Two Great Websites

12 posts / 0 new
Last post
Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Two Great Websites

http://zenhabits.net/brief-guide/

My childhood was over-controlled. I had controlling parents, controlling grandparents; perfectionism was the rule of the day.

I didn't go out of the house unless everything on me was perfect. I was given hair perms at 5 years of age. Grandmother made me go back home once, because I chose the wrong blouse for the skirt (I was 9).

I spent most my adult life trying to be perfect, and control the perfection. Control everything around me. I've spent a great deal of time learning how to control, to control better, to be more in control, to channel control, to develop control.

I used to think that was what I needed. And what I really needed was less control.

Well, Zenhabits is a great site--for me especially--so that I can stop controling, accept what is, learn what is, love what is.

Which reminds me:

http://www.thework.com/index.php

Byron Katie wrote a book called "Loving What Is".... It's helping.

Phobos
Phobos's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 4 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 10/31/2011 - 4:00pm
Bookmarked zenhabits for

Bookmarked zenhabits for reading later. It looks like something I also need to look at. I often thought of addiction to gaming as addiction to control. Controlling your surroundings, your appearance....but it's not real and it just leaves a hole when you step away from the computer...

Thank you for the webstite Patria.

Nogame1: January 28th 2013 - April 27th 2013

mubb (not verified)
Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for sharing this Pat... like you i had an over-controlled childhood because of my father and my grandma, for example my grandma used to check on my notebook when i was at school and when she saw that the words didn't have the same high she broke the page and made me write it again... if i didn't do this i couldn't go with my mum (i lived with my grandma for 1 year)...

When i was an adult i had huge fights on that matter with them... somehow now my father is less controlling over me but God i had to earn that and it cost me a lot... this is why i can't tell him about my addiction, he might want to take control over me again and no way.

Yoga helped me a lot with this, i used to have long conversations with my teacher and i loved his point of view... i wish i can continue going with him *sighs*...

I'm gonna read later the website, thank you so much for sharing this :)

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
Mubb wrote: for example my
Mubb wrote:

for example my grandma used to check on my notebook when i was at school...

Exactly what happened with me.

Even the bathroom was not sacred. Everything was checked.

Drinking allowed me to loosen up and escape the control. Of course, after becoming an alcoholic I was then controlled by alcohol.

mubb (not verified)
Patria wrote: Even the
Patria wrote:

Even the bathroom was not sacred. Everything was checked.

Drinking allowed me to loosen up and escape the control. Of course, after becoming an alcoholic I was then controlled by alcohol.

Same here, everything was checked and yeah for a while alcohol became a way of escape from that over control... in fact i used to say "i drink because we engineers drink a lot, it's normal"... i haven't drink alcohol in a while (i can't remember when exactly) but yeah i can't control that.

Serena
Serena's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/06/2010 - 2:40am
I love what you selected so

I love what you selected so much that I am

putting it directly here, slightly edited!

Thank you!

Serena

the brief guide

less computer and TV, more reading

less shopping, more outdoors

less clutter, more space
less rush, more slowness
less consuming, more creating
less junk, more real food
less busywork, more impact
less driving, more walking
less noise, more solitude
less focus on the future, more on the present
less work, more play
less worry, more smiles
breathe...

--

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez

Steele
Steele's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 12 months ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 12/14/2010 - 1:31pm
I just saw a TED talk, which

I just saw a TED talk, which I would like to recommend.

Brene Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

Allyson2213
Allyson2213's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/01/2010 - 6:06pm
Thanks for sharing with us

Thanks for sharing with us that websites. Yep perfection could be your worst enemy or could be your friend. The fact of the perfection indeed doesn't exists leave the path free for self improvement. We can be better in whatever we want, with no social standars. Since the perfection doesn't exist we can always be better. What a paradox.

Breathe! :)

"Take what you need and leave the rest." I got nothing but moments to live.

Gettingalife
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 12/11/2011 - 5:41pm
Oh, but why doesn't God take

Oh, but why doesn't God take *my* advice! LOL

Perfectionism & Analysis Paralysis & Control = all my fear

Love the Brene Brown talk! Thanks for the link.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

Serena
Serena's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/06/2010 - 2:40am
This is a great

This is a great thread...

Addiction is a way to cope with fear and stress

and anxiety that just doesn't work for long

if you want to live a real, honest, happy life.

Changing one addiction for another...

is something that I have observed in myself;

the need for control, the need to be occupied...

I just want to relax, let go, and accept love...

Serena

"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein

"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez

ElizabethA
ElizabethA's picture
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/02/2011 - 5:40pm
Add one to your list

Add one to your list Serena:

"More wag, less bark."

elizA

.Left the games behind Tuesday, March 28, 2011...I have a new left knee and a lot more appreciation for the word "recovery"....blessings come in the darndest forms!

.

Patria
Patria's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/02/2011 - 1:55am
ElizabethA wrote: Add one
ElizabethA wrote:

Add one to your list Serena:

"More wag, less bark."

elizA

OMGoodness, that's priceless! Thanks Eliza.

Log in or register to post comments