&: I lost everything in my life, because of this game...

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TekkenAddict
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I have come to this forum

I have come to this forum but since then I had a relapse for about 6 months. I got a new job that was really stressful and started playing games to relieve stress. I play almost my entire day off and forget about homework. People ask me to do something and I have to play before I can go anywhere, my hair is a mess, and I've started to physically get sick and have eye problems. Well the alarm went off. I gave all my games to a loved one and I'm back here again. At this point I think my addiction might be chemical, so I'm going to the gym now. Sadly I can't got to the meetings because I work at 4 pm, so if anyone has an avenue I can take I would gladly take it.

Change is always happening. Question is: Is it Positive or Negative?

Patria
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I would suggest going to

I would suggest going to some face to face meetings (NA, CR, open meetings of AA) at a time that is convenient for you. Get a sponsor or recovery buddy.

Get into contact with other recovering people. Sometimes posting and reading posts on this site is very helpful, but often we need more, like f2f meetings.

I wish you well :)

Andrew_Doan
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Patria wrote: I would
Patria wrote:

I would suggest going to some face to face meetings (NA, CR, open meetings of AA) at a time that is convenient for you. Get a sponsor or recovery buddy.

Get into contact with other recovering people. Sometimes posting and reading posts on this site is very helpful, but often we need more, like f2f meetings.

I wish you well :)

Face-to-face meetings are key. Surround yourself with people who can encourage you and walk with you during your recovery.

Andrew Doan MD PhD

My Videos: Internet gaming disorder is real & my story 

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy or Department of Defense.

TekkenAddict
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All the meetings in NY are

All the meetings in NY are in Manhattan, and they start an hour before I start work. They used to have online meeting in the morning but I have yet to see one.

Change is always happening. Question is: Is it Positive or Negative?

Patria
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Any meetings after work? If

Any meetings after work? If you work the late shift, there might be early morning meetings.

Are the meetings close to your work? I used to go to one for 1/2 hour then use the second half to get to work. Or I'd take a lunch hour and meet at a meeting near my job. Is the job you work at large enough you could post a notice, Any Friends of Bill W.? contact: ....

I've done that before and people in AA will show up. You can tell them you are a recovering from excessive gaming but you need their help. People in recovery rarely object to helping.

TekkenAddict
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Check your messages Patria

Check your messages Patria

Change is always happening. Question is: Is it Positive or Negative?

Marshmellow
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I've had some good luck in

I've had some good luck in the past quitting my game totally - never venuring back in after quiting. I made it almost a year once. Recently I have been dipping into the game an hour at a time, usually once a week or so, only when my guy is not around the apartment. Although I feel I am cheating, not being totally "true" I am having trouble feeling the "failure". of not being able to quit. However, an event happenend this week that was really troubling.

My guy [significant otheinr, main squeeze, what ever you want to call him] found me writing an email on my "avatar email". He got really upset. The next day he, with I watching, went into the computer and went about deleting all the avatar the emails and the web content that went with them. [picasaweb] This was really hard, as I have some 20,000 pictures of my game life that he deleted - although he didn't really know that at the time. and still doesn't. This was a real gut wrenching experience as all my "friends" that I had emails from were now without a contact point for my avatar. I of course, had no address book for these folks, and all links on the internet and games sites were no longer valid.

Talk about a sense of loss - all those pictures, memories and relationships were now gone. I tried to "deal" and thought this was a super opportunity to leave and dry out completely. Howver, within a few days I had made up some new email adress's and set them inplace to capture any "inworld" information that would be sent to my avatar. All good intensions, down the tubes.

I deletely the game software from my home computer, and also from my work laptop - DUH, what a stupid thing- to have game software on a work computer. S T U P I D ! These games make you do stupid stuff - that is for sure !

fer
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I also used to collect

I also used to collect screenshots and memories in game. Each had an emotion attached to it.

It was really, really hard to let go of them. But it IS liberating. I hope you can set yourself free. Your significant other meant well.

Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.

curious
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You had the best life

You had the best life ever... why would you give it up for a stupid game!?!?!?!

I'm 19 atm. I thought that I forever lost the chance to have a good family, but I can't say my situation is worse than yours (it's actually improving). My family never did anything fun like yours did in the past though. I'm a virgin, and never have been kissed. I feel like I'm too behind on relationship experience to catch up, but I hope that's not true. I want to have a family like yours and not throw it away.

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task." -- Viktor Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning

Kate1song
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curious wrote: You had the
curious wrote:

You had the best life ever... why would you give it up for a stupid game!?!?!?!

Well, many people who become "addicted" to gaming, feel the overwhelming need to do so... And that feeling, (not actually , the game itself) is what causes them to give themselves over to addiction.. above all else in their life.. no matter how great that life might be...

It is horrible Curious, and difficult for one who has never being addicted to gaming to understand, but as one who has been there, and done that, I understand how someone could "throw all away" for the sake, of gaming....

Thats why i am here.

Patria
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Curious, dear Curious...I

Curious, dear Curious...I would hope very much you aren't as addicted as I got. Each one of us have different "bottoms" (when we individually reach that point where we won't go beyond)...

Some of us lose families and friends; some of us lose jobs and incomes.

I would love it if we all didn't suffer as much as some of us had, but unfortunately, we get off the elevator at different floors.

