You are not alone - I and many others on this site have been through the same as you. It is not our fault we are addicted. We were born that way. It doesnt make us bad people. But we can do something about it.

Keep coming back and I will speak to you soon.

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

mona31
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Posted on: Mon, 07/05/2010 - 9:58am

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Dark,

      Thank you ver much. i appreciate it. I will keep coming back.

energized
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Posted on: Tue, 07/20/2010 - 10:32pm

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Powerless and Unmanageability in Bossier City, Louisiana.

Where to start..

I first started online gaming with Ultima Online in 1997 (I was a Sophomore in high school). I really dont know what drove me to buy that specific game, but I remember how awesome it was..

Now let me back up several more years. I have an IgE subclass 2 & 4 deficiency which in normal terms means that I used to get sick very easily and would always require antibodies to fight off viruses and whatnot. The point of this paragraph is to instill the image of me pretty much being sick all the time and staying indoors playing the intelevision, atari, NES, super.. get the picture?

Back to Ultima Online in 1997.. I played it for about 3 straight years then off and on for another 2 at which point I started shopping around for another mmorpg. I have tried them all even the free ones.

Just as recent as last week I started back up my old WoW account which is from 2004. I do not want to game anymore. I like the fact that I can get on and do what I please and make up my own 'story' if you will, but today they had alot of server maintenance going on and I sat in the computer room for 5 hours waiting for them to be done. <-- this is not healthy. I realized today that there really is a problem and it starts with me.

On top of my Warhammer online & WoW endeavours -- I am going to school to be a nurse. I have not studied like I should have. I am supposed to start clinicals this fall but 2 of my three classes this summer are C's.. My GPA has dropped... I most likely will not start clinicals. It is not the end of the world but I can make it right. And this is my step one.

Tommi
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Posted on: Wed, 07/21/2010 - 7:55am

Dear Energized,

Congratulations on your Step 1. You have admitted you are an addict.

What worked for me was just not gaming for today. Just dont game for today. Dont bother cancelling your account, deleting your characters, or saying goodbyes. Just focus on not playing today. (It will probably help to do something different than staying in front of your computer).

Here is some prose which helped me in this regard.
- dark

YESTERDAY TODAY AND TOMORROW
There are two days in every week we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word we've said - yesterday is gone.

The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, Its burdens, its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds but it will rise. And until it does,we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, live one day at a time!

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

PixelChick
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Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2010 - 2:04am

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Step 1: Honesty and Acceptance

-   Truly admitted I am powerless over gaming and that my life has become unmanageable. Accept that. I am no longer a social gamer. It is affecting my real life, and the lives of my loved ones, in a big way.

I have been a gamer all my life, yet I can truly and honestly accept that I have an addiction. I've spent countless hours in front of a TV or Computer screen, neglecting my family, my boyfriend, my dog, my education, my friends and my life. I've spent 3 days without bathing or brushing my teeth; today, I shaved my legs for the first time in over a month. I've been getting to my classes late and failed to complete my homework. My boyfriend has recently spoken to me about how he feels like a slave rather than my partner - he cooks, cleans and takes care of our dog while I sit in front of my computer screen enjoying my Second Life.

But it hasn't always been SL. I was also an avid Maple Story player during my senior year in High School and my first year of college. My boyfriend during my last year in High School “a non-gamer“ would constantly call me a loser because I liked to play games online. After we broke up, I met my ex-boyfriend in game, who was also a Maple Story addict and constantly kept teasing me about how I wasn't training hard enough and I was falling behind; "I've already leveled up twice today, but look at you!“ he would say. I felt awful, and felt like I needed to spend more time progressing in-game. There was a point where I would wake up at 6am to play and only took quick potty breaks and "afk" times to eat, still staring at the computer screen, only to fall asleep on top of my keyboard at 2am and do the same exact thing the next day.

I've been in a 2 year relationship with my current boyfriend. We met while I was still a Maple Story addict. He created an account to play online together, but after he got bored I was still online. After a while, I got bored of Maple Story and began playing The Sims. At this point my boyfriend began getting annoyed with how many hours I spent on my computer all day, often ignoring him.

