help me please

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triton1978
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help me please

Hi I need you're help.

I've allways played a lot of computer games, but when I started playing World Of Warcraft last April it really has just been too much.

I've checked how much time played, and it's 700hours worth of playing over a one year.

My girlfirend has been complaining a lot telling me that there's no way to contact me when Im logged in.

I've been lying about how much gaming I'm doing. taking sickies from work, and even pretending to work from home, while really just playing games.

I'm now 27, and been working in IT which I enjoys, but I've had a hard time concentrate focus and work.

I've been to a seminar in town, and was sneaking into a gamecafe in the brakes to play wow.

My girlfriend has been on a businesstrip the whole week, and needless to say that I've been playing nonstop. Took a day off work to play even more.

But last night when I saw my account was running out I announced to my guild that I was not going to renew it. Gave all my game money and some gear to one of my friends, and simply stopped.

THet tried to convince me giving me free account ans so on to continue playing, but it's not about the money playing the game, but what I'm loosing out off not playing.

Now the game has been uninstalled from my pc.

I really crave for playing again, and log in......I know I can never play online games again.

I told my girlfriend and real life friends how much I've been playing and to help me stop. Non of them play games as obssesive as I've done.

What to do next?

anonymous (not verified)
Re: help me please

Quote:I told my girlfriend and real life friends how much I've been playing and to help me stop. Non of them play games as obssesive as I've done.

What to do next?

Hi Triton,

you actually did many many of the things you need already. Especially the bit with telling your frinds and your girlfriend is a very very important step!

Take a look here: p198.ezboard.com/folgafrm18

to see the approach we recommend. It is by no means the one and only and it looks like quite some people find their own, but if you do not know how to go on, it is a good guide to start and to continue your work on yourself.

Wish you to stay on course

Maxim

------------------
What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.

ThorexFaust
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Re: help me please

Good luck on that end. I'm craving it so much I get the shakes sometimes.

It may never end. You may never lose the cravings, because games offer you stimulation on more levels that anything else in this entire world. It's not something easy to give up.

Understand that we live in the real world and play in fantasy ones. You can't always go on vacation and you also can't always game. If you use it as an escape for a few hours a week there's nothing wrong with that. 10-12 hours a day is simply ludicrous though.

If you can't moderate yourself a small amount of time to play everyday then you should quit it entirely. Moderation is the key word. I personally believe every single person in this world can become easily addicted to online gaming. It doesn't matter who you are.

So don't worry, you're normal, just bored.

anonymous (not verified)
Re: help me please

Quote:It may never end. You may never lose the cravings, because games offer you stimulation on more levels that anything else in this entire world.

Here I do not agree. I do agree though that we are not TAUGHT to enjoy the world... it is not conveniently set up to be enjoyed in the best way, like a video game is.

But the potential for satisfaction is far far greater.

Heck, would you rather have a virtual beer (or banana or car) or a real one.

Would you rather have virtual sex, or the real messy sweaty cool real thing...

And in the end ... everyone does their last deed in the real world anyway. The checkout is here and not in WoW.

We all die for real. And before we do, we face what we have done or not done with our lifes. Noone will be there to judge us, but we ourselfes. And judge we will ...

------------------
What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.

triton1978
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Re: help me please

Hey there a little update.

After reading the forums I decided to write my girlfriend a long letter explaning how I had been feeling, and asked for her help. I appoligized for not paying enough attention in the past year and spending all my tume and energy on playing games.

I also included my game cd's in the letter I had broken them all anyways.

I've also deleted all contacts with people in game in my msn and removed all game reference shortcuts in my internet explorer.

I must say I feel GREAT.

I've stopped dreaming about the games and don't really think about it at all anymore.

I can put my mind together at work, and our CIO had me into meeting Friday. I'm getting a new project and probl. a promotion.

I still play games, but nothing envolving MMOG and I get bored pretty quick.

Have started fixing things around the house instead, and going to the movies with my girlfriend.

At first after quiting the game, I had great problems passing time. It's still there but getting better.

I will start making a list why I can't play games to read during bad times.

Anyways, just an update, and thanks for the kind replies to my post.

anonymous (not verified)
Re: help me please

wonderfull! especially the letter with the broken CD, have to keep this kind of thing in mind

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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.

raffster
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Re: help me please

Focus on making up for the 700 hours you've lost on that game. Spend more time with your girlfriend and tell her that you're never going down that road again. Consider yourself lucky because there is nothing in your life that has been seriously and drastically affected by your game addiction.

Don't wait until the worst has happened before you snap out of it. Is any game really worth the pain, despair and aggravation you will be burdened with for the rest of your life when you lose the people who mean the most to you? I would gladly cut my arm off to be with my wife right now.

triton1978
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Re: help me please

Hey It's been a while.

Last night I felt I wanted to play wow so much that it was unbeliveable.

I can for sure say that I would have played the game, if I had the cd's.

Luckely I don't. And now that I told my girlfriend I can't play that game, she's been watching me anyways. So it's for the best. Reading the forums today has made me remember why I don't play it anymore.

But it made me think why I wanted to play the game and I belive it's because I'm trying to escape from something in real life.

I recieved a promotion two weeks ago, I'm gonna be project lead on our new global financial system, eventually taking me to China, India, US and rest of Europe.

This should all be great, but I'm having trouble concentrating thus resulting in completing all work just before deadline. This is stressing me out a lot.

But I see the pattern now, I'm strugling daily in keeping myself on the track and not try to escape into games, internet etc.

