Step 1, Thread 4 - To post about Step 1, go to Step 1, Thread 5 as this post has reached it's limit of responses.

159 posts / 0 new
Last post
Aryianna
Offline
Last seen: 13 years 3 hours ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/21/2002 - 12:05pm
Step 1, Thread 4 - To post about Step 1, go to Step 1, Thread 5 as this post has reached it's limit of responses.

To post about Step 1, go here: Step 1 - Thread 5 To read what others have shared about Step 1, go here:  Step 1 - Thread 1 and Step 1 - Thread 2 and Step 1 and Thread 3 and  Step 1 - Thread 4.

Posted on: Sun, 11/03/2002 - 8:37pm
Posted by Aryianna
Posts: 248
Joined: 2002-10-21
[OLGA Member]

Step 1:  We admitted we were powerless over our game addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable

Principles - Honesty and Acceptance

ADMISSION STEP

Membership Requirement

This step states the membership requirement of O.L.G.A. We use gaming to avoid our pain.
We live in a fantasy world.
We cannot cope with our real life.
Our denial kept us from seeing how powerless and unmanageable our lives had become.

We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of gaming. We must admit that we are licked as far as gaming is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot game like other people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop gaming. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from "social" gamers?

There are two parts to this step:  powerlessness and unmanageability.

Powerlessness
Powerless over our separation from our spiritual base, we use gaming to fill the void caused by that separation
Have you found yourself unable to control your online gaming?A  Did you feel that you had no power to put limitations on the amount of time you spent playing?A  Do you find yourself spending time in the game, even though you don't want to?A  Do you find you don't have the willpower to stop playing?

Unmanageability
Has your life become unmanageable as a result of online game addiction?A  Is your life out of control?A  Are there areas of responsibilities that you've been neglecting as a result of playing online games?

Recovery starts by surrendering and by admitting that there is something wrong.  Not everyone who plays on-line games are addicts, but those who are addicts are the ones who have lost control -- have experienced powerlessness and unmanageability.

We had to stop fighting a Higher Power, ourselves and others.

The solution:

  • Honesty
  • Open-mindedness
  • Willingness

Members, feel free to share your experience, strength and hope on this subject by replying to this thread.

Some of you have asked that I start off the discussion, since you really don't know how to go about sharing or what to share, so here goes.

Powerlessness as it related to my gaming meant that I was unable to log off at times that I had set for myself. A Often I would end up playing past 4:00 a.m. and had to get up around 8:30 a.m. to be at work. A Now I can't tell you whether it was the game or the guy who's part of my story (some of you know my drama story) that kept me logged on that long, but the point I'm trying to make is that at times I had no control over how long I would stay in the game.

As a result of my powerlessness (to control how long I would stay logged), my life had become unmanageable.  To this day, I still have a stack of mail that I need to get through and sort.  I had neglected bills, returning phone calls, going out with friends, appointments with friends for the game.

It's important for me to see my lack of control and the resulting unmanageability that followed in my life.  By admitting both, I am able to do something about my problem.

Okay, your turn!

 

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Posted on: Fri, 07/08/2011 - 8:54pm

IP: 71.177.194.165

Dimant249 wrote:

I tried today and talked to my parents about it, and to refuse me if I ask to sign up again. I let them know I'm

Quote:

going to need some help sometimes and asked them if they can help me by keeping me occupied(Bike rides, books, etc.)

My stepdad gave me a book today and I already read over fifty pages :). It seems that reading was another one of the activities I dropped when I started gaming.

I found reading to be wonderful for me. I got a Kindle and now have a ton of books I can look at.

____________________________________________

Game free since June 1, 2011

"Wisdom is knowledge you learn after you know it all."
(Wisdom of the Rooms, Copyright @ 2011 Michael Z)

lizwool
lizwool's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 days 14 hours ago
AdministratorBoard MemberGrandparentOLG-Anon memberWebmaster
Joined: 06/27/2002 - 1:13am
Posted on: Sun, 07/10/2011 - 10:52pm

Posted by Blue_Wolf
Posts: 14
Joined: 2011-07-09
IP: 66.220.179.213

 

Five years is how long the games have been stealing my life. Still the game is eating away at my life. I want out of this life that I have made for myself unknowingly. I want to live again and to be myself, not the characters that I Play. I want to stop stealing the life that God has given me and to do some thing with my life. I want to and need to stop playing these games.

I knew for a very long time that I needed to stop. I tried many times in order to stop, but I always went back to the games about a week later. The only way I was able to last so long was by sleeping most of the time. The times I was not asleep I was either watching T.V or surfing the internet.

My life out side of the games is nonexistent. I only have a few friends that I have not talked to in over a year. The only friends I do have are in the games. Even though they are my friends online, I do not feel contected to them.

Actually, I don't feel contected to any thing, not even the games I play. I feel as if I am just drifting in life and not really living. I guess that is why I play so that I do not have to think about or feel that I am not living. At least, I think that is the reason I play now.

I am hoping that with support I can stop altogether and this time for good. I want to start living my life through myself and not through games. I am powerless to my gaming addiction.

Edit:

After thinking back on all the years I have lost, I realized that it was more then five years. Five years ago is when the addiction got really bad. I started games off still in school in 2004, but the gaming issue was not very serious back then. I was still able to get good grades and do other things in school.

