&: Here we go..

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Sheradyn
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&: Here we go..

Hi everyone,

Be forewarned, I'm not a writer, so I apologize for this being choppy or whatever. =)

Little about myself... I'm 29 year old female and I play or rather played Everquest for over 2 years. When I started playing my husband and I had been married for 4 years, I was not working and going through a few trials and tribulations due to the fact that I was trying to get pregnant and wasn't able too. A friend of mine had been playing EQ for a while at that time and she introduced me into the game. I played for fun back then. Had a character that I would run around and goof off with when I was bored. But at that moment in time I had one priority and that was getting pregnant. Well, I did get finally get pregnant. =) We were so excited, life continued, I still played EQ for about a week after that and then the worst happened. I miscarried. The miscarriage sent my world into a tailspin and too this day it still effects me as I'm sure it would anybody. However, my husband and I were very lucky in a bittersweet way, because we found out about a week later that I had been pregnant with twins and had lost one. I then spent the next 8 months struggling through a difficult pregnancy due to the trama of losing one and never signed onto EQ again until after our son was born.

Everquest then came back into my life when our baby was about 3 months old, my husband had just moved us from one state to another. I wouldn't say that my life was in turmoil because of this move, he and I were both very happy about it. We saw it as a brand new start for our new little family. However, I was a new mommy and felt like I was tied to the house because I was still nursing. So when my husband was at work the baby and I would stay at home. I would get bored during naptime because I'm not much of a TV watcher so I found other outlets to fill my time. That's when EQ came back into my life. I created a brand new character and fell in love with her in such a way that later on down the road she would become my obsession.

I started playing slowly, only when my little boy was napping and in the evenings when he was already tucked into bed. It was easy then. I didn't have a high level character, I wasn't raiding every single night and I wasn't in what is called an "uber" guild. I could sign on and off whenever I pleased. My character grew and I joined a guild, I actually joined quite a few guilds in EQ until I eventually ended up in one of the top guilds of the game.

Everquest only being on when the baby was sleeping eventually stayed on all the time, even when the baby was awake and playing too the point that I made sure that his playroom was also the computer room. I had the best of both worlds EQ and my baby boy. I would cook dinner while I was away from the keyboard during downtime on raids. I would usually eat at the computer and let my husband feed the our baby. And I can say honestly and openly that my life on EQ became my entire life. It was a world that I could control, I could be anyone and I could do anything. I didn't have to worry about how much money was in the bank, what was I going to fix for dinner, I could be this carefree, beautiful character and not have one single flaw.

I did this for over two years. My husband never really complained that much, he knew that I was raised on computers and that they were and always will be apart of my life. He never said much about me not going to bed with him and staying up all hours of the night, he just got used to it. He gave me the freedom that I wanted at nighttime (raidtime) while he took care of the baby. It was a happy arrangement for me and let me stress this one point. It was a HAPPY arrangement FOR ME and only ME.

Months passed, a couple of years passed. My marriage is still there, my baby boy is growing up before my eyes and I'm missing out on it. But my character was growing into this powerful person on EQ, the rewards were so great that I couldn't let it go. My husband would talk to me about having another baby and I would put him off, saying I'm not ready. But what I wasn't telling him was the fact that the reason why I wasn't ready is because I knew it was going to change my Everquest Career. (Keywords here are Everquest Career)

So here we are... Husband, Wife, Child. Husband goes to work everyday, Wife takes care of child during the day while playing EQ, Husband comes home and takes over wifes duties so she can go have her fantasy life of perfection. Happy hunky dorey if you ask me. Well, kinda sorta.