And now, here I am. I play SL all day from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. Yesterday, I spent 18 hours on SL and had a fight with my boyfriend. THAT is why I'm here. He helped me realize that there are so many things that my RL needs right now, yet I choose to waste my entire day in a pixelated world. Yesterday I decided that I would regain control of my life, and this is my first step: accepting that I am an addict and finding a group of people that feel the same way.

To wrap this up, I find that it makes sense to find out what makes me so addicted to SL so that I can fix it and get on with my "real" life. So how about a comparison of SL vs RL. In RL I am a student, don't have a job and don't consider myself too attractive; I'm in a theater organization because I love arts and music, have been in long-term relationships since High School, and I live in a small apartment with my boyfriend and my dog. In SL I am a stripper/escort (hence, I have a job), I have a hotter-than-life avatar, I have a huge skybox apartment with top-notch furniture, I'm single and get tons of attention, and I'm opening my own Arts Lounge. As you can see, the reason why this pixel world is so addictive to me is because there are so many elements that I wish were a part of my RL. I wish I was hot and sexy; I like the attention that comes with being single and attractive, and flirting with whoever, whenever (in-game, that is). I like having a job and money to pay for all of my expensive clothes and my fancy apartment. Not to mention, I like feeling like I have my own business and a crowd to please.

Bottom line? For me, SL is a way to fulfill my RL desires without consequences; over a safety net.  Maybe if I work on those things in RL (getting a good job, feel more confident about myself and my appearance, spent more time flirting with my boyfriend, and kept performing to keep the arts alive in my community) my addiction to SL wouldn't be so bad. Or I could face reality and continue my adventures through SL, but never forgetting that my RL comes first.

I guess I have some thinking to do!

**HONESTY AND ACCEPTANCE? CHECK!**

.:PixelChick:.

Tommi
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Posted on: Tue, 09/07/2010 - 3:09am

Dear PixelChick,

Thanks for your share - I completely understand where you are coming from - I am a recovering SL Addict.

You can be whatever you want to be in Real Life! Don't ever underestimate the power of motivation, goals and self-improvement. If you want it you can have it. I firmly believe that. All you need is the power of self-confidence and motivation.

In my own life, when I focussed on personal change, motivation, self-improvement and self-belief I was able to achieve what was beyond my wildest dreams...then I destroyed it all wtih my SL addiction.

You know what is so pernicious about SL for people like us? It is so easy. You can live the illusion. Like you said you with a few dollars and a small amount of effort you can achieve an amazing fantasy in a very short time.

But its not real. And living the fantasy (for me at least) took effort away from RL. Real life is hard - it takes work, attention and daily effort. When I am in SL my RL gets little attention. And without attention RL begins to come apart fast.

After a couple of years in SL I woke up one day and found myself out of job, hugely in debt, and my family on the brink of destruction. I have only begun putting it all together again.

This is a great first step for you. Keep it up and focus on progress. You can have it in RL if you want - its yours for the taking.

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

tinyTim
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Posted on: Sun, 09/19/2010 - 6:28pm

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i was powerless,and spent a whole sumer just gaming my life away 13+hours, and the rest (sleep) was spent dreaming about the game!!, one day i just wanted to prove myself that i can and will stop gaming, and did a 7 day abstanance

after that i was soo bored (i was literaly doing nothing , except watching tv instead...) that i had to get online and chat...again..

thats when i got on the net to search for help..i was powerless, but knew that with some will power and a hopefully good social life (at least chatting online...not trough gaming) would definately help me quite

 

i've been 2 days now, but something still keeps me visiting game forums and managing builds for classes and statedgies and crap..even tho i already deleted the games i used to play!!

my problem is going out and socialising:S..gaming made me shy..and i became even a laughing stock at one point in the real world, wich in return completely immersed me into gaming further more...cos i tought that was the only thing i was good at :(

any help on how i can overcome the addictions and/or improve my now long lost social life?,,any suggestions would be apreciated.