Liz Woolley

LaurelS9
LaurelS9's picture
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 11/29/2009 - 5:03pm
Posted on: Thu, 07/14/2011 - 7:00pm

IP: 98.185.141.109

I hear a good clear 1st step in your post, Blue_Wolf, and am happy to hear it. Have you gotten out of the games yet? What are you going to do?

We will support you here at OLGA to the best of our ability...and thanks for opening yourself to the possibilities of recovery.

____________________________________________

"If religion be the cause of disunity, then irreligion is surely to be preferred." ~~'Abdu'l-Baha

 

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Posted on: Mon, 07/11/2011 - 1:38am

IP: 71.177.194.165

We definitely support you. Time to get out of the house and do some real life activities. Get lots of sleep. Contact some friends.

Keep a journal (I've found that talking to a journal helps me a great deal with healing my inner wounds). Don't forget, we've hurt outselves (perhaps not knowing what we were doing), and we need to heal.

*hugs*

____________________________________________

Game free since June 1, 2011

"Wisdom is knowledge you learn after you know it all."
(Wisdom of the Rooms, Copyright @ 2011 Michael Z)

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Posted on: Mon, 07/11/2011 - 1:00pm

 

IP: 71.177.194.165

Powerlessness

Powerless over our separation from our spiritual base, we use gaming to fill the void caused by that separation

Have you found yourself unable to control your online gaming?

Yes, tried many times during 2009 and 2010 to stop, moderate or be casual. didn't work.

Did you feel that you had no power to put limitations on the amount of time you spent playing?

Yes. Often put myself on a strict routine of casual playing; but ended up spending MORE time playing.

Do you find yourself spending time in the game, even though you don't want to?

Yes, 3 am or 4 am would wake up, be agitated, then log in game to see something, do something, or start another character.

Do you find you don't have the willpower to stop playing?

I do not have the willpower on my own. I couldn't quit gaming until I found OLGA.

Unmanageability

Has your life become unmanageable as a result of online game addiction?

Yes, spent too much money on new computers, gaming keyboards, gaming mouse, new games (when the main game got boring), new toys from the game, transferring toons from one server to another, changing factions, changing game equipment, buying another account to help a gaming "friend".

Is your life out of control?

Not anymore thanks to OLGA and quitting gaming, one day at a time. But it was. The game controlled me, as did alcohol and cigarettes at one time.

Are there areas of responsibilities that you've been neglecting as a result of playing online games?

Family, health, lifestyle, happiness, friends.

____________________________________________

Game free since June 1, 2011

"Wisdom is knowledge you learn after you know it all."
(Wisdom of the Rooms, Copyright @ 2011 Michael Z)

Tai
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/11/2011 - 5:16pm
Posted on: Mon, 07/11/2011 - 7:05pm

 

IP: 98.69.151.81

Well Its always been hard for me to quit gaming. This is the first day for me to start. I always been the gamer of the family. I always would be on the computer gaming like byond and others. This is hard for me to admit to but i have a problem. Its been since nintendo had invented the game boy. Im Just a teenager with a problem. I dont knwo what else to say but today starts the first day for me.

- New Member

Tai

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Posted on: Mon, 07/11/2011 - 9:39pm

 

IP: 71.177.194.165

Grats Tai! Keep coming back, check the schedule for online meetings. Check the posts and write your own posts about how you are doing. We're here to help :)

____________________________________________

Game free since June 1, 2011

"Wisdom is knowledge you learn after you know it all."
(Wisdom of the Rooms, Copyright @ 2011 Michael Z)

shadowdragoon66
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 2 weeks ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/12/2011 - 8:16pm
Posted on: Tue, 07/12/2011 - 10:09pm

 

IP: 97.113.47.253

I admit that I have a problem with gaming. It used to be all I ever did and it even got me kicked out of the Air Force amongst other things. Now I am seeking help to regain control of my life. I hope to, when I come out of this, to be able to limit myself on the time I play games if I ever decide to play them anymore. I could never control my gaming, I would sit down to play and then next thing I know 6 hours have passed. All in all I hope to be able to make up for lost time.

hierophantis
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/05/2011 - 4:42pm
my name is theodor and iam

my name is theodor and iam an addict , im clean from drugs for 13 years , and from games 5 days

im maried 7 years with 5 years old boy , my wife he wants to devorse me before 4 years and then i stop , now i start play 4 months and i have 1 accident with my son ... that is the bell for me , the games kill my spirit ,and my family ... i will stay away from games ....

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Welcome!  Come to our

Welcome! Come to our meetings:

http://www.olganon.org/?q=calendar

Not sure where you are, but it's 7pm Pac time, 10pm EST, etc.

dwilliam
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 5 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/20/2011 - 2:32pm
Powerlessness... Wow, that

Powerlessness...

Wow, that is a big one to admit. But I am sure that I fit the bill.

I began gaming this last time, setting limits for myself to prevent it from going overboard. Gradually over the past 5 years I have removed those limits from myself and at the time I quit I was playing 6-10 hours/day. I let my gaming interfere with my love life, my social life, and my school. To compound the difficulty I hid the fact that I was gaming from my girlfriend (now wife) and continued to game throughout the course of our relationship. I have cycled through so many different types of games that it has become ridiculous. I endangered myself through illegal downloading, risking prosecution, fines, and other goodies lumped onto me.

I quit my gaming on 07/20/2011 but I still feel the pull of it everyday. Because of it I continued to lie to my wife and have placed myself on the verge of divorce. Now I am seeking the help of anyone and everyone who is willing to support me as I struggle to cope with my issues and develop a real life for myself. Something that involves being what I pretended I was, or maybe even better.

