Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go back and read over your previous posts, from the beginning of your thread until now. I do understand that people's feelings change over time, that you can think things are a certain way, and then later on your perspective is different. However, you said, many times, that you believed yourself to be, in fact, addicted to video games. For at least some time, you bravely struggled against your cravings and honestly reported on your progress. You also, honestly, reported on your relapses. (BTW, I'd guess that probably about 90% of the gamers that come through here just disappear when they relapse, so hats off to you for that.)
Then you stated that you're going to try "controlled" gaming. The honest feedback that you got, from your fellow addicts, is that this is highly unlikely to work. That isn't disrespecting you, it's the "experience" part of the "experience, strength and hope" that we try to share. Look at it this way: if an AA member came to a meeting and said, I've decided to limit my drinking to beer, or to two shots a day... would you expect her fellow members to say, wow, what a great idea? No, they would say, in words or substance, stop kidding yourself. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but we wouldn't be providing much support to you if we only affirmed you in every choice.
Of course nobody can fully understand you or your situation over the internet. Of course there are human variables that come into play, that are impossible to convey in the context of a forum. You described a situation involving your boyfriend that could have led people to conclude that you were being neglected, if not mistreated. Nobody is "bashing" him by pointing out how it looks from the outside. If the situation is more complicated or has changed, fine. But in the meantime, don't shoot the messenger.
Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go back and read over your previous posts, from the beginning of your thread until now. I do understand that people's feelings change over time, that you can think things are a certain way, and then later on your perspective is different. However, you said, many times, that you believed yourself to be, in fact, addicted to video games. For at least some time, you bravely struggled against your cravings and honestly reported on your progress. You also, honestly, reported on your relapses. (BTW, I'd guess that probably about 90% of the gamers that come through here just disappear when they relapse, so hats off to you for that.)
Then you stated that you're going to try "controlled" gaming. The honest feedback that you got, from your fellow addicts, is that this is highly unlikely to work. That isn't disrespecting you, it's the "experience" part of the "experience, strength and hope" that we try to share. Look at it this way: if an AA member came to a meeting and said, I've decided to limit my drinking to beer, or to two shots a day... would you expect her fellow members to say, wow, what a great idea? No, they would say, in words or substance, stop kidding yourself. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but we wouldn't be providing much support to you if we only affirmed you in every choice.
Of course nobody can fully understand you or your situation over the internet. Of course there are human variables that come into play, that are impossible to convey in the context of a forum. You described a situation involving your boyfriend that could have led people to conclude that you were being neglected, if not mistreated. Nobody is "bashing" him by pointing out how it looks from the outside. If the situation is more complicated or has changed, fine. But in the meantime, don't shoot the messenger.
Jane in CT
Hi Jane. I didn't at any point say I wasn't addicted or that I was upset with anyone for saying controlled gaming didn't work for them etc. People did ask me to update them as to how I was doing with the controlled gaming. So I did post what was going on. I did ask them to stop "bashing" my boyfriend because if you read back I was told to get rid of him and get a new one. So, no I'm not upset about the advice about game playing and I didn't in any way imply that. I appreciate alot of the advice that people have given me on the board in regards to my addiction and the support. The point is I value people's advice about the gaming and the addiction and I'd rather people be honest about their experience than not. Which is what I try to do myself. Take care.
I thought the reply talking about removign your boyfriend form the equation was harsh at first. Then I got to thinking, its not about a disposable boyfriend or "just kicking him to the curb" its about him valuing YOU more then the game. If he will not, then you really have no choice unless your happy with the game comming first. I speak from experiance here, as I was the one who put my wife second to the games, and now she is gone. So she wasnt happy with he games comming first and she did truley try to get me to make her #1 like she used to be, and should have always been. I hope things differ with you two I truley do.
I also put the games before playing / interacting with the kids and for that I am ashamed, mind you this is me and I'm just trying to identify based on what I did. I didnt neglect them, however I didnt really play with them or much QT either and I can tell you all that the differance in thier behavior and attitude is quite noticable. The smile more and my youngest goes around singing now, in short they are happyer children. This is in only 3 months of "gaming abstinence" what a differance this change has made in my life and in the life of those around me.
I am 36 and I am addicted to gaming. I used to play a total of 8-10 hours a day every day as I'm retired military and had the time to do so.
Alright I need to think about everything everyone's been saying. If I've offended anyone by how I responded to some of the posts I apologize. Goodnight folks.
Hi there Suntime,
Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go back and read over your previous posts, from the beginning of your thread until now. I do understand that people's feelings change over time, that you can think things are a certain way, and then later on your perspective is different. However, you said, many times, that you believed yourself to be, in fact, addicted to video games. For at least some time, you bravely struggled against your cravings and honestly reported on your progress. You also, honestly, reported on your relapses. (BTW, I'd guess that probably about 90% of the gamers that come through here just disappear when they relapse, so hats off to you for that.)
Then you stated that you're going to try "controlled" gaming. The honest feedback that you got, from your fellow addicts, is that this is highly unlikely to work. That isn't disrespecting you, it's the "experience" part of the "experience, strength and hope" that we try to share. Look at it this way: if an AA member came to a meeting and said, I've decided to limit my drinking to beer, or to two shots a day... would you expect her fellow members to say, wow, what a great idea? No, they would say, in words or substance, stop kidding yourself. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but we wouldn't be providing much support to you if we only affirmed you in every choice.
Of course nobody can fully understand you or your situation over the internet. Of course there are human variables that come into play, that are impossible to convey in the context of a forum. You described a situation involving your boyfriend that could have led people to conclude that you were being neglected, if not mistreated. Nobody is "bashing" him by pointing out how it looks from the outside. If the situation is more complicated or has changed, fine. But in the meantime, don't shoot the messenger.
Jane in CT
Hi Jane. I didn't at any point say I wasn't addicted or that I was upset with anyone for saying controlled gaming didn't work for them etc. People did ask me to update them as to how I was doing with the controlled gaming. So I did post what was going on. I did ask them to stop "bashing" my boyfriend because if you read back I was told to get rid of him and get a new one. So, no I'm not upset about the advice about game playing and I didn't in any way imply that. I appreciate alot of the advice that people have given me on the board in regards to my addiction and the support. The point is I value people's advice about the gaming and the addiction and I'd rather people be honest about their experience than not. Which is what I try to do myself. Take care.
I thought the reply talking about removign your boyfriend form the equation was harsh at first. Then I got to thinking, its not about a disposable boyfriend or "just kicking him to the curb" its about him valuing YOU more then the game. If he will not, then you really have no choice unless your happy with the game comming first. I speak from experiance here, as I was the one who put my wife second to the games, and now she is gone. So she wasnt happy with he games comming first and she did truley try to get me to make her #1 like she used to be, and should have always been. I hope things differ with you two I truley do.
I also put the games before playing / interacting with the kids and for that I am ashamed, mind you this is me and I'm just trying to identify based on what I did. I didnt neglect them, however I didnt really play with them or much QT either and I can tell you all that the differance in thier behavior and attitude is quite noticable. The smile more and my youngest goes around singing now, in short they are happyer children. This is in only 3 months of "gaming abstinence" what a differance this change has made in my life and in the life of those around me.
I am 36 and I am addicted to gaming. I used to play a total of 8-10 hours a day every day as I'm retired military and had the time to do so.
Alright I need to think about everything everyone's been saying. If I've offended anyone by how I responded to some of the posts I apologize. Goodnight folks.
I gave up the WOW again. I'm playing other games but not like I did WOW. Wanted to let you know. Still working on stuff. Take care.