I feel a little strange, writing this, putting feelings to words. It makes everything more tangiable.
I first entered secondlife 5 years ago as a "oooo whats this" kinda thing... it was fun, nothing great... but it started to spread into my life, and take up more time... I left, many times, though refused to close my account with stupid excuses such as "it has been there so long" or "I have so much on there" and thus the hold was never broken, I -always- went back.
About two years into this, i began to discover the more... sordid... side of SecondLife, and divulged deeply within it, the fantasy of the make believe was intoxicating for me. I am married, happily, in my real life... I never saw what I was doing as a threat or betrayal to those who I loved, but deep down, I know now that I was wrong.
Constantly, I would go back, and it would create RL problems, and I would leave, and put it behind me. And this continued over and over in a vicious cycle, my obsession unabaited. It destroyed my other half completely, and corrupted me to my core... my little games.
Finally, 4 months ago, I closed my account, my 5 year old account. I had to... it has now been 4 months since I have touched secondlife, but its poison has never left my thoughts... I constantly find myself thinking about the world there, and the people i had known... or not known so well, as it may be.
I have found recently it is increasingly harder... I have tried turning to other, more innocent MMO's to block out my thoughts on it, but it does no good. I am struggling, and came across this site, and decided to post this...
I wanted to affirm my addiction, and acknowledge to myself that it is an addiction, and I also wanted to know how people in the past have dealt with the feelings of withdrawal from SecondLife imparticular.
Thankyou for reading...