Game free since July 20, 2011
Honest since September 4, 2011

LaurelS9
LaurelS9's picture
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 11/29/2009 - 5:03pm
Hi dwilliam.  Sounds like

Hi dwilliam. Sounds like you're in the right place. I'm hoping you can get the marriage back on track and the best bet for this is the steps, imo. I think you're off to a very good start.

Addiction is a progressive malady and will likely never be manageable by anyone who is highly addicted. I know I can never game again and am willing to let it go for the sake of healthy family and hope for a better service in the real world.

Holler if you need support. There are meetings in the chat room every night at 10 p.m. eastern time...and other meetings as per the meeting schedule. You'll find that fellowship with other recovering gamers is very healing.

Whopperle
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/16/2011 - 10:16am
Hi. My name is Patrick and I

Hi. My name is Patrick and I am an addict.

When I start playing I just think to myself: "Ok, just one game and then I will continue to write my paper." When the first game is over, I'll go like: "Ok, just one more." This usually goes on until midnight. Then I would call it a day and say to myself but tomorrow I'll work on my paper. From that point I would continue until 4 a.m. or even longer.

I tried to uninstall all games I had on my PC and just ended up installing another one maybe just a few days later.

I admit that I am powerless and hope I could start handling that.

Forexal
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/30/2011 - 9:22am
I have been addicted to

I have been addicted to video games since I was four, and online games since I was thirteen. I guess i played them to get away from everything, my dads death when I wass ten and being picked on all my life. I'm turning eighteen in february and need to get rid of this addiction, I accept I'm addicted and even though I love video games, I now know my life is wasting away... I played runescape 2004 - 2009 , halo 3 for one month on xbox live achieving highest rank... and now I'm addicted to minecraft.

Ross Andrew Mckellar

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Forexal wrote: I have been
Forexal wrote:

I have been addicted to video games since I was four, and online games since I was thirteen. I guess i played them to get away from everything, my dads death when I wass ten and being picked on all my life. I'm turning eighteen in february and need to get rid of this addiction, I accept I'm addicted and even though I love video games, I now know my life is wasting away... I played runescape 2004 - 2009 , halo 3 for one month on xbox live achieving highest rank... and now I'm addicted to minecraft.

Welcome! you might try asking on the website for a sponsor or recovery buddy to help you through the recovery. Recovery from gaming is a challenge, but worth it. Good luck!

phdchristmas
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/30/2011 - 10:41pm
I started gaming after i got

I started gaming after i got in trouble with the law as a minor.

Gaming kept me indoors and out of trouble and it was a very cheap hobby compared to going out weekend nights with real friends and far less risky, especially when being on probation. After 1 year probation i was still gaming away, i felt like i had found a "healthy" hobby compared to stuff i used to do. I felt even more satisifed with all my friends calling me "not human" "impossible" "pro" in the games that we played together. For a while it was good then my academics began to suffer severely and continued for 6 years after i graduated High School and never attended college.

I've been going from minimum wage job to the next for 6 years. I've been unemployed for almost 6 months and i keep putting off going back to school and finding a job because "i just need this last piece of gear" and i really enjoy the company of the players i play with.

I've lost my independence, ive moved back into my dad's place and i see how much hes struggling and ive made the decision that i want to help him and i will be enrolling back into school so i can get on with my life so i can play a game and not make a life out of it.

Silvertabby
Silvertabby's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 month 1 week ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
Hi phdchristmas and welcome

Hi phdchristmas and welcome to Olga. In your post you said "so i can play a game and not make a life out of it." Unfortunately, for those of us that are addicted to gaming, playing a game in moderation is impossible. I would love to be able to game moderately, but when I try, it just takes over and I can't (or don't want to) stop playing. I had to stop playing all games with the attitude that I can never game again in order to stop once and for all, and most likely you will have to do that as well.

If that's what you decide you want, this website is a wonderful resource. Read posts, post, and come to meetings. It's not easy to quit gaming, but if you want to have any kind of a life, it's what you have to do. Good luck.

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

vicciv
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/03/2011 - 11:55am
I have just started.  I

I have just started. I only admitted the problem to my therapist on Saturday that I have a problem. (I didn't intend to tell her -- it just popped out.) I'm not much of an online gamer. I play games on my computer for hours though.

Powerlessness

I don't go to sleep. Instead, I spend my time with my computer playing hidden object, card, and time management games. I start as soon as I get home and sometimes play until 3:00-4:00 in the morning. I tell myself to stop, but I don't.

Unmanageability

I keep playing until I can no longer keep my eyes open. I miss taking my medication because I don't want to leave the games. I'm so tired that I lose focus at work. I've had a minor problem for years, but it has gotten much worse in the past year and a half. I don't do laundry. I don't eat. I forget to give my dog water. It's awful and I can't seem to get it under control.

After I saw my therapist on Saturday, I stopped cold turkey. I moved all my game icons off my desktop and buried them. I have about 125 games currently on my computer. I don't have enough will power to delete them, but I made them a lot harder to get to. It was very difficult to not play yesterday.I don't want to slip, but I'm afraid I will.

I need help. I want help.