 

one's only competition is oneself

tinaheald
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Posted on: Mon, 09/20/2010 - 11:00am

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Hello

I am addicted to online gaming.  I have neglected my family, home, hobbies, and friends. :(  I want to STOP! I am powerless it seems. :( Very sad. It is depressing.

Tommi
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Posted on: Mon, 09/20/2010 - 11:29am

Hello Tiny,

There are no magical cures I regret to say. It may be that you, like many were driven to gaming because of poor socialization skills and lack of friends and social life. While gaming these few skills deteriorated further, so here you are. Without gaming you feel you have nothing much left in life.

This is a real problem, because day to day life requires us to put effort into it. Any area of one's life that one is dissatisfied with, such as ones financial situation, education, career prospects, athletic ability, et (the list can be endless) requires time and effort to improve these. Please believe me when I say you can improve any area of your life if you want to - it just takes time and effort to do this. A quick surf of the web will yield pages of information about courses, self help guides and instructions on how to improve these areas. Some are scams but many are not. Also you will find many examples of people with disadvantages who have overcome adversity. The ability of humans to improve and rise above their situation seems boundless.

But if you are gaming you are doing none of the above. If you are like me 90% of your waking hours are spent either gaming or thinking about gaming. And not on the above. It is an escape, it is not real, and it does nothing for you. It was bad enough for me - and I have a lifetime of skills and experience to fall back on. You are 17 and are at the prime of your life, when you should be working on improvement. On skills and talent which will serve you for your whole life.

So first I suggest you stop gaming. Second - make a plan which will begin to help improve your life and address your shortcomings. It is not going to happen overnight. Patience my friend.

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

tinyTim
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Posted on: Mon, 09/20/2010 - 11:59am

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thanks dark:)

i had decided to stop cold turkey before i fell on this site, but found it a lil hard , i mean i spent 6days a week playing 18hours a day, and once (saturdays) around 12 hours, and it was the only day i used to go out...

the hard part is not just the quiting gaming, but its the time i no longer spend on games, and i have literally no idea what to do:S..

i started doing a lil joging and watch tv and all, try to remove my mind off games ...but boredom just led back to gaming :(...

its been 2 days or so now...but its extremely hard not to look back and completely let go:S...

as i said..i still visit forums and all..even tho i even deleted the games from my computer...i just cant make myself say no ..for some reason :S

one's only competition is oneself

John of the Roses
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Posted on: Mon, 09/20/2010 - 3:47pm

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Dont visit the game forums, stop it!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

bhubbha
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Posted on: Thu, 09/30/2010 - 6:51am

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My work is suffering from my escape into kdice or just wasting time on the internet to avoid having to do actual work and get things done.  It seems I want to have fun and get instant gratification rather than work hard to reap the long term benefits.  

Tommi
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Posted on: Sat, 10/02/2010 - 2:01am

Dear Need,

I am hearing your 'cry for help'. I will offer you the following suggestions as one who has been there and done that.

Come here to Olga and find a new group of friends and forum. This one has a higher purpose and we always require more people with good recovery to help.
- new desperate addicted gamers and family members come here every day and reach out for help

Are you really serious when you tell us that maintaining a forum forum for 150 strangers, gamers, is more important than a) your own mental health health and stability b) the welfare and happiness of your partner and family?

Please step back from your compulsion for just one minute and see how ridiculous this appears in the cold grey light of morning. It is not my intention to denigrate you in any way, only to help you get the wake-up call the you need.

Please feel free to PM or email me.

- dark
 

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

Ariadne
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Hi Need, welcome to OLGA.  I hear how important you believe the forum is.  But..if you want to and need to get back to our real life, then give 2 weeks notice, then leave the forum.  2 weeks will be plenty of time for them to get used to the idea and for someone potentially to step up.  I think your mistake is that you feel you have an obligation to keep 150 people happy.  You don't.  That's coming from some dark place in you only.  Your obligation is to your family.  These people will get over it when the forum is gone.  Softwares come and go, websites and forums come and go.  People miss them a bit or a lot and then move on.    Maybe you'll be actually helping them get back to their real lives and families too.  But your issue is you and your family, not them.