What people may not realize and maybe some do is that Everquest becomes a career that becomes addictive. Everyone wants to suceed in anything that they do and the only way to succeed is to work your hiney off. Working isn't fun for anyone, but hey you recieve fruits of your labor. The fruits in EQ weren't money they were the loot, the satisfaction of killing something before anyone in the entire game did it. What a complete rush it was. But it was growing so old and tiring because who likes to work? Right? The problem was, by the time the game was becoming too much like work and less fun, the addicition had already set in. I felt like I had an obligation to my guild to be there every single time they raided but because I was there every single night was receiving the benefits of it too. I had a job, just like my husband had a job. My job was just different and I didn't get paid for it in a way that I could pay the bills and it was destroying so many of my relationships including the one with my husband and my son.

Anyways, moving on. My husband takes a new position with the company he works for and moves us again. I was then forced to quit Everquest for a few weeks while the move was taking place and then the wait on DSL. What a blessing in disguise. DSL finally comes, I sign on to EQ and I raid for the first time in about 4 weeks. I was so miserable sitting here at the computer, I found myself making mistakes in the game because I was paying more attention and playing more with my son than I was the game. Eyeopener that was.

For quite a while EQ was not apart of my life and it wasn't by choice, it's because of the move. I started spending time with my son, really getting to know the beautiful little boy that he was becoming and most importantly I fell in love all over again with my husband and life became what it once was again.

However, this isn't the end of the story. After about another two weeks of not signing on to EQ, I started realizing that there were characters that were becoming greater than mine and that jealous little head of mine peaked out. I called my husband at work and asked him if he minded if I started playing again. And of course, him being the wonderful man that he is said not at all. So I started playing again, This lasted for about 2 weeks. I played every single night and I started to realize the work and the sacrifice that went into the game all over again and the moodieness and the obligation of always having to be there set in once more. Stress level rose, headaches started and within that two weeks my physical state went downhilll fast and medically was forced to quit. Another blessing in disguise.

It's been about a month and a half since I have played Everquest. I still have my account and yes I have signed on to speak to friends once or twice, which I think I was online for approx. 3 mins before I would be so tired of it, I would sign off. But this is all going to come to an end in about 2 weeks because the outlet won't be being paid for anymore. The account has been canceled as of last night. I'm not selling the account, I'm not giving the account to anyone. I'm just going to let it die and let the addiction of the game die with it. I thought about giving the account to a friend, but then I realized that doing that I'm just aiding in keeping the addiciton alive in someone else and I don't want that.

I have my life back, I didn't do any major damage to any of my realtionships, I didn't loose my house, my marriage, my son or anything. But I'm one of the lucky ones. I did loose one thing...I lost 2 years of my sons life. 2 precious years of his life that just slipped right through my fingers that I can never get back. I'm working on my relationship with my son more and more now. Letting him know that his mommy is always going to be here and that she's really here in HIS world and not her fantasy world.

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Here we go..

Sheradyn, I want to welcome you here!!!! Wow what a story, I actually started to tear up at the end when you were talking about losing 2 years of your son's life. Aren't you glad you woke up in time to not lose more?

I love your term "Everquest Career"!!! It is so true because the game becomes your job. I can't remember how many times at the end when I got yelled at by somebody in the guild for not being at this raid or that raid and I would say to them that I already have a job, I dont need another one here. But the fact is that Everquest is a job at the high level game especially.

I also want to extend my congratulations to you on getting pregnant. I understand the trials of infertility because I went through 2 years of it myself. It can be devastating. But I am happy to hear that you have that precious little boy now who is very lucky to have a mommy like you. You should be proud of yourself for giving up EQ like you did. Not an easy feat at all. I know about those jealous tendencies because I had them. I still now hear about the other enchanters in the guild who got this item or that item and I start to get jealous. But when that happens, I just look at myself and think oh well I dont have an awesome robe, but I am working on an awesome life right now.

Hug that little boy for me and come back and visit. I think you could help a lot of other people out there.

Tosha

Sheradyn
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Last seen: 13 years 6 months ago
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Joined: 10/19/2002 - 11:24pm
Re: Here we go..

I plan on coming and being here everyday. I still get on the computer daily. I will never be rid of the computer, it's part of every day life. But the trick is using it as a utility and not as something that you just have to have.