Silvertabby
Silvertabby's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 month 1 week ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
Hi vicciv and welcome to

Hi vicciv and welcome to Olga. Wow, congratulations on realizing you have a problem with gaming and are trying to do something about it. This is the first step to living a game-free life. First of all, I would highly encourage you to read about withdrawal symptoms here: http://www.olganon.org/?q=game_addiction_withdrawal_symptoms You will go through them and it is helpful to know what to expect.

The next thing I would encourage you to do is come here and read posts alot and post how you are feeling. It really helps. We've all been through what you're going through so we totally understand where you're at and believe me, we sympathize with you. We all know how hard it is to quit, but we're doing it with the help of each other's support and encouragement. Good luck to you!

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

Elyx
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/04/2011 - 8:48pm
Hey folks. new to this board

Hey folks. new to this board too, I feel that im in step 1 right now. have another post here (put it up before I read this thread). But the short and skinny is yeah i can't control it. It's difficult at times to see this in the same light as other destructive addictions....until you wake up to the reality that it's destroying you. and yeah...I'ts destroying me. it's a slow death. a very quiet one (unlike alchoholism, which isn't quiet, but it can certainly hide).

Didn't notice that i had a problem with it until i looked aroud one time, and wondered why I couldn't do all the things i had planned to do...everything from getting healthy again to stuff as simple as cleaning up my bedroom. or being frustrated at the mess on the kitchen counters, but rather then cleaing it going back to the game and promising myself id do it as soon as.....

Whe I realized I wanted to quit, I promised myself that I wasnt' goign to play anymore. after 3 different attempts to do this halfway (I'll just not play...or Ill just delete the program from my computer...yeah that will work), I've come to realize that I can't quit. I may be dense, But i eventually figure out that banging my head against the wall hurts. today i deleted the programs, cancelled all my accounts. all my gaming boxes are in a garbage bag, now i just need to figure out if i should just throw them away, or have a bonfire.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Welcome Elyx.  I'm so glad

Welcome Elyx. I'm so glad you are here.

I didn't decide to do anything with the games until I was ready to. During the first week of withdrawals I deleted everything on my computer that was game-related including the games and the websites about the games. I also trashed all the hard copies and folders of gaming information.

It wasn't until about 3 months that I trashed the game boxes. That's what I needed to do, but some people do it sooner or later. It depends on the person and the energy and strength you have at the time. Sooner than 3 months was too much for me, the withdrawals took all my energy. But at 3 months I was ready to give it all up to the trash bin. By that time real life was much more enjoyable and I felt much stronger.

Keep coming back! And good luck. Check out the meetings too.

Silvertabby
Silvertabby's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 month 1 week ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
Congratulations, Elyx, on

Congratulations, Elyx, on making the decision to quit once and for all! I love your statement "it's a slow death. a very quiet one". This is so very true and it's killing us without our even realizing it, and not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. I'm so glad you made the decision to quit. But be prepared...it's not easy. You will go through withdrawal symptoms so check out this post to see what you might experience: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/4974

If you can, try to attend some of the meetings. We have one every night at 10 pm EST in the chat room. They are very helpful and it's nice to talk to other people who understand what you're going though. There are others throughout the week as well, some on Skype. Click the Meeting tab above to see them all. Good luck to you!

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

corsava
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 7 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/11/2011 - 4:16am
Looking back at things, I've

Looking back at things, I've realized that from 5th grade, my gaming has became a negative influence on my life so far.

I admit that the time between 5th grade and 11th grade could have been spent better. I was an obese kid back then, and I didn't have any friends. My self esteem was low. Instead of dealing with these problems, I hid behind the fantasy of computer games. I felt that I was powerless to computer games. I could play for hours without noticing the time passing by. The only healthy friendships I made were in 8th grade, they played WoW with me.

This gaming addiction resulted in my mismanagement of life. I had no goals and priorities in life. I neglected household responsibilities, and I didn't get involved in any afterschool activities during middle school.

Right now I am taking a medical leave due to anxiety and depression problems. I was heavily playing MMOs before my breakdown and I knew then that gaming was a evil that led up to my current situation. This only further shows my powerlessness as I tried so hard to play that game.

I am willing to be honest and interact with the fellow recoverers on this forum. I have already deleted most of my games and I haven't played for about ten days.

Game Free Since Feb. 1 2012

Adroan
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/28/2012 - 7:06pm
I am a member of the US Army

I am a member of the US Army and have had two deployments in the past 3 years. One to Iraq the other to Afghinastan. I have been married for 3 years and have two kids. I spend at least 30+ hours a week playing rift. I just recentally returned from my deployment to Afghanistan to my 8 month old daughter and 2 year old son. I am 22 years old. My wife is 21. She and I fight every single day because of my playing of Rift. I try my hardest to spend time with my wife and kids. I even let my wife change the password to my computer and she unlocks it to let me play every now and again, but once I am on, I do not want to get off. I am diagnosed with ADHD and take adderall for it. I find myself concentrating 100% on Rift when I play and looking up stuff on my phone constantly when I am not playing. My wife wants to leave me. She says I play to much and we have verbal confrintations daily, infront of our kids. I always make excuses and take brief periods off then am sucked back into the game. I feel like if I miss a day of playing I will be behind and have to make up for it. When I play Rift I feel like there is nothing else in the world. I forget everything as soon as I hit enter to log into the game. My daughter could be crying, and I will not notice until my wife screams at me. My son could be trying to get my attention and I just tell him to go away and watch cartoons or go play with mommy. I also am embarressed to talk about Rift in public, I find it shameful. Like your a 22 year old man with two kids and play a MMO what a loser. I want to be able to conrol my time myself and I keep telling myself that if Quitting Rift would feel like I let myself down. I need to concentrate on other things such as my Army carrer, my physical fitness, studying for college and schools, but I neglect all that when I play Rift. I fear that if I do not make a change, I am going to lose my wife/kids and my carrer in the Army. I just do not know what to do, I have messed myself up mentaly, telling myself I have control when I do not. I make excuses and bribe my wife with material objects so that I can play Rift, I make so many promises, like this is my last time staying up until 0400 to raid. When she knows I will do it the next chance I have. I do not want to lose my family. I want to grow old with my wife. I need her and I am neglecting her and pushing her away. Please someone help me.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Adroan wrote: I need to
Adroan wrote:

I need to concentrate on other things such as my Army carrer, my physical fitness, studying for college and schools, but I neglect all that when I play Rift. I fear that if I do not make a change, I am going to lose my wife/kids and my carrer in the Army. I just do not know what to do,

Welcome Adroan. You yourself said what you need to do, stop playing games.

It's very hard I know, but you've made the first step possible.

You know what gaming is causing in your life. And you know what you need to do: quit.

It's hard to quit; this is an addiction.

But you are worth it, your family is worth it.

There are many here who started off in the same circumstances. None of us really wanted to quit, but it got so that gaming was sucking our life away; it got to the point where gaming was causing my life a lot of misery.

I joined OLGA, then somehow quit that day. I found a lot of support here to help me; if you can get to meetings, being with others who are trying to turn their lives around makes it much easier.

Good luck!

bebetterhusband
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/29/2012 - 8:13am
Powerless:  I admit that

Powerless: I admit that time and again I have told myself that I can manage the playtime. I have planned to head to bed with my wife after she tucks the kids in, and Im still playing at 2 AM. day after day after week. I repeated this pattern no matter the game. I have no control over how long I would play, how many days a week I played, making time on days off to spend with my family. I just keep playing. I am powerless to control my playtime.

Because of this inability to control my playtime I did not manage my own life. I did not make payments on some things because I played so much. I did not do work on the house, cars and property maintenace, r improvments my wife wants, due to my incessent play. I have for a long time been out of touch with my family because playtime dominated my time. I am way out of physical shape because I play online instead of play outside with my beautiful wife and kids.

Now that I can see how out of control my playtime was, my inability to moderate game time and fit it into my life, and how I was unable to manage my life due to it, I hope to be now able to heal and do something about it and get control of my life, and spend a quantity of quality time with my wife and family.

OLGA Home Page: "We advocate and provide a 12-Step Program of recovery. For those who are interested in a formalized meeting approach, we provide both a traditional 12-step program and a modified program for atheists and agnostics." I advocate and use the 12 steps programs, which have helped tens of millions of addicts of all kinds recover.

EVE_OFFFline
EVE_OFFFline's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/10/2012 - 7:33am
My first step: After months

My first step: After months of playing excessive gaming , trying to become happy and numb due to too many reasons to mention. I got depressed thoughts. Then, I thought a life without internet would be unbearable ( I had to cross aferry for 8 hours, that fed that thought) and I awoke. I started to look on internet and found medical advisory , then I found this site and knew, my gaming life caused me from getting ill. Maybe I was lucky. My life was at the point to become unmanagable. Not taking care of myslef, not washing the dishes..small stuff , also big stuff.

This has ended.

After 1 month turning the number of hours of gaming graduated down, today is the first day I feel free to decide to play, and I decided not to play, as my own free choice.

Thats not all, by decreasing the number of hours from over 50 last month to around 8 hours this week, I made some results being: No longer exhausted 24/7 ; sleeping steady times and being able to sleep; I feel sometimes moodswings, but at least I feel my emotions again. and they get less intense. I feel tensed in the morining what is not strange, being dead tired for months...

I dont regret. I accept who I am, and this is how I must learn. And I will teach other...in any addiction they have. I admit I am addicted. I am physical addicted to the effect of gaming. I even gamed when hating the game so I consider mental addiction of a lesser problem. I have written parts of this on other bits and pieces but I want to summarize my first month here , by telling things went - I think - very well. Thanks to loving support I feek stronger,

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
EVE_OFFFline wrote: I even
EVE_OFFFline wrote:

I even gamed when hating the game...

Yup. That to me is the bottom line of a gaming addiction. And true for me too.

I gamed when hating the game. And would quit, then go back, quit, then go back.

Endless cycle.

People can quit at the beginnings of their addiction, and it's easier for them. But those of us who go on until we hate the game, and our lives have become filled with problems, it's so much harder to stop--and stay stopped.

You've made a great beginning. Keep coming back!

bhubbha
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/18/2010 - 1:13pm
It's obvious to me that it

It's obvious to me that it is not a particular game but the general distraction some online game can provide, which is similar to just cruising the internet. It's boils down to avoiding "Real Life" issues and pain. This is my second very serious attempt at stopping this silliness as I like to call it and get back to running my life. I have often tried to tell myself to just treat life like a game and I would be satisfied. I think the problem there is that online gaming gives you instant gratification whereas "Real Life" takes much longer to gratify. I am college educated and have a J.D. and consider myself to be intelligent but my self control could use a big kick in the rear. I reminisce about having a coach in highschool, where they would push you and that would be nice now in my life. Here goes my journey away from pain avoidance and diving into "Real Life" and seeing if I can win there. Love to all...

