Yeah, mind told me all that and I'm right back in the crap - after 3 months of clean of all games. Guess what, 8:00 am and I've been up all night and am so zoned out of reality right now I feel like I'm in another universe. And before playing Defiance, since it just launched, I got back into regular games again (not online) for about a month. And no surprise, I have had zero interest in the girlfriend, not even to be sexual, she's wondering what's going on, sleep schedule disaster, calling out of work a lot, etc etc.
The joys of game addiction
And isn't it amazing how our mind can still trick us into thinking we're having fun and it's just so amazing? And the whole time playing feeling so empty, lost and miserable
Yup, the addict within is a big fat liar every single time. THAT we can count on.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Addiction is a cunning, baffling, powerful illness. Without help, it is too much for us.
The reason that recovery groups have a program of action of 12 steps is not to suit those of us looking for something to do. It's not to suit people who find following numbered steps fun. It's not to suit those of us looking for a higher power. The program of action of 12 steps has found its way into all recovery fellowships because it works where countless other approaches have failed. If there was a softer easier way, I GUARANTEE that 99% of addicts would adopt the easier way and ditch the 12 steps.
My point, for Alan, is that you can use this relapse and its pain and problems as motivation to do the work that actually addresses addiction. My point for the rest of us is that relapse into the same hell that we fought so hard to escape in the first place is easy if we don't do the work.
What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.
Scott is right on.
I've kept on with the steps, albeit slowly, not because I was looking forward to them (I was not), nor because I thought of them as "leveling up" (hey, folks, I've done the steps, now I'm cool, no more problems!), nor because I was excited about a higher power (pretty much an atheist guy, here, with a couple of twists), nor because I like doing numbered lists (I do like numbered lists, but this is way, way too much trouble to go through to get to 12, lol). I did them because I knew people in AA who did them and they worked for them, and my therapist told me they would help me and I trust her like I trust nobody else because she's outstanding. I did 'em because my life was a mess, and I had no hope, and l'd gotten lots of help and I was still stuck and something inside me knew I needed rehab. The 12 steps is free, outpatient rehab.
So yeah, Alan, my heart goes out to you in the midst of the disaster. Quit today and work the steps with a sponsor. It can get better. Lots better.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.