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Stand up for yourself by stretching beyond the limits of your past negative experience. Express your feelings. We can't find happiness when we give away our power. To be happy, we must have our personal power and maintain our emtional balance.

Those who habitually give away their power are in danger of developing an addictive personality. Having effective boundaries and standing up for ourselves is one of the only safeguards we possess in protecting our power. In contrast, the addictive person has few healthy boundaries He turns to excessive gaming, substance abuse, drugs, alcohol, sex, or other behaviors replace his loss of power and numb his feelings of toxic shame and deep sense of inadequacy that accompanies his shame. While addictive behavior may temporarily suppress feelings of self-hatred and low esteem, they can never resolve deep-seated emotional problems.

In masking the pain with excessive gaming, the addict only amplifies that pain. By giving away his power, the addict intensifies anguish. By refusing to face his pain, he unwittingly places himself in
destructive psychological bind. Whatever he flees from becomes large and more powerful than he is. Whatever is more powerful than he owns him, becoming the driving force in his life. When that happens
his power is no longer his. It has been transferred to what he fears most and adamantly refuses to face.

The addict, then, has no access to any positive aspect in his psyche. His only thought is to flee from the burden of his life and the weight of responsibility for his growth by making himself less conscious. What the addict fails to realize is that the only way to resolve his problems is to become more conscious, not less. However, becoming conscious takes work and commitment, and the addict has no interest in working on himself. While he may not know it, his ultimate goal is self-destruction. He is thoroughly immersed in his negative ego and totally ensconced in the role of victim.

Fortunately, consciousness can be transformed from any context. We get real when we face our unconscious toxic content. It is the only way we have to regain our power. The addict can alter his path to self-destruction by facing what he fears most. That is the only way he will regain his power. While the secret of what he must do is simple, entering the Elimination Zone is often a formidable undertaking. In the beginning of the journey, moving toward our fear intensifies that fear.

The antidote to fear is courage. In the context of personal evolution, courage means that we have decided to move forward and are willing to feel uncomfortable in order to escape where we have been. Courage means we are willing to take a risk in order to be free of an untenable situation. In the case of the addict, courage means that he is willing to sacrifice the habitual and the destructive aEU" the excessive gaming, the negative comfort zone that he is used to, for a chance at health and redemption.

For the addict, the road home to his real self and his true nature is not a mystery. Its requirements are few. 1. He has to want to do it. 2. Then he has to choose to do it. 3. Then he has to do it.

At some point in life, EVERYONE confronts the same question. Are we going to face ourselves and go forward, or are we going to avoid that confrontation, resist our growth and RUN IN PLACE for the rest of our lives?

Adapted from Just Who Do You Think You Are, Copywrite 2004 By Alan Mesher; Published by Sirius Creations Inc.
P. 124-126

Edited by: lizwool at: 12/6/06 8:01

Liz Woolley