Kate1song
Kate1song's picture
Offline
Last seen: 5 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/15/2010 - 10:19am
Patria
Patria wrote:
EVE_OFFFline wrote:

I even gamed when hating the game...

Yup. That to me is the bottom line of a gaming addiction. And true for me too.

I gamed when hating the game. And would quit, then go back, quit, then go back.

Endless cycle.

People can quit at the beginnings of their addiction, and it's easier for them. But those of us who go on until we hate the game, and our lives have become filled with problems, it's so much harder to stop--and stay stopped.

You've made a great beginning. Keep coming back!

Great comments Pat. I need to hear them..

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Thank you Kate.  I needed

Thank you Kate. I needed that.

EVE_OFFFline
EVE_OFFFline's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/10/2012 - 7:33am
Thanks Pat ..You are my

Thanks Pat ..You are my example. I also stopped being online apart from here ..and for work. Its just another addiction/

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Bhubbha wrote: I reminisce
Bhubbha wrote:

I reminisce about having a coach in highschool, where they would push you and that would be nice now in my life.

They do have what are called "Life Coaches" here in America. You might want to try that.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Step 1, Part 1:

Step 1, Part 1: powerlessness

When gaming I couldn't quit, modify or go casual.

I tried to modify or play casually the last 2 years of addictive gaming. Any time I tried to quit for good it failed. I'd either go without gaming for a week, then get mad at husband or sister, and would game out of frustration.

Or, I would feel great and would have to game for an hour or two.

Or, would be sick, and the only thing I thought of was gaming.

Or a new game would come out, "I'll try that new one, this one will be different."

No matter what, how hard I tried or how often, something would always get me back to gaming excessively. I couldn't quit when I wanted to, even when I began to hate the gaming.

Step 1, Part 2: Unmanageability.

When gaming, I neglected many aspects of my life.

I neglected the bills, the income taxes, the yard, the cleanliness of the house, the meals, my relationships with husband and friends, my health, my husband's health (I'm his caregiver so it is my job to see he is well-cared for).

I neglected exercise, and brain food like reading or taking classes.

And I indulged in other addictive activities like buying too much; indulging in arguments over politics and pointless discussions about why, when and where; trying to fix my addictive sister, trying to fix my husband, ignoring sister or husband; eating too much candy or fried foods; and had entirely wiped out any type of fun, other than the "fun" in gaming.

By the time I found out excessive gaming was the problem my problems looked horrendous. How can I ever fix all this crap!

Because addictions cause such disturbances in the brain, I spent the next few months just recovering the physical and mental aspects of excessive gaming: exercised, drank lots of water, ate good food, read recovery books, got back into a 12-step study, found a sponsor, and learned to live one day at a time, again.

bhubbha
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/18/2010 - 1:13pm
Your addiction sounds very

Your addiction sounds very similar to mine and probably many others. Thank you for sharing. I like the fact that you have been game free since June 1, 2001. This is my second whole day and I am fighting the urge. Thanks for your inspiration!

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Bhubbha!!! Good for you! Its

Bhubbha!!! Good for you! Its hard to go through those withdrawals. I read a lot (got a KIndle and had 5 books going on), got lots of exercise, watched movies, went to meetings...

Big hugs!

bhubbha
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/18/2010 - 1:13pm
Thank you Patria, another

Thank you Patria, another successful day of no online game playing. I seemed to look at FB a lot and need to knock that off too, but at least I am reading and exercising my mind, which is not something you do in a mind numbing game... Still gotta focus more on work!

darthenron
darthenron's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/29/2012 - 9:42pm
  The wake up call. .

The wake up call. . .

I'm done telling lies. . .

Hello everyone, my name is Alex, and I'm addicted to games, television and surfing the web.

I know I can't control time limits on games, or try and "multi-task". I seem to fall into moods of depression and think that playing a game will flip some kind of switch to make me a happy person.

I started playing games heavily in middle school, playing with friends in LAN parties or MMORPG's. The good part was it kept me out of trouble, and I met some really great people who helped shape my outlook on life today. That was one great thing, as a young person I could have real conversations with adults who could share their life experiences and help me grow. They even encourage me to attend college while in high school.

But I used games at this time as more of a chat-room.

In high school I started to push off school work and focus more into computers, I had a large network of real friends in high school, and hung out outside of video games.

Out of high school I didn't have a place to meet/hang out with friends other than online games. This started my addiction.

Most games want you to keep playing, keep raiding, and get that best "gear" or highest level.

I would think about gaming all day long, rush home and turn on the computer to play. Forgetting to feed my animals, clean my apartment, even eat a decent meal.

I would even sit and wait at a raiding spot for hours and hours hopping that the mob would spawn for me to beat a quest. I waited one time for over 12 hours!!

When the first expansion pack for WoW came out, I called off work, had a stash of Red Bull, and leveled from midnight to 2am the next day.

I was so burned out, and felt more like I just worked a 2nd job that I wasn't getting paid for then enjoying a game.

I canceled my account a few weeks later.

That burn out help me get off of playing heavily.

But since then I have relapsed over and over again. And wasted hours and hours on something I don't even get enjoyment out of anymore.

I'm 25 now, have a beautiful wife, 2 kids (under the age of 3) .. but I'm still stuck in my old ways.

The games are gone now, I made sure of that, but the internet usage to stupid sites/links.. Facebook.. social media, it's got me locked into hours of wasted time per day.

