Addicted to Runescape

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scylla
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Addicted to Runescape

I've been playing this game for over 5 years. I have 5 or 6 characters on it as of right now. I stay at home all day long because I don't have a drivers license (my vision is 20/40 in one eye, 20/60 is considered blind). So I'm unemployed right now and am waiting on CARC to call me when they have found a job for me. When I get the job I will have transportation through my uncle and through my dad.

I find myself online from the hours of 9 am untill usually 11 pm, so yes I do play for quite a while, partly to keep in contact with friends who live a couple of states away from me. I have quit playing several times for around 3 months at a time only to find myself posting on video game forums that I've created, taking news content from sites like rpgamer & rpgfan.com. I've tried to sell my main runescape account twice but both times I wound up getting it back through runescapes recovery questions system. Anyways here I am at a crossroads and am looking for advice.

John of the Roses
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Welcome to OLGA. It was great chatting with you this evening and I hope you can find some solice and hope here. We'll see you at a meeting soon!

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

Gamersmom
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Welcome. Just want to let you know that 20/40 vision is actually acceptable for driving in my state, and 20/60 is not considered blind. My vision has always been about 20/200 and I am not blind. You might want to get a second opinion on the vision thing.

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

mkoco04
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Hello, welcome to OLGA. Just a few quick suggestions for you (coming from a recovering gamer, me ;) ):
When we play games at the level you are, we draw away from 'real life' (RL) entirely. So some of the best advice is find a way to re-integrate yourself with reality. In your case sounds like get second opinion on your eyes (20/60 is easily correctable by lenses), get more active in finding a job, take classes in a trade or skill that you want to get into, etc. Essentially I think it comes down to discovering what excites you about REAL life and put your energy there instead. But at first, the MOST important thing is this: get time AWAY from the game. The habitual playing of games, especially how much you're playing it, literally re-wires our brain and thoughts to function in a particular way, that is we seen the world in a skewed way, through the glasses of runescape, or whatever. There are many approaches, but I like this one: accept that you have a problem with obsessive gaming, that yes, you have warped your brain into this state through choice or circumstance. Its okay, don't beat yourself up over it, we all learn behaviors that are harmful to us, its really important not to get caught up in the shame and guilt of playing too much, that will just cause you to play more. I'm saying simple acceptance. Then simply choose to move on to and create something new. It can also be helpful in this step to build a foundation, because none of this is going to work if you don't actually want to quit and are ready to. I think you do since you're posting here at all. But I would recommend either posting about the following or just reflecting internally so you have something to go on:
Is gaming working in your life? What you getting out of it? Why do you want to quit? That kind of theme. Anyway, hope to see you around more. Keep posting, ok? Blessings,
Matt

scylla
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Well, here's the conversation I had the other day. Reading this should help the thread move on.

Quote:

scylla[0:15:39 AM]: anybody here actually active?
weevil[1:16:01 AM]: i just know that i need to get it together or i will mess up my life more then i already have
weevil[1:16:02 AM]: ya
gamelessly[1:16:07 AM]: active?
scylla[0:16:20 AM]: yea i posted a thread like a half hour ago...
gamelessly[1:16:21 AM]: hi scylia
scylla[0:16:27 AM]: looking for help
gamelessly[1:17:18 AM]: oh, you just missed our midnight meeting, someone will answer your thread eventually
gamelessly[1:18:02 AM]: r u a gamer?
scylla[0:18:05 AM]: not good news for me because i'll most likely forget about this site come tomorrow
scylla[0:18:09 AM]: yes
weevil[1:19:26 AM]: mark it in your favorites
gamelessly[1:19:46 AM]: too bad... hope you have some good times ahead instead of gaming
gamelessly[1:20:14 AM]: theres a lot of hard core gamers who have found recovery here
scylla[0:20:21 AM]: true
scylla[0:20:49 AM]: but being unemployed, stuck in the house all day without a drivers license doesnt really help that much either.
scylla[0:21:07 AM]: its either go online, watch cable or play on my gamecube or sleep....
gamelessly[1:21:45 AM]: tough choices
scylla[0:22:27 AM]: yea i know and i cant get out of the house either because the nearest shops & restaurnts are over 5 miles away.
gamelessly[1:22:29 AM]: no hobbies, no friends?
scylla[0:23:15 AM]: no, i just moved back to Louisiana from being in oklahoma, so I play rs partly to keep in contact with the friends in OK.
weevil[1:24:32 AM]: can you just use like aim or msn or something instead
scylla[0:25:12 AM]: no because they goto public libraries that block instant messengers and they dont use that anyways.
scylla[0:25:39 AM]: so i never can tell when they are going be online....
weevil[1:26:51 AM]: can you call them?
gamelessly[1:26:58 AM]: well OLGA is always around when you need us, so keep coming back and checking your posts, and keep reading other peoples threads because you never know when you'll read something you'll need to
scylla[0:28:10 AM]: I cant call them. One of em doesnt have a phone, the other is like living with his GF who doesnt have phone eithetr
scylla[0:28:34 AM]: I hate those typos, lol
weevil[1:28:58 AM]: lol
scylla[0:29:53 AM]: anyways yea, im quite an addict, I wound up using a site scraper to scrape content from an entire game cheat site
scylla[0:32:49 AM]: I dont know what to do to kick the habit really. when im not playin online, I look at rpgfan or whatever & steal their news articles & use that on my forums, but i guess thats kinda common though.
gamelessly[1:34:07 AM]: *nods
scylla[0:35:43 AM]: so what can i do to keep myself from going online? I neglect working on the html pages that I "ripped" from the site just to go & play runescape most of the time.
gamelessly[1:36:38 AM]: there are some ex rs players in olga
gamelessly[1:37:25 AM]: i had to think about all the precious time I was wasting, so now I spend a lot of time on OLGA
scylla[0:39:00 AM]: true, but i play because those are like my only two real friends that i really know, I mean I've known them both in person for over 6 years
scylla[0:40:05 AM]: its kinda like we've always been there for each other, but i guess I should move on now that, thats' my only way of contact with them right?
gamelessly[1:40:43 AM]: make new friends, volunteer locally, join a club doing something you enjoy other than gaming....learn to play the guitar
gamelessly[1:41:09 AM]: theres a world of things to do besides gaming
scylla[0:41:44 AM]: yea, for people who can get out of the house, and I cant get a guitar, i have no job.
gamelessly[1:45:08 AM]: tough life
gamelessly[1:45:37 AM]: why cant you work? disability?
scylla[0:46:04 AM]: I can't hold a job for very long.
scylla[0:46:20 AM]: i had one just a couple of months ago that lasted 5 weeks
scylla[0:46:37 AM]: and that was my first job within a 5 year time frame
scylla[0:47:19 AM]: i mean i've had jobs before this recent one, its just been 5 years since i last worked is what im saying
gamelessly[1:47:58 AM]: thats a long time to go without work
scylla[0:48:07 AM]: not only that but i have to rely on my dad or uncle for transportation
gamelessly[1:48:15 AM]: who supports you?
scylla[0:48:25 AM]: my dad currently
scylla[0:48:58 AM]: livin in oklahoma, i walked everywhere, living with my freinds
scylla[0:49:26 AM]: but everyday instead of lookin for a job i would just put that off & go onine at the library instead.
gamelessly[1:49:48 AM]: well i hope you find some support here at OLGA...
scylla[0:50:12 AM]: thats what i'm hoping for
gamelessly[1:50:48 AM]: only you can truly decide whether you are an addict or not
gamelessly[1:51:16 AM]: and then do or not do what you need to in order to quit gaming
gamelessly[1:51:37 AM]: some people moderate their gaming
gamelessly[1:52:03 AM]: i had to quit cold turkey, I quit several times and relapsed
gamelessly[1:52:08 AM]: but now i think I've beaten it
gamelessly[1:52:13 AM]: i have 19 days clean
scylla[0:52:34 AM]: i've wound up doing the same thing myself
scylla[0:52:53 AM]: for 2 to 6 month periods
scylla[0:53:59 AM]: i even tried to sell my runescape account only to find myself going to the password recovery section to get it back on TWO occasions.
gamelessly[1:54:03 AM]: vicious cycles, but all I ever feel...really, when i game, is an emptiness
gamelessly[1:54:28 AM]: cold and yet familiar
gamelessly[1:54:38 AM]: yes thats tempting
scylla[0:55:54 AM]: the thing was, i was wanting to quit runescape when i got all 3 sets of *** armors, but i found myself wanting more
scylla[0:56:03 AM]: like 99 smithing for example
gamelessly[1:57:36 AM]: yes, the game is designed to never end
gamelessly[1:57:51 AM]: it is a hard one to quit I hear because it is a free game
scylla[0:58:14 AM]: its kinda like, ok I'll quit whenever I get this done. And then its like, I havent been playing long enough, i'll never get to that. etc..
gamelessly[1:58:37 AM]: but it still costs the time...something I cannot put a price tag on myself...i have so little time left on earth
scylla[1:00:07 AM]: what i've been tellin myself for nearly months on end is somethng along lines of "oh well, I die when I die, to hell with it"
scylla[1:01:08 AM]: then thinking, I'd rather not goto heaven or hell I'd rather just be a ghost since I didnt have a choice in it to begin with, my path was already set to hell with it...
scylla[1:02:17 AM]: maybe im just thinking about it all wrong but i've gotten to where i dont really care anymore.

