60 years old and I'm gaming at work

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
level-up
level-up's picture
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/10/2008 - 2:03pm
60 years old and I'm gaming at work

Hello to all of you --
You know, I'd really like to retire with a big party at age 66 or sooner, not slink out with a pink slip when my boss discovers how much time I spend on puzzle games at work.

How much longer can I get away with the amazing amount of work time I spend on an online games site? Shame is my main feeling about my performance at work.

I am in the care of a psychiatrist. We have just identified a few new and old ways for me to work on my problem. One is trying to find a 12-step group that fits. (I attended Emotions Anonymous some time ago. A Gamblers Anonymous group I tried did not make me welcome.)

Gaming stalled my career. Would you believe that I played Windows Minesweeper until my fingers stiffened...that was in 1992 or so. I tried to break the habit by holding my self responsible publicly, telling my boss what I was doing and promising to stop NOW FOREVER. She did not keep the information private. No more promotions. I was lucky they didn't fire me. NOT RECOMMENDED..

I had a wonderful boss a few years ago who knew that I was misusing my computer (I was using MS Paint as my escape at that time.) He tried to work with me. Only when he told me I would have to stop or he would have to take disciplinary action did I succeed in stopping. That lasted for a couple of years and I felt so much better.

Here I am again. :| My current boss is so busy he doesn't seem to notice that I'm taking way too long to get things done. When I try to stop, fear of failure (I think it is) makes starting the next task so difficult that I switch off into games until I have a hard deadline to meet. My job has very few of them. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a sheltered workshop. One where everyone knows I'm mentally ill and they are keeping me around because their mission is to help the disabled. That is not true.

Now I have a backlog of tasks 23 items long and 4 months old. I have a project that has been dragging on for over a year. I can't seem to make my will put me back on the tracks.

And I haven't even started telling you how games keep my life disorganized at home.

So I got out my old EA book and reviewed step one. My mind resists starting from a negative declaration that I am powerless. Let's just say my emotions are strong enough to prevent me from stopping when I try, and this is making my life unmanageable and painful. If that is not "powerless", it's a close relative.

I am also re-reading Gerald May, Addiction and Grace, a great book by a psychiatrist, full of compassion, and written for a general audience.

I am thinking of joining a regular meeting on this site...I'm too new to know how that works yet. But it sounds good.

My best to all!

Level-Up aka Lynn

Gamersmom
Gamersmom's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 week 6 days ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/15/2006 - 12:33am
Welcome, Lynn. We actually

Welcome, Lynn. We actually have another former Minesweeper addict on this site. I'm sure he'll introduce himself. To attend meetings here, you just go to the chatroom and log into the meeting room at the appropriate time. The person running the meeting will take it from there and you will be warmly welcomed. You are not alone.

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

J. DOe
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 11 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 05/28/2007 - 5:23am
Lynn, I am not sure if I am

Lynn, I am not sure if I am the person who Gamersmom was referring to since I recall at least one or two other people mentioning playing Minesweeper but I think that I am the only one with a specific addiction problem to it. Although I also played several other regular video games, Minesweeper used to be one of my two preferred "drugs" of choice, with the other one being 3-D Pinball. I am also roughly similar to you in that I work mostly as an independent contract computer programmer and, as such, I have a lot of flexibility on what jobs I take on and when I would do them. For quite a while, I often delayed doing certain jobs (while playing video and using other forms of procrastination) which led me to have problems not only with those clients but also with it exacerbating my financial problems (I, of course, only got paid when I did the work!). Since I have now essentially not played video games for several months, I am starting to get my life back in order. This site, including its meetings, have helped me. As Gamersmom says, joining a meeting is as easy as just logging on, clicking on the "Chat Room" tab and then clicking on the "OLGA Meeting Room" link. Everything that you need to know will be explained to you there. The current meeting times are 7 p.m. EDT for one hour on Wednesday and Sunday. I currently chair the meeting on Sunday evening. If you have any questions regarding that beforehand, please feel free to PM (personal message) me about it. Finally, I noticed that in your thread Subject line, you mention that you are 60 years old. Although video game addiction seems to mostly be a problem with younger people, it affects older people as well, with people of all ages being members of this group. For example, I am 45 years old myself.

- John O.

[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)

level-up
level-up's picture
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/10/2008 - 2:03pm
Thank you Gamersmom for

Thank you Gamersmom for welcoming me. That feels very very good. :)

Level-Up aka Lynn

level-up
level-up's picture
Offline
Last seen: 11 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/10/2008 - 2:03pm
Thanks John for the info and

Thanks John for the info and your story. Sunday evening may work for me too. I hope I can get into recovery soon...no games so far today...alas no work either.

Level-Up aka Lynn

Log in or register to post comments