It's funny that you mention that you miss your enchanter. I too played an enchanter and I believe that it's a very hard class to give up. I spoke about the feeling of obligation. Enchanters are a needed class in EQ and I knew this, it made me feel wanted and needed when I signed on. Which later became the feeling of obligation. At night I would tell my husband. "Honey, I have to sign on, they need me there. There probably won't be but me and one other enchanter." Truth of the matter is, that one enchanter could have done it. They didn't need me. But I felt so obligated and I also knew that if I missed, I wasn't gonna get that next "uber" piece of loot.

Now I only think of when am I gonna get my next sloppy kiss and hug from my son. =) It's a great feeling.

Also, I'm hear to help in any way, shape or form I can.

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Here we go..

Well heres to Enchanters . Yes they are a difficult class to play and thats one of the highs I think I got while playing. Because I felt like I was one of the better ones and loved it when people would be amazed at the end of a fight when I controlled a train and let us all live and on top of that keep them hasted and clarified. That was hard for me to give up because I did get a rush knowing that I was good at that and people did look up to me. Which is why it took me a good 2-3 months to actually quit the game.

I am thrilled you have decided to join us and look forward to talking with you more.

Tosha

anonymous (not verified)
Re: Here we go..

Sheradyn, glad to have you here! Thanks again and best of wishes!

______________________________
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Edited by: Dervish DuKot of Tristan at: 10/20/02 1:47:26 am

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Here we go..

Welcome, Sheradyn!

Thanks for sharing your personal story and the challenges you faced. I know that feeling when you log in day after day really not wanting to, but doing so because it has become such a habit.

I'm so happy to hear that things are going well with your family and that your priorities are falling in line. You sound very confident and self-assured. That is what happens when you finally get your handle on an addiction that took those things away in the first place.

Glad to have you here, and feel free to share with us, anytime!

Diggo

eMail - Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
Online Gamers Anonymous
Addicted to Everquest from July, 1999 to May, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

lizwool
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Joined: 06/27/2002 - 1:13am
Re: Sheradyn,

What a sad story - giving up being with your baby, to play Everquest.

I am a mother of 4, and a grandmother.

It is not easy having a baby, and is a full time job, in itself.

I just loved holding them so much, and just looking at them, when they were so little.

I couldn't imagine giving that up, so I could play Everquest.

Your husband sounds like a saint.

Thanks for coming and sharing your story.

And, congratulations on coming back to real life.

Please, keep coming and posting here, in OUR group. You are a member. You HAVE paid your dues.

Also, please e-mail me at olganon.org. I have something to ask you.

Thanks.
Liz

Liz Woolley

lauramc
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Joined: 03/21/2008 - 9:37pm
Re: Here we go..

Wow, what a powerful story. Edit: Indeed it was... 5 1/2 years ago. I hope she's doing well. :|

Xandtar
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Re: Here we go..

Thank you, laura. To those who wonder about this, laura likes to look through the old history and dig up the occasional old thread, if the OP is sufficiently powerful. I think that's a good idea, reading the old posts gives you valuable perspectives on where we've come. For most bumped threads, though, its probably a good idea to eventually return them among their in-time companion posts when we're through with them, after a day or two. Now from time to time, a post like Crossroads is SO good that it should stay, and I encourage those who want an old thread to be restarted to feel free to put it out there and see what happens. Maybe even sticky it, again your call. But this cuts both ways, if someone advances something, respect their opinion its worth a second look. Then if (and usually when) there's no traffic, no comments, after a day or two if you think like a library book it should be put back on the shelf it came from, don't wait for me or the advancer, just delete the bump post, making sure you don't step on toes in the process. And now, with everyone informed of their rights and privileges as moderators, and with a general guideline to try to be tolerant and respectful of your colleagues' excesses (in any direction we're all thin skinned sometimes), I'm going to bed. :| Sleep well everyone, tomorrow is a new day.

Leveling in Real Life

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