shiva
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

itA's not the thread that needs to move on, but your life...

scylla
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

I'm aware of that and thats why I'm here.

gsingjane
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

I'm glad you're here Scylla and hope that you'll stick around. There are lots of terrific, wise people here with an awful lot of good advice and support for you. But like they say, it only works if you work it... Check out the 12 steps. First one... you need to decide if life is manageable as is. It sounds like you're at least partway there to realizing that, no, it isn't manageable. It isn't going to just be tweaked back into place, with a few more minutes spent doing pushups and a few less spent on R.S. Nope, what's going to be needed is a mid-course correction. Your recovery can start anytime, but the only person who can take the first step out of the gaming addiction trap is you. I think what Max is trying to tell you is that you can come up with good reasons all day long for why you need to/have to/must continue to game. You're a bright guy and your addiction is going to constantly be priming you with more and more reasons why it needs to get fed. It can be a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason... addictions work that way, they want what they want, in the end reasons are just a smoke screen. Do you need to use your willpower to walk away? Yes, but that's not all. An awful lot of people find that they really cannot rely solely on their own strength to say goodbye to something with such a powerful hold on their lives. They need a supportive community (like the one here on OLGA, in a 12-step group, in an online or RL meeting) and they also need their Higher Power. Whether you call your HP God or the positive energy of the universe doesn't really matter, the point is that there is someone, some force outside yourself that loves you and wants you to heal, and believes you are worth it. Rather than thinking about all the reasons why your life is difficult (and from reading your posts, I see that in some ways it is), think about how you can use your circumstances to start to get better. You live 5 miles from anyplace? You're out of shape from years of sitting at the computer? You're unemployed? Heck, walk to the grocery store with a backpack then, every day if you have to. You're not that old, you can do it without killing yourself, and you'll start getting back into shape AND get away from the darn box - maybe 3 or 4 hours a day! Or get some clunker bike and fix it up (I'm talking garage sale special here, not Lance Armstrong's titanium model) and get some wheels under yourself. It's been done! Are you out in the country? Can you plant a garden? Do you live near a forest or nature preserve? Maybe head out every day for a walk. Just because you can't get somewhere in a car doesn't mean you can't go anywhere, it just means you won't get there quite as fast. (And take this from someone who lived the majority of her adult life without a car.) If you decide you want to volunteer doing something, ask whether you can get a ride to the site. Most people are happy to oblige, and it will also help you start making friends that don't deal exclusively with gaming. Another great thing volunteering can do is put you in touch with people who might be in a position to offer you a job, or know someone who can. That's how I got my job last summer, I volunteered with the organization for six years and then was offered a summer job. You can do this, you really can. It isn't too late, in fact it's never too late, to turn your life around. Keep coming back, let OLGA help. Jane in CT

shiva
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

What I meant was, that there is noone else who can tell you what to do, you must decide for yourself how to go on with your life. I find myself not willing to make suggestions because you are at a crossroads and you need to decide for yourself. If you are satisfied with the life you live, continue. If not, change it, with that we can help... Be well :) Max

