Debating

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Mukta 1
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Debating

Ok this if my first post here.

I admit I WAS addicted. Very Very Very addicted. And that had some to do with my divorce. Not a lot but some. ( there are plenty other factors, but it certainly didnt help any. )

I've cut back on playing a LOT and told myselfe I won't let it get controll of my life again. I enjoy playing. I have a new girlfriend now. I want to make SURE that I don't let a game get involved in my personal life at all. I think I'm doing a good job. I play eq while my girl is at work. And as soon as she gets home I log off. I don't play on her days off because thats time we spend together. If friends call up and have something fun going on I have no problems shutting the comp off and going out. No problems at work and It hasn't effected me in my studies. So.... I THINK I am more than alright. I just want to make sure.

Advice or comments? I have been down the whole addiction thing and like to consider myselfe a survivor who might be able to assist others who havn't overcame there addiction yet.

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Debating

Welcome, Mukta,
Whether someone is 'addicted' or not is really up to the person. Only he or she knows if his or her playing is excessive and if it is causing any problems in his/her life. In your case it sounds like it did, but now you've found a more important reason to NOT let the game take a priority in your life. In my opinion, that is the key.

It's ok to be a survivor, but those who stop there are never really regaining control. Consider yourself one who has not only survived, but who has also reclaimed his personal power and his priorities. That not only makes you a survivor, but a winner. Focus on the positive and always keep striving to achieve more of yourself than anyone else would ever expect. That is the difference between a survivor and a champion!

Congratulations on regaining control - please continue to share your experiences with us.

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
On-Line Gamers Anonymous

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

lizwool
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Re: Debating

Hi Mutka,

Welcome, and thank you for sharing your story.

Share what you have to keep it!

It takes one, to know one.

I think it is wonderful that you are doing this!

I also want to tell you that I am sorry for the loss of your relationship.

Because I am from the family side of the relationship, I have a couple of thoughts for you.

I understand you like the game and it is fun for you.
I am concerned, that even though much has happened to you, because of your game use, that you still are playing it, so much.

Aren't there other things you can do, in your real life, to replace your game play? One of the things we suggest, is to make a list of 50 things you have always wanted to do, and start with the funnest things first!

I am concerned for you, because it sounds to me, like you are still defending the game, and not taking a good honest look at how it actually did impact your relationships, including your relationship with yourself.

I know real life isn't as much fun as playing the game, but easier is not always better.

Just a word of caution, to give you something to think about.

Keep coming back, and feel free to share with others.

If you think you need professional help, please get it.

Sincerely,
Liz

Liz Woolley

Mukta 1
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Re: Debating

I don't play because I feel it is "easier" than real life. And I have no problems putting it down when something "funner" comes up. When my girlfriend is at home, I don't touch it. On her days off, I don't touch it. When the guys call me up and want to go out for drinks, It gets turned off.

When I'm bored sitting at home and the Simpsons arent on... I'll play...

Am I being dishonest with myself? I don't think so. I know what it was like to NOT be able to put it down, turn it off.. walk away. I can and have gone weeks with it off. It is/was unfortunate that it took me loosing my marriage to realize and be able to controll this beast... but I have...

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Debating

Quote:It is/was unfortunate that it took me loosing my marriage to realize and be able to controll this beast... but I have... Well, the stuff we are dealing with here is not really the hard stuff - Playing any online games excessively and compulsively slows down when the underlying reasons for playing have been alleviated. In my case, I've not had any desire for marathon sessions since I quit originally in May of last year. It sounds like you've confronted your demon.
As for if you are being dishonest with yourself, I don't think so either. You know what the problem was and you learned from it. Those who continue to have serious problems are the ones who are in denial that there are any problems at all...even after watching their lives crumble around them.

I've learned that one can go from playing EQ excessively and compulsively to being able to play regularly without a problem, but only after he reconciles his original reasons for doing so in the first place. This is contrasted with substance abuse, in that an alcoholic, for example, can never really return to social drinking.

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
On-Line Gamers Anonymous

Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002

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