Ariadne~
Letting go again - Change is never easy, I fight to hold on, and I fight to let go.

William22
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what did yuor recovery process take? u mention ur reframing whats important in your life i need to do that. what exactly did you do/ where are you now? where were you before? what made you change? andwhat did u go through to reach where you are now from where you once was?

PurpleHope
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Has anyone around here been addicted to wow? Or dota, or Hon or starcraft? At one moment i was addicted to wow, while by bf of all the above.. Those games are really something..

gsingjane
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Hello Purple,

Please browse through our forums, especially the "I need help for gamers" forum.  You will find many, many, many stories of people who have been addicted to the games you mention.

Jane in CT

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I AM addicted to Starcraft 2 and I try to quit, thats why I joined this forum and search for help here. I really would like to re-gain freedom that I lost but I simply cant. I feel powerless I feel like I have no more powoer over my addiction. It seems stronger than me. I can admit that I am powerless but what that will help? How it will change my behaviour, how it will change the way I feel- that is what I am looking for - for something which will change the way I feel. And I dont think about drugs... Im looking for a way out of the pain of the addiction. Cause we are all suffering here....

namo.bhagavate
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Dear all,

I am today taking my first step. I have suffered from addiction for 25 years - started around 1985 when I left home to be in my undergraduate dorm in India, where I would play carrom and a few years later bridge... I was only 16 or 17 then. At that time it affected my grades.. but somehow I would miraculously work at the right time and escape from "totally flunking"... Same continued when I then came to the US as a graduate student doing my masters and then during my PhD. Graduate school had so much flexibility that I could get away with playing till 3am every night and still do the research in the day time. This continued when I was a scientist after my PhD - this was the time I got married.. and then again through all my jobs since 1995. Yes .. there are phases where I have been fully free, but recently it has become really bad!!! Now it hurts a lot because I have two very beautiful children who crave my attention and a wife who is an absolute angel, and yet I keep playing card games - I hate bridge now but I still play.. What is remarkable is also that so far by all measures I am HIGHLY successful, but it feels often like a house of cards - with my profligate behavior this **** can catch-up with me sometime.. Scary thing is now I started to play at work, and this Friday night I am at work at 11pm playing.. freaking insane! I have a huge backlog of expenses to do, so many home responsibilities.. it is killing me that I play this useless, worthless game. I hate it so much it is not funny, but strangely keep coming back for more punishment

Truly the one great thing that has happened to me because of my addiictions is that I have sought out spirituality for relief.. and in that process I discovered SO much love that I had never felt before. I attended the Art of Living course which when I practiced regularly helped me overcome it *completely*, but then I stopped being regular

I REALLY want to quit this for good .. yes, I do feel powerless and I seek the blessings of the divine to overcome this... I seek total freedom from the attraction of the mind which is not my true nature.. I know I am capable of a LOT and am eagar to maximize my potential and give all the love and care to all around me. I will get back to Art of Living techniques and fully overcome this.. I know I can..

Lots of love,

Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

Cheers,

- Freedom Seeker

db2008
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Posted on: Thu, 11/11/2010 - 5:08pm

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Hello everyone,

I'm 36 years old and I have a real problem. I work 50+ hrs a week and take a full load of classes online. When I have free time, I know there is stuff I should be doing. Like helping my wife with the house cleaning and such. But I don't. I just sit in front of the computer. I do not play WoW anymore. I stopped that. But I have online forums that I am part of that I continually are at that are associated with an online game.

When I'm not doing that, I'm like a junkie with the Facebook games. I will play for hours and lose track of time. Even now my marriage is having difficulties because I cannot use my time wisely. She has been patient with me but it's really starting to strain things. I just need to stop with all of the online junk and start doing the things that I need to be doing. I really want to quit this but i'm having real difficulties.  

BeFree
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You came to the right place db this is where we begin to work on our recovery. I too am on the first step and gaming is affecting my relationship with my manfriend.