Today, March 7, 2012 starts my clean slate. I've blocked sites I know I venture too; I've limited what I see in facebook/twitter. Unfollowed/hidden links from gaming websites. And now I'm posting here to say to the world that gaming is an addiction, and I'm not going to let it control my life!

~Alex

\

EVE_OFFFline
EVE_OFFFline's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/10/2012 - 7:33am
Hi Alex. I am happy you have

Hi Alex.

I am happy you have come that far, and your story is too familliar. Please bear in mind that the first day , around 24 hours after you quit, can become though due withdrawal symptoms.that last 5 days to 6 weeks, but get less over time, as long you dont relapse. When you play you produce large quantaties of Dopamine, what makes you feel good (approval, reward) and encourages exploration. As your bous has build tolerance it will try to watn you you are not making enough Dopamine so you feel itches telling you to play. But simply resist that. On the other hand your body tries to get rid of stress hormones so you will sweat a lot..and feel tensions. It ll pass.

Klinikal depression happens when your mind craves dopamine. You may feel useless the following days, and hopless, what is a direct result of the dopamine levels ( and serotenien) in your brains while it finds a new balance. At moments you may believe you will never be happy again, or worse.

Stopping an addiction is serious so be sure you vist your doctor too. Medication may help desolve the depressions, although they can take 2 weeks to work. But dont depair under depression..it can be cured. Especially these types.

You also may get fast heartbeats...nothing to worry about. At moments you game , (ie in the mornong before going to work, or at night...you relax and your heartbeat compensates that by increasing a bit...Now you dont game but your heart will compansate anyway as it needs to get used to a new scheme.

I have young children too, what caused me to log on even more..Its caused by obesessed compulsed disorder, what may be increased by stress or frustrations at home or at work ( crying toddlers can be stressful) So what you need to break first is the compulsive behavior. Then adddiction prevention follows.

Watching TV is less damaging to the brain, as long you only watch what you really interest, so dont watch coz its on. As you probably be stressed the first days, maybe try to limit the TV next week, but if you restructure the days..then try to sport, relax by parcticing muscles (like yoga) , read a novel of interest, or study a bit. .You will laso become more talkative when not gaming as your emotion and social brains are surpressed by the dopamin Excess, so give it time to heal...and you be fine.

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Hi Alex! if you can come to

Hi Alex! if you can come to our meetings you would find a lot of support and meet some new friends who are quitting or have quit gaming and you will feel right at home.

Welcome!

bhubbha
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/18/2010 - 1:13pm
Powerless, I was doing good

Powerless, I was doing good then thought I could just take a break from work and play a little, BIG mistake... Need to find other ways of taking a break that don't eat away a whole day... So now I am back at 4:45 March 21, I quit computer gaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
bhubbha wrote: Powerless, I
bhubbha wrote:

Powerless, I was doing good then thought I could just take a break from work and play a little, BIG mistake... Need to find other ways of taking a break that don't eat away a whole day... So now I am back at 4:45 March 21, I quit computer gaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yah, that little break at the game seems to just end up into the addiction again.

Welcome back!

EVE_OFFFline
EVE_OFFFline's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/10/2012 - 7:33am
bhubbha wrote: Powerless, I
bhubbha wrote:

Powerless, I was doing good then thought I could just take a break from work and play a little, BIG mistake... Need to find other ways of taking a break that don't eat away a whole day... So now I am back at 4:45 March 21, I quit computer gaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you feel withdrawal or did you play hours on end?? i am curious what you felt after you quit ( guilt, stress, depression, tension? )

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

bhubbha
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 08/18/2010 - 1:13pm
I wasted a lot of time, then

I wasted a lot of time, then I felt all the emotions you listed. Then after feeling those emotions to escape from that, I played more. What a vicious cycle that I WILL break NOW!

Tremillian
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 5 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/22/2012 - 9:50pm
Hi, my name's Kelly, and I'm

Hi, my name's Kelly, and I'm an MMO addict. I've been playing video games since I was 2, so this will probably be difficult. I managed it for decades, but I found an MMO I couldn't get enough of. I would play it for 2 days at a time, log off for two weeks, and keep coming back. When I was back in college, I managed to stay off it two months, but after being unable to finish the class for other reasons, I dropped the class and went back to the game. I told myself it was because I would have a lot more free time and it wouldn't interfere with life now that school wasn't a part of it.

I deleted the client and downloader yesterday, but the real problem is that all of my friends are gamers. I have to find ways to hang out with them other than that, or else.. find new friends.

One of the main reasons I want to quit is that I'm a writer. I write a lot of fiction and stuff, and would like to be involved in the comic book industry (even though I'm not a great artist). When I game, I don't want to/can't seem to write, and writing is something that I really enjoy when I'm capable of doing it.

I want to go back home and try to get a degree in something that I enjoy (probably english), and then start a career.

As long as I game, I think the rest of my life will be a lot worse, and I want to leave a legacy that isn't just a high score.

bebetterhusband
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/29/2012 - 8:13am
So, how does step one apply

So, how does step one apply to me?

1) admit I am powerless over gaming and my life has become unmanageable.

Every time I have tried to moderate and manage my online game playtime with my life, I have soon gone to full time gaming. i.e. 8 am to 2 am on a day off and every available moment of every day. I isolated myself, allowing my most important relationships to suffer. I sometimes got the kids to school late, I played right thru the family evening, spending mere minutes at dinner, not doing any household chores, no time with kids or wife, sometimes late for work, losing sleep to hang out with buddies I truly do not know, while my loving wife cried herself to sleep at night.