I heard at an AA meeting: Drinking (gaming) to the end is like falling off the top of the Empire State Building, flying past the 30th floor, saying: "so far, so good".

Luckily I got off at the right floor for me and didn't have to get to the bottom to feel the pinch.

Do I look back at my gaming and feel that it was a waste? yes, but at the time, gaming made perfect sense and reality felt unreal.

What do they say, walk a mile in my shoes.

curious
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Kate1song: Hm?  I was

Kate1song:

Hm? I was addicted. Thing was, my life SUCKED when i discovered WOW so that's why I got addicted. As someone who is 19 and knows nothing about girls (terrible, i know...) I am appalled that he threw her out like that. I would have held onto her as long as possible if I had someone that close to me in my life...

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task." -- Viktor Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning

curious
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Patria:My friends already

Patria:My friends already ditched me before, and i was only addicted in high school, so I didn't work a job. Only thing I risked was graduation and entry to college, which I made in the end. I didn't lose anything except some time to develop relationships, but many high school relationships were complicated.

"What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task." -- Viktor Frankl, Man's Search For Meaning

Patria
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Can we not compare

Can we not compare stories? What I mean is, when someone shares their heart and their losses and their griefs, we surely don't need someone telling us how awful that is.

Of course it was awful. That is what addiction did to some of us.

Curious, you were spared some of that agony. Good for you.

Now, please talk about yourself and what you've gone through.

Kate1song
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curious
curious wrote:

Kate1song:

Hm? I was addicted. Thing was, my life SUCKED when i discovered WOW so that's why I got addicted. As someone who is 19 and knows nothing about girls (terrible, i know...) I am appalled that he threw her out like that. I would have held onto her as long as possible if I had someone that close to me in my life...

well, yeah.. i guess...

It's funny how addicts get appalled at the behavior of other addicts.. I'll bet you did some dumb stuff to in the height of your addiction. I have a nephew that basically hid himself away in his basement for a couple of years when he was 16.. and gamed.. Like a hermit.. thats appalling.. no?

On another note, I read about a book called "the Addictive Personality" and it stated that a lot of people with those personalities have experienced trauma in their childhood... maybe your experiences in your teens have had an impact on you.. and led to your excessive gaming?

Maybe Tommy did too.. and he wasn't aware of that when he wrote this post.. who knows?

dubaaron
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Xandtar wrote: I would
Xandtar wrote:

I would appreciate it if people would ignore Znome's posts in this thread.

Thank you.

It appears he's gone now, but I have to say I think that Znome had a point. Of course we don't know all the specifics behind the dynamics of the situation, but I do find it a bit sad that his wife didn't try to do more to help him, or at least give an ultimatum or something ... I think it probably speaks to the fact that many (most?) people don't see what a problem these types of addictions can really be for some people, and how hard they can be to break free of.

Maybe she did give him an ultimatum. We don't know. Ultimately it sounds like she at least let him see his kids after he'd been making some serious effort at regaining his life, and that is heartening.

I agree that just because there is no physical abuse in a relationship, that doesn't mean that everything is OK. It's a hard situation. And I agree with what other people, sympathetic to the wife's plight, have said. But I guess what I'm saying is that I think that Znome had some valid points as well.

dubaaron
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Patria wrote: I would
Patria wrote:

I would suggest going to some face to face meetings (NA, CR, open meetings of AA) at a time that is convenient for you. Get a sponsor or recovery buddy.

Get into contact with other recovering people. Sometimes posting and reading posts on this site is very helpful, but often we need more, like f2f meetings.

I wish you well :)

It's definitely worth a try to check out other recovery meetings; personally, though, I've found that I have a harder time relating to people in AA meetings because I've never really been there myself, and it doesn't feel like they would really relate very well to my information and gaming addictions. It's almost like a cultural barrier.

But, certainly, worth a try. I have met some good people there, for sure. I had a hard time at AA meetings particularly because it seems like they were so much into smoking, and didn't really look at it as a problem; my main entry into 12-step philosophy was in Nicotine Anonymous.

There's something in finding people who can relate to the particular problem or addiction you have, and have been through getting over it.

dubaaron
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curious
curious wrote:

Kate1song:

Hm? I was addicted. Thing was, my life SUCKED when i discovered WOW so that's why I got addicted. As someone who is 19 and knows nothing about girls (terrible, i know...) I am appalled that he threw her out like that. I would have held onto her as long as possible if I had someone that close to me in my life...

curious:

It's not so bad to be 19 and to feel you know nothing about the opposite sex; many people have felt that way and still do when they're older ...

Another danger, I think, as insidious as any addiction, is to over-idealize and idolize the idea of romantic relationships (which is easy to do if you're alone and lonely and needy). It can lead to just as many problems.

It's hard to appreciate, of course, when you are feeling the lack of relationships in your life (and most of us have been there); but if you want healthy relationships, it's best to build a good relationship with yourself and be a happy person, and approach relationships from that state.

Good luck with things in your life.

ragonis2007
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I have a different

I have a different perspective on your story. It was a test of your mariage and it turned out that a woman has married a man to support herself financially. It was obvious that you were in a trouble and that it was quiet hard to help yourself to solve the problem. The woman found a new man very fast, just in four months! You know, it could be different... She could help you. Anyway, I hope you healed your wounds and became stronger. Women who looks for men for money should be avoided.

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