My goal is to get unpluged, take my life back and live away from the pc. First I need the support this website offers to get through the early withdrawal phase. Gradually I know I'll start doing other stuff but for now I really need you and everyone else.

I am powerless over gaming and my life has become unmanageable.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Hacks
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Posted on: Sat, 11/13/2010 - 1:31am

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Step 1:

I am at the mercy of video games.  They bring me a great joy, they are wonderful entertainment, but it is fleeting.  Its all a mirage.  The accomplishments and challenges are trivial in every sense of the word.  Time is so precious-- its really the most precious thing I have... and I willingly throw it away.

 

Gaming has damaged my life and I know it.  I knew it 10 years ago.  I've tried to be moderate in my gaming, I've tried to stop, but I always end up back in the same hole.  And each time it seems the pit is that much deeper.

 

-- There Is No Spoon --

Tommi
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Posted on: Sun, 11/14/2010 - 7:38am

Dear Need,

It was astonishing to me that it is possible to have physical withdrawal symptoms from quitting gaming. I dont understand why that is, and I am sure there is a plausible medical explanation.

But that is not so important. I know I had them, I know others who have as well. We just have to get through them. I promise you it gets better. For me, after a week, the physical symptoms left me. But it was another 6 weeks or so before the compulsion to game started to lift.

If you are an addict like me, then you just have to get through it.

Sincerely,

- dark

Olga/non member since Dec. 2008 Check out my latest video on Gaming Addiction and public awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-6JZLnQ29o

sentient02970
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Posted on: Thu, 11/18/2010 - 1:26pm

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Hey Everyone,

I just now signed up to OLGA here today.  Thanks!

I should share right away that I (finally) woke up to my problem this week.  I've been an avid Xbox gamer since 2005 (and an off and on PC gamer before that).  At 40, with 4 kids (two at home), coming off a lengthy bout of depression, and a "close call" to a divorce, I've now sunk into a spiral of gaming addiction (which my wife has consistently warned me about but I've always denied or never noticed).  My past 2 years with Modern Warfare 2 seems to have hit my wife's limit finally.  The other night, after telling her I'd turn off Netflix after my show ended and come up to bed...instead, without even thinking, I started up a MW2 match (intending to be quick).  10 minutes in my wife confronted me, I got angry and then suddenly desperate...WHAT HAVE I DONE???  I suddenly, right there, discovered I have a problem.  That night I disconnected the xbox and put it away.  I've not touched it in 3 days.  The desire is there, still, but the fear of its consequences has kept me away from it.  I also have to repair a (once again) damaged marraige.

Now that I've found others here with similar issues, I'm ready to continue this journey and get on with my life, or what's left of it and maybe save a marraige (or what's left of that as well).  Thanks so much for the opportunity to share and listen.

Brian

Silvertabby
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Posted on: Tue, 11/23/2010 - 7:27pm

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I've been playing online games for 5+ years, playing 12+ hours a day 7 days a week.  I've read about gaming addiction but really never wanted to admit I was addicted.  I now admit it and have been powerless to stop playing until yesterday.  I uninstalled all my games, got rid of my accounts and am now going to try to get my life back. 

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

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Posted on: Tue, 11/30/2010 - 4:34pm