This time wasted gaming keeps me from being able to manage my life. I have neglected my sweet wife, my marriage, my kids, my career, my finances, my house, my cars, my body, my... life. I avoided dealing positively and constructively with all of that to hide out gaming. My house is in threat of foreclosure due to my career and financial neglect due mainly to gaming. As a consequence I have nearly lost everything I love most, especially my wife and kids.

I can't start gaming. Whenever I have in the past I end up playing full time. So I cannot start. I can manage to not game just today.

by the way, Friday will be 8 weeks since I last gamed. The 29th will be 9 weeks. ...and also my 4th anniversary with my beautiful long suffering wife. Pray for us, please.

OLGA Home Page: "We advocate and provide a 12-Step Program of recovery. For those who are interested in a formalized meeting approach, we provide both a traditional 12-step program and a modified program for atheists and agnostics." I advocate and use the 12 steps programs, which have helped tens of millions of addicts of all kinds recover.

vesalian.prime
vesalian.prime's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 2 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 02/23/2012 - 11:50pm
bebetterhusband
bebetterhusband wrote:

by the way, Friday will be 8 weeks since I last gamed. The 29th will be 9 weeks. ...and also my 4th anniversary with my beautiful long suffering wife. Pray for us, please.

I am proud of you Be. Keep coming back.

Perhaps a man who is worthy of the name should put aside this question of how long he will live ..., and turn his attention to this instead, to how he can live the best life possible in the time that is granted to him
Marcus Aurelius

Gettingalife
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/11/2011 - 5:41pm
Ditto. Good to see you, BBH.

Ditto. Good to see you, BBH.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

Frankiedoodle
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/26/2012 - 3:20am
I am powerless over my

I am powerless over my addiction to gaming.

I've been gaming for 10 years on and off (mostly on) and in that time I have destroyed relationships, disconnected with my children and caused suffering to people that I love. I've lost myself to the point that I don't know who I am anymore. I have no ambition, no motivation, and my life is full of fear and anxiety. I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared that I have lost all ability to connect with life outside of my self created prison. I'm scared that I've done too much damage to the relationship I have with my kids and my friends.I have let my life suffer as a consequence of my gaming addiction. My finances, my home, my appearence but mostly my spiritual and mental wellbeing.

I have made excuses as to why I game so much and some of those are valid excuses, most of them are not. Most of them are driven by fear, by low self esteem and an unwillingness to seek help. Firstly, I am a single parent with no close relatives for support. I first got online to seek out adult conversation and connect with other people as I'm not that confident when it comes to going out and speaking to people face to face. I started with chat rooms at first and logged in all day every day to avoid facing the reality of my problems. I'm lonely, and that is the truth of the matter. At first it seemed great and I learned a lot about the internet and the online community but I had no idea how this great tool was going further my problem. I always wanted to be creative, I'm not very artistic, I don't have any talents but I was always envious of people who did and had that outlet so I started searching for ways to do this online. One day I discovered Second Life. I thought it was so great, I could create, chat and most importantly I could create the version of myself that I thought I had lost. The person I wanted to be...or so I thought. For six years now I have played SL pretending to be someone that I'm not. I thought that being in 'relationships' online was just a 'new, modern' way that people interacted. I justified it to friends and family as being no different from having a 'pen pal'. when my kids would ask why I wanted to be online all the time I told them that it was because I didn't have any friends in the real world and this was my way of staying connected to it.

Yesterday I snapped. I looked at my kids, they're sad. I looked at my house, its a mess. I looked at myself, I'm a failure. I am powerless and my life is out of control. I asked myself how long do you think you will stay logged in for? Another 10 years? How many more years will go by before you wake up and realise that you've existed in a virtual world with nothing to show for it? When the kids are gone and they're needing help because they were neglected, how will you try to justify that and make excuses? That was my breaking point. This has to stop. I don't know how I am going to do this, but I have started by deleting accounts, uninstalling games, I've removed every trace of that life from my pc and removed all those 'friends' from skype etc.

Today I'm am lost. I have walked around my house and I have no idea where to start. I have no idea how or what I will do now to fill the many hours that I would have been in that virtual world. I'm scared I will not be able to fill that void. I'm scared that I will make good progress in getting my homelife back to a managable state, but then what? What do I do? Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

The answers to all these questions will not be easy to find and I'm sure there will be a good many tears before I can start to move forward.

I hope this doesn't seem like I'm rambling. But I sure do feel better that I've actually said it.

EVE_OFFFline
EVE_OFFFline's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 6 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/10/2012 - 7:33am
Frankiedoodle. You are, or

Frankiedoodle. You are, or were high on a substance called dopamine. When you game you make a lot of Dopamine. When you dont play, you dont make it.

Dopamine makes you feel happy, it s your rewrd hormone. And you are addicted to it. When you quit gaming you will suffer from withdrawal, just like a drug addict, or alcoholic when they stop. that is because playing games f...s your brains just like these substances.

When you quit ...you need about 10 weeks to recover from most of your depression. If you feel really depressed go to your medicial doctor to get anxiety blockers or anti depressents. Some meds, therapy and quit habits that are addictive...gaming is the worst...you can be fine in a few weeks or months...and with fine I mean ...really great,

pre- diagnosed with Autism.

Topic locked