Brother addicted to gaming

Welcome Alice

If you want to help him then it may take you some time to really understand the issues so you can make informed choices on how you can behave around him. If you do not have time to go into this, the short answer is don't do anything that encourages or helps  him to continue gaming, tell your parents about your concerns and say it is their responsibility to protect him, then get on with your own life because you cannot control their addiction or your parents attitude.

Now here is the long answer:

It can be hard to get a gamer to admit that they have a problem around gaming. Even when it is obvious to us that their life is suffering they may not want to see it that way. There are two threads on the forums about trying to communicate with a problem gamer. They may help you to think of ways to approach him. Be aware if you get angry with him it will only drive him further into the game, because sometimes it is very hard for them to face the guilt they may be feeling about failing in other areas of life.

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-parents-olg-anon-members-only/interventions-and-communication-skills-parents-gamers

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/interventions-and-communication-sos

The best way to help an addict is  by thinking about what you do that is enabling them and stop doing it. Enabling means doing things for them that they should do themselves such as providing meals at their computer, clearing up their mess, trying to protect them from trouble they get into because they are gaming when they should be doing work etc. also things like covering up his addiction to other members of your family, or concerned others ... addiction thrives in secret.

More about enabling in these two threads:

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling-spousessos-addicted

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-parents-olg-anon-members-only/about-enabling-what-we-need-stop-doing-really-help

There is only so much you can do. Try to maintain a good relationship with him without enabling him. If possible try to get him to do alternative ( fun !) activities with you to increase his real life world experience.

Your parents are the ones who are in a position to control his access to the game. Many of the parents on this forum have banned gaming in the home and made other rules to stop the addiction getting worse. If you are willing you could try  to confront you parents about the truth of video game addiction. Once they stop enabling him you will see real changes in your brother.

It may help you to write a log of all the time he spends gaming and what else he does with his life. You need to show them how unbalanced his life is and show the absense of healthy activities. While he is gaming his is missing opportunities to experience real life and grow up. You may also want to find stories on the forum about how people's lives have become so unmanageable when gaming takes over their life. Also list the symtoms that you think show how he is a gaming addict so that it is clear for your parents to see.

When you have got all your logged information ready; give it to them and show your parents this welcome advice for parents ( maybe print it out for them)

http://www.olganon.org/for_parents_of_young_children ( I assume your brother is under 18)

and also show them the Olganon forum

As they seem to have no clue that he is addicted, they are enabling his addiction to continue. This is the most important aspect of his addiction, because he will not come to his senses on his own until more damage is done and that may be years from now. They need to made aware of this and they may not want to believe it because they will have to deal with it and that will not be easy. There is a resource here about how to confront an "enabler"

http://sfhelp.org/fam/addiction2.htm

If you cannot make them see sense, then all you can do is detach from the situation and get on with your own life. Do not enable your parents not to feel the consequences of ignoring his addiction. For example, do not take responsibility for your brother if they want to go on holiday, do not protect them by hiding the fact that they do not help your brother to get a better life when talking to your grandparents or teachers, do not say that everything is OK when it is not OK. All you do is try your best and then let them deal with it and not let your brother's addiction drag you down with worry. Enjoy your life. Worry does not help. We call it detaching with love; here is an  explanation:

http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/detachment-what-means-and-how-do-it

Any other questions please ask.

Your brother may be predisposed to addiction because of his sensitive nature; it's not your fault. Nobody is at fault in that regard.

The thing is to be there for him if he wants help or to do real life activities.

It's knowing when to say something gently that may plant a seed in his brain that may grow.

It's knowing what you can control (your actions and thoughts) and what you can't control ( his addiction), and leaving the things you can't  control to God or your higher power to take care of.

Addiction affects all the members of the family. Some people need therapy to get over someone else's addiction ...so take care of you. Addiction scews the whole family dynamic.

All the best to you

It's a good start . Well done for getting them to do this.

It depends how he responds to the measures in place

In our advice here;

http://www.olganon.org/for_parents_of_young_children

It suggests that you can try one time to see if he will moderate without acting up, causing a fuss  and follow the rules without trying to get round them behind your back. But just give him the one chance to prove himself responsibile and respecful. But if it does not work, consider removing games for good.

While he is not allowed on the computer if he is not doing other healthy stuff in real life and just thinking about what he will do online when his turn comes around, then that is a sign he is addicted.If he is addicted then he will need a long period to detox from gaming and get over withdrawals before he shows any sign of wanting to do healthy activities.

Taking games away for a short period and then giving them back for good behaviour, if this process is repeated and you see an escalation in reaction everytime the games are taken away then that is another sign of addiction.