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I have been gaming online since I was 15 years old (I'm 27 now), I came to it out of a difficult social situation (got mobbed at school) and it has ever since been my escape from social anxiety. I'm hooked to a point where I cannot stop by myself, where even now that I have not gamed for more than three months, when I think about any of my games, immediately after comes the thought of how nice it would be to return to that. I could spend days!! merely dreaming of games, day dreaming about the levels, the skills, the equipment. While I recognise that I learned quite a bit especially in the early years of gaming... I learned most of my English (not my first language) in MUDs, text based roleplay games, I even got some insights into the power structures of the world as they were replicated into those games on a smaller scale, I learned some programming since I helped build rooms for those early games. Even those early games were addictive to me, but the world of MMORPGs has been too much. It has gotten out of control, out of my control. I have tried to stop before and relapsed after a few weeks, now again I tried to stop and after three months of no multiplayer online games (not even the text ones) I went back for a few hours and realised this is not the way I imagined it when I went and locked my pc in our basement three months ago, when I cried to my boyfriend that I had given up a whole world, when I wrote to my online friends to use my accounts and stuff for themselves and NOT wait for me or even hope for me to come back because it would mean I failed. When I took my pc back out of the cellar, I wiped Windows off and installed Ubuntu just so I couldn't play the MMO that I was last playing (it definetely does not work in Ubuntu even with wine and whatnot, yes obviously I looked into that :/)... at least not without wiping my Ubuntu, installing Windows and then the game itself... which is several hours that I can spend thinking of just how addicted I am to do this for a game. And now, just a few days ago I found myself logging onto one of those early games, the text ones... there really is no safeguard against them, even on the slowest computers without a GUI you can play those little devils. Once I start with those again, at least right now I am absolutely certain it's a month, perhaps two, perhaps half a year but in the end, I'll be back to the MMOs. I cannot control myself when it comes to gaming.

It nearly cost me my Bachelor and it definetely cost me my Master's degree since I cancelled my studies and am now looking for a job, simply because I know I have too much time at hand during the studies.

I have neglected my friends, even the two I used to live with for several years, I hardly called them, barely went to visit for a weekend or two. I have neglected my family which was easy enough because they live 700km away, I felt annoyed when any of them called, even my brothers who I absolutely adore, I felt annoyed because it interrupted my gaming. I have neglected to attend to my brother who has had a severe mental disorder for years now and I could cry when I think about the times I could have been there for him and was not, the times I put off calling him or reaching out to him, hell he's more of a help to my life which is peanuts compared to his than I am to him.

I have ignored my bad health, I sat for days from morning to night with my legs folded under my body... I already had bad knees when I started out, it has not helped. I got bad teeth and gaming helped me ignore the fact, I'll admit though I have an uncontrolled fear of dentists which chips into that. I lost weight and although it was still fairly normal my general condition was so bad that I could hardly get up to our apartment without wheezing... I used to love endurance sports.

And one of the biggest chips gaming has taken out of me is self confidence, I am a social wreck, I was never much of a talker, much of a socialiser even before I started gaming but sitting day in and day out in front of the screen (even with Teamspeak on) has nibbled away at the little confidence and social abilities I have (strangers scare me). It left me insecure to the point where I would take an mp3 player to go shopping and listen to loud music or an audio book so I could endure the walk to the shop and the shopping itself without melting to the size of a peanut on the inside out of shame and anxiety. The reason I could still keep a student job at a large firm was because a very relaxed friend of mine - whom I am secretly very thankful for being so very relaxed and chaotic that I did not feel bad about myself around him (I would feel positively silly telling him that) - got me that job and we worked in the same office.

Those are the impacts gaming has taken on my life and for the last three months I have slowly started to work on them.

I do not expect anyone to read this novel of a post, the reason it got so long is that I wanted to be honest with myself with this first step out of the twelve. Knowing it's out there to come back and haunt me if I fail might restrain me at some point ;).

Gamer since 1998, last day of MMORPGs Aug 23rd, last day of any computer games Nov 27th 2010.

alanmac
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Last seen: 13 years 2 months ago
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Joined: 12/16/2010 - 12:58pm
Posted on: Fri, 12/17/2010 - 10:36am

IP: 70.88.15.57

This is my first week... I've admitted that I am powerless & that my life has become completely unmanageable but, that was only after a swift kick in the head from my wife. Thank you my love for doing that as you have opened my eyes.  I've been addicted to Mafia Wars for 1.1/2 years and since I am so dang competetive I thought that I just had to keep building up the game character no matter what... I spent money and neglected my wife and kids over this stupid game... Step One Down... I just hope that I can undo all the damage that I have done and that my wife will eventually trust me again because I have decieved her... So disappointed in myself and I am changing for myself because I have allowed this game to control my life. NO MORE!!!!

I think I can safely say that step 2 & 3 are being worked on right now... =)

Phil 4:13 "For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

Let the healing begin!!

-Alan

Al

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