Duude I can't be bothered. A successful quitting topic.

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Dude
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Joined: 02/28/2005 - 1:15am
Duude I can't be bothered. A successful quitting topic.

True story here goes.. not tragic but yeah.

When I was younger I ended up making this reserve for Final Fantasy XI. It's basically Final Fantasy meets Everquest from what I can gather. A massively multiplayer game with Final Fantasy elements thrown in basically. As I started the game I noticed it had the warning label that people probably skip with some sort of "Don't forget your friends family job school" type message. I always made it a priority to keep onto that note.

Well this game was in my possession after a breakup I went through. I had a major mental hospital situation that my ex got me put into(this was before the game came in) and when I got out she was smoking massive pot with her ex and such. I tried my best to get her away from him. She denies cheating on me to this day after spending coutnless nights doing drugs and sleeping at his apartment. When she spoke of her readiness to do heroin I gave her the decision and she responded "I'm gonna do what I want to do." She never did it but her response made me run away.

Days later I ended up being notified of the what seemed like 2 year reservation of this game had come in. I purchased it and started playing. I'm guessing all the hell I went through semi sucked me in. I never felt helpless to it though. Later on I partially started to with high level portions of the game. Level up parties were required to be played in 3 hour stretches minimum and such. Anyways I ended up foolishly taking my ex back during these times but fighting still pursued, never because of the game. She never even knew it existed. The fights during attempt 2 with this girl were fights in general because I didn't like the drugs and such from when she was with the guy she was with. Thus I broke it off. I even gave it a third shot.. but she allowed a guy to visit her during late night hours and I feel her story kept getting twisted up.
Now that you know the events prior to my Final Fantasy XI(FFXI) playing here's the stuff to come. I'm out of a relationship with nowhere to go. In I went to this pretty addicting game. Although I felt that Iwas ok with this game I realize it did affect me. My fianl breakoff with this girl was nearing the summer. Since I had all the reason to run like hell I realize she steered me into her friends.. who were all druggies... bad idea to be near them. So I ended up playing FFXI hours on end with nothing to do.My play time record continued to rack up as I continued building a pretty high level character. I graduated high school and had no girlfriend and here I was stuck at this game day after day with nothing to do. I had a life.. but it was pretty empty. As I continued to play and get high level gear, lots of money, and build upon a character with massive success, I realized... "Where in the hell is this going to get me?" I even realized the fun was dimming and the waits for these high level events continued to heighten. Hours upon hours just to get a set of gear.. knowing the next piece of gear will be 10 times longer.. not so much challenging since all it takes is partnership and preset attacks to win..
The thing that scares me is that I managed to succeed with excellent grades throughout my first semester through college. I managed to budget myself and such with no problems. I wasn't satisfied though. My life in a nut shell.

School, Part time job, FFXI.

I managed to have fun in the game but as I approached my 2nd semester I realized I couldn't handle it. I would always go to bed thinking "Must sell auctions" "Must maintain garden" "Must figure out how to do (task)" It was turning into a chore.I remember how I was before trying this game and how I could have fun with video games. This wasn't becomnig fun, and I was unable to have a social life. Nobody with a life outside the game could talk to me that well. I managed to make friends while playing... but the relations were very distant. I know nobody would care that I got (item) last night or anything like that. People playing games play to have fun. This wasn't fun anymore.

I came to the decision eventually to drop the game. I gave out the possessions to someone on my friend list that still plays... I didn't want to logout until I reached 69 days of play time on my record(which was only minutes away). My friend and I laughd about this and I said my goodbyes online and logged out and cancelled the subscription.. and refuse to log back in.

I still have a love for video games.. but I look at them before I play them now. Video games in general aren't evils. It's just that making them our life is hurtful. I still play games online. But I play games that will not cause problems. MMORPGs implement things that keep you logged in. Other games do not. I play games that I will be able to logout once somebody requests something of me. In a way FFXI started becoming an escape.. but I had to draw the line on it. I have a healthly line on what I do now. My top priority is my schooland my subjects in school have toughened up by A LOT. I could not picture what it would be like with FFXI in the picture.

For those who need help you can IM me at AIM: Nixter128

Good luck to you all.