Anyway this is just me rambling on, I realize that a lot of ppl are worse off than me and I do concider myself lucky.

anonymous (not verified)
Re: help me please

am in a similar situation. Have written several pages for my diploma, am in the midst of organizing a company to teach yoga with my friends, am looking forward to new studies ...

And still I am sitting here at home and am craving to turn on a game.

Funny thing is, the more I accomplish, the more I seem to feel the cravings. Maybe because I used to use games as gratification for well done work ... strange stuff.

Good to hear you are well tritin. Keep the WoW CDs where they belong ... in the trashcan

------------------
What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.

triton1978
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Re: help me please

Hello just a little update here. First of all I'm still 100% wow free and to be honest I don't think much about it anymore. I have however played with the thought about getting the expansion pack, but after reading the posts in here today I realized how bad that
idea was. I still get stressed about work but try to handle it differently e.g. going out, reading books or doing sports. I started my final course for my IT degree so hopefully they'll be done next summer. In which we are planning to move to Sydney Australia where my brother and sister are living. Big changes are about to happen and I can't wait.

mkoco04
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Re: help me please

Really gives me a lot of hope to hear your story of recovery triton, keep up the good work, and God bless.

Xandtar
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Re: help me please

I am so pleased to hear that you are doing well. I wish you all the best. :)

Leveling in Real Life

SnowWhite
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Re: help me please

whoooo hoooooooo!

"This is the end...." The Doors

triton1978
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Re: help me please

Thought I would post an update. Status: Are still completely WOW free, will never ever return, don't visit the websites, or care about any new expansion packs. However still have the competitive addiction habit, I recently managed to play Battlefield too much for my own good, but
no were as much as WOW. But also good news: I managed to complete my IT degree this summer, which meant that I could quit my job (last day on friday)
I have sold my apartment, and me and my girlfriend will be moving to Australia 2. October after a two month vacation in Asia Can't wait. and I won't get a new gaming computer i Sydney, I think I want to learn surfing instead :) Thanks to all the wonderful people in this site.

Katesha
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Re: help me please

Thank you taking the time for posting your progress. It is great to hear you are doing so well and that, yes, there is indeed life after gaming addictions! I wish you good fortune and happiness in the future. Kathy

John of the Roses
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Re: help me please

It was grand to speak with you in the chat room, Ben. It helped me that you think of my recovery as doing well. I just met you, however it seems i know your story, especially after reading your past posts now. I wish you Godspeed in your travels and a good life in Australia. It takes real ambition and drive to accomplish what you have done in such a relatively short time. I invited you to the OLGA chat for western Europe which I think will be 8pm your time there. Now we have to figure out the time for an evening meeting in Australia, and i will chair it! Keep coming back :) John

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

Gamersmom
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Re: help me please

Welcome back Triton! Good for you! Have a wonderful life in Australia!

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

TheGitt
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Re: help me please

Congratulations on so many levels; quiting gaming, completing school, your relationship, new job, new home, and even the holiday. Very inspiring.

shiva
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Re: help me please

congratulations, and good luck with the waves :D

jodie
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Re: help me please

triton, I'm new to this site and in recovery. It's really great to see someone take the time to keep checking in, over quite a period of time too. Grats to you on taking charge of your life. This site is an excellent place for me too. Enjoy life, Jodie

triton1978
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Re: help me please

Hey people. Thought I would check in and post a little update. Just wanted you all to know that we have arrived safely in Sydney Australia. I sold everything I had in Europe before leaving.
I did a fair bit of traveling with my girlfriend. We traveled from south of China to Beijing. From there we took the train to Lhasa in Tibet. I saw some amazing things in Tibet and the Mountains was something else. You really fell tiny little standing on the foot of Mount Everest (or it could have been the altitude)
Anyways we have moved into an appartment near the Botanic gardens where I have started running in the mornings. The other day I thought about posting here again. Yes I still don't play wow, but I still play computergames. I think the difference now is that I try not to
get too engaged, I fell a relief thinking about no-one or not anything needs me to be online. I can just relax and read a book. And I try keeping it that way.
I still get obsesive with trying to complete a stage in a computergame, but not for 12 hours switching my brain off. Also I still think about how missarable I have been, and I am glad that I found a way out. I still get down sometimes, as does everyone else I presume, but playing computergames does not solve this for me anymore. Anyhoo, hope you all will keep your hopes up. All the best
Ben

IwasFooled
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Re: help me please

Hey Ben, that journey you took sounds amazing and exciting to me. I never made it to Tibet but would love to go there sometimes. Would you host some picturs? I thin the would really amaze me, as I am a travel person. And playing computer games from time to time is not a problem, as long as you can control yourself... Cheers Bob

BoB

Don't fool yourself with the 'What if' phrase!

satyag
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Re: help me please

OOh I wish I could have been on that journey. One day soon I hope I am able to have more time and money to travel> Happy to hear that you have been managing to control your gaming.

triton1978
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Re: help me please
"IwasFooled " wrote:

Hey Ben, that journey you took sounds amazing and exciting to me. I never made it to Tibet but would love to go there sometimes. Would you host some picturs? I thin the would really amaze me, as I am a travel person. And playing computer games from time to time is not a problem, as long as you can control yourself... Cheers Bob

Hey I know it's a bit off topic, but I have uploaded some of the pictures from Tibet. enjoy
http://www.flickr.com/photos/10times

IwasFooled
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Re: help me please

Hey Ben, thanks for posting these beatiful pictures! I really enjoyed them :o. They are so exotic, I think that is most fascinating about them... Was that your highest point on 5200 meters? :) Never been that high up in a mountain myself... Bob

BoB

Don't fool yourself with the 'What if' phrase!

satyag
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Re: help me please

Thanks for sharing the awesome sights.

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