Xandtar
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Muhi's greatest post. Crossroads. ----------------------------------- When we come to the crossroads. How do we know that it has taken over our life? How can we accept this? Anon can be a great thing at times. We can shut our world out and not deal with things that are going on around us. How do these things come to light? Our lives were filled with laughter a long time before this, but the addiction is overwhelming, and happiness no longer reigns. Why did we let it get this far? The absolute awe of the whole environment impressed us, and the compulsion began. A new world, a better world, one where we donaEU(tm)t have to work 9 aEU" 5, where we can be whatever we want to be, where we can shut ourselves away and no-one knows who we are, neither do they care what we look like, we can be whatever we want. Suddenly, life becomes pointless, as we do not interact with life no longer. We interact with a make believe world, a world where, yes we are where we want to be. Why do we want to stay there and resent anybody that tries to take it away from us? Life is boring, life is pointless, there is no excitement any longer. We know we are in trouble now but it doesnaEU(tm)t matter. We can put the letters away and hide them, it no longer matters. We want to stay here, we want to stay in this safe world. We adventure into the deep caverns of the unknown, we stick together, we cheer together and we accomplish things together. We must get further in our goals. There is no end to what we can do here. We must get to that higher level, we must get those items of power. We forget how we once enjoyed the things that we did. When we walked in the grasslands of the countryside and cherished the moments, with the birds singing and the sky ice blue. How the people we held dearest was at our side too. Instead, hurt reigns. We hate ourselves and we hate the people around us. We hate what we do, and we hate the people that try and stop us. Our goals are close, we are so close to achieving them. Unfortunately, once we achieve them there is always something else we want to achieve. Our friends online encourage us; we canaEU(tm)t let them down, we want those things too, we donaEU(tm)t want them to have them, we want to show we are needed too. But the comradeship of the guild is there, they know why we are there, they agree with us too. We now start to see the people outside as enemies. Why do they interfere so? Why do they want to take the pleasure that I get away from me? Why do they still stick around? Why are they still here? We have now forgotten how it use to be, how it use to be before. This is how life should be, you argue, there should be no 9 aEU" 5. This is how it should be. All our inhibitions. People say you have got a problem, and you are turning inwards on yourself. You can no longer interact with people, what have you got to talk about? You see them as interfering and doing you no good. What could they possible know? IaEU(tm)m in control. Then it happens one day. The crossroads for us all. A choice. A choice we must make. Depression has set in, and we see no point to life. But maybe there is a chance. A chance to drag yourself out of this hole, it doesnaEU(tm)t have to be like this. It could be so different. Remember back on the happier days, where we enjoyed life. The game has become a ritual, we no longer enjoy it, we need it but it does us no good. The game is a job, so a job consumes us 24/7, we have a breakdown. We need a break from this. CanaEU(tm)t take it any longer, something must give. What gives is your choice. LetaEU(tm)s hope itaEU(tm)s the right one. A light is shining bright, and we can shine so much if we let it. There is no need for all this pain, we can beat it. We can change things around, nothing is ever too late. We have become in need of the game, because that is all we have now, but we must break away from it. It is our way of ignoring problems, of dealing with problems, and yet we can give up so much just because of it. It is not easy. It is not easy to try and regain what we once had. What will people think of me? They know what has happened and IaEU(tm)m ashamed. I am ashamed of how I could have had let this happen. I donaEU(tm)t want people to think of me in that way, that I am weak, that I could give up so much over something like this. But there is hope. You get one life.
What do you want to achieve with your life?
There is so much out there, there is so much, so much you could do.
All those different things you want to accomplish, why canaEU(tm)t you?
Do you really give everything youaEU(tm)ve got to a particular thing, except the game?
Do you want to be on your own for the rest of your life?
What would you want people to remember you by? If you had a choice of doing anything or changing your life to the way you want it, what would it be? We sometimes get confused on our journey, the most important thing is to re-find the way. A small change can lead to a greater one. You will be surprised how much better you feel if you just take one day to yourself / or with someone and do something completely different. Make that one day, two. Take back up the old hobbies you once had. Start to find an interest in something else, preferably a sporting activity, or outside, as this can work wonders. Being outside on a beautiful hot day, or listening to the nature of what is around you, can be relaxing. Remember, if you have played that game 24/7, you have basically had no breaks whatsoever for months and months. No wonder you feel snappy, anxious, moody, depressed. There is no shame in admitting what you done. The important thing is to remember that you are now on the road to recovery and to a better life. A better life where one day you will say aEUoexxxx game doesnaEU(tm)t interest me no longer, what a waste of timeaEU. Where you will once cherish the important things in life. Addiction can be overcome and can be controlled. Sometimes, it is a means of an escape, even if you donaEU(tm)t think you are escaping from anything. I know one thing that can be off putting is when people categorise, and donaEU(tm)t really offer any sort of words of help. aEUoeAbout time you snapped out of thataEU, to me leads to more resentment and doesnaEU(tm)t address the situation. Your in control of you life, not your on-line games, not your guild who wants you to stay to kill UberMob_01. Learn to say no and mean it. After all, do they really appreciate what you do to help them? That you have sacrificed some time with your family to kill something for them? No, they will just want more the next time. Is your family really, really worth, giving all that you have, up?

Leveling in Real Life

lauramc
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Re: Addicted to Runescape

Wow, you just reminded me how sneaky the RS people were about trying to preserve accounts. I remember getting extra stuff by making sure I had the "security questions" set up. It never dawned on me that it was a way to make sure that you never left. I am happy to be Runescape free since about August or so. I had to have someone else close down my account actually. I did not have the guts (or strength at the time) to do it myself. I hope you will find a way back. Please join us for a meeting. Take care,

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